🪦⛓

[pathologising]

wish i was cute and also not an absolute fucking idiot

[fttitv]

breakfastless behavior

[the-real-skeletor]

I have the biggest dick in 40 square miles

[nsomniacsdream]

39

[nsomniacsdream]

38

[nsomniacsdream]

37

[wickedwonderlandd]

[egberts]

[leolaroot]

[squeakitties]

THATS it. NO wet food for a MONTH

[squeakitties]

[southwestadventures]

[demadogs]

stranger things 4 art by butcher billy

[frowntowncentralstation]

Being alive is definitely exhausting when you’re dating a narcissistic sociopath

[orangedcaramel]

[axaphoto]

[peeingwithmypenis-deactivated20]

I’ve had enough btw

[yo-its-matt]

Babygirl I’m popping joints that paleontologists don’t even know about

[yo-its-matt]

No, fuck. Chiropractors

[chippyyyz]

Yo mama so old her chiropractor is a paleontologist

[cowboydeanwinchester]

will never forget when i worked in a fast food joint. some customer wrote like “86 cherries” on their mobile order, as like a pretentious way of say no cherries, but the store was run by a bunch of high schoolers who are working their first job so they collectively went “why the fuck does this guy want 86 fucking cherries” and like piled them onto his milkshake

[cowboydeanwinchester]

so when i made this i didn’t expect ANY notes so i feel like an asshole now for not explaining. so incase you check the notes, 86 in restaurant terms means “unavailable or out of stock” but has kinda morphed into “omit” or “leave out”. but none of us had worked in a restaurant before, also why would you not just say “no cherries” it’s the same amount of characters to type

[charaah]

Man ordering food: I work in the restaurant business ;)

Children working at restaurant: this guy must really like cherries. Got something in your eye there sir

[normal-horoscopes]

There is a small child in this cafe writhing and screaming with such violence and rage that they keep running out of breath and coughing. The source of her rage? Her mom asked her to eat a single grape.

[normal-horoscopes]

Mom, in a completely normal voice: "Sabrina it's okay you don't need to eat the grape."

Sabrina:

"AAAAAAUGHUNUUAH"

[headspace-hotel]

[weird-and-cursed-chickens]

[glass-delusion]

[snowdens]

[keremelcream]

richard siken, the worm king’s lullaby; from “war of foxes”