Fight Me

Your average ‘Slightly Over Opinionated New Yorker Who Pronounces The Nonexistent “aw” In Every Word’

[tomb-of-madeline]

Happy Valentine’s day everyone!

[dragimal]

[str0kethebigtree-deactivated202]

[siren-the-gryphon]

[just-rhys-things]

Forward-facing eyes means they’re predators now

[bizarreshark]

[snowysaur]

axolittle

axolotl

[scringlegrup42]

Good post OP

[scaliepost-generator]

the best fucking post op

[menlove-archive]

honest to god can't stop thinking about this song about jeff bezos by philip labes (link takes you to his spotify). it's such a good example of politically driven folk music.

[kaizykat]

Lyrics:

Jeff found a genie in a bottle Who said, "I can give you anything you ask" "You can have your wishes three And a million more for free It's unlimited, just set me to the task."

Well, Jeff thought a while, Said, "I want houses, "I want boats, I want fancy modern art, I want tickets to the Met, I want my own private jet, And a rocket into space just for a start."

Well, the genie waved her arms and made it happen His every wish bolted from the blue And folks all over town grew enamored, gathered 'round To admire the man whose wishes had come true

They said, "Let's hear it for the man who has everything! By good fortune he's been set so far apart." "Yeah, let's hear it for Jeff who has everything! 'Cause his wishes are only at the start."

Well, Jeff heard their shouts and he grew worried He said, "Everybody's getting in my way." The genie smiled as before, "You've got a million wishes more. You can even give a bunch of them away."

Well, Jeff got confused and sorta quiet 'Til he finally said, "I have just one wish more." "I am satisfied, so I wish that you would die So you cannot grant wishes anymore."

Well, the genie's eyes got big and sad and shiny 'Til she finally said, "Your wish is my command." And with an effervescent sigh, she disappeared before his eyes And no wishes were ever granted there again

So, let's hear it for the man who has everything! By good fortune he has set so far apart Yeah, let's hear it for Jeff, who's got everything! Every single fucking thing except a heart

[wordsmithic]

[mycroftrh]

When I was about 4 or 5, my dad worked in software implementation (installing very complicated programs for entire companies, basically). And sometimes when people had a problem with the program, they’d call my dad.

If he wasn’t in the room, I was assigned to answer the house phone and say “Hello, Edward will be here in jutht a moment,” in my high-pitched lisp typically described by family members as “elfin”, and then yell for my dad. Then I’d listen to him walking them through the issue because I found it interesting.

One time my dad went in for a meeting with the CEO of a large company, like, one you’ve heard of, and the CEO said “Oh, by the way, your assistant is amazing! Fixed my problem immediately."

After some very subtle investigative work - because if the CEO of a billion dollar company is pleased you don’t answer with ‘wtf are you talking about’ - he determined that what happened was the following:

The CEO called my dad at a very odd time of day, because rich people are like that.

The phone was answered by an elfin, lisping voice, which said “Hello, I’m thorry, Edward ithn’t here right now. Can I help you?”

“…okay, do you thee the power button? Can you rethtart the computer? …that means turning it off.”

Five minutes later, the CEO hung up, very pleased that an elf with a speech impediment had fixed his million-dollar software.

[laughingfish]

You're the mythical 20 years old with 20 years experience.

[unclefather]

[bluebandana]

actually tumblr should pay ME for sticking around this long

[bonersniper]

Tumblr social security benefits for geriatric blogs

[babymsi]

[hit-girl]

Ashley Laurence as Kirsty Cotton in Hellraiser (1987), dir. Clive Barker

[weltenwellen]

Judith L. Herman, Trauma and Recovery

[amor-ascetico]

[tremblingadored]

Corsican vendetta knife with floral detail

“may all your wounds be mortal”

[theshamelessmanatee]

The translation is a bit off. It says “may my wound be mortal”, like it is the knife wishing to kill you

[law-of-abstraction]

Vintage French postcard, “L’amour de Pierrot,” c. 1905.

[littledeludeddupes]

cant stop thinking about this fucking dog…..

[solophenttwo]

From ‘I Spy: Fantasy’ - Walter Wick, 1994

[robertdeniro]

What do you do for a living?

Suffer

[dykecostanza-deactivated2024112]

[guerrillatech]

[lobothebuilder]

Top tier take

[acewatney]