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todays bird
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d e v o n
tannertan36
Origami Around
Keni
Claire Keane
macklin celebrini has autism
Jules of Nature
Cosimo Galluzzi
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
will byers stan first human second
if i look back, i am lost
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RMH
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seen from Italy
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@freyarosesaunders-blog
“Then let me repeat myself: I adore you and love you with all of my heart. I’m gonna need you to just live with me if you’re gonna take care of me.”
“My house is far too big for just me anyways. Count me in. I won’t take up much space and I promise to always take care of you.
“Are these not normal thoughts? ‘Cause I thought they were. It’s fine. After tonight, you’ll think about it a lot more. Oh, Good, more drinks.”
“I don’t know if I’m the person to ask about normal thoughts. I can’t complain about having something else to think about though,” Freya answered with a shrug as she held up her hand to get the attention of the bartender. “Two more please.”
“Not to sound like a downer, but I’ve never understood the concept of hope. The less you hope for something, the less disappointed you feel when life shits on you. Parent. I have no relationship with my father. Your parents not so great either? I can’t even begin to understood how you feel, but you are allowed to live your life. Just because he is gone doesn’t mean you have to be, hon. You can spend Christmas with me,” she suggested as an afterthought, but it was a genuine offer. “My family is coming in early and leaving before Christmas and I’ll have plenty of leftovers. Or you could join us all for dinner, but I don’t know if that would be awkward for you because you don’t know them.”
“Never really thought of it that way so I can’t say you’re wrong. Ahh well one less parent to deal with can be good or bad I’m guessing. Mine are just overbearing as they always have been and now it’s only gotten worse. It just sorta feels like he took part of me with,” Freya attempted to explain before realizing Vik had also made an offer. “On a brighter note I’d love to spend Christmas with you. Family or not. If it lightens the pressure on you then count me in while they are there. As a lawyer I’m awfully good at convincing people of things. Including liking me.”
“Just rely on me now.”
Of course Freya had found out about Lyss’ dad. It was just a matter of time until the entire town found out, honestly. She’d been dumb to think that the news wouldn’t have spread around the small town, no matter her best efforts to hide the truth from everyone, including her friends. “Thanks, but no thanks,” she mumbled, standing up and reaching for her jacket. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Freya or that they weren’t friends. Lyss just wasn’t used to this. Sympathy was a sign of weakness and she wanted nothing to do with it. Reaching over, she picked up her glass and downed the rest of her drink, letting the alcohol burn the back of her throat. At least she could still feel something she supposed. “I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. Always have. No need to change that anytime soon.”
Why will you be alone? Believe me we’ll not be the only ones. The bar will be full of persons like us, who want to forget it’s Christmas.
Honestly? My fiancé died a few months back and I can’t stand to spend time with my family when all they do is pity me. Anyways I suppose you probably are right. Plenty of people have problems this time of year.
“You can’t hide from your shadow, it’s the only thing you own.”
Freya was a few drinks in when Lyss spoke and she turned her head to meet her eyes when she did. It felt like Lyss could see right through her in that moment and she wasn’t really sure what to say. Focusing back in on the drink she held she downed it in one quick move before flicking her hair behind her shoulder. “I’ve gotten pretty good at hiding,” she answered before reaching forward and grabbing the bottle they shared. Filling up her drink she didn’t bother to say anything else on the matter.
"I can't leave you on your own." (india)
The words startled Freya as she looked up to come face to face with India once more. She’d already walked away from her concern and right back onto the dance floor. Freya had no idea how many drinks she had but even her thoughts were barely comprehensible to her and all she wanted to do was enjoy that numb feeling. It was a feeling she had been craving since Leo had passed and now she finally had it in her grasps. Or she had until India kept popping up in front of her to kill her buzz. “Shh no. Dance now,” Freya slurred her words barely sounding like words at all. She tried to turn away but ended up tripping over nothing and she would had fallen if India hadn’t caught her arm. “Okay maybe sleep now,” Freya murmured softly the words still hard to understand.
“I can’t leave you on your own.”
It wasn’t until this moment that Freya realized just how bad she was feeling. Her entire body was trembling as she rocked back and forth, gripping her knees to her chest. Traces of blood smeared across her skin from where she’d dug her nails into her palms. Nobody had ever seen her like this. In the moments where she cried so hard her whole body hurt. She didn’t now what to say to Mallory. Sure she’d cried in front of her before but not like this. Nothing was like this. This was falling to pieces and she did that one her own or in front of only one other person. She wiped furiously at her face before forcing herself to stand and then hurling herself into Mallory’s arms. “I don’t want you to leave,” she admitted her voice choked with tears.
“I’m a mess.”
Freya’s heart ached to hear those words from Mallory. It ached because she knew exactly what her friend was feeling. Their worlds had fallen apart around them in moments and everything suddenly felt impossible. Reaching out she took Mallory’s hand in her own, squeezing it tightly. “Do I look like I’m any less of a mess than you are,” Freya answered honestly. Tears were burning the backs of her eyes as she admitted it out loud. It was always so hard for Freya to admit that she wasn’t doing as well as she often pretended to be. “We’ll be a mess together and then maybe someday things will change. Until then we have each other. You’re not alone and it’s okay to be a mess.”
"I guess I should have let you win."
As soon as Griffin spoke Freya felt herself smiling just slightly. It was something she had tried to tell him right when they started the small debate but he hadn’t listened. It was impressive that he was able to keep up with her for so long but Freya loved her job as a lawyer and she could argue her way through just about anything. “At least you realize your mistake now and we can just avoid this next time,” Freya teased in answer.“Although it is pretty fun to watch you try to keep up and who knows this could be good practice for you.”
Send one of these in my askbox to see how my muse reacts
“Everyone ends up alone.” “Stay close to me.” “We need to get away.” “This is all for you.” “How could you be so heartless?” “There’s gotta be another way out.” “I’ve tried forever getting out on my own.” “I don’t want to fight alone any more.” “I never thought you would really go.” “I was being such a fool.” “But I can’t live without you.” “If I wanted to leave I would have left by now.” “Don’t let me down.” “And now I’m feeling stupid.” “I’ll only stay with you one more night.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Can’t take it no more.” “I used to pretend that I felt okay.” “I’ve failed you again.” “God knows that I tried…” “I was dreaming for so long.” “You are the piece of me I wish I didn’t need.” “If our love’s insanity, why are you my clarity?” “We both know how this ends.” “This is not what I do.” “Is that all right?” “Am I even human?” “I’m a mess.” “At least I’ve always been myself.” “No one knows my heart.” “I don’t know what I’m doing.” “There is something that you need to let me know.” “Be honest please.” “Say you’ll stay.” “I’ll look after you.” “I wasn’t looking for this.” “Here’s my number.” “Where do you think you’re going, baby?” “I missed you so bad.” “You see?” “Come on let’s go and play!” “Be my baby.” “Don’t you ever say I just walked away.” “I will always want you.” “I never meant to start a war.” “I just wanted you to let me in.” “I guess I should’ve let you win.” “You make me crazy from happiness.” “You’re my prince from the fairy tale.” “Where do I go if you leave?” “I was afraid you don’t care about me.” “I can’t forget you.” “I’m your destiny.” “You are like frost.” “We just have to wait until the next life.” “We need to talk.” “Where did I go wrong?” “I lost a friend.” “If I don’t say this now I will surely break.” “I’m losing my control.” “What’s mine is yours to leave or take.” “You’ve begun to feel like home.” “If that’s what you want…” “But I’m only human!” “I bleed…” “I can do it!” “Don’t let them in.” “Let it go.” “We only have each other.“ “Okay, can I just, say something crazy?” “We are meant to be.”
I wonder if anyone ever looks at me while I’m doing something and thinks I’m pretty. Because I do that all the time to people.
The connection Freya felt with Mallory was one she hadn’t expected but it was surprisingly nice despite it’s dreary beginning. Nobody ever really understood just how she was feeling after what happened. They tried but it never quite worked. Mallory on the other hand was now going through something similar and Freya couldn’t help but feel like it was just meant for them know each other. Maybe they could even help each other through this. Which was why she’d invited Mallory over for a girl’s night in. They could eat junk food, watch movies, talk as much as they needed and just be themselves instead of pretending to be alright. As she made sure all the snacks were out Freya heard a knock on the door and made her way over to it. “Come on in!”
“Yeah, but if I do that, she’ll freak out like she always does when I don’t talk to her because she always blames herself when we stop speaking and I worry about her falling into old habits. Our relationship is just weird and complicated. That doesn’t help, really. Christmas should be enjoyed, not dreaded. Is it because of what happened?”
“Ahh then I think you seem to be stuck with no choice but to continue and hope it gets better. I get having a weird relationship with parents. Truly. Well I have trouble enjoying a lot of things right now but yes it’s because of what happened. I just think I’ll be spending the holidays alone is all.”
It’s good to know I’m not alone. I just hate the way corporations commercialize this holiday. And the whole all the hype around.
“The hype is just reminding me that I’ll be spending mine alone which I’m assuming is why you’re feeling homesick as well.”
This chick rules @chloebennet4 - @claireholt
The best kind of people are the ones that come into your life, and make you see the sun where you once saw clouds. The people that believe in you so much, you start to believe in you too. The people that love you, simply for being you. The once in a lifetime kind of people.
Unknown (via purplebuddhaproject)
