Reflections from A Life Unfolding

Randoms and the things I tell myself; on the road to being and loving all of mySelf, in a life, unfolding.

[gayatri001]

When trauma gets triggered, you don't act your age, you act the age the wound was created

--Dr Gabor Maté

[gayatri001]

Freedom is the capacity to participate without being possessed, to engage without being hijacked, to care without becoming consumed. Freedom is not apathy; freedom is sovereignty.

[gayatri001]

sensitivity without skill becomes vulnerability, and vulnerability without mastery becomes distraction, and distraction without boundaries becomes a kind of energetic taxation that drains the very life force you are here to embody and radiate. [..] information is a tool, and a tool is meant to serve a purpose. When it stops serving a purpose and starts consuming the one who holds it, it is no longer a tool; it is a tether.

[gayatri001]

Discernment is not about saying no. It’s about saying yes only when the field is coherent. It’s about feeling the difference between: Excitement and alignment, Potential and readiness, Promise and integrity

[gayatri001]

8 questions to help find your purpose

if you had to be forced to occupy yourself with something 24/7 what would you be doing that matters most to you?

if money or time, or current responsibilities were not an issue at all what would you like to do with your life more than anything else in the world?

if you knew you were going to die in 2 years, what would you do with those 2 years?

what makes you forget basic necessities?

what negatives can you say yes to?

what problem in the world would you pick to start solving?

what did you love to do when you were a child?

what gift do you have to give to this world?

--Teal Swan

[gayatri001]

Discernment is love with clear eyes.

Discernment is the ability to ask, “How does this feel in my body?” “What does my heart know?” “Is this creating coherence or agitation?”

[gayatri001]

Alignment-based responsibility asks,

“What do I naturally offer?

What do I feel called to build?

What gift wants to move through me?”

[gayatri001]

"..release the chasing posture and cultivate the welcoming posture. Welcoming is not passive. Welcoming is an active inner stance that says, “I am available to truth, I am grounded in love, I honor consent, I honor safety, I honor free will, I honor the dignity of all beings, and I trust the timing of what is unfolding.”"

[gayatri001]

"Simplicity means you let your life be guided by what is true rather than what is loud. A simple practice carried daily will outpace an elaborate practice performed rarely, because the nervous system learns through consistency. Consistency builds trust inside you. Trust is what allows your system to relax. Relaxation is what allows your intuition to rise. Intuition is what guides your steps. Steps taken from intuition create coherent outcomes. Coherent outcomes create confidence. Confidence creates stability. Stability becomes service. Service becomes the light you radiate without trying."

[gayatri001]

On sensitivity as intelligence and refined perception + reclaiming authorship

Instead of “Why am I so affected?”, ask “What is this showing me about my boundaries, my choices, my environment, and my needs?”

Instead of “How do I stop feeling?” ask, “How do I support my system so I can feel without drowning?” Instead of “Why is everyone so intense?” ask, “How do I remain coherent in intensity without taking it on?”

[gayatri001]

On resolving fear of vulnerability:

“What am I afraid they’ll see if I’m fully myself?”

“What story am I telling myself about what happens if I’m vulnerable?”

“What would I say if I knew I wouldn’t be judged?”

“Where in my body do I tense when I think about being fully seen?”

“What’s the worst that could happen if I’m honest? And can I survive that?”

[gayatri001]

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[gayatri001]

Navigating gridlocks for couples by the Gottman Institute:

87% of distressed couples make major breakthroughs on their gridlock conflict using this intervention. this is what you do if you're a gridlock in an argument where neither of you are budging.

The listener puts aside their position on the issue and simply asks the following six questions to the speaker. And the speaker simply answers these questions for the listener. And note, none of the questions are about the conflict ie. they are about the conflict but they're only about the speaker describing themselves, not describing you.

1 - Do you have any beliefs, values or ethics that are part of your position on this issue?

2 - Is there some childhood history or former relationship history before me that has affected your position on this issue?

3 - What makes this so important to you? This position on the issue.

4 - What are your feelings about it?

5 - Is there an ideal dream here that underlies your position on this issue?

6 - Is there some life purpose, like really deep life purpose or meaning that is a part of your position on this issue.