Avocado at law

Tales of a Gootsy Ninja

[garbage-empress]

[jesus-lizard-journal]

“do you fucking mind” 

[grimeclown]

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

[parakeet]

[crocophile-deactivated20190326]

edgar allen poe’s famous short story, ‘bird tells me to fuck off in my own home’

[kosovan-deactivated20190108]

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

“struggle with depression” would almost seem to imply that i am bad at depression when i am, in fact, very proficient at being depressed 

[umbrella-formerly]

I hate when you’re like “wow nothing is exciting anymore” and someone pipes up like “it’s called growing up” actually deborah, it’s called major depressive disorder but thanks for your input

[silk101]

[mvcsvi-deactivated20170807]

odee

[goldnpoc]

I can’t believe girls really think this is cute and be like “lol same” like nah girl he ain’t da one

[blasianxbri]

I’d have to fight him. 

[ginmother]

Honestly I see this shit on Facebook all the time n girls r so excited like wtf? U rlly want that?? Disgusting.

[powerburial]

just realized you don’t need to say 6am or 6pm. we already know the m is there so just write like 6a or 6p. can’t believe no one figured this trick out before.

[signedsincerelymegan-blog]

or you could do the easy thing and say 0600 and 1800

[powerburial]

yeah like adding a bunch of unnecessary zeroes is easy. you piece of shit. you fucking coward

[surprisebitch]

6p means 6 pence. that shit wont work in the UK

[powerburial]

yeah but this is like for real people

[pagetbewbster]

[falsedetective]

thinkpiece: The Millenials have cultivated a nihilistic, absurdist brand of satirical humor as a response to a cultural environment where 

the traditional social order has collapsed into chaos because of rapid technological advancement, economic downturn, and endless war (much like the dadaists after WWI)

sincere admissions of despair are seen as somewhere between embarrassing and obnoxious and the only acceptable way to express negative emotion is by disguising it in witty, share-able quips

violence, sex, and profanity have become commonplace in the media and the only remaining frontier of shock value is absolute nonsense like “while you were having premarital sex i was dehydrating tangerines. While You Wasted Your Days At The Gym In Pursuit Of Vanity I Was In Hospital With Scurvy”

4. incredible loss of faith in institutions and capitalism mean that unstructured nonsense is much more appealing

[postllimit]

my college app essay was written on the premise of the first point !!

[comparingmeerkats]

when u cant afford quality name brand memes so u have to settle for

peep the toad 

[phantomrose96]

[dailyjojoba]

HUBRIS OF MAN

saturday shoutout @dailyjosephjoestar (;

[victorpopejr]

I guess it’s his w/ @alphaxalfa

[captioned-miscellaneous-videos]

[Cheerful music in background]

Both: [singing in unison] “This land is your land! This land is my land!”

White person: [interjecting; monotone] “This land is my land! This land is my land! This land is my land. This land is my land.”

[laughter]

[lesbianrey]

hi i’m tolkien here are my ocs. i call them Elves (not elfs!!! if you call them elfs i will block you) they look like humans but they’re tall, live forever, and have pointy ears. that’s it bye

[meattunic-deactivated20171126]

cs lewis: are you alright with constructive criticism? i dont want to sound mean

tolkien: no go ahead i want to hear it

cs lewis: they fucking suck

tolkien: thats not constructive criticism

[lazytechsupport]

cs lewis: here’s my OC, it’s jesus but he’s a lion tolkien: Furry cs lewis: blocked

[mysharona1987]