Playwritten

Just a blog chronicling the life and musings of a NYC-based writer and actor attempting to start her professional career.

[vitoriabas]

Hamlet

[the-mad-prince-of-denmark]

“Oh, the things I have seen, you cocksucker. You have no idea.”

-Hamlet, to no one in particular

[capturetheatre]

[thoughts-of-a-stagemanager]

Sharing this with you all because every time I see these they take my breath away. Theatre is so beautiful. I feel like as Stage Managers we work so hard to help create that beauty, so these images are for all the Stage Managers who help make theatre beautiful <3

[onstagesport]

When an actor finally says a line right that you’ve been giving him a line note about for a week

[stagemanagerssaygo]

Explaining to a date what my job entails

And then he says, “But can’t the director and the actors do all that themselves?”

[likeniobe]

the most important thing to know about the plot of hamlet is that it’s so convoluted that the main character is kidnapped by pirates and it’s not even really a major plot point

[likeniobe]

[stardustch0rds-deactivated20210]

[mage-stanager]

Actor: *skips a page of dialogue*

Mage Stanager: This is so sad. Alexa, skip to LQ 70.

Actor: *calls for line after the no more calling for line date*

Mage Stanager: This is so sad. Alexa, play “Remember Me.”

Actor: *Struggling to find their spot light.*

Mage Stanager: This is so sad. Alexa, play “And At Last I See The Light.”

Theatre Person: *complains about having to come in 15 minutes early to rehearsal*

Mage Stanager: This is so sad. Alexa, play “It’s A Hardknock Life.”

[cymaticsound]

[stagefoot]

Costume designer:

[stagefoot]

Me: clears 1 (one) square inch of space in the theater

Every other department:

[stagemanagerssaygo]

A prop breaks at the end of the first performance on a two-show day

[stage-managed]

It’s uh…. It’s theatre safe.

Is that safe?

[auditionwtf-blog]

Hey, don’t even worry about it- it’s not like we put OUR OWN FUCKING BLOOD SWEAT & TEARS into the lighting design or anything…

[biasinboy-deactivated20220427]

first week of rehearsals vs. last week of rehearsals

first week

no one knows their lines

you don’t really know anyone in the cast

the director seems nice!

director accidentally swears once and profusely apologizes 

everyone waxes poetic about how much they love theater

you’ve never seen the stage manager and you have no clue who they are

last week

still no one knows their lines, but everyone knows each other’s and quotes them incessantly

you know people’s deepest vulnerabilities, but you’re honestly not too sure of their last names

the director has made at least one person cry

director and actors swear freely at each other; director gives swears as line notes

everyone talks about how much they hate theater, with grim passion and commitment in their eyes

the stage manager knows so much about you and your life patterns that they could wait until the minute you fall asleep, let themself into your house, bribe your dog with its favorite treats, and kill you

[astagecrewlife-deactivated20190]

Things all techies understand on some level

- 99% sure this is illegal

- I mean I started with a plan and now here we are but..

- Yes I totally did that *rushes away to do that*

- *scoff* of course I know what I’m doing

- Meh, good enough

- 20 FOOT RULE ™

- Don’t get paid enough for this shit

- What’s wrong? Actors.

- Hide the pizza

- Okay who broke ______?

- Put the power tool down pUT THE POWER TOOL DOWN GIVE. IT. TO. ME!

- Okay so who has the most experience out of us inexperienced people

- Finding the right keys should be an Olympic event

- *Has to test 20 keys to find the right one* *Too lazy to label the keys*

- NightVision ™

- Why the fuck is this actor here 20 minutes early go awayyyyyyyy

- Why does this look worse than before? Actors.

- Why are these mics all dead? Actors.

- Why did this new light blow out so soon? Actors.

- Why- Actors

- Actors ™

[stagemanagerssaygo]

When the scene shop gets passive aggressive