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aqueerkettleofish

As a side note… I am really annoyed by one thing about Star Trek.

“Replicated food is not as good as real food.”

That’s ridiculous. In Star Trek, replicator technology is part of the same tech tree as transporters. Replicated food would be identical to the food it was based on, down to the subatomic level.

covington-shenanigans

Proposal for a Watsonian explanation:

In a blind taste test, nobody, but nobody, can tell the actual difference between replicated food and “real” food. (Think back to our youth and the New Coke vs. Pepsi taste tests, only worse.) BUT, humans being What We Are, the human Starfleet members insist that “real” food is better than replicated food for reasons including, but certainly not limited to:

1. Hipsters have survived even into the 24th century. “No, you just can’t make good curry from a replicator! You gotta toast the spices yourself right before you cook it or it’s not the same, maaaaaan”

2. All military and para-military members everywhere always grouse and bitch about the food and sigh over What We Get Back Home. It could literally be the same replicator recipe you use at home when someone has to work late or just doesn’t feel like making the effort to cook, but people are people everywhere so they’re going to complain about it.

3. Humans tend to think we’re smarter than we actually are and we can totally tell when something is going on; as a result, human crew members insist they can “taste the difference” because their minds are making shit up, as our brains do.

4. One could presume that, generally speaking, a replicator recipe programmed into a starship or base replicator database would come out the same every time. This is perhaps the 24th century equivalent of mass catering. (I won’t try to account for the nuances of replicator tech that might allow for variances, and leave aside for the moment the fact that some people probably tinker with the standard “recipes” to suit their own taste.) The single thing that would be different in this case about “real” food is the variation, since of course the “real” dish will have slight variances every time due to the whims of the cook, the oven temperature fluctuation, freshness of ingredients, etc.. And since we are an easily bored species who really, really hates boredom, I bet people would jump all over that to lament the lack of “real” food when they’re out exploring strange new worlds and new civilizations and whatnot. (This is the only reason I can think of that might hold up to scrutiny.)

The Vulcans in Starfleet (and Data), of course, remain baffled by this human insistence that “replicator food isn’t as good as ‘real’ food”, as it defies all known forms of logic.

aqueerkettleofish

Hmm. This is a fair point. It occurs to me that I once met a Texan who commented that the chili in a restaurant I worked at was not as good as what they made in Texas, and when I pointed out that the cook was a Texan and the chili was his personal recipe, for which he had won awards in Texas, just said “Doesn’t matter. Wasn’t made in Texas.”

I gotta be honest, Replicator technology is one of the things I am SUPREMELY jealous of, and I’m… okay, I’m not a great cook, but I can cook and there are several dishes I do very well. I think if I had access to the technology I would cook a lot less, though, and I would for sure use replicated ingredients.

math-is-magic

1. It is not just hipsters that act like this about food. All the grandmothers I know feel this way too, and I don’t see that ever changing.

mermaidelephant

The missing ingredient is love, obviously. You can’t get that from a replicator.

aqueerkettleofish

Right, for that you need the holodeck.

lemonsharks

Okay so, we’ve missed a few things that I think are relevant here:

The replicator or replicator + holodeck combo can’t recreate the experience of cooking, nor can it recreate the experience of being cooked for. And that experience makes food taste better.

Cooking is what makes us human. No other species on this wet rock cooks its food–only us.

First: if you’re making lamb stew, or phở, or mole, or curry goat, you spend hours puttering around the house doing chores in a cozy sweater, periodically petting the cats and playing with the kids, waiting an anticipating the hour in which you get to eat the soup. All the while: your house smells like lamb stew, or phở, or mole, or curry goat.

You get a tamale from the replicator: it’s pretty good. You wish it came with a green olive with the pit still in like the kind your abuela puts in her tamales.

You get a tamale from the tamale lady on the way to work on a clear, crisp fall morning. It’s so hot from her steamer that it nearly burns your fingerprints off and it smells divine; you use all of your Spanish to tell her how good it is and how grateful you are that you pass her every day. On a whim, you buy 30 more tamales to share with the office; they’re still warm at lunch and they taste like friendship.

You get a tamale from your abuela. It’s Christmas Eve, your entire family has spent the last seven hours making them, your tio Juan just busted out his tuba and it is definitely too hot outside for the fake snow your baby cousins have started throwing at each other in between begging to open just one present and if you don’t hurry up you’re all going to be late for mass.

The tamale tastes like home.

You get a tamale from the replicator. Its neural network reviewed your order against every known tamale recipe and variety and decided that your addition of “green olive, pickled, pit in” was a mistake, and omitted it.

Your tamale tastes like homesickness. You ball-up the corn husk and

Second: The replicator is probably not accounting for regional variations in ingredients for its base foods.

The ingredient library may have jalapeno, red; jalapeno, green, jalapeno, (color slider), (heat slider). It probably does not have: jalapeno, Hatch new mexico, USA, earth, sol system; or jalapeno north face Olympus Mons Mars, sol system. Replicator Parmesan is very likely a scan of a Parmesan and doesn’t duplicate regional variations between, say, a Parmesan from Mantua vs a Parmesan from Parma.

Did your grandmother use san marzano tomatoes that were actually grown in san marzano in her red sauce (, canned, peeled, whole in juice)? Sucks to be you, the replicator scanned a hydroponically grown plum-type tomato which environment was carefully controlled for optimal nutritional value and “pretty good” taste.

Is the replicator cilantro a kind bred or genetically engineered for maximum palatability across the broadest spectrum of individuals? Is it missing the gene that makes some people taste soap when they eat it? Is that gene the one that makes it taste good to you, so that the replicator chimichurri is always missing something, some particular specific type of freshness, a unique vegetal taste that you can’t put your finger on, and it’s not important enough to track down when you just like the chimichurri you make at home, from cilantro your grew yourself, much better?

Third: The recipe database is probably sourced from hundreds of thousands of recipes written over centuries’ time – and then averaged using a combination of median and modal averaging to come up with something that’s Pretty OK to most people, but which is going to leave others wanting–no matter how much they tweak it.

And then you have many, many people in a state of, “yes but I like my/mom’s/spouse’s/grandparent’s/aunt’s/uncle’s/best friends better”. And that’s OK.

I mean, really. Think about this for a minute.

Fourth:

You go to get a cup of tea from the replicator, because everything is terrible. You know in the darkest depths of your soul that everything will still be terrible with a good cuppa in your hands, but it will be terrible and you’ll have tea, which is a marked improvement.

The replicator gives you a glass of brewed, iced sweet tea.

It takes you three more tries to get a cup of hot earl grey. You decide you’ve finished pressing your luck with this positively infernal machine today and don’t even bother asking for a lemon wedge.

If that doesn’t indicate that the replicators were programmed by an American, I don’t know what does.

taraljc

holy shit boo this is fucking AMAZEBALLS and I miss the tamale ladies at Stone on the way to the Target so much right now but also you *hugs you tight*

whitepeopletwitter

gaysemiotics

seoscribbles

zetabrarian

Sure wish I was seeing this one circulating more than the other ones without the information literacy component.

So here I am, circulating it.

andatsea

Listen well darling, you’ll hear the world turning.

–

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invisiblespoon

You know you're European when:

They have to defuse a WW2 bomb in your city and nobody is really concerned because that happens from time to time.

margotapproves-blog

WHAT #noteuropean

lynnerdo

dude there’s entire fields in the west part of Belgium that just has a small “Watch out, mine field” on it, and sometimes farmers don’t know and put cows on it and they get blown up. Shit happens. #WW2

scienceoftheidiot

Happens because of WW1 (WW2 too but there’s less stuff left) in northern France too.

Almost walked on a non explosed pair of shells while looking for mushrooms.

scyllaya

I was born in a small town in south Hungary… they didn’t just find one WW2 bomb somewhere around the town… they found 1200 bombs right outside the town in 2014.

Yes, around 1200 German SD-1 fragmentation bombs… only found in 2014!

wordsformurder

I love those radio announcements. This part of the city, along with this highway and also, all trains going through, are going to be shut down on Saturday afternoon because bomb.

And all anyone bitches about is the detour they’re forced to take because if it didn’t blow up the past 71 years, they could have waited another week to defuse it, couldn’t they? Eugh.

pheuthe

there’s a flood? oh hello forgotten WWII ammunition in large quantities you go take a walk in the forest? oh hey WWII mine! kids play football in a field? good thing they didn’t kick that mine they found. someone actually looks through the old metal parts in a salvage yard? anti-aircraft mines! tbh nobody usually makes a great fuss because it very rarely actually hurts someone. but yeah until now I was always like ‘lol another one’ and never thought about it much XD

wolfvesinwinter-deactivated2017

There’s a roadblock in the middle of the city? Oh no worries it’s just a bomb. A whole block gets evacuated? Oh no worries. Bomb. #LifeinGermany

duncan-rohanne

same in czech… we literally have closed forests where no one can go, because mines everywhere and lol, our neighbor was building water well on his garden last year and he is digging and digging and then he hits something solid, surprise it’s a wwii bomb…

magog83

Here’s one being detonated in Yorkshire in 2009 (from WW2)

dshfgwrwfbdwawfuewgsfdbl

Wtf are you guys ok

damnit-bones-deactivated2018120

Yeah it’s fine, this shit is essentially gossip material and nothing more

elena-cat-empress-of-all-deacti

We had one in our city recently(ish). If I recall right they evacuated a student accommodation or something, and they watched it get detonated.

It was more like a social event than trouble.

kakumei-no-tomoshibi

You all sound so surprised that we still have some bombs around from being LITERALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF TWO WORLD WARS.

nestofstraightlines

I feel like the US - and fair enough - don’t quite get how present and clear the effect of the world wars is in Europe.

Like I was in TK Maxx in Balham today failing to find any decent bras. As I went in I glanced around and noted not for the first time how there’s this really distinct break in the style of buildings along that road. This is why:

At 8.02pm on 14th October 1940 a German bomb was dropped directly on Balham Underground station. The torn-off shopfronts are where the TK Maxx is now.

My other stop before getting home was at the Lidl on the corner of my street. Why was there space to build a supermarket there in the first place? Because it was a bombsite.

London was a bombsite.

That’s every explosion in London during the Blitz.Around 10% of dropped bombs are estimated not to have exploded. They’re still digging them up all the time. Last year London City airport had to be closed down while two unexploded V2s were dealt with

There are areas in northeastern France which are still off-limits to humans because of the huge number of unexploded shells and mines the toxicity of the soil from World War One, called Red Zones.

War really fucks a place up.

xantissa

I feel like people really don’t understand the difference between a war some county is waging somewhere else and a war that happen right on top of you.

Any bit of grassland or field you dig in Europe or in my example Poland will yield you some ammo or a piece of a bomb within first 15 min of digging.

There was this American show about treasure hunters working with metal detectors that wanted to shoot an episode here looking for some meteorites. They gave in after the first day because the detectors kept wailing non stop. They found a lot of ammo and rusted out guns.

It’s not just bombs, it’s also things like : oh, bus fell into a hole!

The hole turned out to be a secret ww2 bunker that nobody knew existed that caved in.

marywitchjane

Well also fun fact: In Kraków Poland, the New road can’t be finished for three months bc first they found a bomb under the surface and now they found like very old part of the wall that was around Krakow hundreds years ago. So yea

ilikesallydonovan

Also, parts of the country that were bombed heavily will laugh at parts of the country that were bombed less heavily. Couple of years ago there was a 250kg bomb blown up in Munich and they were making a loooooot of fuss (they also had to call in the bomb disposal unit from somewhere else because they don’t have local ones). That bomb was all over the media, especially the media based in Munich. Meanwhile, I’m from a more heavily bombed part of Germany (because we’re more northern, so closer to the UK where they sent the bombers from), and here a 500kg bomb being blown up only makes the local news. It happens literally often enough that it’s not seen as something that’s overly newsworthy, apart from informing possibly affected people about when it either gets diffused or blown up (or carted off). So you can imagine how we all laughed about those Southerners that were losing their shit over something as mundane as an unexploded bomb.

rebecca2525

I live in a building that has a visible crack right through the middle. A WW2 bomb went into the courtyard and got stuck in the basement, though it didn’t explode. And yeah, some cities were almost completely annihilated during the war.

weirdlandtv

Animation art from the GHOST IN THE SHELL series. So well done…

pixalry

Single Dad - Created by Bima With Pencil

Prints available for sale at the artist’s shop.

notamuused

🍂

redactedshapes

another strip commissioned by Euro_Salamander!

steampunktendencies

This Fantastical Dragon Bench Was Carved Using A Chainsaw

steampunktendencies

Master of the books

by Waldemar Bartkowiak

theartofanimation

Nikhil Shinde - https://nekzart.blogspot.com.es - https://www.facebook.com/NEKzART - http://sketchoholic.com/nekz - https://www.behance.net/nikhilshindeart - https://twitter.com/nekzart?lang=es