Henry couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when he had finally stopped fighting the inevitable. With an existence built on pure accident, he still never felt such an overwhelming longing for death more than he had now. It wasn’t even Kaito’s heart-broken questions that pierced through the sullen outer exterior he chose to shield himself with. It chipped at an already growing fissure, spreading every single time those blissful, yet terrifying thoughts sprung back up, dead set to consume even the foreign corners of his consciousness, until finally being rid of everything felt like the only option available.
His teeth sunk down hard atop his tongue, forcing back a groan as his body collided with the metal shelf. It was impossible to ignore the dizziness cascading in waves through his body - especially now, his anxiety only serving to encourage the nausea griping in his stomach. Holding both arms over his mid-section, as if awaiting another blow, offering a half-hearted chuckle at Kaito’s last response. “That’s unfortunate,” His lips fell back into a tight line, gaze searing a hole into the ground for how intensely Henry stared at it. It was an anchor; if he glanced up to Kaito for even a second, he was almost certain he’d vomit. Emotional turmoil never did settle well with him physically. Feeling everything, when you were so used to feeling nothing at all - or at least convincing himself that, what was past should be left there, and nobody would really matter in the end, that the world was nothing but chaos and destruction and you couldn’t afford to let people in anymore…
He hadn’t even noticed his blurred vision. A barely inaudible gasp hissed through his teeth as he felt a trickle of saline roll down his cheek, white-knuckled grip tightening deep into the pale flesh of his clay-dusted arms. His lips parted, but all he could elicit was a broken sob before slapping a hand over his mouth, head shaking back and forth violently. Maybe Kaito could even make out the muffled, ’I’m sorry’ through the trembling digits.
The wretched sob tearing from Henry’s throat had Kaito surging forward reflexively, fully intending to comfort his old friend in the only way the alpha knew how; with a warm embrace. But that wouldn’t help the situation any and the anger overwhelmed his instincts to protect and nurture, forcing the wolf into a cautious backward step that created more space between the two. It was harrowing to watch the Wendigo fall apart before him; his voice hoarse with agony as he made himself smaller against the shelf. He seemed so fragile and broken, desperately in need of comfort the Alpha wished he could provide. The sight alone had guilt welling inside Kaito quicker than he could tamp down on the emotion and he pressed his lips together into a grim line—if only to silence himself. He felt powerless but unwilling to stand back and observe while the other fell apart.
Henry’s despondency was deeply concerning for Kaito, leaving goosebumps crawling along the flesh of the Alpha’s arms and sending an icy cold shiver trailing the length of his spine. He couldn’t bear it and wished to scrub himself clean of the feeling, but that would be selfish and standing back, simply watching a friend's painful plight was not something he could. Even one that'd betrayed him to Henry's extent. Turning on his heel, Kaito left the room without a single utterance and hurried towards the kitchen of the small building to collect a glass of water for the other. He knew if the situation were reversed, Henry wouldn’t hesitate to seek the nearest exit and leave him so far in the dust, he was but a mirage within seconds. But Kaito wasn’t Henry and the weight of responsibility sat heavily on his shoulders. The Wendigo had once been pack—even if only adopted—and Kaito swore to protect to him at all costs, including to the detriment of his own health. He would see that promise through, regardless of what it entailed.
Catching a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror above the kitchen sink, the Alpha almost didn't recognize himself. He looked world-weary, exhaustion seeping into his eyes and diminishing the ever present spark. Only hours before he’d enjoyed a daily run through the forest, his cheeks tinged a healthy pink with exertion by the time he was done and an immovable smile set on his lips. In the space of mere minutes, his entire world had been turned on its head, leaving him struggling to cope with the fallout. His past sure was biting him in the ass. Exhaling heavily, Kaito shook himself clear of wayward thoughts and walked back into the room where Henry slouched and held the glass out towards him. “Here, drink this. You’ll feel better.”
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