Thank you @viophire for the VD!
[VD: an objection.lol video using clean ace attorney character sprites. the sprite actions are marked in [brackets.]
klavier gavin presents a gif of a pineapple being squeezed bt a hydraulic press until the juice sprays out the bottom.
klavier: after my werewolf boyfriend pulls out
apollo justice: [shocked] your WHAT
klavier: [pointing] my werewolf boyfriend
judge: I’m sorry, am I reading that right??
klavier: [sweating] MY [a cropped image of a werewolf leaning over]
trucy wright, as co-counsel: So we’re just gonna ignore the watermelon getting crushed?
klavier: [in green and red text] Watermelon
kristoph gavin, on the witness stand: Hey so does anyone have the nsfw version for that werewolf pic just asking
apollo: [disheartened] (I don’t feel safe)
miles edgeworth, on the witness stand: (read as tumblr tags) #Also I dated a dude who thought he was a werewolf, #that was interesting, #Not as interesting as him calling his friend mom and supporting her when she kidnapped her siblings, #but like the attempt at trying to get me to roleplay some godawful shit was up there
apollo: [shocked] I’m sorry what
[the “Hold it!” bubble appears on screen.]
klavier: [sweating] i know im op this thread has absolutely gotten out of control
kristoph: hold on op aren’t you the person who had an iq of 4?
[a gallery shot of the jury muttering.]
[the judge bangs his gavel.]
judge: [shocked] I’m crying. Nobody’s clearing anything up, they just deflect onto the next plot twist
disbarred phoenix wright, on the witness stand, all caps: WHAT IS HAPPENING?
trucy, side-on in all caps: OP’S THE GUY FROM THE HORNY IHOP WAITER POST
phoenix, all caps: THE HORNY WHAT?
klavier: [shocked, sweating] …
wocky kitaki, on the witness stand: [twirling hair] Since we’re just listing them off my favorite Wereralph post is the poptart pussy one
[the “Hold it!” bubble appears again.]
apollo, in caps: [shocked] THE WHAT?!
[the screen fades to black before showing a younger klavier.]
younger klavier: Oh, My Pussy? It like a toaster go like [snaps] *Ding* poptarts roasted and ready
apollo: [thinking] I am so fucking concerned for the mental health of 95% of the people on this hellsite
trucy: personally i’m at 96%
[the judge bangs his gavel.]
judge: [shakes head] This post keeps getting worse
kristoph: [angry] I often find myself wondering how this website is so utterly incapable of making money, and then I see posts like this and I am violently given my answer.
apollo: [slams desk] For the love of god, stop asking “the what?” that’s how this continues!
wocky: But what about the thirty for Minotaur?
apollo: [embarrased] Ahem. The what?
judge: [shakes head] No. Cancelled.
[the screen flashes white and shakes]
klavier: [looking up] But why?
apollo: [thinking] I. Just. (What the fuck do I do with this information now)
ema skye, on the witness stand: [shocked] GUYS stop reblogging this. [presents an image of adam driver dressed in military clothes.] OP was in the Marine Core and is technically a war criminal.
[the image is zoomed in to full-screen as ema talks over it.]
ema: He turned a blind eye when his comrades killed innocent civilians in Baghdad. He refused [sic] testify against soldiers who committed atrocities towards civilians.
[screen fades back to the courtroom.]
ema: Stop reblogging OPs posts because that takes attention away from what OP is trying to hide.
klavier: [snaps] You sure that’s me?
[klavier plays air guitar before banging the wall next to him.]
klavier: Like are you sure that’s me?
[“Objection!” appears on screen.]
apollo, in caps: [shocked] I’M- THAT’S ADAM DRIVER
phoenix: …this has been a wild ride
dick gumshoe, on the witness stand: It was a pineapple, not a watermelon.
phoenix: [mysterious] $29.99
titsay
yousharknotpass
janainaart
romaincrisis
areudirty
