i think there is a phenomenon where sometimes a trans person will go “hmm. i am treated as a man when it is convenient for others, and a woman when it is convenient for others, and often as a freakish third thing excluded from the advantages of both. surely, because of the gender binary, the Other Type of trans person experiences the opposite: they reap the benefits of maleness and femaleness at once.” like babes no they can do it twice
This applies to a bunch of other subgroups of the queer community too. Asexuals are made to feel like freaks for not being sexual enough by the same society that makes everyone else feel like freaks for being too sexual. Lesbians feel pressured to be bi even while bi women feel like they'd be more accepted if they were lesbian. Butches, femmes, and wlw who are neither are all made to feel like they're doing it wrong. PLUS unique facets of shittiness for every shade of non binary PLUS different attitudes towards mlm and wlw PLUS divisions within mlm spaces etc etc etc. And these frictions and differing needs and experiences are absolutely worth discussing, but every time we decide the problem is just that Those Other Queers have it easy we are making the actual problem worse.
Hilariously, it also happens within the asexual community as a function of even smaller identity microcosms; I grew up watching waves of this crash back and forth on AVEN back in the day.
Babes. They can always do it twice.




















