This is where a keep my writting.
Also I have a youtube channel where i talk about fics i like and stuff
I'm not saying anything of the things on this blog are real and of course I mean not warm by writing them.
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Fanfiction Recomendation #2: Untitled by rockylynchxo
I think this fic has become my favorite on this fandom. Is GREAT. And I swear there’s a Rocky like the one in the fic on another universe. The video is here.
links & tags under read more.
→ shout out to the author:
wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/rockylynchxo
tumblr: http://heyitsrockylynch.tumblr.com/
→ Read the Fanfiction here: https://www.wattpad.com/story/62549880-untitled-r-m-l
See the cover/edit I made for this fic on the links below ^-^
Fanfiction Recomendation #2: Untitled by rockylynchxo
I think this fic has become my favorite on this fandom. Is GREAT. And I swear there's a Rocky like the one in the fic on another universe. The video is here.
links & tags under read more.
→ shout out to the author:
wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/rockylynchxo
tumblr: http://heyitsrockylynch.tumblr.com/
→ Read the Fanfiction here: https://www.wattpad.com/story/62549880-untitled-r-m-l
See the cover/edit I made for this fic on the links below ^-^
So… I while back my sister asked me why I didn’t start a youtube channel as ‘Booktuber’, you know, do book reviews and all that jazz, since both of us like reading. I’d like that, BUT the only thing I read lately is fanfiction, because books are expensive af and I’m just a high school student without job LOL
And I thought, “hey! why don’t I do the same thing a booktuber would do but with fanfictions? There are tons of them, about everything and they are free, so everyone could read them if they want.”
Sooooo if you reading this think is a good idea let me know! Also, if you write or are also fanfic trash, send me an ask/message with a fic you would like me to review or something… I ship everything, tbh.
Thanks for reading!!! pls tell me this is a good idea, i’m begging u.u
DOING A YOUTUBE CHANNEL WOULD BE GREAT! PLEASE DO IT
*gets exited* I AM DOING IT!! ^-^
I already created the acount for it, it’s called “galaxyminds;” (here a link if you want to subscribe, pls do) and I’m working on the first review!!!!
thanks for your message, btw :3 it made me smile ‘cause I love when people encourage me on my crazy ideas haha. Have a nice day!!
For people that don’t know what this is about and because I better take the chance for promo (lol) I’m talking about doing a youtube channel to review fanfictions (pretty much the things a booktuber does but with fanfics ??)
Here a link to a post where I explain it better !!!
okay,okay... So. A year and so ago I made a post talking about having the idea of making a youtube channel where I’ll talk about fanfictions and make recomendations and all that ( like a booktube channel but with fics ) but then life got difficult and everything was kinda crappy and just uggggh so i didn’t follow thru BUT I finally filmed and edited the first two videos woooow /o/
Here is the first one, where I talk about what my plans for the channel are, do some disclaimers and helpfully clarify things that you may be curious about ^-^
Title: And if you need a friend..
Chapter: 2/?
Fandom: Phandom / Cannon
Pairing: Phan, and Dalila x Jude (I guess I should tag that?)
Word Count: 1,596 (all chapters)
Summary:
They say weddings can be dramatic, but in Dalilas case is after her wedding with her best friend Jude when everything really explodes.
Or the one when Dalila Howlter is uncomfortable with her body but no one really knows apart from her best friend. At least until things get rough after they get married, Dal is not talking with him anymore and so Jude, desperate for help, contacts her fathers Dan and Phil.
((Full prompt inside))
Warnings: (for second chapter) Mentions of depressing thoughts
Disclaimer: I don’t own Dan or Phil, sadly. Although Dalila is all mine. I’m not saying anything of this is real and of course I mean not warm by writing this. Also, I like to think Dan’s mom is not as bad as it is in this fanfic so: I’m sorry Mrs. Howell.
Enjoy!! (tumblr) || (ff.net) || (ao3)
Full Prompt:
(by crazy_phanatic) Could it be about phan and dalia maybe her wedding and some family drama between Dan and his mom I don’t know just playing through that situation in my mind. Maybe dalia is uncomfortable in her body and she only had one friend who gets it and so do her dad of course but then she marries that friend and at first there might be some trigger till Dan and Phil find out maybe like she cutting and wrapping her chest dressing like a guy at least until Dan and Phil find out and help her Change?
A/N: Second chapter after so long wow. (I thought I had posted this last week but no. #lol with my life, sorry u.u) Is a bit short (explanation at the end) but I think is good that way. Also, I just got out of a writer block (thanks for the comments on the last one ♥) so bear with me pls.
Enjoy your reading!
And if you need a friend..
Chapter 2: Existential crisis and a worried dad
(Dan’s POV)
They say depression is hereditary. There are documentaries, books and psychologist talking about it. And it’s not as if I have ever gone with a specialist and prove that /the existential crisis/ are episodes of depression or something alike. Or as of Dalila has even my blood, for that matter. But, the simple thought of her dealing with the same thing terrifies me.
After all, Phil is always saying we are alike.
And yet when I love how sarcastic she is, I do not want my daughter going through an existential crisis or depression.
We don’t talk about it, not directly, at least. (We are also as bad at expressing our feelings) but. I’ve always know when she is having “a moment”, as she calls it.
I know that when she worries her lip between her teeth, wraps her right arm around herself and plays with the hem of her clothes with her other hand, that she is thinking to much. Thinking about the how’s and when’s and why’s about life.
Thinking about how bad she looks when she sees herself in the mirror because… I don’t know why she thinks that, to be honest. But even when she doesn’t say it I know that my theory is true. Especially when I complement her with a “You’re beautiful enough, you don’t need a big sparkly dress to look good” and she still has that look on her blue eyes. A sad look that says she wants to believe me but just can't.
But besides that I earn a shy smile from Dalila and a look of ‘stop talking; let me choose her dress’ from my mother who is sitting next to me. I don’t even know why we incited her… Oh right! We didn’t. She just incited herself.
Typical.
TBC...
SO. This is definitely shorter, but I didn’t really wanted to extend this one more, you know, just letting Dan’s thought out and stuff. I think I’m jumping the wedding (as in not doing a chapter specifically for it) but I’m working in the next one right one and we will get to know more about Dal and Jude’s relationship *^* (he is cute, I promise and you gonna like him… I hope.)
Anyways. The author note is longer than the chapter lol. Tell me your thoughts and all, okay? Any kind of feedback is always welcome.
You can also request something if you want *wink wink*
I did write phan before (xx)
Thanks for reading and see ya’ soon with the next chapter!!!!
If someone ask you to describe anxiety or what you feel as you get an /anxiety moment/ how would you describe it???
I’m trying to do a paper about this but I am really bad explaining things, soooo can you help me???
UPDATE:
Since I’m suppose to do a public presentation of this (or any other theme, really) but really don’t want bc anxiety I’m goin to do the paper about how important is to know how much you can /fight/ and be confortable with the things you do because of your health.
So, also, if you have any opinions on this let me know, please?? :)
I’m going to be a teacher and I’m NOT going to force the students to participate in class if they don’t want to
Because I know about the anxiety you get
Because I know how your mind goes blank, you forget everything you know and then everyone thinks you aren’t paying attention (or are stupid, at least you think so)
Because I know about how shake-ish you get, that even sometimes people notice and you feel so powerless (‘cause is /a sign of weakness/, says your brain )
Because I know how nervious you are about stumble, and that even when you do your best you end doing it and then feel stupid about it (you blame yourself even though it’s not your fault )
Because I know that sensation you get when you think people is judging you ( you feel their eyes on you and is horrible)
Because I’m one of those persons that if wants to participate does it and if not just prefers to go unnoticed
Because I hate when people obligates me to participate when I don’t want to, it makes me uncomfortable and is cruel
is cruel to force people to do things they don’t want to
Title: Haunting Memories
Chapter: 3/?
Fandom: Glee, Niff
Pairing: Niff [Nick Duval x Jeff Sterling]
Word Count: 1,636 (this chapter) (can we apreciate the 36 there? thanks..)
Summary: Nick Duval and Jeff Sterling got married when they were eighteen without listened to people who said it was a bad idea. Shortly after they realized it actually was and that not everything is like on fairytales.
Jeff moved to LA and makes it big on the music industry.
Nick went to college at NY and became a teacher.
Five years later both are back at Westerville and divorced… or aren’t they?
((bassed on a tumblr prompt))
Warnings: Boys liking boys, there maybe swearing. Someone says the word /kinky/ in this one, but like as in a joke. Maybe smut on the future.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Nick or Jeff, neither Curt or Riker or any other member of R5 or other persons mentioned… sadly. I’m not saying anything of this is real and of course I mean not warm by writing this.
Enjoy!! (ff.net) || (ao3)
Chapter #3 :: Memories of new friends
A/N ((a very large one, sorry!!!))
Aloha!(? Sorry, I always say /see you soon/ and it takes me like a month to update. The thing is that although I have some chapters written (five at the moment, to be exact) I have them on a notebook and I always procrastinate when it comes the moment to type, edit and post them, so SORRY FOR BE LIKE THAT!
Anyways, there are some new character this time (*points at title*) first some cannon/oc (bc they are on the show but this is my version??): Sebastian Smythe and Hunter Clarington, Seb is –was?– a warbler, but Hunter didn’t, he didn’t even attended to Dalton on this fic (such oc.. much au)
Then, there is Crystal and Nathan. Both are young reporters, and soon enough you are going to find out what are their roles on this story (or just read the tumblr post from where this fic is based on.. idk if you want K)
Enjoy your reading!!! (finally)
“Damn you, Nathan!” the girl says as he goes into the reporters brake-room.
“What did I do now?” Nathan asks worriedly, but when he sees who is the person is like if all possible blame is washed off of his body and excitingly adds, “What did he said? Is someone there, right? I knew it!”
Crystal stops his victory party by punching his arm with all her strength, which isn’t much, honestly. “I was yelled by Lauren for your stupid ideas, you idiot!”
“What? What happened?” the guy asks, rubbing his arm as if it was in actual pain.
“Well, I did what you say and asked Jeff if there was /“someone special in his life”/” she explains, marking the air quotes with her fingers. “He said there isn’t and that he thought there wasn’t going to be personal questions. I made a joke and continued with the interview, but it was obvious he was taken aback by the question. Oh, but the worst part was that Lauren freaking yelled at me! I thought she was going to fire me!”
“/He was taken aback by the question/…” Nathan repeats receiving other hit from the girl.
“Is that the only thing you got?!” Crystal groans.
“Yes?... I mean, no! no, no… I’m sorry I got you in trouble…” he corrects, giving her one of his best smiles, “And when I get the exclusive I’m going to mention you for doing this, I promise.”
“You better do.” She threatens.
~~~~~~~~ (a/n: this means change of /scene/… narration? How do I call this?)~~~~~~~~~
“Are you saying I’m not special for you?”
“Shut up, Bas! Of course you are, but not in the way she meant it.” Jeff explains to his friend, rolling his eyes at the fake pain in his voice.
After the band finished the interviews of the day, everyone was free to do whatever they wanted and so Jeff decided to video-call Sebastian, because even if he doesn’t admit it, after a week without his friend’s snarky comments, Jeff was starting to miss them. Also he needed someone to talk about the awkward interview he had and the problems he is sure he is in now.
“Because you don’t want it, Jeffrey.” Sebastian winks at him, receiving the typical /‘fuck off, jerk’/ look from the blond. “Okay, okay… I’ll stop.” He /apologize/.
“Thanks,” says Jeff before adding while chuckling, “I actually think she asked for you.”
“And why is it funny?” the brunet asks when his friend doesn’t stop laughing.
“Well, because is like… super impossible that I would date you.”
Is not the first time someone confuse them as a couple, with both of them with famous cares and always assisting to each other important events, their fans and lots of paparazzi have started to think they are dating. They don’t usually talk about it, is not real so they just opt for dismissing the subject when it is brought on interviews by making a joke or something alike. But because Sebastian likes to annoy Jeff, he pouts, brings one hand to his chest and pretend to be offended.
“Don’t look at me like that!” Jeff points his finger at his puppy-eyes through the computer screen. “You know what I mean.”
“Yes, yes, I know… I’m too much for you, blondie.” Sebastian jokes, dropping his act once again.
“Bas… I’m literally going to punch you when I see you if you don’t stop.” The blond seriously says, he is just trying to have a normal conversation, is that too much to ask?
“That’s kinky..” the other smirks.
Yes, is Sebastian Smythe after all.
“What’s kinky?” says a voice outside the screen, stopping the brunette’s laugh. “Are you watching porn without me?”
“Uhm, no, no… I’m just… no…” Sebastian stutters and Jeff is dying of curiosity to know who is the person that can make his friend’s eloquence go off and… wait..
“Are you blushing?” Jeff wonders really shocked because the last time he saw Sebastian blush was… well, never.
“No, I’m not!” he quickly denies, looking back at his friend.
“You kinda are, babe.” /the voice/ says. “But, umm, who are you talking to?”
“Oh, hi…” Jeff says, trying to contain his laugh at Sebastian’s face when the unknown guy takes the laptop and place it on his own lap once he sat down beside the brunette, moving the screen a bit so both of them fit on the shoot.
“Hello, there! Where you having fun without me?” he smirks.
“Hunt, is not what you think.” Says Sebastian with an expression Jeff has never seen on him.
“Is it not?” the guy (Hunt?) asks, looking back and forth at both friends, “Because I hear that you said kinky and here we are; blondie on the webcam and you on underwear.” He has lost his smirk and Jeff finally realizes what is happening.
“Whoa… No, no!” he shakes his head and his blond bangs fall in front of his eyes. He just doesn’t want the guy to misunderstand. “We weren’t having skype-sex! I didn’t even know Bas was on underwear; which is gross, you pervert!”
“You love it,” Sebastian naturally answers before cringing as he notices that doesn’t really help the situation. “I mean, no. You don’t. He doesn’t.” says looking at Hunt and then back at the laptop asking for help, “Jeff?”
“You are an idiot,” the blonde laughs at him. “Of course I don’t. Bas just has a problem thinking nobody can’t resist him even if he doesn’t reciprocate, and since I can he makes jokes about it all the time. But worry not, no kinky cam-sex underwear loving between us.”
There is a moment when nobody says anything, and Jeff thinks that only Sebastian could make him be on a situation like this and he wonders to himself how he even ended being friends with the ex-captain of the warblers.
.– Flashback –.
“Hello?”
“Uhm, hey… It’s Jeff.” The blond says, still wondering why he is doing this. /He is the only one who isn’t in touch with Nick/ a voice on his head remembers him.
“I know, cell phones give you the option to see who is calling.” The guy on the other end answers, and Jeff can’t tell if he is annoyed or just being his snarky self.
“Oh, right… sorry…” Jeff apologizes, although he is not sure why he does it.
After a few seconds of silence pass Sebastian breaks it, “So… did you called for something or just to say it was you?”
“I-I.. Uhmm.. I called for something, actually,” he is worrying his lips between his teeth as he talks, (stutters, more than anything), and is probably why his ex-classmate notices that he is nervous.
“Are you okay? Is Duval okay?” the ex-warbler asks a bit worried.
“… I guess, don’t really talk to him anymore.” Jeff honestly answers, he doesn’t have a clear idea of how explain his situation, but he guessed that could be a good start.
“Did you broke-up?” Sebastian asks and the blond nods before remembering the guy can’t see him through the phone.
“Yeah… that’s why I called, I need a favor.”
They have never really been friends, back at Dalton they just talked for projects from French class since they always ended on the same team because their last names were next to each others on the list. And although it was obvious both of them shared a passion for music the conversation about it only took place while they waited at the cafeteria for the other members of their team (if there were any), or if they finished class work before the bell rang (a thing that happened frequently since Sebastian was fluent on the language and Jeff wasn’t that bad).
But yet, there were just short conversation and most of the time it was about the song of the week the warblers were rehearsing, information the blond only knew because his boyfriend has a member of the glee club. Jeff would give his opinion (even if the other hadn’t asked for it) and Sebastian would listen, nod or shake his head. Sometimes Jeff made suggestions and then discovered the brunette had actually used them, like the time James got a special /dance solo/ on one of their presentations.
Even when everyone seem to dislike Sebastian, Jeff always acted kind around him because the warbler’s captain didn’t act exactly /mean/ around him either. So yes, they weren’t best friends at Dalton, or even confirmed at some point they were simply friends. It was more a classmate kind of type relationship and both of them where cool about it.
That’s why Jeff can’t help but been surprised when Sebastian accepts to help him without even asking for an explanation.
.– End flashback –.
/“He never does.”/ Jeff remembers to himself, /”But is always there if I need him”/
Bringing his attention back to the screen in front of him, Jeff notice both guys in the other side have completely forgot about him. And yet, when it isn’t the first time he sees his friend eye-fucking someone and vice versa, it still been uncomfortable for him.
“Umm..” Jeff clears his throat. “I’m just gonna go… Thanks for listening once again, Bas, and umm.. see ya’ soon.”
“Sure, you know I’m here to be sappy every now and then. And I hope Madd doesn’t kill you.” Sebastian says only half joking, Hunt (which Jeff is pretty sure is not his hole name but call him /’mystery guy’/ feels too weird) also says good bye before Jeff ends the call and shuts his laptop, moving it to the bedside table to get out and out of the hotel room to see Madd, his publicist and manager, hoping as same as Sebastian that his manager doesn’t kill him.
A/N: In the original draft this chapter didn’t included a lot explanation about Jeff and Sebastian friendship, but then I realized I needed a title and well… I like the idea of them becoming friends after school and Sebastian being nice just with Jeff because he never judged him for being sassy and flirty ?? I don’t know… Tell me what YOU think!!
Also!! I dunno if I should write more about huntbastian relationship, like.. why is Hunter on Seb’s room? How did they meet? Why the fans are crazy about Jeff and Sebastian but doesn’t comment on Hunter?
Would you like to know that? As in maybe make them a second couple on the fic? Or do you want them to be just kinda extras and just appear bc their relationship with Niff ???
I don’t know.. let me know what you want, okay??.. Please and thanks!!
Also (as always) any kind of feedback is always welcome.
You can also request something if you want *wink wink*
Thanks for reading and see ya’ soon with the next chapter!!!!
DOING A YOUTUBE CHANNEL WOULD BE GREAT! PLEASE DO IT
*gets exited* I AM DOING IT!! ^-^
I already created the acount for it, it’s called “galaxyminds;” (here a link if you want to subscribe, pls do) and I’m working on the first review!!!!
thanks for your message, btw :3 it made me smile ‘cause I love when people encourage me on my crazy ideas haha. Have a nice day!!
For people that don’t know what this is about and because I better take the chance for promo (lol) I’m talking about doing a youtube channel to review fanfictions (pretty much the things a booktuber does but with fanfics ??)
Here a link to a post where I explain it better !!!
So… I while back my sister asked me why I didn’t start a youtube channel as ‘Booktuber’, you know, do book reviews and all that jazz, since both of us like reading. I’d like that, BUT the only thing I read lately is fanfiction, because books are expensive af and I’m just a high school student without job LOL
And I thought, “hey! why don’t I do the same thing a booktuber would do but with fanfictions? There are tons of them, about everything and they are free, so everyone could read them if they want.”
Sooooo if you reading this think is a good idea let me know! Also, if you write or are also fanfic trash, send me an ask/message with a fic you would like me to review or something… I ship everything, tbh.
Thanks for reading!!! pls tell me this is a good idea, i’m begging u.u
(more detalis under read more :3)
SHIPS AND FANDOMS:
I feel like I should talk about the fandoms I’m in ???
Well, I’m part of the R5family but I don’t read to much fics on that fandom, idk why
1000000% Phan trash! Is pretty much what I read lately, since my main OTP (Niff) doesn’t have any new works I can read LOL
I’m youtube trash in general. (Tronnor, Troyler, etc, etc, ect.) (also gay shipper if you didn’t noticed yet xD)
I used to be a big klaine shipper, like in the begining of times, I still like them, tho.
Every couple on my mad fat diary is also otp, tbh.
I’m probaly missing lots of ships, like I said I ship everything, so... maybe if you have a ship and want to know if I ship them you should just ask me and I would tell you?
(You could probably show me a ship i don’t know anything about and I would probably end shipping them xD)
COULD YOU SEND ME FANFICTIONS TO READ?
Of course!!!
That would be great and I would love you for ever. You can either submit the link (tho, if you do this make sure you also send me an ask talling me you did so because tumblr sometime eats them) or you can send the name on an ask or the link/ name on the message thing-y.
THINGS I WOULD SAID ON THE VIDEOS:
I’m working on a list of things I would put on the videos, but it would be the basic of the fic (like name, rate, tiggers if it has, name of autor, links to the author and fic). my opinions and other could stuffs ^-^
I also would like to talk to the author if its posible, so if they have a comment about the fic I will add it. Or if it is a fic someone recomended to me I will said it.
Also, since I’m really into graphic design and all that, I would like to do like a /cover/ for the fanfic, add it on the video and also possibly post it here on tumblr.
WHERE THE VIDEOS WOULD BE UPLOAD:
On my /personal/ youtube channel. I’m putting things in order (aka changing to private some stuffs xD) So I’m not going to link it just yet.
--- If there is anything else you would like to know, feel free to send me an ask ^-^ ---
Title: Haunting Memories
Chapter: 2/?
Fandom: Glee, Niff
Pairing: Niff [Nick Duval x Jeff Sterling]
Word Count: 1,499 (this chapter)
Summary: Nick Duval and Jeff Sterling got married when they were eighteen without listened to people who said it was a bad idea. Shortly after they realized it actually was and that not everything is like on fairytales.
Jeff moved to LA and makes it big on the music industry.
Nick went to college at NY and became a teacher.
Five years later both are back at Westerville and divorced… or aren’t they?
((bassed on a tumblr prompt))
Warnings: Boys liking boys, there maybe swearing. Maybe smut on the future.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Nick or Jeff, neither Curt or Riker or any other member of R5 or other persons mentioned… sadly. I’m not saying anything of this is real and of course I mean not warm by writing this.
Enjoy!! (ff.net) || (ao3)
Chapter #2 :: Memories of first meetings
A/N: Welcome back! There is an R5 song mentioned on this chapter (again) it’s called Could have been mine aaaand yeah..
Enjoy your reading!
Is Saturday morning and Nick is sitting on the coffee shop on the town center, grading easies and drinking a cup of hot black coffee with almond milk. Thad, his best friend, is also there. Normally this is good, with both of them being English professors and making comments of theirs students’ works and all, but today Thad is being weird and, well, annoying; shifting on his sit, tapping the red market on the table… and Nick thinks that maybe he should had listened to his mother and stayed at home for once.
“What it is?” Nick asks, about to get insane with the other’s attitude.
“What?” Thad wonders back, as if he doesn’t know what his friend is talking about.
Chuckling, Nick shakes his head. “Just spill it, man. You’re making me crazy.”
“Is… just…” Thad rambles, looking intensively at his mochaccino to avoid Nick’s eyes. “You know how we were going to watch the game yesterday at your place??” he nervously asks.
Nick nods a bit confuse. When Thad canceled yesterday he sounded weird at the phone, not giving him a reason, and today he even paid Nick’s coffee as in making it up for the plan’s cancelation.
“Did you cancel because you went out with Sophie? Because that’s alright, don’t worry.”
And Thad knows that he could say yes, going out with Sophie could be a perfect excuse, Nick loves the girl and he wouldn’t be mad. But the black-haired guy has always been honest with Nick, they are best friends after all, and so he tells the true. “Not really. I went out but not with Sophie…”
“What? Wait… you are not cheating on her, right?” Nick wonders, “Because I swear that if you are I’m gonna ki-“
“NO! I’m not cheating. I will never.” His friend cuts him.
The brunet lets out a relieve breath before asking. “So… why did you say no to the game last night?”
“Ahmm…” and Thad is nervous once again. “”Because… well… blackpearlhadaconcertatMiller’sand-“ He burst all of the sudden and Nick stop him because he isn’t understanding anything.
Thad takes a deep breath and explains again, now making pauses between words. “I went to a concert with David and Wes at Miller’s… A Black Pearl concert.” Nick doesn’t say anything and so Thad adds, “Listen, I’m sorry I canceled but I wanted to see Jeff but…” Thad looks at his friend, his silence scarring him, “Nick? Don’t be mad, please.”
“No, no… I-I am not mad.” Nick gets out of his little chock.” But…” he clears his throat, “I had things to do, place to be, you know? I have to go.” He says, practically running out of the shop… Because He is in town.
Nick place the easies on the passenger seat as he gets in his car, deciding he would read them later. Or before Monday classes at least. Pug-ing his cellphone at the stereo of his car, Nick quickly finds the playlist he is looking for and clicks “PLAY”.
He would be laying if he says he hasn’t listen to Black Pearl’s songs in all this years, and he doesn’t have to say anything because mostly of the people avoid every conversation that includes Him, which Nick really appreciate.
“After all those years of trying,
you think I’d have a clue.”
As he starts driving, Nick almost laughs at how that song could totally describe them.
“I missed my tears
and you’re moving to someone else,
not me.”
That Jeff had cheated wasn’t really something he thought about, but the possibility was there and even if there wasn’t someone back then, probably he is dating someone now.
“Could have been,
should have been mine”
But He isn’t, Nick remembers to himself, as he keeps relating the lyrics to the song to them as he drives to his parents’ house, and yes, he feels a little stupid doing it because it’s not about them, it couldn’t be.
When he arrives to his destiny, Nick walks straight to his room, (ignoring his mom’s question about why he is there earlier) and throws himself into the bed, not even bothering on taking his shoes off. He just looks at the white ceiling before groaning and covering his eyes with his arm. It’s 10 a.m. but perhaps if he sleeps he is going to stop thinking about Him and so he can grade his student’s works.
And for the next almost four hours the only thing Nick is able to dream about are memories of their last month as a couple, for his bad luck, the worst ones.
. – Flashback – .
“Well, if that’s what you want so much then you should do it!” Nick screams. he has always know about his husbands dreams and they have never bother him, but now, when he talks about them, is like if he were blaming Nick for them not been possible and the brunet is getting kind of sick of that.
“Okay, I will. Doesn’t matter if you agree or not, Nicholas.” Jeff says bittery, and Nick knows that the use of his whole name should be a warning that things were getting bad.
“Whatever…” but he dismisses it, not even bothering on follow the guy when he walks out of the room.
. – End Flashback – .
Nick wakes up all of sudden, heavy breathing and a bit confuse about where he is. He looks around, realizing he is in his room from when he was in high school, which only confuse him more until he remembers that he is staying back at his parents’ house to suplie a teacher at Dalton for a few months until she has her baby.
For a moment Nick thinks that it probably wasn’t the best idea, go back to Westerville after all that happened, but then he concludes that he needs the job, it gives him experience and money. Also he get to see his parents after so long, that’s a good thing, right?
Nick goes out of his room and down to the kitchen, looking for some food since the only thing on his stomach is a half cup of coffee. He makes himself a sandwich, deciding he is hungry enough to not care about the taste of the wholemed bread his mom buys.
Sitting on the living room, Nick darns the fact that his parents aren’t fans of technology; they have a computer and internet at home, but only because their work obligates them to. And the only thing Nick can watch without moving from the coach is local tv. And the only thing on local tv is bad soap operas and people talking about the local band that is back in town: Blak Pearl.
Maybe is a bit hash from him when he groands and complains to the girl on the screen about if they are the only news, it’s not that Nick isn’t glad to heard they made it, that their dreams came true, but it kind of hurts to realize how much different things are from when they played at Miller’s from the first time.
.– Flashback –.
“And… Do you like them?” Thad asks when the concert ends. The band played a few covers and one original song. But the covers are from bands nick is fan of and the song wasn’t bad, so he answers with a nod.
“Yes, they are good.”
“Thanks, we try.” Says a voice behind him, Nick turns around to find a member from the band.
“Uh… you’re welcome.” He smiles awkwardly, not really sure how to take the fact that the guy just listened their conversation.
“Oh, Nick, this is Jeff.” Thad introduce them, and it makes Nick feel les weird to know his friend knows the blond. “Jeff, this is Nick… Actually, I thought you already knew each other.”
“We do.” Jeff answers at the same time Nick shakes his head.
Thad chuckles, Nick is confuse and when he looks at Jeff he is almost sure he sees him blush.
“Jeff goes to Dalton, too.” His friend explains him.
“Yeah, uhmm… we have physic together at second period.” The blond adds and Nick can’t help but feel bad.
“Sorry, it normally takes me three periods to wake up.” Nick excuse himself, only half joking.
“And a cup of coffee,” Thad adds with a laugh, “Seriously, not talk to him if he hasn’t had coffee first.”
.– End Flashback –.
Nick brings his attention back to the television as the same girl from before, now interviewing the members of Black Pearl, asks, “So, Jeff, is there someone special in your life?”
The camera focus on say blond and Nick can tell this question makes him nervous, (he shifts on his seat and his checks turn a low shade of pink; just like when Nick didn’t recognized him), and before he answers, Nick goes back to the soap opera on the other channel, not really wanting to know if there is someone on Jeff’s life or not.
TBC… On the majority of the niff fics I’ve read Nick is the one on a crush on Jeff or both of them like each other. That’s why I decided to make Jeff the one who has (or had bc flashback) the crush on Nick.. Idk.. Did you like it? What do you think about it? Go to my askbox and tell me, pwease?? Any kind of feedback is always welcome.
You can also request something if you want *wink wink*
Thanks for reading and see ya’ soon with the next chapter!!!!
Title: And if you need a friend..
Chapter: 1/3? (not sure, it could be more, maybe?)
Fandom: Phandom
Pairing: Phan, and Dalila x Jude (I guess I should tag that?)
Word Count: 1,295
Summary:
They say weddings can be dramatic, but in Dalilas case is after her wedding with her best friend Jude when everything really explodes.
Or the one when Dalila Howlter is uncomfortable with her body but no one really knows apart from her best friend. At least until things get rough after they get married, Dal is not talking with him anymore and so Jude, desperate for help, contacts her fathers Dan and Phil.
((Full prompt inside))
Warnings: briefly description of panic attach and anxiety. Self-hated? ‘Cause she has thrust issues and doesn’t like her body. I will say, read the prompt request and notes first and then decide if you want to read it. In case you could have some triggers that I didn’t mention here. Be safe!
Disclaimer: I don’t own Dan or Phil, sadly. Although Dalila is all mine. I’m not saying anything of this is real and of course I mean not warm by writing this.
Enjoy!! (tumblr) || (ff.net) || (ao3)
Full Prompt:
(by crazy_phanatic) Could it be about phan and dalia maybe her wedding and some family drama between Dan and his mom I don't know just playing through that situation in my mind. Maybe dalia is uncomfortable in her body and she only had one friend who gets it and so do her dad of course but then she marries that friend and at first there might be some trigger till Dan and Phil find out maybe like she cutting and wrapping her chest dressing like a guy at least until Dan and Phil find out and help her Change?
A/N: Thanks for the prompt!! I may or may not omitted the self harm because is kinda a big deal for me to write it. Sorry? (Although we don’t get to that on this chapter) But I think I got everything else you, crazy_phanatic, asked for. So I hope you like it! ^-^
So I wrote on Dalila’s POV, at least this chapter ‘cause the second I started it on Dan’s. Dal is a fictional character and that means anything about this isn’t real (although I want Jude to be real cuz he’s cute :b)
(that was my disclaimer)
Also, because Dalila is the narrator I make her call Dan ‘dad’ and Phil ‘phater’ so we all could differentiate them. But really, can you imagine if they have a kid and they (as in the kid) call them (as in dan and phil) that because is they initials at the beginning and… “No, he is my dad and he is my phater… with ph” aaaaaaahh… So cuteeeee!
*takes a moment to calm down*
Enjoy your reading!
And if you need a friend..
(Dalila POV)
I don’t know how, when or why it started.
Was it for a comment someone said?
Was it when I was a kid? A teenager?
Was it because I have always known it is true?
I shake my head, as it to clean my mind. No, not today. I said to myself as I try concentrated on other things, like the way the water trickles down the window or the sound of Muse old song that plays through the car’s speakers or how my Dad is talking to me about – wait, “What?” I wonder at loud.
“Manners.” reprimands my grandma, who is sitting beside me on the car.
I’m about to correct myself when I see on the rearview mirror how my dad rolls his brown eyes and, ignoring his mother, he repeats. “You don’t want that dress, right? I mean, I think you should pick one with more… fabric? Like, it would look better. Not that you wouldn’t look good in that one, you always look beautiful, but–“
“You are rambling again, love.” Say my phater with a chuckle. I laugh too, because is kind of cute when dad does that.
I look at the picture of the dress he is talking about on the wedding magazine grandma has on her lap and, thankfully, a groan stays on my throat. “Uhmm.. I guess I’ll have to try it on and see.” I say, hopping that answer pleases everyone. That’s what I always do.
“Helpfully they don’t have it on the shop…” Dad mumbles, shearing a wink with me by the mirror making me chuckle.
It’s not that the dress is ugly, but it’s… too much. Or less, if you are Dan Howell describing it. (Seriously, didn’t they have more fabric?) It’s strapless with a heart-shape neckline and really tight everywhere except knees and down. I guess is what people call “siren form” and I decide it’s not my type. I’m not Ariel.
~-~-~-~-~-~
“Do you want to show them?” asks the blonde assistant of the bridal-dress shop. Surely she can tell am debuting because she adds with a smile, “It looks pretty on you.”
And I know it suppose to be a good thing, a compliment, but it only made me self-conscious. What am I doing? I don’t like this, don’t like dresses at all… even if the look pretty on me. I look at my reflection on the enormous mirror in front of me… maybe it could work. It is pretty.
‘The dress, not you.’ Says a voice in my head. And really, who am I kidding? I wouldn’t look pretty even in a two thousand pounds dress.
I catch Maddy’s (that’s the name her tag reads) eyes on the mirror, put my thoughts aside and nod, “Yes, I’ll do it.”
We walk out of the room to where my parents and grandma are waiting. It’s difficult, I realize, walk with this type of dress. Is tight but not the tight-jeans kind of way, is more a my-legs-are-tied-together-please-help way. And I decide for the second time that this is not what I want to buy.
“And?” my phater asks after a couple of minutes of silence.
“I don’t know… it feels weird.” Please let me take it off!
“Do you wan– “
“I think you look beautiful!” grandma says, a big smile in her face and not even aware of dad’s grumpy face for being interrupted.
“Thanks…” I mumble, bringing my left hand to hold my right arm, covering my stomach. ‘You need to stop eating junk food.’
“You always do.” Both of my fathers say at the same time and I smile, although they can’t really see it because I’m looking down. This carpet is so interesting.
Maddy chuckles and with a polite smile she offers, “You can try other one if you want.”
And we do it. More than once actually, and I manage to find a problem with all of the dresses. Well, that part of me that is always conscious of the way I look.
Being honest, this problem is mostly that the clothes are tight, with low necklines, lacy, pearls and big skirts. They make inevitable to show more skin that I normally do with my jeans and t-shirts. They shape my body in the way my hoodies always cover. They bring attention to me, making me want to hide behind my dad’s legs like when we went to Disneyland and I was afraid of Goofy.
They make me feel anxious.
I look at my reflection on the mirror on the changing room. My blue eyes look crystalline for the tears that are treating to fall, and although I can’t see myself shaking (which I know I’m probably am) I can see my thorax moving really fast for my hard breathing.
Trying to control it before Maddy gets back, I take a big breath through my nose and hold it.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Fi- I let the air out of my body as I exhale when I hear my phone ringing. It’s a message from Jude, I notice, recognizing the ring ton.
“How is the dress haunting going? lol”
“Not that good.” I type, also adding a “lol” at the end… ironically.
But the thing about Jude is that even by text message he knows when it’s a legit ‘lol’. So it’s not really a surprise that his next text reads: “You don’t have to buy a dress, you know. It wouldn’t be a problem if you decide to wear pj’s… if you’re comfortable, (and used your bighero 8 ones), you would look just as wonderful J”
A smile makes its way to my lips without meaning to do it. That’s other thing I really love about Jude, that he always know what to say, he is good at reading and comforting me. And that’s why he is my boyfriend (fiancé, actually) but mostly my best friend since we were twelve.
Maybe it sound like a cliché (a bit stupid, also) but sometimes, even when I don’t get myself, Jude does. And I couldn’t be more grateful for having him in my life.
“Not a bad idea, but grandma wouldn’t approve.” I text him, getting back to reality and into my self-pity state where I can’t help but feel like even if I spend the next ten days on the store I won’t be able to find a dress that I can wear and look as good as the mannequin does.
“We don’t even need to have a wedding if you don’t want to.”
I know he is trying to help, and it isn’t as if I really don’t want all of what the ceremony includes. Because I’m as stereotypical as that, and I want a celebration with my prince charming where we tell how much we love each other in front of our families and friends, a big cake that hopefully doesn’t end all in our clothes and a first dance as an officially-official-couple.
I also gave memories from the first year we met when he said he wanted that exact thing; a beautiful, romantic wedding, a lovely family and a cute dog named Fred.
“Thanks. But I do, we’ll just probably have to postpone it until next year when I’m able to find a dress xD” I type back, adding a little humor because I don’t feel as bad as ten minutes ago after thinking on my future with Jude.
“Or we can do it this weekend on our pj’s xD”
“Or we can do that haha”
I’m smiling at my phone when Maddy comes back with what I feel is the fifty dress, and I really start thinking on just drop everything and go on my big hero pajamas. They are cool enough for that.
TBC...
Did you like it? what do you think about it? Go to my askbox and tell me, pwease?? Any kind of feedback is always welcome.
You can also request something if you want *wink wink*
I did write phan before (xx)
Thanks for reading and see ya’ soon with the next chapter!!!!
can you imagine if Dan and Phil have a kid and they (as in the kid) call Dan dad and Phil phater, because is they initials at the beginning and… “No, he is my dad and he is my phater… with ph” ?? Can youuuu?????
