[blueboyluca]

Bob Ross gets it.

[mayhemofsalem]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[howthotfulofu]

This shit is still funny af 💀

[abedsnerdir]

this show really didn’t miss one beat

[lesbian-toddhoward]

[myqueerdear]

Tommy Wiseau: Hi this is Tommy Whyzoo creator of the roomlet me introdeuce the NEW  CHJOKER! AAAIEAAAAAAAAHH-

[jumex]

I’m living for love. Loves gonna lift me up

[lyingfigure]

[neckkiss]

“'Le Mépris “

[fatjovan-deactivated20131125]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[lorem64]

I’m so confused why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella??? What parent told him this. There’s no chicken in there!

[ankaa-avarshina]

Two words: Raw eggs.

[lorem64]

?? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anyway unsafe

[ankaa-avarshina]

Don’t ask me, ask them Americans. I’m an Asian just passing the word on

[phantoms-lair]

*deep breath* Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry samonella.

MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you don’t mind making your own cookie dough, you can easily make it safely.

Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold the cookie together. Since we’re eating the dough raw, that’s not needed. Take the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead.

Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough.

[crayyola-deactivated20220827]

Thank u so fucking much for this wisdom

[antique-scarecrow]

wait you’re telling my i can get E, Coli just FROM EATING FLOUR straight from the bag???

[kingantlion-deactivated20231130]

Why..why are you eating flour straight from the bag?

[saltrat88]

[shitter]

only national anthem you’ll catch me standing up for

[boopsandswoops]

@lotsandlotsofbirds

[girlnumbersix]

ladies we need to start frantically and obsessively reading books in less than 24 hours again..remember how happy we were

[humansofnewyork]

“Halfway home I asked to stop for a drink. Then afterward I hopped in the backseat to read a book to my brother. And that’s what saved me. Because the wreck happened a few miles down the road. The entire front of our car was crushed. My first thought was my hands. I had a piano competition coming up, so I looked down at my hands. One of them started to crumble before my eyes. I was taken in an ambulance. My brother was taken in a helicopter. But Dad never regained consciousness. He lived such a big life. His name was Kash. He was an Olympic-caliber skier. He flew jets in the Air Force. But oh man, he was such a good dad. Whenever I was asked to name my best friend, I’d say my dad. That’s how close we were. He died too quickly to salvage his organs. But everything else was donated: his eyes, his tissues, his ligaments. We have a list of fifty people whose lives he changed. The only thing my Mom reserved was his bone. She doesn’t remember why, but she asked them to set aside some bone. I felt so angry after his death. But in that selfish, teenage way. My life had been so perfect. Now my dad was gone. And I couldn’t even play piano. Piano had been such a huge part of my identity. It was also my stress relief. But all the bones in my left hand were pulverized, and whenever I tried to play with my right, I’d just end up crying. I went through surgery after surgery. Hardware was put in, hardware was taken out, but nothing worked. Finally the doctors told me: ‘Your hand is dying, and the only thing left to try is a bone transplant.’ Only then did my mother remember my father’s bones. When we grafted his bone onto my wrist, the blood started to flow. My hand came back to life. And I could play again. Even now, seventeen years later, and with four kids of my own, piano is such a big part of my life. I play at church. And even though we have a shoebox of a house, we have a piano. In our living room we keep a photo album of my dad. We talk about him all the time: what he did, who he was. I hate that he never got to meet my kids, but they know him. They call him ‘Papa Kash.’ And we know Papa Kash is somewhere else right now. But he’s also very alive in this house.”

[stilllifequickheart]

Giovanna Garzoni

A Bitch

1648

[avant-sad]

um, rude? let her enjoy her snack in peace

[godblessozzyosbourne]

[ohmygoshbabyanimals]