♡NO♡

any pronouns, switch it up

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[penny-anna]

oh god sudden thought

so as per various DC social media concepts Clark has a Superman twitter where he posts left-leaning but fairly safe & tame stuff e.g. happy pride from Superman. Clark Kent also has his own twitter account where he posts his actual opinion.

what happens if uh. what happens if he forgets which account he's logged into.

[penny-anna]

scenario 1: what's clearly an official Superman post pops up on some rando journalist's twitter and is noticed before he can delete it. leads to controversy when people conclude that Superman has hired this Clark Kent person to do his social media. Clark now has to deal w the fact that everyone thinks he's Superman's social media manager. employers at the Daily Planet very confused as to why he didn't tell them about his side gig

scenario 2: world wakes up to Superman tweeting about how he hates the police

[the-legal-shipper]

Scenario 2: “world wakes up to Superman tweeting about how he hates the police” and then the Shazam twitter account starts agreeing with him and that’s how the world finds out that two of the most powerful heros both hate the police

[penny-anna]

Billy, seeing what Superman just tweeted: oh cool we're allowed to say fuck the police now!!

[offonaherosjourney]

Someone tweets if Bruce Wayne pays taxes, and Bruce accidentally replies with his Batman account with a simple "Yes", so people start to think that besides beating up villains, Batman also spends his time staring menacingly at billionaires while they fill their taxes to make sure there's no creative accounting going on

[nightblackowlbat]

BruceWayneOfficial: yes, the rumors are true. Batman is my accountant.

[f0restnympho420]

life is nothing without eroticism and whimsy

[tha-star]

Jon: I think it got to the point where I had to introduce Damian as my boyfriend to my friends.

Kon: Oh, why do you think that? You told me that you two had decided to tell them little by little.

Jon: Well... judging by the gifts he's been giving me, like delivering flowers to my work at least every week, new clothes, fancy watches, trying to give me a new cell phone after seeing the cracked screen protector on mine... My friends are convinced I'm dating an old man and he's my sugar daddy!

Kon: Oh! It's a really complicated situation, but... that would only solve one of those problems, Jon.

Jon: What do you mean?

*Kon answers a call*

Bart: Hey, Tim's boy toy—

*Kon hangs up*

Jon: ...

Kon: ...

Jon: ...

Kon: At least they'll know you're not dating an old man.

[urbys-derg-blog]

snout on your lap. licking your hand a lil bit. Belly facing you for easy access. pet your dragon

[mutedteeth]

Sleep deprived little dragon who gets affectionate and sweet and licking you. Licking you. Licking you. -vv-

[debian-official]

reblog to boop prev with your paw

[franchaelagifs]

MASALI BADUZA as Michaela Stirling BRIDGERTON | 4.05 Yes or No

♡ requested by anonymous ♡

[jame7t]

tumblr is like an abandoned space station & you all are the thing in the vents

[enki2]

[lexandwich-the-great]

Headcanon that when someone gets injured during a fight, (the clearly underaged) Robin at the time sometimes run into the nearest convenience store and buys vodka to clean the wound~

Imagine.......When Dick is Robin, he gets into a fight with a group of gangsters, and a civilian gets injured. Panicking, Dick runs into the nearest convenience store, looking for something to clean the wound with. Naturally, the workers are very confused as to why a little boy in a brightly coloured costume is attempting to buy a bottle of vodka. They eventually sell it to him on the grounds of "Batman would probably beat us into a pulp if we said no."

Over the years, this happens several more times, even continuing whenever there's a new Robin. Convenience store workers in Gotham have gotten so used to brightly coloured children coming in and purchasing alcohol that when a new person starts working at one of the stores, no one even thinks to explain what the hell is going on.

---

Store Manager: —and last but not least, remember to ask for an ID before selling alcohol to anyone who might be underage.

New Employee: understood.

Robin: *enters, in full costume and covered in blood. walks to the back on the store, before returning and placing a bottle of vodka on the counter with a thud*

Store Manager: *immediately begins ringing him up*

Store Manager, smiling: that'll be $20.

Robin: *hands over the money and leaves with his bottle of vodka*

New Employee: ...

New Employee: ......

New Employee: ........that was a child. That was a child in a Halloween costume. You just sold alcohol to a child in a Halloween costume.

Store Manager: oh yeah, that's Robin. We don't actually know how old he is.

[napp861]

Yo…this is my first post on tumblr.. but here’s the Damian Wayne and he’s little precious kitty Alfred that I drew today!! 💞😼 ( you have no idea how many times I erased Damian’s face over and over again 💀)

[draizetrain]

i think when u clean your house it should stay clean forever. what do u mean i have to do it again

[sweaterkittensahoy]

shout out to everyone who has any sort of maintenance job whether it's a custodian or a mechanic or a furnace repair person or a pool cleaner or a housekeeper or anything where someone shows up or I go to you, and my shit is taken care of.

big appreciation for the maintenance people

[yujateaandpi]

Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.

Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.

[valtsv]

"missed all of your vital organs" is such a scathing injury report if that happened to me i would never let the person who maimed me live it down. you had a 1 in 7 chance and more than 50% of my body's surface area to target and you fucking blew it. cope and seethe over my unperforated heart, lungs, brain, liver, kidneys, pancreas, small intestine and large intestine you fucking idiot. you incompetent fool.

[hotvampireadjacent]