Fuzzy Cheese Presents

"These works of fiction were brought you by cheese; delicious cheese." We are a team of four. Two of us are some badass moms (Kelly & Leani), another is a young man looking for his place in the world (Curtis), and the last is a depressing fangirl with far too much time on her hands (Tiffany). Together we made up a writing tour de force, if you will. Welcome to the Madhouse...

[take-back-the-knight]

New Tumblr

Due to some circumstances, Fuzzy Cheese has a new tumblr! From now on, all things related and posted by Fuzzy Cheese will be on this new page! Wooo!

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Please follow our new tumblr page @fuzzycheesepresents.

Sadly we are no long able to really use this page, but we will keep it around for archive purposes. 

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Episode 070 - Johnny & Lola

This week Leani and Tiffany dive into Leani's latest completed series, Angel with a Shotgun. Tiffany asks Leani why she chose John Constantine and Leani babbles for a really long time because she misses the characters already. Highlights include: - We made it through 70 episodes - Tiffany has a crappy day with tons of drama - Leani demands Arrow leave her baby alone - The end of a great series - Some background on Lola as a character - Tiffany shares what she likes about John and Lola - Behind the scenes stuff on the final fic - Leani shares her problems with Huntress & Mad King - Tiffany always told Leani to go darker - Nostalgia on Leani's first book, BLOOD - Tiffany's thoughts on Leani's writing - So much sass - Why the first fic in the AwaS series ended the way that it did - Nice try, John - Push-Pull dynamic - Tiffany was so pissed - Deadly combinations - Going to Hell...literally - Leani's overall theme throughout the series Warning: Swearing, Angel with a Shotgun spoilers

HAVE A LISTEN HERE!

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Episode 069 - Be Courageous

In this week's episode, Leani and Tiffany talk about what they feel is the meaning of courage and what makes certain characters courageous. Also, we're incredibly juvenile and we also really want to be pirates. Highlights include: - Teehee - Tiffany broke Leani already - More Zack Snyder stuff, also DC stuff - Tiffany gives us some Flash, Arrow and Legends of Tomorrow scoops - Leani has written the ending to Angel with a Shotgun - We get explicit on the podcast - Let's talk courage...not in that context though - Stepping out of your comfort zone in writing - Different types of courage within our own characters -  Tiffany talks SwanQueen punches - When authors get it wrong - Harry Potter discussion - Tiffany ruins our streak - Leani gets distracted by a shiny object - Passive courage vs. active courage - Leani has a new project lined up Warnings: swearing, explicit sexual content, Deadpool, Flash, Arrow and Legends of Tomorrow spoilers

LISTEN HERE!

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Episode 068 - Well Played

On this week's off the rails podcast, Tiffany and Leani talk about being unintentional social justice warriors. Plus, Tiffany tries to say a bunch of big words and fails spectacularly, and Leani wrote way too much this past week. Highlights include: - Leani hates cars - Tiffany's major beef with Zack Snyder - Leani finished drafting Angel with a Shotgun's final two fics - Plans for Episode 070 - Tiffany returns to fanfics - If you have to read a series out of order, it's written wrong - Tiffany and Leani beg writers to just own up to their intentions - As always, we need more representation - Cartoons from our childhood are messed up - Screw you gender roles! - Tiffany and Leani are both so tired Warnings: Swearing

Image Credit to the amazing Nina

LISTEN HERE!

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Episode 067 - Not Being Assholes

Tiffany and Leani get on their soapboxes this week to call out the nonsense going on in the world. Plus, Leani lets Tiffany go on a Once rant, and Tiffany lets Leani gush about her newest fic. Highlights include: - Tiffany’s bug adventures - Doctor Strange trailer was meh - Tiffany watched the Supergirl/Flash crossover - Once was terrible…aka Tiffany’s rant - Leani explains the importance of giving your kid a name - So much writing - The Edge spoilers - Ugh, how dare we treat people with respect? - Balder’s Gate transgender NPC backlash - A little off topic, per usual - Leani is Linda Belcher - Tiffany explains what would happen if the shoe was on the other foot - We just don’t understand Warnings: swearing, Supergirl spoilers, OuaT spoilers

Image Credit: our graphics goddess, Nina

LISTEN HERE!

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Episode 066 - Easy, Satan

In this week's podcast, your wonderful hosts talk about the difficulties of ending a series. Plus, Tiffany gives the best tangent ever and Leani just loves giving people emotional hell. Highlights include: - We immediately start things off on a dirty note - Back-to-back shifts suck - Tiffany starts live tweeting - Daredevil Season 2 spoilers - Arrow spoilers - Don't even get us started on Tommy - Leani and Tiffany are super happy that Lindsay Jones is managing Achievement Hunter - Steampunk Firefly anyone? - Leani goes on a Life Vest tyraid - Tiffany gives way too much information in the most hilarious way - Leani has a bit of a breakdown - Tiffany still wants to know where the pineapple came from - Leaving things open - Oh how the tables have turned (aka Tiffany created a monster) - John & Lola stuff - Throwing some dice Warnings: swearing, Daredevil spoilers, Arrow spoilers

LISTEN HERE!

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Plotlines for either Steampunk Twilight or Fifty Shades of Grey.

Go.

Seriously.

Suggest awful plots. Best ones will be screenshot and posted.

[cutelikemurder-blog]

Okay someone please do this.

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Apparently, we are the someones that will have to do this. In the podcast this week, Tiffany (@cutelikemurder​) expressed a desire to write what she calls “Steampunk Firefly.” Naturally, she told (@fuzzycheesequinn​) which sparked this conversation: Tiffany: Steampunk Firefly. Kelly: Most things get amazing when you add ‘Steampunk.’ I say most things, because I think a Steampunk Fifty Shades or Steampunk Twilight would be a motherfucking disaster. Tiffany: Or the greatest story ever told!

This made us post this little bit here and Tiffany asked her Facebook friends to do help out. Surprisingly no one took the bait. But Kelly did offer her condolences. 

Kelly: I apologize for putting this in your head. Tiffany: Don’t apologize. I’ve spent all day laughing this. I just keep imagining Christian Grey and his steam-powered torture room. Kelly: ... I might be trying to picture how a steam-powered sex-toy would work. Tiffany: Holy shit, how WOULD a steam-powered marital aid work? (No one has answered this questions for us, so if you have thought, please share them with the class. We’re thinking something about a finely tuned system of cogs and levers.) The conversation then shifted to Twilight (Fifty Shades of Grey’s Mother-Book). 

Kelly: Alice would totally wear a set of googles. Tiffany: And Jasper would be an airship captain!

(Um... we might have read the books... Maybe... We’ll never say for sure either way.)

Finally, like tiny pixie of doom and amazingness, Tiffany’s sister from another mister, Julia chimed in and the results were legendary.

Julia: All I could think about was the twilight where the "vampires" are robots and werewolves were genetically altered BioShock style humans and Bella is so flat and paralyzed because the society brainwashes it's subjects into.complicity. explains the glitter and the soulessness of the Edward brood. I never read either.of those series but I'm still pretty sure it's a better romance than twilight...

This is what happens when @ladyfogg isn’t around to idea wrangle us.

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The morning air of Day: One Hundred and Ninety was warm; even in the hours just before dawn. The promise of a hot day. But Alex was still shaking, his teeth chattering audibly as he watched the group of four descend the hill toward the old church. In about twenty minutes all hell was going to break loose, but the quartet seemed unphased. Devon was even smiling. Charlie was cracking a joke. Ronnie was aloof. And as always Bryan looked calm if not slightly confused by Charlie’s antics. Alex didn’t understand it. If he was going down there he would have been a giant puddle of fear-induced urine. He supposed that was why he was up here. And they were going into the viper pit. He took a deep breath and let it out. Fifteen minutes until they unleashed hell. “The enemy gate is down,” Alex whispered to himself. “The enemy gate is down.” “What are you mumbling about, Sergeant?” someone asked. “Ender’s Game. It’s a quote… it’s something…” Alex paused when he noticed the handful of blank stares thrown his way. “For fuck sake… Read a book.” “Staff Sergeant!” Ethan’s voice carried over the group and Alex cringed because he knew he was in trouble. “Is there a reason you’re ordering my soldiers to read?” “Nerd Rage, sir,” Alex confessed. “It won’t happen again… Today… Probably…” “Focus it somewhere useful, Staff Sergeant,” Ethan ordered. “Yes, sir. Let’s Take Back the Knight all over these fuckers’ faces!” Alex affirmed. “But like Knight with a K. ‘Cause like —you know — Batman and stuff.” Ethan grinned. “Get some, Sergeant.” “Sure thing, sir,” he replied. “But only if there’s enough to go around.”

Generation Undead: Teenage Wasteland, Alex Chapter: Day 190

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Plotlines for either Steampunk Twilight or Fifty Shades of Grey.

Go. Seriously. Suggest awful plots. Best ones will be screenshot and posted.

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Saving Your Best Friend from the Obvious Trap

@ladyfogg and @cutelikemurder just dusted off some their Die-20s and played a little D&D. 

Best line from the session:

(Tiffany and Leani are facing a magical stone Dwarf with an giant hammer trying to get into a cave)

Leani: “I’M GONNA RUN FOR IT!” Tiffany: “I’ll cover her... Because that’s how I die, saving Leani from the obvious trap.” Leani: “Exactly.”

Like and Reblog if you think we should start liveblogging or livetweeting these.

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Episode 065 - Gary Stues

This week Tiffany and Leani tackle the difference between DC and Marvel. Plus, Fuzzy Cheese has a new member, Tiffany has no short term memory and Leani is a monster. Highlights include: - Leani has new headphones - Tiffany says "this never happens" at least once a week - We stole @ninastestanin; she's ours now - New changes to the website - Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr - Once makes Tiffany sadder - Leani makes a soundtrack - Regina punched first - #newagefeminism - Monty Python and Holy Grail - Sex is hilarious - Once again, Barry, don't go back in time - Batman vs. Superman had bad reviews apparently - Superman never did anything for Leani - DC didn't let their heroes struggle for awhile - Tiffany thinks she knows why Superman movies fail - Marvel takes good risks, most of the time - The fun is in the grey area - Leani does words good - Subways are scary - "Quality" content Warnings: swearing probably 

Listen on our website!

Graphics courtesy of the amazing @ninastestanin.

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We’re Taking Over the Internets!

Hello... it’s us... So we’ve been making some changes here and there to the FC’s Tumblr and other places on the internet. Some updating stuff:

We’re happy to welcome @ninastestanincorner​ to our team as the Graphics Goddess. She’s a talented artist and we’re fucking stoked she’s on the team. Hey Nina!

Also, we have a Facebook Page that we will get more active with. So if you’re interested in the Facebook Stuffs, here’s a link.

And a Twitter Account as well. @TeamFuzzyCheese. Please give us a follow.

The Fuzzy Cheese and Take Back the Knight websites are getting overhauled as well. So please look out for changes on that. We’re accepting donations to the “Help Us Buy Our Domain Name” fund.

We also have an account on AO3. We haven’t posted anything up there in a while. But that’s going to change soon.

Thanks for sticking with us, The FC Team

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Episode 064 - The Writer’s Agenda

This week's topic is courtesy of the amazing Kelly. Tiffany and Leani talk about using writing to hold a mirror to society. Also, Tiffany talks about an awesome project called Age of Capricorn while Leani discusses ways people choose to express their opinions. Highlights include: - Tiffany gets snippy...per usual - Leani tells a fun ER story - Tiffany did a really stupid thing...again - For some reason Leani dreams about her and Tiffany moving to CT - Why is the devil always British? - Future goals - Loud noises - Damn hippies - Apparently people don't know what writers use their writing for - Calling people out - Tiffany's coworker's unsurprising reaction to Jessica Jones - Don't ever tell a woman to smile - Tiffany takes it a tad bit far - Leani's family is progressive - How we work through problems Warnings: swearing. Flash spoilers, mild gore during the ER story

HAVE A LISTEN HERE!

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Episode 063 - Spa Day

Leani and Tiffany get into talking about the emotions writers go through this week. Plus, Tiffany shares some mom stories and Leani is the Punisher. Highlights include: - It's all fake! - Some geek news stuff, yay Daredevil - Valid critiques on the Ghostbusters trailer - Star Wars talk - Oh, hey Lola - Tiffany is still doing the fic writing - Leani almost didn't continue Angel with a Shotgun - Emotional roller-coasters - It's nice to have a person - Tiffany talks about works she needs breaks from - You're not my dad! - Putting personal experiences into our characters - Tiffany and Leani actually have a few people they don't hate - Awesome parent stories Warnings: Swearing, Star Wars spoilers, mild Daredevil spoilers (ep. 2.01, 2.02, 2.03)

Have a listen here!

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Strange Bedfellows - “Your Next Bold Move” (2/20)

Title: Strange Bedfellows - “Your Next Bold Move” (2/20) Full Summary: It’s been three months since you watched Fox get on a plane with Ryan and return to a life that sadly has little room for you in it. While you’re at the top of your game, as The Information Broker in Los Santos, you’ve realized something very important; one is indeed the loneliest number that you ever knew. But you’re about to find out (not that you didn’t already know) that two can be as bad as one. Chapter Summary: Hound handles her new role as “caregiver to a tiny human.” Hound and Victoria make plans to meet, which is strictly business and NOTHING ELSE. Yeah… I don’t believe it either. Fandom (s): GTA (Vaguely Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter) Pairing: F/F - Female Reader/Female Assassin (Because of reasons) Rating: M/R (For Language, Adult Content, a Mild Self-Love Scene) Links to SotH & PiC: Slip of the Hand & Partners in Crime Fict Playlist: Here (Spotify) Warnings: GTA AU, Lesbian Reader Insert, Smut, So much Belligerent Sexual Tension that it could be called Trope Abuse, NSFW, A Fan Fiction of a Fan Fiction (It’s a thing) A/N: Alright... Still with me? Here’s part two. As you may have noticed there’s a link to a playlist on Spotify. Yes, Fuzzy Cheese Productions has a spotify playlist. Other playlists can be found there as well. Disclaimer: I claim no rights to copyrighted material and this story is purely for entertainment purposes.

MASTERPOST (COMING SOON)

“There are two rules in life: 1. never give out all the information.” ― Internet Meme

“MOM!”

He leaps into your arms with the force of a freight train, climbing on you like a tiny spider monkey, and you’re his favorite jungle gym. The kid is seven but small for his age (like his dad had been), appearing to be just starting school this fall, instead of waiting for the beginning of his Second Grade Year. Which is the only reason you can even let him do this. Though if you’re honest with yourself, you'd let him do this even if it broke your back every time. Because he seems to need this kind of affection. You didn’t understand it at first. And given your own history, physical contact is understandably not one of your strong suits. It only took him a few weeks to break down your defenses, however. Now you get it. Now you relish it in, delighted to just hear him laugh, as if the sound is your most treasured possession.

“Ah, kid-sneak-attack!” you yelp, as he positions himself on your back. “How was your trip?”

“So awesome!” he squeals. “Roxy and me had so much fun! But Big Mama said that she’s mad at you for not coming with. Only she didn’t use those words.”

“What she say?” you ask, looking at Roxy, who’s watching your interaction with the kid like it’s an alien thing; something to be dissected and experimented on.

“That you’re on her shit list. And it’s your ass if you bail on the next trip,” Roxy tells you.

“Yeah, that sounds like her…” you laugh, bouncing a bit to get the kid’s attention. “So kid, I’m thinking arcade this afternoon. Then pizza and movies tonight?”

“Yes!” the kid cheers. “Roxy, are you coming too?”

“I dunno…”

“Please… Roxy,” he implores. “It’ll be fun.”

You grin. “Yeah, Rox. Come on. It’ll be soooo fun.”

Roxy rolls her eyes and relents. “Fine. But you’re buying.”

“Don’t I always?” You untangle yourself from the kid and muss up his hair. Because his reaction is hilarious and it tickles you to see him so put out by such a small thing. “Go upstairs and play some video games, kid. Auntie Roxy and me, we gotta talk about some stuff. One of us’ll come and get you when we’re done.”

“Okay!” You don’t have to tell him twice. At the mention of video games he’s clopping up the stairs like a wild animal.

“Kid!” you call to him. “Ease up. We have neighbors.”

“Sorry!” his little voice travels down the stairs into the kitchen, where you and Roxy stand, drinking coffee.

Roxy’s giving you a displeased look and you know what’s coming the second you two hear the door to the kid’s room shut.

3… 2… 1… Go.

“H, you have done some stupid things but this…?”

You wave her off. “I know. I know.”

“Do you?” Roxy asks, trying to keep her voice down. “Because it didn’t look like it when I walked in. It looked like the same old Hound, up to her same old bullshit.”

“Hey, I was trying to figure out who’s wants me dead,” you fire back. “And guess what? I did.”

Roxy glares at you. “She told you who hired her?”

You open your mouth to answer Roxy in the affirmative but think better of it. “Not exactly.”

“You are going to get yourself killed,” Roxy whispers, harshly. “And that was fine when you were 20. But you are 30-fucking-years-old, H. And you’ve got Malcolm's, now. You can’t keep doing this shit.”

“Am I interrupting something?”

You snap to attention, your eyes widening before you remember yourself. You relax a bit before you turns around to find Victoria standing by your bedroom door, fleshly shower but in the same clothes she wore last night. Her hair is still a little damp and with the makeup wiped away, she looks almost human. Like someone you could have approached at a coffee shop and not a badass assassin that was hired to kill you. But just because the cover doesn’t match the book, doesn’t mean there isn’t something to this. You know nothing about Victoria save for her name and occupation but it’s clear she is a complicated and layered person of unknown depths.

“No,” you answer. “Roxy was just telling me I’m being stupid and crazy again.”

Victoria arches an eyebrow. “A conversation you two have often.”

“Oh, you don’t even know the half of it, sister,” Roxy says, before she turns to you with a, “I’ll go keep the kid company.”

You nod, calling after her as she heads upstairs. “Thank yooou… Looovvve yoouuu…” When you turn back around, Victoria’s staring at you like you’ve grown two heads. “Best friend,” you supply. “One of them. Only I didn’t fuck this one. So the dynamic is a bit different.”

“Hound, when I want to know something personal about your life, I’ll ask,” Victoria replies, curtly.

“Oohhh,” you draw out. “Somebody’s cranky. Coffee? I’d offer to turn that frown upside down in a less traditional method but gosh-darnit we already tried that. Not that I wouldn’t give it the ol’ college try again. But I’ve got the kid upstairs, you understand.”

Victoria stares daggers at you and you notices how the ends of her lips twitch. Either she’s a smoker, or she’s trying not to laugh. Both are a possibility. However, if you were a betting person (and you aren’t) then you’d put your life savings on it being the latter and not the former.

“Hound…”

You smile and insist she call you by your name. And it’s your turn to hold back a smile when Victoria lets out an exasperated sigh. You don’t know why, but you enjoy getting under her skin. It’s your new favorite game. But it wouldn’t be nearly as fun, if Victoria didn’t make it so easy.

“Hound.” Yeah, she’s angry. Well, smaybe not angry. Perturbed? Vexed, maybe? “We have business to discuss.”

“Right, so we’ll skip the steamy bits. For now. And just get right to the boring parts. Because we’re professionals and stuff,” you reply, grinning like the cat that got the cream.

Victoria ignores her puerile antics. “You can meet me at the Majestic, Downtown. I’ll be in the Grand Lanai. Meet me there in two hours. Don’t be late.”

“Two hours? So you need time to what? Slip into something sexy?” you tease. “I’m flattered, Victoria. But it's not necessary.”

“Two hours, Hound,” Victoria stresses, heading for the door. “Keep me waiting and I’ll consider your offer null and void.”

You regard her with amusement. “Better not be late then.”

“Good day, Hound,” Victoria tells her.

You tell her to call you by your first name.

“Hound.” Then the door slams shut and you are left with your own thoughts.

You refill your mug and contemplates stepping out for a cigarette. You needs a moment to collect yourself and work out your next move. Obviously, you’re going to have meet with Victoria. Yes, it’s a terrible idea, but you don’t have another card to play. You could send someone to take care of Victoria. However, it’s not something you want to do. If Victoria dies, so does your only lead.

You reach into your pocket and retrieve your phone. It rings twice before a perky voice answers.

“You’ve reached Lite, keeper of all things knowable, and seeker of all things unknowable, at your service.”

His English accent comes through thick, even through the phone.

“Hey, Baby Boy,” you say with a smile. “I need you to do me a favor.”

“Is it really a favor if you’re my boss and you pay me?” he teases.

“You got me there, Baby Boy,” you reply. “I need this ASAP. Get me everything we have on a Victoria Monroe, aka the Viper.”

“The assassin? Is she the one that’s been hired to kill you?” Lite sounds shocked.

“Yup, that’d be her,” you confirm.

“Wow… that’s… wow…” Lite says. “Whoever hired her must really want you dead.”

“That’s comforting.”

“Sorry, Boss,” Lite gives a nervous giggle. “I’ll dig up what I can and call you back soon.”

“Thanks.”

“Of course. It’s literally what you pay me to do.”

You end the call and sigh. It’s going to be a long day.

“MOM!” Malcolm's little feet clamor down the steps. “I beat it! I beat the game!”

At the sound of his voice you shake off whatever doubts you might have about Victoria and wills yourself to stop worrying so much. You’ve been in worse dilemmas before. No examples come to mind right now. But you’re almost 70% sure that you’ve been in sticker situations than this.

“You did?” you ask when he comes into view. Your voice is light and breezy, almost carefree, even. “That’s awesome, Kid.”

He smiles, proudly. “I’m pretty awesome, Mom.”

You muss his hair again to keep him humble. “I know, Kid. I know.”

“Can we go to the arcade now?” he asks, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“It’s not open yet,” you tell him, much to Malcolm's disappointment. “And I have a work thing. But afterwards… We’ll shut the the whole place down.”

“Promise?”

You nod. “Pinky swear, Kid.”

You two lock pinkies and shake on it. And that’s good enough for Malcolm. You haven’t let him down yet, so he has no reason to doubt you. Malcolm even handles your work stuff with ease. He doesn’t know what you do. Not entirely, anyway. And god willing, he’ll never find out. Considering who his dad was, you want to keep him as far away from this life as possible. This life is no place for a kid. And you know that. Eventually, you’ll have to turn your back on all of this. The only question that remains (besides the obvious one) is do you want to? Because this is all you’ve known. And hardships aside, this isn’t an easy thing to walk away from. It’s a part of you.

“Do we have any juice?” Malcolm asks, already heading for the frig.

“Yeah. Even got the kind that you like,” you tell him.

The smile he flashes reminds you of why you agreed to take him in. And it’s not just because of his father. Although that helped. It’s Malcolm. He’s a good kid. And if you have anything to say about it, he’ll stay that way. He’s better than his father. And he’s definitely better than you.

“H?” Roxy calls for you as she descends the staircase.

“In the kitchen, Rox,” you shout.

Roxy makes reappears with an annoyed expression etched on her features. “Is she gone?”

“Yeah, she wants to meet me in two hours at the Majestic,” you reply.

“And you’re gonna go.” It isn’t a question. “Jesus Christ.”

“Yeah, I know. I'm dumb. But will you-”

Roxy finishes her request. “Watch Malcolm until you get back? Of course. Just because you're an idiot doesn't mean I'll leave him to his own devices. Will you at least promise to be careful?”

The smirk you flash her says it all. “You're looking for the answer yes… Then yes.”

“For Malcolm's sake I hope so.”

The funny thing is, so do you. Malcolm's already lost so much, so young and she doesn't want to add herself to the long list of casualties that haunt him. However, the person or persons that want you dead won't take his mental well-being into consideration. They’ll just kill you and be done with it.

Criminals can be dicks that way.

After getting the kid settled, you retreat into your bedroom to get ready for your - well - meeting. That's what you tell Malcolm anyway. Roxy shoots you a disapproving grimace, knowing that whatever you are walking into is something that could scarcely be called anything remotely like a “work meeting.” But if you can't call it that then what can you call it? And more importantly how are you going to manage getting out of this alive?

That's the question that plagues you when you step under the warm stream of water coming from your showerhead. As you washes up, your attempts to think about something else other than your impending doom, and the deadly brunette that had occupied this very shower not fifteen minutes ago, end in failure. The harder you try to forget, the more your mind is bombarded with the memory of last night.

You wonder if the Money is aware of your weakness for dangerous women. You ponder the possibility that this is all a part of the plan. And you come to the conclusion that you’re probably walking into a trap.

Despite the very real danger you’re in, your mind replays the event of yesterday in lurid detail. You remember the way Victoria felt pressed against you, the sounds this woman made when she was coming undone under your touch, the way she breathed your name as she did. And hell, as good as Victoria took it, it was nothing compared to the how well she returned the favor. In fact during the course of last night, you thought death by orgasmic overdose had been a very real possibility.

Sex with Victoria is as intoxicating and addictive as heroin. You’ve only gotten a small taste of your new favorite drug. And now you're racking your brain, trying to figure out a way to get your next fix.

Your hand traverses your body as if it has a mind of it’s own. The tension that you’ve built up from the fight has coiled tightly within you, ready to snap at any moment. It needs release. You need release.

With your bottom lip locked between your teeth, you treat this like a race, bringing yourself to completion, speedily. As if there’s a prize for coming in first. There’s no poetry to it. No rhyme or reason. At this point it’s purely for the purposes of maintaining some kind of functionality and hopefully a way that you can finally be rid of the image of being with Victoria.

Your climax comes swift and unceremoniously. As you sigh, the last bit of tension leaves your shoulders. And while you can say that on some level you needed that, it still bothers you that Victoria’s at the forefront of your mind.

When your breathing regulates, you step out of the shower, feeling refreshed but also uneasy. You’re nervous. Looking over the contents of your closet with mild annoyance. A business meeting with an assassin is a first for you. And you’ve having trouble picking an outfit. Does you go for professional? A nice, tailored suit. Or maybe business casual? Like slacks and a sweater.

“Fuck it,” you sigh, picking out a pair of jeans and a tank top. It's too hot for boots and a leather jacket but you don’t care and put them on too to complete the outfit.

Once dressed, you inspect the finished product in a mirror. She supposes she could have done something more with your hair, instead of just pulling it back into a ponytail. But you tell yourself there just isn't time.

Besides it isn't like you’re getting ready for some hot date. It's just a meeting with Victoria… who is a hit...person… who has also been hired to kill you.

So definitely not a date.

You exchange goodbyes with Malcolm and Roxy before you make your way to the front door.

“Mom?” Malcolm's voice sounds.

“Yeah, kid?”

“Bring me back something?”

You take one glance at his puppy dog look and knows there's no point in fighting it. You’d give the kid the sun, the moon, and all of the stars in the sky if it meant you’d get to see him happy.

“New video game? Or a toy?”

His smile brightens. “Video game, please. Maybe like the next Five Nights at Freddy’s?”

“We'll see. I know you beat the first three but that was before I knew it was an the things that nightmares are made from."

He pouts. “But Mom…”

“Just tell Malcolm you'll get the game,” Roxy cuts in. “We all know you will anyway.”

“The kid doesn't know that,” you offer.

But Malcolm scoffs. “Yeah, I do. You never say no to me.”

“When'd you get to be such a me-expert, kid?” you ask.

He laughs. “It's not like it's hard. You make it so easy.”

“Well maybe today is the day I finally tell you no.”

Malcolm's rolls his eyes. “Yeah right. You're not going to do that.”

“He has you there, H,” Roxy adds.

You frown at them both. “You two can bite me. How ‘bout that?”

“Goodbye, H,” Roxy says, shaking her head in disbelief.

“Have fun with your meeting, Mom. See ya later, gator,” Malcolm tells you.

“In a while, crocodile.” You toss him a wink before you step out and close the door behind you.

It's only a 20 minutes drive to the the Majestic. 40 minutes if there's traffic. Of course there's traffic. In this city? That's just a given. You only solace is that you have at least has some music for the drive into the city.

On a warm summer day like this, there’s nothing like driving into the city with the top down on your car. You got it because it reminds you of the first car you ever stole, only newer and not held together with duct tape. You loved that car. It reminds you of a simpler time.

It reminds you of Fox.

When you first started out in this business, you had nothing but your wits and that ratty old car. That’s when you met Fox. The only person, besides Malcolm and Roxy (who don’t count, at least in this way) that saw you; the real person under the Hound mask, and loved you anyway. You and Fox were toxic for each other and destined to crash and burn like a magnificent trainwreck but there’s a piece of you that longs for someone like that again. A partner in all things. Someone that loves your broken parts. Someone that makes you feel like you belong.

“Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now…”  the radio speakers blare as you drive down the expressway, cringing because this song reminds you of Fox. “Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same… When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down… 'Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name…”

Your knuckles turn white from gripping the steering wheel too tightly. The stuff with Fox is ancient history. At least now it is. But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt. It doesn’t mean you don’t miss her every single day. But Fox’s moved on. She’s happy now. And you… you have your work. And you have Malcolm's. However, there will probably always a Fox-shaped hole in your heart. And you’re not sure if you want to get over that pain. It means that once upon a time there was someone out there crazy enough to love you.

“It all just sounds like oooooh… Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize… That I should've bought you flowers, and held your hand… Should've gave you all my hours,  when I had the chance… Take you to every party 'cause all you wanted to do was dance… Now my baby's dancing,  but she's dancing with another man… ”

You skips the song, quickly. Your life is difficult enough without falling into some feelings.

“Detonat-, Detonator… Baby, oh, you blow my mind… You'll, tell me wait, wait on ya… But baby I can't wait all night… I go through pictures, ya send my phone… Won't stop tempting me. You know what I want… Wanna make, wanna make love… Girl, I can't lie-ie-ie-ie…

“I'm just a sucker… For a cold hearted lover… You make me s-uh-uh-uh-uh-ffer… You make me s-uh-uh-uh-uh-ffer… Don’t keep me waiting… You should come over… Don't make me s-uh-uh-uh-uh-ffer… Don't make me s-uh-uh-uh-uh-ffer…”

This song is even worse as it stirs up feelings you thought you let wash down your shower drain this morning. You fight the urge, but you can’t stop yourself from thinking about Victoria; admonishing yourself for not focusing on the task at hand. Instead, your mind drifts, conjuring the memories of the night before. And you wring your hands on the steering wheel again but for completely different reasons.

“So here we go, go again… It's like I'm caught under your spell… You're, wearing black, black magic… Well baby, don't wear nothing else… When I open up this door, don't you play… Ain't no other man gon' make you feel the same… I wanna make, wanna make lo-”

“Nope,” you say, quickly hitting skip. You smiles when a melodic acoustic guitar riff fades in. Bobby Womack is someone you can always listen to regardless of your mood. And you start singing along, tapping your fingers to the music.

“All the leaves… are brown… And the sky is gray… I went for a walk… On such a winter’s day…”

That brings you back to yourself. Or at least it takes your out of your head enough to just enjoy the ride, despite the smell. Because Los Santos smells. It stinks like pigeon shit and smog. But it’s home. And it’s beautiful, so long as you don’t breathe in too deeply.

“Cali-for-nia dreamin’… On such a winter’s day…”

Your phone rings then and you have to turn the music down before you answer it.

“Talk to me, Baby Boy,” you greet.

Lite laughs. “Well, I got what I could about the Viper. Boss… Her dossier reads like a demon’s resume. Former MI6. Went freelance in ‘09. Reportedly trained by the Widow. Number of confirmed kills: 108. Preferred method of disposable: Poison.”

“Poison? Seriously?” It makes that business with the gun surprising.

“Yeah. Hand-crafted. And highly-lethal.” Lite pauses. “So… did you really sleep with the Viper?”

You frown. “Roxy called you.”

“Of course she did. It's Roxy,” Lite pauses. “Boss, I sent what I found to your phone. Look over it so you know what know kind of person you're dealing with.”

“I know exactly the kind of person I'm dealing with,” you say quietly.

“Is that a sex thing?”

“What? No. Christ, Lite.”

“Sorry… is there anything else you need?”

“See if you can find some kind of money trail. Whoever wants me dead is willing to shell some serious coin. That kind of transfer isn't invisible. We find the money, I can neutralize the threat at its source.”

“Ok. I'm on it. Be careful, Boss.”

“I'll try. “

You’ve given yourself enough time to get to the hotel with just enough to spare to pick up a little goodness at a coffee shop close by. Which you doe. Getting a vanilla latte with extra whip fit yourself. And a black coffee for your would-be murderer. Your version of extending an olive branch.

The front desk clerk tells you that your arrival has been expected and hands you a card key, pointing in the direction of the hallway that leads to the Grand Lanai, which is on the ground floor with a view of the bay. Or so the clerk informs you. You smile, and offer your gratitude before heading Victoria's way.

You stomach is fluttering. You palms are sweaty. You feel like you’re heading off to Prom or something else equally juvenile. You haven't felt this kind of nervousness in a long time. And while a part of you absolutely hates it, there's another part of you that is actually excited at the prospect of seeing Victoria again.

There’s something wrong with me.

After a long walk you arrive at the Grand Lanai and uses the key card at the door, not bothering to knock because you’re hoping to catch the other woman off guard. But what you find instead is a seemingly empty room.

“Victoria?” you call out softly, looking around for any sign she’s here. But there isn’t even any indication that someone is staying in the room. No bags in sight. No lingering evidence of an occupant. Only the low hum of the AC, as you travel further inside.

Then you hear it. The subtle but all so noticeable click of a gun being cocked. You know better than to whip around quickly and opt for a slow turn. Victoria's standing by the partition to the suite's sleeping area, pistol at the ready and aimed right at your heart.

“Hound,” she husks, her lips curled into a sinister grin. “You're a little underdressed for your own funeral.”

PART THREE SNEAK PEEK COMING SOON PART THREE COMING SOON

[fuzzycheeseproductions]

Episode 062 - Personal Insights

This week, Tiffany and Leani get serious and talk about the difference between copying someone's work and being inspired by the work. Also, Leani gets very personal and Tiffany is not as scary as people think she is. Highlights include: - We can't adult - Agent Carter finale - Agents of Shield returns - Civil War trailer - New work from Rooster Teeth - Tiffany gets creepy - Leani's fanfic plans - Article writing plans - Leani explains her recent characters in more detail - Our characters and their connections - Fanfiction edicate - Sheath Her Sword - Always ask permission - Leani hates world building - Leani is scarier than Tiffany apparently Warnings: Swearing, Agent Carter spoilers, Agents of Shield spoilers, Civil War trailer spoilers.

LISTEN HERE

[fuzzycheeseproductions]

Excerpt from Generation Undead: One Second ‘Til Midnight

MEET KYLAR WOLFE

Day 14

The horde rolled and barrelled forward like a wave of corpses. There wasn’t another living soul in Times Square. The soldiers had already retreated from the barricades. And they hadn’t seen a survivor for at least a day. But the streets of Manhattan were crowded with a lifeless mob of animated corpses, who shuffled along, roaming the roads in search of living flesh to infect.

“So are you just going to stand here and take in the sights, or are we going to have some fun, Kylar?”

Kylar Wolfe lifted his head; an unlit cigarette hung lazily between his lips. He looked the tall, athletic girl, who stood near the ledge of the building. She glanced at him, dark lips curling into a playfully dangerous smirk. Her dark eyes lit up with a mischievous glint, as her gaze shifted from him and the horde.

“What’s the verdict?” she asked.

He lit the end of the cigarette before he replied. “We have our orders, Brynn. We’re supposed to observe. Not engage.”

She laughed. “I won’t tell Alpha if you won’t.”

“You’re not going to let this go are you?” he asked her, already knowing the answer.

Brynn shrugged and reached over to take the cigarette from his lips, careful not to touch him. Despite how much they play, she was always careful when it came to things like that. She took a drawn out pull from the cigarette and exhaled slowly. “Kapp, it’s the end of the world as we know it. It’s time to start enjoying life’s little pleasures. Like ripping into a horde of lifelessly corpses without fear of being arrested or worse captured.”

Brynn inched toward the edge of the building. They weren’t that far up. Only 20 or so stories. It would only take a few minutes to get to street level if they took the shortcut down.

“Brynn… we shouldn’t…”

“Don’t Kye. We already get that enough from Al. I don’t need you parroting back his orders,” she sighed, looking at him one last time. “Are you coming with?” When he didn’t reply she smirked. “Suit it yourself. See ya back at base, Kapp.”

And then she jumped... right off the edge of the tenement building.

Kylar rolled his eyes but couldn’t fight the smile as he said to himself. “I’m going to marry that woman.”

Then he leapt after her.