Thick Thighs & Pretty Eyes

I was funny once three years ago, so I'm sort of a big deal. Ashlee's the name, being insecure is the game.

[trasemc]

NASA has released new images of Jupiter, taken by the Juno Spacecraft.

[justgot1]

Van Gogh was actually a homesick Jupitarian

[onlytwitterpics]

[memewhore]

[msknope]

[bender-rodrigas]

[ristay]

Sorry if it’s a little cramped- had to make this all fit in ten photos. Hope you guys like it….. and again…. sorry Andrew

Follow me on Webtoons

[found-bodies]

[skrytch]

also

[ruinedchildhood]

[gemmarosity-deactivated20180906]

i cant believe americans on tv really say rock paper scissors like???? its paper scissors rock omg do u irl americans actually say rock paper scissors????

[gemmarosity-deactivated20180906]

rb this with whether u say paper scissors rock or rock paper scissors

[doing-talking]

me normally: linguistic differences are so interesting and cool! I love hearing different dialectal variations.

me, reading “paper, scissors, rock” with my own two eyeballs: the lord is testing me

[writing-prompt-s]

At long last, The Chosen One has been discovered. Working as a cashier. With no interest in doing anything even slightly more difficult.

[crazymuff1n-deactivated20230428]

yeah because there is nothing more difficult than retail

[piningeddie]

tbh anyone who works/has worked retail would see the chance to go around saving the world in ways that could potentially kill them as a welcome vacation

[copperbadge]

“Does the position of Chosen One offer health benefits of any kind?” 

“Well, our ragtag gang of world-saving underdogs has a doctor on-team.”

“Do I have to pay her out of pocket, is what I’m asking.”

“Gosh no! She’s an idealist, you don’t pay her at all!”

“Oh! That’s nice. But then I guess there’s no paycheck.”

“I mean, the secret cabal that dispenses our orders does make sure we have enough money to feed ourselves and keep a roof over our secret lair and such.”

“Hourly?”

“Hourly what?”

“Like have you guys ever had to punch a time clock?”

“We once had to dismantle a sinister time-freezing device in the shape of a clock….otherwise no.”

“Sold. Off we go.” 

[jumpingjacktrash]

“do i have to be nice to people who are yelling at me?”

“we’re the good guys, you can’t kill random civilians just because they’re mean!”

“kill?? no, i mean, can i tell them off.”

“well, sure, of course.”

*rips name tag off shirt and tosses it over shoulder* “i’m your huckleberry.”

[pathfuckery]

This resonates on a spiritual level

[catchymemes]

Berkeleymews dump

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Credit: twitter | facebook | tumblr | instagram

[pizzaotter]

Every single one of these is pure gold.

[partakerofpeachesinthepuss]

The card trick is hands down my fave.

[tomboy-cutie-deactivated2019010]

breh 😭😭💀

[thekid45]

I love tumblr

[fuckthisbloganditscurses]

Happiness Will Come To You.

[12goblins]

when tho

[fuckthisbloganditscurses]

When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March

[wizardshark]

reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!

[xxri7]

one day you will know, i wasn’t like them

[knifefightscene]

THE ANIMAL NOT THE COP KHFGJFGHHHJ

[cats2019forthenintendoswitch]

Same energy

[clayinla]

I’m glad he clarified tbh

[babyanimalgifs]

Son I can see you

[noahnomore]

[catchymemes]