ok actually no Iām reblogging this because a) I am clean now (and I smell amazing, thank you), and b) I had a heckin Realize and I wanted to share it with yāall in the hopes itāll help someone else with a brain like mine.
I figured something out about myself a long time agoā itās only just now occurred to me that I was in fact solving a problem caused by executive dysfunction, and I havenāt been implementing this solution lately because my brain wentĀ āthatās a relatively new term to me and therefore a Different problem that requires a Different solutionā. thanks a lot, brain.
anyway, long long ago, before I knew these fancy schmancy Official words, the problem, as I phrased it to myself, was such:Ā
sometimes I get Stuck. I was doing something, or on my way to doing something, and then⦠I just. got stuck.
āStuckā looks like refreshing my feed or dashboard repeatedly. or it looks like staring at a spot on the wall. or chewing my fingernails. or picking at a stubborn sticker. all the while, my brain drifts through various unrelated topics I wouldnāt be able to recall if asked. sometimes I can get Stuck for hours before realizing I am Stuck. sometimes I get so Stuck that I go to bed that way (feeling especially bad for being unproductive) and I have to just reset everything by sleeping.
one day I asked myself, āwhy is this happening? why am I stuck, right now, at this moment in time?ā the answer, as it turns out, was pretty simple: I was trying to make a decision, and I got distracted. I havenāt moved forward because I havenāt answered that one question or made up my mind.
let me rephrase this in terms of executive dysfunction: many people have expressed that it feels like knowing you need to do a thing but not feelingĀ āreadyā to do it. many with ADHD may also be familiar with the feeling of needing things to beĀ ājust soā before you embark on a task- you need your setup to look a certain way, or you need to set a timer, or have the right music playing, etc.
when I get Stuck itās often because I got lost somewhere in that setting-up process, and my brain took the opportunity to nyoom off into Distraction Town.
getting myself Unstuck is solved, 95% of the time, by tracing my steps back to the original decision I was trying to make- often something small and inane- and then troubleshooting from there. (out loud! verbal processing is totally punk.)Ā
āwhat was I trying to do?āĀ
āwas I trying to decide between two things?āĀ
(the answerās usually yes.)Ā
āokay, letās decide.Ā
āokay, thatās settled. letās move on.ā
and then I am free as a bird to nyoom in the direction of The Thing I Wanted To Do All Along, in the amazingly disorganized, scattered, yet rapid-fire way that I do many things.
so!!! in the case of my first post, where I hadnāt showered for 2 hours? turns out I had beenĀ trying to decide what music to listen to in the shower. (another hack: my chances of getting Stuck while showering decrease by 75% if I have music playing to help me keep track of time.) I couldnāt immediately make up my mind, got lost in thought, got distracted, and drifted. once I stopped and asked- āwhy am I stuck?ā-Ā then I remembered-Ā āoh yeah! I wanted to listen to musicā-Ā and then decided-Ā āI want to listen to Daft Punkās DiscoveryĀ albumā- I was finally heckin able to shower. and also eat, and also throw my clothes in the dryer.
and may I add I only zoned out once, during the slow part ofĀ āOne More Time.ā :P
Iām not saying this is a foolproof method. sometimes I donātĀ have a reason for being stuck, and thatās okay! Iām also not saying this is how every adhd brain works. itās just how myĀ brain works, and Iām sure thereās at least a few who can relate. for those few, I hope this helps!!