gardonhoes

i’m just a garden hose

[redstonedust]

if vampires existed in real life i think there would be shady companies advertising "organic blood" sourced from "willing donors" who are coincidentally all poor people being paid like $5 per blood donation. and like haughty vegan vampires who only drink a synthetic blood drink thats brewed in a way thats actively worse for the enviroment. and radical traditionalist vampires who go on tiktok and claim that true alpha chads have to drain and kill people and anyone who leaves their victims alive is a liberal cuck. enter the world of hypothetical insufferable vampire politics with me.

[solvuntur]

weird vibes aren't exactly rare at an antique mall but this one stall w/haunted energy had a sign with phrasing that has been stuck in my head for days lol

GIRLY STUFF FOR THE DAMSEL

BITS OF GLAMOUR FOR MADEMOISELLE

[07aa]

[rockpapertheodore]

You ever think about how we call toddlers that because they can't walk right. They toddle about. Fuckin idiots. Fuckin idiot steppers can't walk properly. Call 'em wobblers. This is my son Jeffrey he's at the age where I mock him for walking like a fucking scrub. "Skill issue" ass name.

[ryan-sometimes]

“Fatherless behavior” stop giving my DAD credit for all the work my MOM put into making me a terrible person!! Stop erasing women in history!!

[botanyshitposts]

lichens at the lichen new years party and they say 'heres to another prosperous 0.002 millimeters of growth everyone the sands of time march on!!' and they all absorb passing nutrient dust at the same time

[lastoneout]

like the first rule of cooking is to have fun and be yourself and the first rule of baking is to stay calm because the dough can sense fear

[punished-venom-solitair-e]

"accessory not supported on this device" yes it is you stupid slut. thats headphones. you've known each other for years

[pansylair]

7:21am kitchen eats

[esrah-rah-rasputin]

[Image description: a digital drawing in warm colours. A Black person in a powerchair is reaching into the kitchen cupboard, smiling lightly. There is a rainbow and a sun above their head, with clouds floating around. Two parakeets are hanging out on the person’s powerchair. The kitchen is full of plants and flowers, with small smiling creatures hanging out on the floor and a long snake-like striped creature smiling from the potted plant. The stove’s display shows the time: 7:21. End ID.] (copy pasted from another reblog)

[chessys]

i need 2 nourish my body so when i die i can contribute maximum nutrients to the trees

[catchymemes]

[oddpoke]

My old friend, my companion, and my brother in arms

[charminglyantiquated]

Coexisting With The Fair Folk Who Have Taken Up Residence In/Around/Beneath Your University: A How-To Guide

See more of my comics here, and my art here!

Whole bunch of lore/things I couldn’t fit/everything I love about the overlap in superstition and General College Weirdness below the cut-

Keep reading

[helloitsbees]

shopping for fabric online and i–

oh

oh my god

yes

YES

YES!!!

[agreeablewitch]

I found her! She uses the money from her etsy shop to take care of stray cats and finds them forever homes. In the description for this listing she also posted many updates about her experiences fostering cats.

[turing-tested]

a lesbian: actually I thought I was a trans man for a while and it turns out I’m just butch

a trans man: oh same! i thought I was a lesbian and it turns out im a trans man

nonbinary person: ive thought I was both and now i realized i’m neither! isn’t it cool how we can all talk about our shared experiences

people who come into my inbox: how dare you have anything in common. you’re invalidating literally every trans and lesbian person at the same time

[jelliebeanbitch]

[great-and-small]

Apparently if you find a tagged Horseshoe crab and report it to Fish and Wildlife they’ll send you a certificate with info about your crab AND a pewter horseshoe crab pin! Keep your eyes peeled 👀

(Photo from the Nantucket Conservation Foundation)

[weirdkatharine]

Good news!  Getting a good grade in crab is normal to want and possible to achieve!

[knottahooker]

@scifigrl47

[scifigrl47]

YES ACTUALLY I AM DESPERATE FOR A GOOD GRADE IN CRAB.

[kuttithevangu]

Someone I know not well enough to voice my opinion on the subject said something like why didn’t God make potatoes a low-calorie food so I am here to say: God made them like that because their nutrition density IS what makes them healthy. By God I mean Andean agricultural technicians. Potato is healthy BECAUSE potato holds calories and vitamins. Do not malign potato

[w1zrad]

For all evolutionary history, life has struggled against calorie deficit… So much energy goes into finding food that there is no time for anything else. Our ancestors selectively bred root vegetables to create the potato, so that we might be the first species whose daily existence doesn’t consist of trying to find the nutrients necessary for survival. One potato can rival the calorie count of many hours of foraging… Eat a potato, and you free up so much time to create and build and connect with your fellow man. Without potato where would you be?? Do not stand on the shoulders of giants and think thyself tall!!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I nearly teared up reading “Andean agricultural technicians” bc fuck yes! these were members of Pre-Inca cultures who lived 7 to 10 thousand years ago, and they were scientists! food scientists and researchers and farmers whose names and language we can never know, who lived an inconceivably long time ago (pre-dating ancient civilizations in Egypt, China, India, Greece, and even some parts of Mesopotamia) and we are separated by millennia of time and history, but still for thousands of years the fruits vegetables of their labor and research have continued to nourish countless human lives, how is that not the most earthly form of a true miracle??? anyway yes potatoes are beautiful, salute their creators.

[cricketcat9]

There are approximately 4000 varieties of potato in Peru. I’ve seen an incredible variety of corn and tomatoes, and root vegetables I’ve never seen before, on the local farmer markets. Yet some expats insist on buying only imported, expensive American brands of canned veggies… 🤷🏼‍♀️ Peruvian potatoes 👇🏼

[i-just-like-commenting]

It is long since time for us to start viewing plant domestication as the bioscience that it is. Because while the Andeans were creating potatoes, the ancient Mesoamericans were turning teosinte into corn:

And then there’s bananas, from Papua New Guinea:

These were not small, random changes, this was real concerted effort over years to turn inedible things into highly edible ones. And I’m convinced the main reason we’re reluctant to call them scientific achievements is, well, a racist one.

[pierog]

tiny comic about eating toast with friends