Where nightmares are kinder than reality

Just collecting things like a crow. Or a dragon Any pronouns, call me Ruth

[we1rdsc1ence]

Fuck it [injects you with weird fucked up science goo]

┣▇▇▇═─

[h0]

ahhh!!! AHHH!!! (turns into this)

[memewhore]

[quillusquillus]

[toskarin]

posting 2016: you ever think about how in ten years we'll still be gay and online together

posting 2026: imagine, if you will, making a necklace from the bones in your hand. feeling them slowly become mundane, like stones, as time renders them unfamiliar to you. thought exercise now concludes

[ghostlyarchaeologist]

Leverage S01E06 The Stork Job.

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[nitewrighter]

Peer-reviewing tags by @dickwitch

[crittaslink]

[hiding my old man bite from the rest of the group] o-of course I'm fine! let's just keep going. the survivor's camp is right ahead and [spots someone I know] heh. I guess they let ANYONE in here!

[eatpussypraylove]

[cybelle-jessy]

[keikomivra]

JURASSIC PARK (1993) Dir. Steven Spielberg

[etirabys]

probably no one else finds this funny and I’m driving away my friends a fraction of a percent at a time every time I do it, but I think the height of comedy is when you react to an emoji with the same emoji in a chat medium that permits this

[transwarlock]

literally

[knottahooker]

to escalate this, react with multiple versions of the same emote because nine different servers all have it available:

[rosemary-for-remembrance]

[itsmeimcathy]

March: *starts*

Tumblr:

[prokopetz]

I will accept that housecats ordinarily do not hunt cooperatively, but whenever a mouse gets into my house, my cats will literally coordinate with each other to flush it toward me so I can grab it with my special Mouse Catching Glove and chuck into the field out back, so clearly it's a skill they can learn.

[froxictog]

My cat, meanwhile, carefully rotates so that she is facing directly away from the mouse at all times, because if she faced towards it, she might be obligated to do something about it.

[opencommunion]

how are westerners so thoroughly programmed that even when you see the violence of your empire, you parrot the same lies used to sell that violence. "bombing a school is wrong but the iranian people should be freed from the regime—" "abducting a president is wrong but the venezuelan people should be freed from the regime—" "starving people with sanctions is wrong but the cuban people should be freed from the regime —" the western people need to be freed from the regimes that brainwashed you, and I mean that

[feeshies]

Funny growing up in the late 2000s and seeing constant "don't text and drive" warnings, PSAs telling us to put our phones down behind the wheel, wait until you're home to send that text, a phone-distracted driver is a deadly driver etc etc

Only for modern car manufacturers to be like "we made the car a phone :) now you have to text and drive to change the radio station :)"

[seravph]

THEY KEEP ASKING ME IF I WOULD DIE FOR THEM AND I KEEP ASKING WHY THEY WANT ME DEAD

[dsmsix]

job interviews

[angeltiddies]

reverse gaslighting where i pretend to know exactly what you are talking about

[oneheadtoanother]

[bredforloyalty]

in the chillest possible way,