Quintessentially Me

I enjoy a plethora of entertainment and music especially anime! I'm a deep thinker and I hope as I post you will think as well.

[twoamaranth]

☁️「bts!au」Yuri on Ice “he never fails to surprise me”

[gamzenquinten]

The Catholic Youth and The Trans King

Hey guys I did my speech project today, and I essentially came out to my class through it. I did this speech to express how you cannot expect for someone to always accept you. One person being in a minority group does not automatically lead to them being open minded about others. Let me know what you think!

Trigger Warning!!! There are slurs in this speech used for emphasis. 

Faggot, butt-boy, fairy, and queen were words I never uttered when my friend told me he was gay. He received nothing less than the support and love his heart so desperately thirsted for. Naively, I assumed that the same courtesy would be extended to me, but one’s love is not always reciprocated by others.

From a young age I realized I differed from other people, but my vocabulary did not include the term transgender. When I was 14, I decided to come out to my best friend who was gay. My legs burned from the lactic acid building in my legs from peddling.  Drums from a heavy Japanese rock band reverberated through my ears encouraging me to push on towards my destination. When I arrived, he offered me a small meal to take on our usual venture.

Walking around our prison claiming to be paradise, we exchanged anecdotes about school and friends old and new. As the trees grew denser and the sidewalk gave way to newly broken dirt my additions lessened in number. He asked me why?

Four years of friendship shattered in front of me. He labeled me a them rather than a me, and I could not refrain from responding in a passionate manner. I was enslaved to fear and in my bondage I bend to its will  by  causing me distress, but no one would label me other, inept or ill. With both our brows furrowed in anger I replied, “I supported you when you came out, and the hypocrisy of your statement reveals more about you than me. How can you call me friend with the same mouth that did just label me unworthy? I exist. You exist. Trans people are as valid as your sexuality.”

“Trans people are just attention seeking and sick,” the words of someone who ate my food, partook in my kindness, and cried on my shoulder. Prince understood my plight, “You're just a sinner I am told Be your fire when you're cold Make you happy when you're sad Make you good when you are bad.” Stabbing a person still wounds them even when it misses vital organs, and his words were that knife. Our friendship mingled with my blood as it christened the sizzling sidewalk. We were eviscerated, evaporated, and simply undone by these words. Et tu Brute? Of course you would Judas, O villain, villain, smiling, damned villain!

You cannot guarantee that someone will reciprocate your level of commitment nor your affection. Let your heart know no sorry from this, for your actions alone are all that you can control. Accept the silence of an empty room. Avoid comingling with toxic individuals to fill that silence. Pure empty, silent, and peaceful are what you should delight in.

[gamzenquinten]

Everyone this is 17 week video :D. 

[nickiforov-deactivated20170112]

[gamzenquinten]

18 Weeks on T! We need to embrace processes. Too often we expect instant results for a fine dining meal. You cannot make a steak in the same amount of time as top ramen. We are continuously growing, and I pray that others will live in each moment rather than the past or future. If you take care of your present there is no need to mull over the past or worry about the future. I want to be another positive voice on social media for trans people. Here is lost appreciating daily changes! #ftm #ftmfitness #ftmtransgender #trans #transgenderpride #trans #testosterone #blackftm #blacktransmen

[gamzenquinten]

My body is not to be taken and used out of context. My body is where I live.

Once again here we are talking about the media and transmen. We need to seriously examine the difference between positive and negative exposure. One of my recent posts talked about @itscharlierose    photo shoot and vision of inclusive Calvin Klein ads. We covered how his comfort with his body, autonomy in his exposure, and a genuine experience with a trans body that was not sexualized is positive exposure for the community. 

The issue with articles such as Buzzfeed is that they further the objectification of trans bodies, and we are forced into a box that contains only sexual  functions. We are not just sexual objects or ideas, and when, you have articles that include trans guys and list how they make you thirsty it is despicable. In the least, for now we need more robust media coverage of trans people in general, but the most powerful voices appear to only care for these problematic ideas. How do you move from a video such as “I’m Trans but I’m Not,” to 26 Trans guys who will make you thirsty? 

Individuals like @isupersheng , @pinkmantaray , @cayden-carter , and @infamousgabe share not only their physical journies but their emotional ones as well. When they speak of their transition I noticed how much of the focus is on loving their selves. @pinkmantaray always emphasizes how there is nothing wrong with having goals but but not we should not be obsessed with our bodies. We need to understand that physically changing is only a part of the journey. Those are the articles we need. Transmen sharing their whole story not just segments that talk about our bodies. 

As a community we need to start demanding and creating higher quality exposure. This exposure displays how we view our community and our expectations. You cannot tell me that we are not image obsessed in the trans community. Once we start to acknowledge that even in our safe haven we ignore our own people we can fight the media. We jump at an opportunity to interview Laith Ashley, but we forget to treat him as a human being once he is in front of us. He is asked the, “sexy people questions,” ignoring the larger themes of his journey and his intellect. The origin of our issues start and end in our community. We must value ourselves more. There is a void of meaningful trans representation, and we can change that. Hold these media outlets accountable. Make sure that you have permission to share photographs. Try to grow past problematic sexual fetishization of people. 

Thank you @mtv for giving a space for transmen like Leo to share their thoughts.

[dem0nday5-deactivated20250215]

I never saw a trans man on television or in a movie when I was a kid– and I watched a LOT of TV. I never even met another trans man until I was 14. I had only ever met two trans women before.

The first time I saw a trans man on television was Max from “The L Word.” We shared a similar gender identity, but we looked nothing alike. What about my race? What about my ethnicity? Where were the Asian trans men? Did they even exist? For a little while, I was convinced that I was the only one. I knew there had to be others out there, but I didn’t know where or how to find them.

But then I met another Chinese trans guy. And eventually, I was connecting with other East Asian trans men on Tumblr and here on Instagram. But there was a good three/four years between meeting the one other Chinese trans guy and connecting with the others–three to four years where I still felt like few of us really existed. It’s a crappy thing to feel like there is no one else like you.

This is why I share my story. This is why I post about my journey. I’ve always hoped that it would help promote respect and acceptance, but it’s more than that. Messages from other EA trans guys about how they’re happy to have found more EA trans men to talk to, how they appreciate seeing EA trans men tell their story– THAT is why I do what I do. Because I know what it’s like to feel alone, to feel like you are the only one. I know what is to see people who are supposedly like you, but are really nothing like you at all. And I what it’s like to wait to see yourself reflected in the media, but never to do so. I don’t speak for all EA trans men. I speak for myself and for the kid I once was. #ftm #transisbeautiful

[gamzenquinten]

This is why narratives of trans people of color are important!

[cineplicit]

[howtobeterrell-deactivated20141]

Look at how disgusted he is by the very notion that she could touch his hair too without permission

[setscarylazerstomaximumcaptain-]

Pay close attention folks.

VERY close attention folks.

This is the nature of everyone else vs. black people’s hair summed up in two gifs.

You touch ours willy-fucking nilly but are repulsed when someone DARES to invade your precious boundaries. I see you double standard, I fucking see you. 

[strugglingtobeheard]

For real. If you wouldn’t dream of allowing someone to do that to you, why are you doing it to anyone else?

[salobe246]

That head dip game is a lessons for all naturals

[brbjellyfishing]

[narr8or]

Back at it. Week one complete.

[gamzenquinten]

It is always good to others making progress towards their goals! 

[gamzenquinten]

The Humanity of Trans People

Another week another update, one thing has remained the same in our culture and media, the perpetuation of trans people as a commodity, policy, law, or ethical standard rather than people. Honestly, no matter what arguments or feelings you have you cannot deny that we are human beings. Human beings deserve dignity, love, and peace from harassment. Why are we only discussed in political, religious, or physical terms? 

When I speak to trans individuals I find out more than just “how trans” they are. Like anyone else we attend school, have families, desire to love people, work, write, play instruments, raise children, cry at movies, laugh at comics, ect. There are many more attributes to us than how attractive we are in comparison to cis people and our ability to pass. 

Sadly, when people find out that I’m trans their questions quickly become vapid and concern what surgeries I have had and what I plan to do with my body. No one has the right to ask and feel entitled to answers to these invasive questions. In a moment my humanity is lost, and I am now an experiment under a microscope. Instead you could have asked me what am I studying in school. You would have found out that I am writing a novel, going to New York and Washington DC for my honors capstone course, pursuing medicine, pursuing research, interested in seminary, and that I want to work with Pediatric Oncology patients. Instead, you want to know about my genitals and if I am going to use them with someone. 

To be honest, most of the interactions where these questions come up are sexual harassment. Let’s just be honest about that point. If you randomly asked any other individual about the surgeries they were having and commenting on their bodies you would be prosecuted. 

There is one more side to this conversation though. How other trans people try to minimize others to just their physical bodies as well. We as a community are image obsessed, and we have a tendency to shame those who do not pass. This is not thirst shaming. You can make people as thirsty as you please, but you should not use that to shame other people who will not receive that attention or are not interested in it. In fact, you should use your privilege to encourage others to ask questions beyond our looks. 

At the end of the day I just wish people saw me as human rather than trans. Being trans is not degrading, but being viewed as and treated as other is. We must strive for quality visibility that heals rather than harms. 

[digg]

[dem0nday5-deactivated20250215]

I’ve had these black shirts for a while, since before starting testosterone and top surgery. They’ve shrunk a lot in the last few years, haha, mostly in the sleeves and shoulders. I wore them very rarely before my medical transition, mostly because my binder was visible through them and my arms didn’t really fill the sleeves. They’re some of the only clothes I’ve kept since transitioning, along with the millions of white tee shirts I’ve got. Now, years later, they fit just right/bordering the line of almost-too-small.

I’m proud of my body. I may not always be the most confident in it, but I am so proud of the progress that I’ve made, physically and otherwise. Even if I don’t always *see* a ton of muscle growth, stuff like veins popping out and tighter sleeves help me know I’m on the right track. #ftm #trans #transman #transguy #transgender #transisbeautiful #hrt #testosterone #progress #growth #motivation #body #bodyconfidence #bodylove #selflove #fit #fitness #veins #ink #tattoo #ss

[gamzenquinten]

We need to believe in the process and be more body positive. We gain nothing by continuously putting ourselves down. I love following this guy on social media!

[gamzenquinten]

94 Days on T

Haircuts are important. They of course can help with passing, but their more important function is improving one’s self-esteem. Strive to find ways to express yourself and you will find relief. Also, I noticed the acne after I took these pictures, so I tried a different regimen that seems to work. 

For anyone that is curious, the haircut is a tapered fade with a part on the left. My hair is cut with clippers and edged up with a straight razor. My part also is done with a straight razor.  

[gamzenquinten]

92 Days on T

We must take time to survey the land. Each day we take steps forward, yet we forget that steps were taken yesterday. Simply, forgotten is the progress we made, so today, I am taking a moment to appreciate where I am in my journey. 

[dekustory]

Opportunities arise everyday for transgender people to go and educate cisgender people on the transgender community in the classroom, at LGBT panels or even in training seminars. Transgender educa...

I dedicate this post to Monica Loera, RIP.

[gamzenquinten]

Check out my friend’s Word Press! He puts out opinion pieces at least once a week! 

[gamzenquinten]

Oh look, I'm a Cis basher. Cis bashers are no better than those who make bold statements about anything else.

Love how you chose anonymous to make a statement. I’m not cis bashing. As a trans person some of the statements made by people are not only hurtful but hateful. Someone sounds sensitive.