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AnasAbdin

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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Claire Keane
Today's Document

if i look back, i am lost

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Acquired Stardust
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@froggados
immediately after an interaction: i have GOT to get more normal oh god i need to get more normal immediately i have to get more normal or they're going to hunt me down they're going to hunt me down and flay me for sport
during an interaction: and why not put a little spin on it? why not add some conversational zest?
"average citizen of the warhammer universe has hella PTSD" factoid actualy just statistical error. average citizen doesn't live long enough to have PTSD. Lord Commander Luis Dante, who has all the PTSD and is not allowed to die, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
What having two balding inducing medias to mf - Guilliman in Hades style!
As I remind everyone of
Horus Lupercal's canonical breeding kink
once more, I would like to add that this is why you should read the books. I cannot emphasize enough the amount of insane shit that gets casually slipped into 40k books on a regular basis. I have seen Ferrus Manus freeball in goddamn power armor. I have watched assorted primarchs chase Konrad Curze around Macragge like Wile. E. Coyote chases the Roadrunner. One of my favorite passages features a group of Ultramarines pause in the middle of a T'au weapons testing course to argue over helmets. I have not read the book, but I know for a fact that there's a book out there where an ork debates gender with humans, I have read the fucking excerpt. 40k books are amazing.
For the curious afaik the books (with authors when I can remember them)are:
Fulgrim, by Graham McNeil (who has many such instances)
The Unremembered Empire, by Dan Abnett (I think) + technically a few books before and after?
While I can't remember the book, it's the one set in Damocles Gulf
Ghazkull Thraka, Prophet of the Waaaagh!
Blades of Damocles for the third one. Yes, you got all of them right!
Other highlights from the books/short stories that I’ve read:
Cato Sicarius storming straight from the medicar tank to the armory…without ever getting dressed
Black Templar catches his human buddy post-sex, proceeds to mercilessly roast him
Roboute Guilliman: emotional support primarch
”This is fine.”
Flaying as a metaphor for queerness…and it’s done so well that you’ll be cheering on the bloodbath by the end
”Ypu got us box seats to a coup.”
Lelith Hesperax outfucks an entire Commoraghan brothel
More novel hilarity:
A steamy Imperial romance novel titled: "My Wish to Generate Children with You is Only Exceeded by My Devotion to Him" (it's set on "the paradise world of Krieg") (Carrion Throne).
Dark Angel apothecary helps deliver a baby, then freaks out about holding the baby and hurriedly pushes it at the company's Librarian, who is used to dealing with unnatural things like daemons and by extension infants (Eye of Ezekiel).
The secret code to the Emperor's genetic laboratory where the primarchs were created is 'shave and a haircut, two bits' (Deliverance Lost).
Contrary to popular belief, ork vehicles do have brakes: when you step on the brake pedal, it pushes a stick against the ground (Ghostmaker).
“I haven’t lost an arm, brother. It’s right over there." (Rynn's World)
The Ultramarines' warcry is: "We march for Macragge!" In zero gravity, one changed it to "We float for Macragge" (Pharos).
'Arbitrator Foreboding' is a popular fictional holo-character in Imperial media; he fight criminals, heretics and mutants with a very big gun (and is of course inspired by Judge Dredd) (The Traitor's Hand).
Space Marines in power armour, particularly Terminators, are so heavy they'll occasionally fall through a weak floor (you haven't heard an Astartes curse until that happens) (Master of Sanctity).
Konrad Curze taking great care to counter the built-in teleporter of Vulkan's thunderhammer, Dawnbringer, to prevent Vulkan's escape. Konrad just forgot one thing... "It's also a hammer." Promptly gets smacked in the face.
Three Space Wolves go on a pub crawl on Holy Terra, end up in a bar fight hitting their attackers with ale tankards, turkey drumsticks, and a roast pork, and then run away from the arbites so they won't shame their Chapter by getting arrested for drunken brawling (Wolfblade).
konrad in imperium secundus is just non-stop yakety sax
Don't leave this in the tags.
This is improving my evening immensely
i feel like the reason i like the chaos marines so much more than the Imperium when it comes to storytelling is that they're not afraid to play the "incredibly evil" bit straight. Sure, the Imperium is incredibly evil, but it's been sanitized so that people may have a 'good guy' to root for. However, I feel like the Traitors are so much more interesting because they ARE evil as shit, don't pretend they're not or that what they're doing is justified, and can still tell engaging stories. Let me use the Night Lords trilogy as an example, since it's peak fiction and everyone should read it, and because it illustrates my point pretty well. Spoilers down below for all three books.
As we know, the Night Lords trilogy follows a company of bloody killers and their human slaves. Already from the get-go you see just how 'kind' they are when Talos dispassionately assigns all his human property a number rather than a given name. For the first book, besides his POV, we see that of Septimus, someone who is already well acquainted with the toils of coexisting with the Night Lords, and Eurydice/Octavia, who basically gets stockholmed throughout the trilogy into liking the people who would shoot her were it not for the the fact that they need her. ABD presents a very interesting premise as we're given a look into just how pitiless and cruel the warband is, before making us follow them through their trials and tribulations, explaining their plights in ways that, though not relatable, are understandable to the reader.
Talos Valcoran is as much a victim of the setting as he is a perpetrator, having been stripped of all identity and purpose beyond a killing machine for a master that is now long dead. He has many moments showing him bonding with his captives and presenting him as almost a noble savage, who then turns around to performs acts of mindless, senseless violence. Probably one of my favorite scenes in the entire trilogy is the part where he forces a pregnant Octavia to murder scores of astropaths with her third eye, an activity we know is incredibly taxing for her both physically and mentally. There's not even a convenient 'ends justify the means' excuse ready to handwave why this obscene act had to happen - Talos' explicit goal was to perform as much suffering as he could and he did this with no regard to Octavia's will nor agency in the matter whatsoever. I don't think it's any coincidence that the first half of Void Stalker isn't a high-stakes raid on a prison or a fun adventure through a pirate port, but a bloody, senseless and petty campaign of mass murder upon a city for the great crime of settling a planet the Night Lords had abandoned ten thousand years earlier. For all his talk of a greater purpose, Talos exemplified the Night Lords in that moment: picking on those weaker than him with no remorse and delighting on the cruelty he was inflicting, all out of spite for a dying establishment that wasn't even looking his way. Talos' greatest moment was relatively insignificant in the grand scheme of things: the Imperium is just too bloated to notice or care about one part of the galaxy going dark for a while, and any disrupted commercial or military lanes would have hardly affected the carrion empire anyway. The pointlessness of everything in the trilogy is probably one of its strongest aspects, and the protagonist's moment of glory is met only with horror by the audience.
Other characters exemplify these attributes very well: Cyrion, the wise-cracking, friendly, affable Night Lord that gave a weapon for a slave to defend herself is revealed at the tail-end of the series to have been a sadistic tormentor who pinned his deeds on an unstable brother, knowing he'd get away with it. Mercutian, the eloquent philosopher who often mused upon the state of his Legion, nonchalantly mentions to a man dying from a heart attack that it's a shame he won't get to experience the sensation of being flayed alive. Perhaps the only truly 'decent' member of the Legion was Malcharion, who spent his last remaining moments protecting someone lesser than him just because he wished to perform one good deed before his inevitable demise.
I could keep going on and on, but the point is that the Night Lords don't have to appeal to any sort of morality or righteousness to be some of the most beloved characters in the setting. In a way, their self-awareness about how shitty they are IS what makes them endearing. Although I disagree that 40k is some sort of fascist apologia, I feel like more often than not some factions (COUGH COUGH THE IMPERIUM) are portrayed almost heroically, with their more undesirable elements obscured or brushed aside. And sure, they can have those aspects! But always in spite of themselves, not because of it.
we all love tarik torgaddon for his lightheartedness and humor but can we appreciate his badass dressing-down of that idiot eidolon for a second?
you know it's serious when tarik is being a bitch and pulling rank
tarik out ✌🏻
giant redwood trees really are so cool, they just have something incredibly special going on. it's hard to describe if you haven't seen them
a certain je ne sequoia, if you will
do the right thing horus, kill your father and you will be reincarnated as a beautiful lotus flower
having Big E as a favourite character sounds like it should be a red flag, and maybe to some it is. but god i am just. extremely enchanted by this specific archetype of. "corrupted messiah" / tyrant that takes it upon themselves to steward their charges, through any means necessary.
like i am 100% absolutely certain that he is motivated by a deep, fundamental love for Humanity, as a whole. Love for their capacity for brilliance, love for their capacity for beauty and knowledge. a significant chunk of the Imperial Palace is a repository of Humanity's entire history, ranging from priceless works of art, to milestones of human achievement over the ages. The Palace ITSELF is a monument to what Humanity can offer, a vast mix to showcase architectural styles over the ages. The Emperor LOVES them, he HOARDS these things. He considers them precious and priceless.
he is also fundamentally Outside of humanity. he stands Apart, and, ultimately, Above them all. He may love them deeply, as a whole, but he has no trust in them whatsoever. No trust in their free will to be capable of forging a path in the Galaxy for themselves without tumbling into total annihilation.
And to him, tyranny is the only answer. He knows it best for them. He can guide them into a future worth living in. Stamping out the dissenters, the rebels, it matters not - he is doing this for the Greater Whole, after all.
Like, i love this. i LOVE this. the sheer HUBRIS. I am aware he is more often a plot device rather than a character, but there IS a very peculiar sort of character sitting in there.
[Khârn Beating Erebus Within An Inch Of His Life ASMR (10 Hours NO LOOP) | Calming Ambience For Mental Health and Healing]
Ferrus Manus
"average imperial citizen eats 3 psykers a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average citizen eats 0 psykers per year. God Emperors Georg, beloved by all, who lives on the golden throne & eats 1,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
Despite Sanguinius' foresight, his visions weren't specific on which Horus he would be meeting. The borrowed cloak and pelt masked the scent, too.
Dont think about it too hard, its cute.
I haven't kept up on Eldar Lore so my last understanding is that the Eldar fucked so hard that they created Slaanesh, but I have to wonder what the catalyst was that sent the progress bar from 99 to 100%. Probably was someone shoving bad things in holes or someone inventing a new fetish
Ah yes, the r/Grimdank understanding of how Slaanesh was created. Marvellous.
No, they did not "fuck so hard" they created Slaanesh. There were absolutely pleasure cults and orgies, sure, but Slaanesh is not simply a god of lust. Slaanesh is a god of excess. Perfectionism. Hedonism. Desire.
Aeldari were killing themselves just for the novelty of reincarnating. They were automating and overcoming anything that inhibited their ability to recreate via psykery and technology. They were moving stars around, condemning "lesser" worlds on whim. They were pushing the limits of perception just to see what it was like. They made art of such intricacy and beauty that it is literally unsurpassed. They created planets with perfect weather and then terraformed them, just so they could chill on them and do whatever they felt like. They used constructs and psychic powers to wage wars while they relaxed and made merry. They murdered each other in increasingly creative, vicious ways, because death had no consequence and inventive violence was new and appealing. They slid into every form of self expression, recreation and pleasure imaginable, dialed up to eleven, at which point their legal and social systems began to break down utterly and their souls started to become damaged. THAT was the tipping point that heralded the birth of Slaanesh.
Anyway, the 99-100 point wasn't even that crazy. A guy slapped a harlequin on the ass during one of their performances. No one had been brave enough to do that before, so it had never conceptually existed. The act caused the warp to implode like a torpedoed submarine, and now the Aeldari are all sad. Just a single moment of indiscretion and a checkered posterior, crazy.