I saw this in a tiktok and keep thinking about it.
People call themselves (or others) "conflict avoidant" often. Or they say they're afraid of conflict. I definitely have said these thing myself. This tiktok stuck with me because it made such a good point. Which is, the vast majority of these people aren't really afraid of conflict. Because conflict is just having a disagreement. And disagreeing when you both respect each other and have good intentions, is not a bad or scary thing at all. It often is a really positive thing. It's something that allows you to reconfigure something in your life so that it works better for you and better for your loved ones. It can be a chance to grow, and a chance to connect with someone, understand them better, etc. Even if the conflict is extremely tough and you can't seem to find a way to come to an agreement...you could still walk away agreeing to disagree.
Conflict is just sharing your perspectives while they share theirs, and you work to find a sense of understanding, or learn where to place boundaries, or you find a way to negotiate so that both people are better off, etc. Healthy conflict isn't scary to most people. Most people, if they were conflict that conflict would be handled with respect, no raised voices, no name calling or manipulation, etc - they'd not be afraid of or choose to avoid the conversation at all.
Most people who are "afraid of conflict" are actually afraid of abuse. They have a history of knowing that when they disagree with someone else, or when they ask for someone to accommodate a need, or that they need to set boundary - that people have responded with hostility, rejection, screaming, emotional abuse, even physical abuse. So they assume that if they bring up a problem or a need, that this person will (or at least might) mistreat them. And that's what they are afraid of. Or perhaps instead of abuse, they associate conflict with being abandoned/neglected, so they fear if they raise conflict, they'll be abandoned.
Fear of abuse, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, yes. And humans are supposed to be afraid of these things. Those are protective instincts.
But it's not a fear of conflict. We shouldn't be afraid of conflict with people who respect us, and if you've lived a life that has taught you to associate abuse, mistreatment or abandonment with conflict, then it's understandable that you've become conflict avoidant in an attempt to be abuse/mistreatment/abandonment avoidant - but it's a shame because respectful conflict/disagreement is a key part of healthy relationships.