Take a break, this cute tardigrade needs time to cross your dash:
I've never seen them walking before I love him
The Bowery Presents
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Andulka
Claire Keane
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr

tannertan36

pixel skylines
noise dept.
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izzy's playlists!
Fai_Ryy
Misplaced Lens Cap

oozey mess
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

bliss lane
NASA
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
occasionally subtle
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

seen from United States
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@furfurtheferret
Take a break, this cute tardigrade needs time to cross your dash:
I've never seen them walking before I love him
I think this is the single funniest artfight rule. Like....I guess?
WHO DID THIS
Rockwith Aleaf
thought these parts of the profile were also funny
mom i can’t go to school today it’s a national holiday
FIVE YEARS AT FREDDY’S
FIVE YEARS AT FREDDY’S
FIVE YEARS AT FREDDY’S
10 YEARS AT FREDDY'S🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
TEN YEARS AT FREDDY’S!!
Achievement Unlocked:
Stop the Pizzeria I Want to Get Off
You’ve survived over 3,600 nights at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria. Also you’re fired for being stanky.
last line hit like a mack truck
ink: diamine oxblood
im being emo about dinosaurs again
YES!!! YES!!!!!
This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but it’s also kind of an amazing two-line poem? “His Wife has filled his house with chintz” is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and “chintz” is a perfect word choice here—sonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then “to keep it real I fuck him on the floor” collapses that whole mood with short percussive sounds—but it’s still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8
I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct
I went back to dig up this post because I was thinking about poetry.
This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.
As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: “fuck him on the floor.” The use of “chintz” is indeed great word choice.
Because I’m insane, decided to scan the poem:
Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.
There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of “keep it real” juxtaposed with “chintz.” It causes me to interpret the “chintz” more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of “fuck,” which is a contrast with “chintz” but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where “chintz” is flimsy and inanimate.
And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is “filled with chintz”—something that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with “keep it real.”
The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wife’s marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something “real.” That’s a story, and it’s just two lines.
This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, y’all. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.
From a technical standpoint (and ive taken 300- and 400-level poetry classes so I can say this) this is damn near flawless as a poem.
Kept thinking about this ever since I saw it and had to do something
there's art now
Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn't been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.
I’d also like to point out the use of the word “has.” The wife has filled the house with chintz. She isn’t filling the house with chintz. She doesn’t fill the house with chintz. She has filled the house with chintz. Use of the past-tense makes the wife a subtly removed element in the story, someone whose presence we see in the environment, but who is blissfully distant during the actors throes of passion. There is an element of physical as well as emotional separation from the wife that is catalyzed by being fucked on the floor. Use of the past tense is an end to the wife presence in the actors life, a carnal catharsis amid cold fragility and emotional distance.
This is my new favourite post in the world
everyone cheer for the one (1) time tumblr had reading comprehension
And, predictably, it's because it was about gay sex
My toxic trait is that I am far more interested in the socio-economic and geopolitical implications of ABO settings than the smut.
For example: I can't read any ABO AUs set in England or France because while I can suspend my disbelief far enough for a gender trinary set up, I can't suspend it enough to believe those two countries would still be distinct entities in a alternate history where Richard the Lionheart could have impregnated Philip II.
If there was a viable dynastic future with Richard, Philip would have climbed him like an oak and dragged him to the altar if he had to. It's a match that makes perfect sense from both their points of view: Philip gets Aquitaine back under French rule, the best general in Europe on his council, and a powerful check on the Angevins... then unexpectedly (after Henry the Young bites it) the entire Kingdom of England for his Capetian dynasty. Richard meanwhile gets to stick it to his father, secure Aquitaine's prosperity, and gets the leverage to start pushing for his mother's release. Then when Henry kicks the bucket Richard doesn't actually have to be King of England in anything but name: Philip can run the countries and unify the Crowns and what not while Richard runs off to go Crusading.
Plus they also like, loved each other and stuff and being able to get to be together long term instead of being torn apart by politics would have been cool. But I'm mainly obsessed with the historical and dynastic implications.
All this to say any ABO au set in England or France that doesn't have them united as a singular Anglo-Frank empire is doing it wrong.
The concept of A/B/O also introduces the question of what succession law would look like under a gender trinary. England historically used cognatic succession, where female scions and their descendants could inherit titles if there were no surviving males from the previous dynast’s line, whereas France used agnatic succession, where succession could only pass through male lines.
In this AU, it’s unlikely that an Anglo-Frank union could last due to differences in succession laws between the two realms. What would happen if an Alpha died without an heir? Would Betas be treated similarly to Alphas for succession purposes? Could succession pass through Beta or even Omega lines? Succession laws were quite difficult to change, with modifications to royal succession often resulting in civil and/or international wars.
So I see your A/B/O geopolitical hypothetical and raise you that while Philip WOULD climb Richard like an oak and bear him multiple viable heirs, the Anglo-Frankish Union wouldn’t last long due to differences in how the kingdoms would be inherited by the descendants of those multiple heirs. And with the complexities of succession laws in a gender trinary, the War of the Roses would only be more insane.
This is literally what the Schleswig-Holstein Question was about. Well, the “conflicting laws of succession” bit, anyway. Not so much the ABO stuff. (But with the Schleswig-Holstein Question, who knows? Well, Lord Palmerston and two other people. But you see my point.)
What being on this site is like: every so often one of the flaming dumpsters floating by drops a fully realized academic paper overboard, and it floats over to you and you read it and it upends your understanding and revolutionizes your appreciation of a major geopolitical underpinning of European history upon which the very shape of modern civilization rests.
It's got medieval-style illustrations of Richard the Lionheart balls deep in Philip the Second, and they're thematically relevant.
R E B I R T H.
hey guys feeling demotivated so im making a note challenge!!
1 note: I quit being a sheriff
10 notes: I start a rebellion
100 notes: I take over the dynasty
1,000 notes: I start the first golden age of China
1,000,000,000 notes: idk I seduce qsh or something you guys let me know
great news guys I just started a rebellion 👍 thanks for all the support, wish me luck defeating xiang yu!
new dynasty new me 😎
GUESS WHOSE GOLDEN AAAAAAGE
STOP REBLOGGING THIS SEDITIOUS POST YOU TRAITOROUS TRAITORS!!!!! THIS IS AN ORDER!!!!!
if this gets to 3k i'll bribe an itinerant scholar into writing anonymous slash fic
NO THE FUCK YOU WILL NOT!!!!!!
4K and liu bang tops
DETLE YUOR FUCKING BO G
wooo ya boy's getting paid tonight!!!!
what do you mean by this, social media intern? his royal highness has made it clear this is an unpaid position.
;O_O i mean i have grown rich in patriotism and legal knowledge under bixia's most illustrious tutelage.
maybe if we get this to enough notes @strike-the-zither will arrange the slashfic as a ballad and immortalize it in song
Grzegorz Jacek Olejniczak, (Polish b.1968), Moments Before the Storm, 2026, Acrylic and oil technique
it feels so evil that you can't still access your university online library after you graduate *remembers my principles* it feels so evil that everyone can't access to that stuff all the time
That is very true.
If it's of any help, jstor allows individual users to register for free Independent Researcher accounts with access to 100 documents per month.
it WHAT
Also in most places you can access JSTOR, the OED, and other research platforms with your public library card!!
You know Jones soda cap, as a tumblr user i can actually say i think I have.
ok i’ve been curious about something. can you name a character who is, all three at once,
1. canonically female (no variation)
2. canonically the protagonist of her story (if it’s an ensemble cast you have to say you can legitimately see her as The main character)
3. your personal #1 favorite character in that story (ties are acceptable)
?
yes
no
super nuance bald extract button (use this wisely)
sgjkdfjgmldfkgldf mgkdf gdf gfd when the handmaiden / feudal lord meme takes over your dashboard lmaooooooo
This is the night lesbian tumblr peaked
was this the beginning of people using heteronormative to mean “conventional gender roles” rather than what it actually means (the assumption that heterosexuality is the default)
was this the start of my nightmare
"youd do numbers on tumblr" girl i am on tumblr and the numbers? 4
babes i said 4 my lads 4 this isnt 4 i said 4 this isnt that you didnt give me 4 i wanted 4
Well obviously we need to get this post to 444,444 just to appease OP.