the fact that at the council of elrond glorfindel is like “just throw the ring into the ocean” is so funny to me after reading the silmarillion just because it feels like the subtext is him being like “yeah let’s try maglor’s patented and tested method: Just Yeet The Accursed Fucking Thing Into The Water”
#in fairness they do do literally the other fëanorion approved method of magical item disposal #glorfindel: we could do like maglor and throw it in the ocean? #elrond: no we’re doing like maedhros and jumping into a volcano via @lesbianlanval
*at the council of Elrond*
Elrond: Alright, everyone listen up. We elves have 4 methods of dealing with Accursed Fucking Objects™, as demonstrated by my four parents.
Number 1, the Elwing Method or Mom Method. This is to hide the accursed fucking thing away and keep it safe and close. This is highly not reccommended if the object can take over its user like the ring can, and Sauron will be searching for it, so this method is out of the question.
Number 2, the Earendil Method or the Dad #1 Method. This is, send the accursed fucking thing across the sea or to some higher power. According to Mithrandir, the Valar will not take it and Tom Bombadil wants nothing to do with it, so this is also out of the question.
Number 3 is the Maglor Method, or Dad #2 Method. This is to yeet the accursed fucking thing into the ocean. In this case, it is not a good idea as Ulmo will be very upset and we will still have to contend with Sauron.
The last method is the Maedhros Method or the Dad #3 Method. This method is to yeet yourself into a volcano while holding the accursed fucking thing, and also the method we will be using. You will not have to yeet yourself into the volcano, only the ring, don’t worry, Frodo.
Those…those really are the four methods aren’t they?
@procrastinationonvacation how dare you hide this in the tags
Listen, Boromir knows 1 (one) ancient elven story and damn it, he’s going to ride that horse until it dies.
Or he does.
Quiet murmuring (translated): The Luthien method is all very well if you can pull it off, but its failure state is the Fëanor method where your increasing obsession with the Accursed Fucking Objects™ alienates all your neighbours and then the people protecting the AFO get robbery-murdered anyway.
I think Maglor’s method has its merits…it’s Ulmo’s problem now, and everyone knows he’s the most, how do I put this, *involved* of all the Valars. and may I propose a fifth method? Piss off Eonwe and act pathetic enough that he’ll just pluck it off of you, and throw it into Mt Doom himself or pressure ~~his dad~~, I mean Manwe into doing something (Varda helps, she likes Frodo becauuse I said so)
