Haley

[marxist-peach]

Make racists afraid again.

[gahdamnpunk]

This is so precious 😊

[36epm]

Shoutout to Percy Jackson for being a kids book that straight up murdered the abusive step dad instead of doing some bullshit redemption arc where they have to forgive him

[mcsqu1bb]

My autistic brother created a new family Christmas tradition

Okay, so last year, my mom bought this Christmas moose that she lovingly named Barry

This is him

Cute, right?

Well, for whatever reason only known to my brother, he decided that he wanted to put Barry in different rooms of our house and it usually scares the shit out of whomever happens upon Barry; usually the person who finds him is the person that my brother wanted to scare.

So far, Barry has been found

On our dining room table

On my dad's side of my parents' bed

In my parents' closet

Outside their bedroom door (at 5 in the morning and scared my mother shitless)

Near the kitchen door

Near my fucking bed

At the bottom of my sister's stairwell

In our bathroom

And down the hallway

This has gone on for 9 days and it doesn't seem to show signs of stopping. Most of the time we know who gets Barry because it's always followed with a very loud "FUCKING BARRY!!!!!"

My brother is the funniest fucking person I know.

[mcsqu1bb]

Update:

He found his way into my sister's room.

And my brother is cackling maniacally downstairs.

[mcsqu1bb]

Holy fuck this doll is creepy

[mcsqu1bb]

Another update:

The soft glow of the Christmas tree seems to quell his bloodlust

[thesaltofcarthage]

vote to replace the evil surveillance Elf on the Shelf with Barry the Chrismoose

[annethecatdetective]

Broke: Elf on the Shelf Woke: Moose on the Loose

[girljeremystrong]

And, oh, yeah, the President just got impeached.

BRIE LARSON as guest host on Jimmy Kimmel Live

[pleasedontsqueezetheshhh]

[tinyghosthands]

[catchymemes]

[urielrenlancaster]

Vending machine but it vends moss covered rocks, small opals, faux ivory brooches, mushrooms to plant, tiny sacks of dirt, seaglass, and gnome statues

[theweirdwideweb]

[wheeloffortune-design]

I used to work in a little market and we had to cut blocks of cheese in approximately 1lb cubes. To this day, 1lb = 1 block of feta cheese, in my head.

My gym trainer was talking about guys lifting up to 1000 lbs.

‘That’s a lot of cheese,’ I said.

‘What.’

[catlips001]

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and

[catlips001]

Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said

[ask-cloud-skipper]

you might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies

[onlytwitterpics]

[lafrancheckona]

me in the kitchen

[becughmitchell]

- Jake, I cannot believe you’re gonna lose Nana’s apartment. We grew up together. We used to hang out there every day after school.

[antique-scarecrow]

#this is how you actually SHOW the fact they grew up together   #and it feels aUTHENTIC

[spite-cadet]

[mjwrites666]

bonus because people don’t mention enough that Andy and Chelsea have known each other since they were kids

[tecnoperverso]

[the-absolute-best-gifs]

#the most iconic moment in mtv history

[coughloop]