Oh, my enemies may sing / Of the joys of being King…
I’m still not hugely familiar with The Gondoliers, but this song got itself stuck in my head and I felt another Henry VI parody coming on. So here’s Henry’s account of most of what happens to him in Part II… as a G&S patter song. Someone stop me before I create an entire “What If Gilbert & Sullivan Wrote Shakespeare’s History Plays?” parody operetta.
KING HENRY
Rising early in the morning,
In an apprehensive mood,
My thoughts full of dire warning:
How will this new day conclude?
I embark without delay
On a most… eventful day.
This began a pleasant outing,
With our falcons and no shouting,
But my squabbling court are all at odds again,
Like a sunny April morning
That transforms with little warning
To a darkened sky and floods of chilly rain.
Buckingham brings news that makes this bad day worse:
Apprehension of some sorcerers mid-curse,
With intent to do me harm. And what is more,
They were led by my dear auntie Eleanor!
So I have to have her banished.
But the scandal hasn’t vanished:
There’s an uproar and my uncle’s forced to step down in disgrace
From his role as Lord Protector.
I already fear the specter
Of some national emergency I’m unprepared to face.
My authority is tested
And my uncle is arrested
‘Midst a flood of accusations I am helpless to prevent.
Come on, Henry, chill a minute!
Hold a trial; he will win it!
For I’m sure my uncle Humphrey is completely innocent.
Oh, philosophers may sing
Of the joys of being King;
But it’s really very stressful when your court won’t get along.
No-one tells me what they’re doing
But I know there’s trouble brewing
And I have this dreadful feeling something’s very, very wrong.
I announce my uncle’s trial.
He’s been murdered?! Full denial
Of wrongdoing from his rivals in the court.
Warwick says it’s Suffolk’s doing,
So he’s banished. ‘Midst ensuing
Chaos, comes a servant with a grim report:
Beaufort’s gravely ill and soon will be a corse –
He dies feverish and haunted by remorse.
Then a messenger arrives with Suffolk’s head –
Pirates captured him and now he, too, is dead.
More bad news: now London’s falling
To a rebel leader calling
Himself “Mortimer”. (He’s really just a tailor named Jack Cade.)
Meg and I must flee the palace
To escape his vicious malice…
Wait – the Commons have switched sides again and Cade has been betrayed.
Crisis solved? While we’re still reeling,
I’ve another awful feeling,
Like a ship that ‘scapes a storm, then meets a vicious pirate threat.
Suddenly – approaching horses:
York’s returned with mighty forces
Which he claims he’s only brought to rescue me from Somerset.
Oh, my enemies may sing
Of the joys of being King;
But it’s not a job I wanted, and I’d gladly yield my crown.
Oh, a shepherd’s plain existence
Is a path of less resistance
Than this treacherous position with its duties and renown.
2087
prguitarman
dailybridgerton
theartofmadeline
vaporwave
janainaart
andulkaphoto
izzy806
