Najah

22 | Najah (نجاح) | Iraqi | autistic n mentally ill | vocal synth producer | they/them/هو | taken 💜💜 | icon: @kirkkeone

[fruitsofzaqqum]

intro post intro post intro post intro post!!!

helloo! my name is najah, i'm a 22 year old iraqi immigrant and synthv producer :) my pronouns r they/them!!

some things to know byf: -> i'm an adult and will probably be discussing adult subjects (i won't be posting NSFW but jokes abt it will probably take place) -> i'm mentally ill and will probably be discussing mentally ill subjects (i've been diagnosed with OCD, ADHD, PTSD, MDD, and DID. i also experience psychosis. i also am autistic but personally don't wanna seek out a diagnosis for that so take that as u will). i will NOT be using this account to vent -> i blog mostly just abt my favorite media so don't expect me to actually be super active on here -> i'm not good at tagging things like i don't have ANY sort of a tagging system. lmk if u need anything tagged -> i'll add more if i feel like it DNI list: -> minors ur on thin ice. i'll consider this acc 16+ but if i feel uncomfortable for any reason i'll probably block -> TERFs / SWERFs / radfems / ANY variation of the above plz don't follow me. and also you will begin to cough in 7 days -> zionists and/or republicans i will cast an ancient Mesopotamian curse on u -> discourse blogs of any sort -> kink blogs of any sort -> ED or S/H blogs go explode -> i'll add more if i feel like it

Interests: -> Vocaloid and Synthv -> Moonknight -> FMA:B -> Qualia Automata -> Breaking Bad -> Frankenstein -> TPTM -> Pokemon -> i like horror movies and novels and any kind of disturbing media!! -> i'll add more if i feel like it And here's my carrd #mycarrd https://camovocaaa.carrd.co/

[fruitsofzaqqum]

Last one from me for a little!! Sorry if there’s been a lot of QA asks 😭

So the other cool person who was talking about their oc x canon reminded me of something. I’ve been super secretly self inserting into QA for a few years now because I see Tamari and Mariyam as siblings! So my question is what’re they like as siblings? Sadly we didn’t really get to see what they’re like with each other outside of EWN (and ur fic!)

i think they would care a lot abt each other!! mariyam as a character has a very strong moral compass, one that she sticks to regardless of the consequences she could personally entail. That's part of the reason she broke away from Fayrouz and risked everything to help out Tamari; it would've been easy to ignore him, as Fayrouz would've wanted her to do, but doing what's easy isn't the same thing as doing what's right tamari, on the other hand, would feel very grateful for her intervention when he was at his lowest and worst, even though he hadn't been very kind to her in-turn. i think he'd feel guilty for everything he dragged her into, for putting her in the position to make that choice in the first place, so he'd try to compensate for it going forward by being extra extra extra nice to her LOL i know a lot of sibling relationships are characterized as playfully antagonistic bc, yeah, that's just what growing up with someone does to you. but considering neither tamari nor mariyam ever got to 'grow up' with one another, i think the nature of their dynamic would be a lot more tactful and sensitive. they were both victims of Fayrouz's abuse, just in different ways, and naturally, they bond over that with one another that being said, I think they both would get along well with one another outside of all the trauma. Tamari would buy gifts from all over the world for Mariyam, and Mariyam would remember important dates and anniversaries and stuff when he'd inevitably forget. Tamari would take Mariyam to an aquarium with a sea turtle encounter for her birthday, and Mariyam would thank him by buying him new gundams for him to build. Tamari goes on stream and Mariyam sticks around for the whole thing even if he doesn't get any other viewers. Mariyam vents to Tamari abt stress from her job and Tamari listens to her and offers his own support / perspectives regarding any issues. Tamari's very emotional and sensitive, Mariyam is very compassionate and sentimental. They balance each other out pretty well that way :)

[fruitsofzaqqum]

How do you think Tamari and Mariyam feel about being androids? (We obviously get some idea but I mean more in depth if you want to go into that!)

QA as a whole is a story about humanity and what it means to be human. Tamari's whole thing is that he hates who he is, why he was created, and the circumstances that created him. Tamari's concept of being human is to be loved, and because he feels as though he isn't loved, that means then that he cannot be human (and vice versa).

Mariyam, on the other hand, I feel, is more secure in her humanity. Sure she may not be of flesh and blood like everyone else, but that doesn't stop the emotions she experiences and actions she takes from being real and having a real impact on the world around her. She resents the way she was coded by Fayrouz to be made easily-manipulatable, but she doesn't resent the nature of her existence as an android. To her, being an android is a completely neutral facet of her being, with it's own pros and cons, like everything else.

[fruitsofzaqqum]

hi!! i have something to share...so i've had an oc x canon with tamari ever since RBB came out haha😭 i've been writing and drawing about it ever since, but only shared it with friends. ever since 2023 QA still has a soft spot in my heart so i was wondering if i could publicly post and/or talk about my oc x canon?? thank you!

Yeah ofc!! U don't need to get my permission for stuff like that, ppl can do whatever they want with QA. Yes I know what that entails but trying to control what ppl do with ur creative property on the internet is like trying to nail jello to a tree

I've always been of the mind that once u put something out into the world, it stops belonging just to u, rather it becomes property of the larger internet. if I wasn't ok with that, I wouldn't have posted abt it.

[machineidnull]

A reminder to this fandom that QA isn't just Ghost's and never was just Ghost's.

You don't need to feel bad for still enjoying QA, it's not Ghost's story anymore.

Go read Axons and Dendrites and the Synapses Between Them. It's not complete yet but it's a much better conclusion to Qualia Automata than what part 4 was supposed to be (plus it is a lot more respectful to the story's original themes and the characters in general) I consider it canon personally because Carbon very much was one of the most passionate + influential people on the original iteration of QA. Go support Carbon. Outside of this they are genuinely an amazing writer and lyricist imo.

[fruitsofzaqqum]

Which TPTM songs do you think the QA characters would relate to?

Fayrouz - Caliber Girl

Mariyam - Refraction Girl

Tamari - Irreverant Girl maybe? I'm not too sure actually in his case

Rafid - Faineant Girl

[c0nji]

[fruitsofzaqqum]

Have you listened to Chonny jash…specifically chonnys charming chaos compendium because I think you would like it!! Very interesting story

i've never heard of this person b4!! thanks 4 the recommendation :]

[fruitsofzaqqum]

Ok so I’ve been wondering about this for a while. I’m not sure who it was but someone asked someone who had been working on Qualia Automata why Fayrouz chose to make Tamari and Mariyam therapy robots, and the answer was basically “without spoilers, it was the best available option.” Do you know what that means?

I'm not 100% sure what the person who'd answered that ask meant, I'm assuming this would've been back in 2023, and my memory of that time period is absolutely awful. My answer to this question isn't meant to speak for that specific person, it'll just be my recollected, biased perspective. Fayrouz chose to make Tamari and Mariyam therapy robots as a way to prove she was a 'good person'. Her husband left her for her abuse, tactlessness, and overall coldness regarding emotions and sensitivity. To Fayrouz, this wasn't about the fact she had hurt someone, but about the fact that she was inadequate, or 'imperfect'. She sought to make up for these deficits in her character in the only way she knew how, through robotics. The main principle behind Fayrouz is that everything she's had to do to survive, everything that made her a brilliant scientist, was also what made her horrible at maintaining meaningful bonds or relationships. She isn't innately evil, she isn't beyond redemption or undeserving of love, but the way she experiences reality is fundamentally incompatible with the way her society operates.

[fruitsofzaqqum]

If Tamari could use magic, what kind would it be? If he uses elemental magic, which element would he control? (aside from like. space-time and all that)

HMMM if he used magic I think it'd be cool to give him some sorta time-warping ability. Maybe just being able to go back 5-10 seconds; kind of symbolizes the way he gets caught in loops of reliving his own most traumatic moments but never being able to do anything useful with the emotions he re-lives.

If he had elemental magic I think he would control electricity!! And Mariyam would control water :) both can be deadly to robots...

[fruitsofzaqqum]

HELLOOOOO I am the associate who was too afraid to ask LMAO. I just really like Qualia Automata and have so many questions but I won’t dump them all on you 😭

Do you have any personal headcanons for them all? (likes and dislikes, stuff like that!) I saw a while back the pages for the characters were supposed to be revised but never were

HI!!! yes I do I have a couple :D

Tamari: His favorite book is the original Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. He's really good at math without having to use a calculator or the internet and loves calculus the most. He makes travel vlogs and food tours from around the world but they barely crack double digit views

Mariyam: She's good with kids and animals, they intrinsically trust her (even if she doesn't really like kids). If she wasn't built to be a therapy robot, she would've been a science educator or a tour guide at an aquarium. She keeps every little thing she's ever been gifted, even if it was just a rock off the ground, she has a special place for it

Fayrouz: When she was very little, she thought that cats and dogs were the same species of animals, but that cats were the "girls" and dogs were the "boys". Her favorite comfort food is a sandwich made of pita bread, tomato, cucumber, and mint leaves. She's made one(1) reddit post abt her marriage on r/AITA and got so thoroughly demolished that she deleted her account

Rafid: He's really good at art history and analysis but is too worried abt appearing pretentious to express it. He watched baby shows (think Dora or Oobi) up until he was 14 years old. His favorite animal is the chameleon

[fruitsofzaqqum]

hi. are we allowed to ask about qualia automata? I come bearing this question from a close associate who wishes not to be named. thank you!

Sure thing hit me :]

[fruitsofzaqqum]

hey guys how would we feel if i posted the finale to axons and dendrites and the synapses between them on the 4th of july

[blumothy]

pink thing

[thatoneratty]

been sketching them a little

[segamascott]

[fruitsofzaqqum]

BTW I love the fic and your work in general QA has been a huge comfort for me since 2023 and I was so unfathomably excited to see you go into Rafid’s character I’ve been waiting for this for actual ages

THANK U THANK U THANK UUUU qualia automata means the WORLD to me so being able to expand on the characters a bit more in the format of a short story has been an absolute JOY