being alive is to have life telling you ‘ok now i will ask you to be brave. now i will ask you to be brave. now i will ask you to be brave’ over and over and over until you learn it & then have to learn it again
“What distinguishes the tyrant from the man of good will is that the first rests in the certainty of his aims, whereas the second keeps asking himself, “Am I really working for the liberation of men? Isn’t this end contested by the sacrifices through which I aim at it?” In setting up its ends, freedom must put them in parentheses, confront them at each moment with that absolute end which it itself constitutes, and contest, in its own name, the means it uses to win itself.”
with the wta seemingly introducing mandatory genetic sex testing i want to highlight that not only is sex testing/testosterone testing deeply rooted in transphobia/bullshit fearmongering about an extremely marginalized population but also disproportionately affects BIPOC athletes:
2009 Olympics — Caster Semenya forced to undergo sex testing following her gold medal win / long form profile by Ariel Levy
2021 Olympics — Christine Mboma and Beatrice Masilingi banned from participating in women’s 400m race because of naturally high testosterone levels. / Op-ed piece by Morgan Campbell on misogynoir in sports / NPR podcast: The origins of modern day sex testing in sports
2024 Olympics — The case of Imane Khelif and Lin Yu-Ting / Morgan Campbell Op-ed
[paywalled pieces accessible via remove paywalls dot com]
Having a bad day? push play, and within six seconds all you will feel is tears of laughter streaming down your face and the stomach cramps of laughing too hard.
Plot Summary : When your boyfriend turns out to be cheating piece of shit, two alphas come to your rescue. One tells you he won't keep you and the other wants nothing to do with you, but that doesn't stop the pull you feel towards them. The closer you get, the more you discover about them, and about yourself.
Pairing : Alpha!Steve Rogers x Omega!Reader / Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Omega!Reader
Story Rating : R
Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Smutty behaviour and mentions of cheating. All chapters will contain the usual omegaverse and A/B/O tropes, love triangle(ish), and explicit smut. There is an unspecified age gap between Alphas and reader. All characters are a little darker than usual. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.
Word Count : 6.6k
A/N : Yep, everyone is definitely an asshole in this one 😂
Chapter Two
The dull, thrumming ache between your thighs was the first thing you noticed when you finally woke up.
You hadn't slept the whole night through — after the first round of sex, you'd dozed for an hour or so, before waking to find him still naked next to you. One thing quickly led to another, and you'd ended up on top of him, riding him hard. He hadn't even pulled out when you collapsed on his chest and drifted off again.
The third time, he'd settled behind you, slipping inside you with ease. He muttered in your ear, telling you how perfect you felt and how good you were being. He took his time, fucking you with a slow purpose, bringing you an entirely new kind of pleasure.
(Keep us, keep us, keep us, your hindbrain had chanted — and, honestly, you couldn't be sure that the words didn't leave your lips too.)
So, when you woke, you felt thoroughly fucked in a way you'd never experienced before. But, more than that, you actually felt sated. The part of you that craved and needed physical intimacy was silent. You didn't roll over to reach for him, desperate for another round, and you didn't slip your hand between your legs as you'd done so many mornings as Rick snored beside you.
You were... content.
Snuggling down beneath the thin sheet, you breathed in his scent and the scent of what you'd spent the night doing. It was enough to have you finally rolling onto your side, hand searching the bed for him.
Only, he wasn't there.
You were alone.
Sitting up, you glanced around the room. His bedroom. The door to the en-suite was open and he was nowhere to be seen. The alarm clock on the nightstand read 13:27 and you felt a wave of embarrassment. He'd probably been gone for hours and you hadn't even noticed.
Your body ached as you sat, clutching the sheet to your naked form, looking around for your clothes, but your dress was nowhere to be found. All you could find were the tattered remains of your panties, set aside like a trophy atop a set of drawers.
You waited a few more minutes, hoping that Steve would return, but the house seemed silent around you. You couldn't just stay in bed waiting for him all day. Besides that, you really needed to pee.
Pulling the sheet with you, you slipped into the en-suite, taking a moment to glance around first at the large claw-foot bathtub, then the large shower cubicle. The room itself was bigger than your bedroom...
Or, well, not your bedroom anymore, you supposed since you didn't have a home to go to.
You did what you needed to do and lingered for a few minutes, cleaning yourself up while casually looking over Steve's things, indulging yourself and sniffing a few of his toiletries. It was no wonder he smelled so good. During the course of your snooping, you found his laundry hamper and decided to grab the shirt on the top of the pile.
Enveloped in his scent, you wanted nothing more than to return to bed and wait for him to return, hoping that he'd fuck you again. (And again, and again.) But you couldn't. For all you knew, he was waiting for you somewhere else in the house, desperate to get rid of you now that he'd had his fill.
It was a sobering thought and exactly what you needed.
With your panties torn and ruined, you had no choice but to slip out of his room in nothing but his shirt. Thankfully it came down to your knees but as you walked through the long corridor you still felt practically naked.
You hadn't noticed just how big the house was last night but now, in the cold light of day, you realised that house probably wasn't the right word. Mansion was more like it.
You turned a corner that led onto a landing with a double staircase, one to your left the other, closer to your right. Glancing over the banister, you looked down at the large entrance hall and spotted someone. She had her back to you, so you cleared your throat as you made your way down stairs, alerting her to your presence.
A maid, you realised. The house was so big they had a maid.
She looked at you like it was perfectly normal to have a half-naked omega roaming the halls of the house. Maybe it was, maybe you were just the most recent in a long line. Fuck, could this day get any worse?
"Sorry, I'm looking for —"
"Mr Barnes is the only one here right now and he's in the kitchen," she said with a friendly enough smile but the tone of someone who had better things to be doing. When she noticed your confusion, she waved her hand. "Down there, last door on the right."
You muttered your thanks and started towards the kitchen, hoping that Mr Barnes was Steve and that he'd at least offer you some breakfast before kicking you out.
Your heart sank at the sight of Bucky, leaning over the counter, waiting for the coffee machine.
You stepped back, wanting to retreat before he noticed you, but —
"Morning, doll. Want a coffee?"
The tone of his voice should have bothered you almost as much as the smug smile on his lips, but something else caught your attention, something you hadn't noticed the night before.
His arm.
Or... not his arm. It was a metallic prosthetic.
What had happened to him?
Fuck, was it offensive to want to know? Were you staring? Why were you staring? Oh god, did he know you were staring?
Swallowing around the lump that had firmly lodged itself in your throat, you managed to nod. "Uh, yeah, coffee would be great."
If he noticed or cared that you had been staring at his arm, he didn't let it show. He just turned his attention back to the coffee maker. "You take it with cream or sugar?"
You remained in the doorway, warily eyeing his back — and not at all taking in the way his tight tee-shirt showed off his toned body.
(Imagine digging our nails into those shoulders, that voice in your head crooned, holding on tight as he fucks us.)
You couldn't tell if it was the fact he was being nice to you or the very real idea that spending a night with an alpha had rewired you on some baser level, but it took everything you had to keep your distance from him.
"Yes," you said, then, "both. Three spoons of sugar, please."
He gave a soft laugh that sent a strange thrill through you.
(Yes, make him happy. Make him want us.)
"That's a lot of sugar for someone who's already so sweet." A cold shiver crawled down your spine, both from his words and the way he looked at you when he turned, mug in hand. There was a hunger in his eyes that was all alpha. "Here you go, doll."
He didn't hand you the mug, he just placed it down on the counter beside him, waiting for you to go to him.
It felt like a trap.
You lingered in the doorway for a few seconds, torn between refusing the coffee and getting out of there, and showing him that, whatever this was, he wasn't going to get to you. Stubborn pride had you going for the second option, and you instantly regretted it.
His nose twitched as you took that first step, then the corner of his lips tugged upwards. Your quick attempt at cleaning yourself up clearly hadn't been enough to beat his sensitive alpha senses.
"So, was it everything you hoped it'd be?" He asked before you could even reach for the mug. His gaze slid down your body, the look so brazen that it almost felt like a physical caress trailing down to your bare legs and back up again. "I could hear you, you know. With the way you were moaning, anyone would think you'd never been fucked by an alpha before."
Your cheeks heated and your thighs pressed together of their own volition. It didn't take long for him to put two and two together, his grin growing wider.
"Shit, no wonder you were so eager." He stood away from the counter and took the smallest of steps to put himself between you and the door. "No wonder you were so willing to put out for an alpha who won't keep you."
You turned and shifted, trying to create some space between you, only to find yourself backed into a corner. Pressing yourself back, you tried to keep your head high, defiant, but you made the mistake of taking a steadying breath, breathing in his scent. Your head swam as he closed the distance, stopping in front of you and caging you in with hands on either side of you.
If you screamed, would someone come to help you?
(Why would we scream?)
"I can't blame him," Bucky muttered, bowing his head and pressing his face into the crook of your neck, just as he had last night. He inhaled and your legs trembled. "You smell fucking delicious."
"You're a pig," you said, but your words lacked any sharpness.
He was disgusting. The whole situation was disgusting but — fuck, you could already feel that familiar, needy heat blooming inside you.
"I think you like it. I think you get off on me treating you like shit," he continued, pressing closer, letting the tip of his nose graze the length of your gland.
It was so brazen and unexpected that you froze, letting him press as close as he wanted.
"N-no. You're wrong," you said in a breathless whisper. "I think you're disgusting."
"Liar," he said, taking another deep inhale. "You're dripping under that shirt. I can smell it. Did he not satisfy you last night? Did the good guy routine not do it for you? Were you faking all of those screams?"
Stubble scratched against your sensitive skin as he pressed a wet kiss to your gland. You let slip a keening whine, unable to control yourself. Another deep breath filled your lungs with his scent, distracting you as he lifted you and placed you on the counter.
Bucky stepped between your legs and you felt the cold press of metal trailing up your thigh — his fingers. He was slipping his fingers between your legs.
"He won't keep you," he muttered again, his tongue slipping out to lave your gland, causing your whole body to jolt, trying to push closer to him. "But, before he lets you go, I'm sure we'll have plenty of fun with you."
(Yes, yes, yes — oh fuck, yes, your hindbrain cried, fighting to overwhelm your common sense.)
At some point you'd raised your hands to push him away, but now they just sat on his strong chest, gripping his shirt, unable to let go. You were at the mercy of your biology as his fingers reached the apex of your thighs and a single metal digit ran through your embarrassingly slick folds.
"Did he tell you that we share sometimes?" He muttered against your neck with another wet kiss while his finger teased your clit. "Bet you'd like that, wouldn't you? Two alpha's fucking your tight little —"
He pulled back, leaving you dazed and barely breathing, an uncontrollable want thrumming through every fibre of your being. You let him go, though your hindbrain mourned the loss of his touch. It wasn't until he'd returned to his spot by the coffee maker that you had the sense to close your legs.
Just in time for Steve to appear.
Steve looked at you, then at Bucky.
"What did you do?" He asked, not sounding angry, just put out.
"Nothing," Bucky grunted. Steve's gaze hardened and fraction and Bucky headed to the door. "If you don't want to share her, you should've said."
Steve stepped aside, letting Bucky leave. His gaze followed after the other alpha before slowly turning back to you, taking in the sight of you in his shirt, perched on the edge of the counter.
"Sorry about him."
"What's his problem, anyway?" You asked, slipping off the counter as casually as you could manage.
Steve let out a laugh. "That's a long story, sweetheart."
Ignoring the way your legs were trembling, you grabbed the coffee Bucky had made for you and took a slow drink, watching as Steve moved closer.
This time you didn't shrink back — when Steve moved towards you, it didn't feel like a predator hunting its prey — you watched him over your mug, and let him cage you against the counter just as Bucky had.
The thrum you felt inside of you was different with Steve. You still felt an uncontrollable want but it wasn't enough to render you senseless.
You kept drinking until he plucked the mug from your hand and put it back on the counter. His arms slipped around you and, before you could even think to ask what he was doing, he kissed you.
His tongue pressed against the seam of your lips and you eagerly parted for him, letting him kiss you with a deep hunger that quickly reignited the sparks that Bucky had lit inside you. There was something primal and claiming to it, like he was trying to wipe away whatever might have just happened between you and Bucky, like he knew but he didn't care.
And you let him. You gave yourself to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and pulling him close.
It didn't last and, despite your hindbrain wanting nothing more than to be bent over the kitchen counter and fucked within an inch of your life, Steve pulled back. But he didn't go far. His hand took yours and he all but pulled you from the kitchen.
You eagerly followed after, assuming that he was taking you back to bed, but instead of turning right at the top of the stairs, he turned left, leading you in the opposite direction from his bedroom.
You wanted to ask where he was taking you and what was going on. More importantly, you wanted to ask if he knew what Bucky had just done — you wanted to understand their dynamic and what Bucky had meant about sharing. Was that what you were there for, or would Steve see it as a betrayal if anything happened between you and Bucky?
Packs were always complicated. It was why you'd never considered joining one. In some packs omegas could belong to their alphas or to the whole pack. You weren't sure how Bucky and Steve worked — hell, you weren't even sure how many people were in their pack.
But Steve must have known. Not only did he seem to know Bucky well, he must have been able to smell him on you...
So, clearly that meant that he wasn't angry about it.
Your thoughts stopped as you were pulled into a bedroom. It was smaller than Steve's room, empty, with nothing more than a bed, a wardrobe, and a set of drawers. There was a door leading out onto a balcony and, beyond that, in the distance you could see the city.
He let go of your hand and turned to face you.
"What do you think?" He asked.
You gave him a confused look. "Of what?"
"The room — your room."
"My..."
Words failed you. There were too many things you wanted to ask, so many things you wanted to say. He was just giving you a place to stay? Why couldn't you stay in his room with him? From the way he'd kissed you in the kitchen he clearly still wanted you...
"You need a place to stay and we've got plenty of space," he explained. “That is... if you want it...”
(Stay... stay for the alpha. He's giving us a gift. Thank him. Thank him.)
The little voice was right in the worst way. You needed a place to stay and he was giving you that. You should be grateful and not ask too many questions. No one had ever just done something nice for you before. There was always a catch, always something that they wanted before they gave you anything. But Steve was just offering you a place.
You surged forward, catching him off guard. You kissed him the way he'd kissed you in the kitchen, with an eager intensity, giving yourself over to him. But it didn't feel like enough. All of your senses felt like they were cranked up to eleven and you needed to do something.
Dropping to your knees, you started to fumble with his belt, then his pants.
"You don't have to —" he stopped short the second you reached into his pants to grip his cock.
His arousal spiked as you started to stroke him, his scent helping you forget all about Bucky. You took a deep breath and allowed yourself to get lost in it, to let your hindbrain take the wheel and take whatever she wanted. For the first minute, you were content to stroke him, watching as he got hard in your grip, letting you see just how big he was.
Then you leaned in, chasing your hand with your tongue as it striped up and down the considerable length of him. It wasn't long before pre-cum started to leak from his tip and you made a show of greedily licking it up. His breath caught and your whole body heated. You were pleasing him, making him gasp. You were in control.
You gave a slow and sensual lick, swirling your tongue around the tip of his cock before sliding your lips over him and slowly starting to take him into your mouth. Your movements were deliberate and slow to begin with, wanting to show him not just that you appreciated his offer but that you were worthy of it, worthy of a place in his life. Maybe he wouldn't claim you, but did that really matter if he was willing to keep you safe?
Moaning, you started to bob your head, following the movement with your hand, making sure no inch of him went untouched. Even though this was all for him, you quickly felt your own arousal starting to build. One glance up at him through your lashes was almost enough to undo you.
When his fingers slipped into your hair, you moaned around him, some part of you eager to give up the control you'd literally just been celebrating.
His hips jerked forward, causing the crown of his cock to nudge the back of your throat. Your eyes watered and you softly gagged, but you didn't stop, sucking in your cheeks as your free hand gripped his hip. The sound of your wet lips on his skin coupled with his heavy breathing had you fighting the urge to slip your hands between your thighs — or worse, grinding yourself against his boot.
You relaxed your throat and managed to take a little bit more of him. His fingers twitched in your hair and his gaze darkened with want, obviously enjoying the sensation of your throat around him. You gulped and tried to swallow, tried to take more and more, feeling needy and greedy, desperate for everything you could get. A tear rolled down your cheek from your watering eyes, but you paid it no mind. You were enjoying yourself too much to stop.
Muffled moans started to spill more freely from you, each one vibrating around his cock and causing his hips to jerk. You trailed your tongue up and down him, tracing the thick vein on the underside of his cock, giving him everything you could to try and make him happy before giving him what he really wanted.
What every alpha wanted.
Control.
You found his hand on the back of your head and gave it a squeeze, silently giving him permission to take over.
A low sound came from the back of his throat, a purely alpha sound that made you tremble. His grip tightened on your hair, almost painfully so, and he started to move his hips.
"Such a good little omega," he grunted.
(A good omega for our alpha, your hindbrain whined.)
You had to grip his waist to keep yourself steady as he set a faster pace, chasing his pleasure. His groans were the final straw — you couldn't help yourself, you had to slip your hand between your thighs and sate the urgent need inside you. There was something about him being in charge that made you lose all control and act every bit the omega.
"Are you —" he didn't even have to finish the question.
The sight of you on your knees in front of him, his cock in your mouth and your hand between your thighs had him practically growling. And that just made you want more.
(Yes, yes, yes... make the alpha happy, make the alpha keep us. We want to stay with the alpha. We want this. Over and over and over.)
Your fingers teased your clit with a rough and desperate rhythm, trying to keep time with his thrusts. You stared up at him feeling an odd sense of contentment washing over you, like you were exactly where you needed to be.
Pleasure quickly began to build inside you. It had been building since your run-in with Bucky and, now, it was approaching fever pitch.
Steve gave you a warning before he came, but you had no intention of stopping, and hearing him groaning your name was more than enough to push you over the edge too. You swallowed thickly as finished in your mouth, making sure not a single drop went to waste. The taste of him on your tongue was intoxicating, and you already knew you’d never have enough of it.
When he was done, he slumped back against the set of drawers, tucked himself away, and offered you a hand up.
Your legs trembled, but you managed to stand again, eagerly pressing your body to his as he snaked a possessive arm around your waist.
"I can’t keep you," he said with a soft exhale. "I won't claim you, but..."
That one little syllable hung in the air, giving you a small slither of hope that your life was finally going to get better.
"But?"
"But there's a place for you here, if you want it."
"A... place?" You had a thousand questions but you weren't sure how to ask them. You were still trembling from your orgasm, still pressed so close to him, wrapped up in his arms and in his scent.
"Stay here and I'll take care of you. All your needs, all your urges," he said, brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face. "I'm willing to do everything an alpha would do for their omega, except claim you."
"You'll take care of me?" You asked. Steve nodded. "What do you get out of it?"
"I have urges too," he shrugged. "My line of work makes it hard for me to have an omega, but you just sort of fell into my lap, and I can't resist a damsel in distress."
His line of work? How did running a club (several clubs) make it hard for him to have an omega?
"There's plenty of space here, and I have the money to support you until you find something more permanent," he continued. "And besides, I want more nights like last night..."
Your legs trembled and you pressed yourself closer to him. He was going to let you stay so he could have you there any time he wanted to fuck. Maybe it should have bothered you, maybe you should have wanted more, but your heart had been wounded by Rick and you didn't want to go through that again. You didn't want to get attached if he didn't want you the same way.
"Okay," you said softly, pressing your face against his chest.
(We'll make him want to keep us. Make him want to claim us.)
"Good, I'll take you to get your things," He looked at you and smiled. "As much as I like seeing you in my clothes, I need to be able to think about something other than your body. I checked the security footage from last night,your ex left with your purse. We'll get everything of yours and you'll never have to see him again."
It was as if he'd already known that this was how things would go — not the blowjob, but you agreeing to stay with him and unofficially be his omega. Again, it should have bothered you, should have at least given you pause to wonder if you were being manipulated or used just for sex, but the scent of his arousal was still thick around you and the taste of him lingered on your tongue.
"But, I should warn you, there are rules to living here with us," he said, cupping your cheek and making sure your eyes were on him.
"Rules?" You repeated, a lump forming in your throat. "What kind of rules?"
His thumb brushed over the apple of your cheek, in a tender but possessive way, making you want to agree to anything he asked of you.
"You can't go out on your own — if you need to go somewhere, either me or Bucky will take you," Steve said. "Anything you see or hear here needs to stay between us, no matter what it is or how important you think it might be. And I need to know that I can have you whenever I want to. If you find another alpha who's worthy of you and you want to leave, I'll let you go, but until then, you're mine."
You lost yourself in his blue eyes and rich scent and nodded. Losing some of your freedom was a small price to pay if it meant being looked after by an alpha like him. If it meant being in his arms and in his bed.
He smiled and slowly released you from his grasp.
"There's some clothes in the drawer — you're a little bit smaller than Nat, but you should be able to find something that fits."
"Nat?" Your head swam as you took a step back, some desperate part of you protesting the slightest space between your bodies.
"Are you jealous, omega?" He asked, not even bothering to hold back his smile.
"No, I just..."
Okay, so you weren't jealous, but if this Nat was another omega, you knew you would be.
"She's part of the pack," Steve explained. "Another alpha."
You frowned. Alpha's were rare and it was unusual to find two in a pack, never mind three. "Another alpha?"
"We're not a typical pack," was all he offered. "Have a shower and get dressed, omega. Get yourself settled in, then come downstairs. I'll take you to get your things."
He left before you could think to stop him and your hindbrain mourned his loss as if you'd never see him again. You wondered if you'd ever get used to being around alphas and the way they made you feel. It didn't quite match how you'd expected it to be, but you certainly weren't complaining.
Once he was gone, you slipped into the ensuite bathroom and took a quick shower. Then you started to familiarise yourself with the room, easily finding the clothes that he had mentioned. Whoever this Nat was, she was bigger than you — not surprising, given she was an alpha — and the first pair of jeans you tried on almost drowned you. Even her leggings were too long.
You settled for a light, summer dress — it was still too big, but the loose fit wasn't quite as noticeable once you cinched the waist with a belt. And you felt a lot more comfortable not wearing panties with the dress. That was a line you didn't want to cross; it was all well and good borrowing some clothing, but wearing someone else's underwear was another matter entirely. You found a light grey jacket in the wardrobe that matched the blue dress, and that just left shoes.
Padding back downstairs, you could hear Steve and Bucky talking in the kitchen.
"How long?" Bucky asked, and you stilled a few steps from the door.
"As long as she needs." Steve.
"Do you think it's safe keeping her —"
"I'm not keeping her, Buck."
"Does she know that?" Bucky asked, and you could picture the smug look on his face.
"She knows. And I set some ground rules for her. She won't get in the way. She's a good omega."
(He thinks we're good. We are good. We'll be the best he's ever had. We'll make him want to keep us, your hindbrain squealed.)
"Yeah, and you know why that is, don't you?" Bucky said.
"Enough, that's not —" Steve fell silent.
You waited a beat, then started to worry that they knew you were there, listening in. When they didn't continue, you started to move, walking into the kitchen as if you'd only just come downstairs.
Steve's eyes raked up and down your body, his gaze causing gooseflesh on every inch of skin he looked at.
You forced a slow breath, reminding yourself how acute the alphas' senses were, and how easily they could tell when you were aroused. But, when you allowed yourself a glance at Bucky, you realised you couldn't tell which of the alphas was affecting you the most. You hated it. You didn't want to feel any emotion inspired by Bucky aside from annoyance, but you couldn't say with any certainty that the weakness in your knees was all because of Steve either.
"Are you ready to go?" Steve asked.
"Yeah, I just need my shoes," you answered.
Steve's gaze dropped to your bare feet and — fuck, how did that turn you on? You wished that you'd spent more time with alphas in the past, just so you could understand how much of what you felt was normal and how much of it was just them.
"They're by the door. I had them cleaned for you."
Your eyes caught Bucky's as you turned to leave the kitchen, and heat instantly started to pool low in your stomach. As much as you wanted to hate him, there was just something about him, something that made your insides thrum with a hunger you couldn't explain. He was a disgusting pig but, somehow, the draw to him was stronger than it was to Steve.
Shaking your head, you pushed the thought away. You'd ignore it. Ignore him. Steve was the one offering to look after you, the one that wanted you around. Steve was the one who'd get your attention.
It took less than a minute to find your boots and pull them on. A skitter of pleasure ran through you just at the sight of them; cleaned and shined, looking good as new. If this was how thoroughly Steve was going to look after you, then you were going to have a very comfortable time with him.
You'd just have to make sure you avoided Bucky from now on...
"No," Bucky said as you returned to the kitchen.
"You heard Sam, he needs me to deal with it," Steve said, shooting you an apologetic look the second he noticed you. "I need to go take care of something at the club. Bucky is going to take you to get your things."
"What? No, I —" you started and stopped just as abruptly when Steve’s eyebrow raised at your very quick protests. "I can wait."
"Sweetheart," Steve said softly, "it's okay, Buck'll take good care of you. Besides, if you're sticking around, you two really should get to know each other."
Bucky's words from earlier rang in your ears; did he tell you that we share sometimes?
"Fine. I'll take her." Bucky spoke before you got the chance to think of an excuse.
"Great." Steve pressed a kiss to your forehead and left, barely giving you a second to even wrap your head around what was happening.
It felt like all the air had been sucked from the room.
Bucky said nothing.
You said nothing.
You waited for a hole to open up beneath your feet and swallow you whole but it never happened.
"C'mon then, doll." The words felt like a death sentence as they left his lips because you weren't sure what being alone with him again was going to do to you.
But you followed after him as he led you out the side door to a dark SUV and got in when he opened the door for you. The only words you managed to speak were your former address when he asked for it. Then, you spent the whole ride across town awkwardly staring forward, not wanting to look his way. You tried your damnedest not to breathe, not wanting his scent filling your nose and lungs.
If Bucky noticed any of it, he kept it to himself, seeming content to just quietly drive you across the city.
Neither of you spoke until he pulled up outside Rick's building.
"What are you doing?" You asked as Bucky got out of the car.
"Helping you get your things."
"You're not coming with me."
"He put his hands on you last night, there's no chance I'm leaving you alone with him."
The look on Bucky's face told you that there was going to be no reasoning with him, but that didn't stop you from trying. "I'll be fine. He's never been like that before. And, besides, I hit him first..."
"Seriously? You think that makes it okay?"
No. You didn't. But it had taken Bucky saying it to make you realise it. You shouldn't have lashed out at Rick, but he never should've raised his hand to you either.
"Fine," you grumbled.
You didn't say another word as you led him up to the little fourth floor apartment that had been, until last night, your home. It wasn't until you reached the door that you started to wonder what you were going to find if you knocked — had he already moved Cindy in? Were you about to interrupt some tender moment between the two? Would you be able to face her without breaking her nose?
Fortunately, when the door was answered, it was just Rick. In his boxers. Looking bruised and hungover.
"You came home?" He said, almost sounding happy to see you, but that stopped the moment he saw Bucky lurking behind you. "Oh..."
"I just want my things," you said, trying to keep any and all hurt from your voice. You hated how you suddenly felt, standing in front of him like an open wound, and you felt like such an idiot for ever thinking that there might be a future with him.
Rick looked at you, then at Bucky before standing aside and letting you in.
Bucky followed after you like an unwanted shadow as you stepped into the apartment. Compared to Steve's house — or was it Steve's and Bucky's? — the apartment was small, little more than a shoebox. It felt suffocating to be back there after just one night in an actual mansion.
Rick followed Bucky — though he kept a very respectful distance.
You tried your best to ignore both of them and focused on gathering your things from the bedroom. You started with the more expensive things; your laptop and drawing tablet.
No one said anything until the silence got to be too much for Rick.
"Is this how it's going to be now?" He asked. "The silent treatment whenever we're in the same room?"
"There is no now. I'm getting my stuff and then I'm gone," you said, keeping your back to him as you unplugged your printer. "We're never going to be in the same room again."
"Look, I know I fucked up and things didn't pan out the way you wanted them to, but we could still be friends. You don't need to run off with an alpha you don't even know."
Bucky gave a low grunt that had Rick looking close to shitting himself, but the alpha didn't say anything.
You turned to glare at your ex. "Friends? You raised your hand to me. I never want to see you again."
"Fuck, do you alway have to be so fucking dramatic? You hit me first, remember?"
"Yeah and you deserved it."
Rick shook his head and let out a bitter laugh. "I should've known better than to date a fucking omega — this is why I chose Cindy over you. She doesn't get emotional over dumb shit."
It was strange in hindsight how often he'd made comments about you being emotional or for getting upset. Worst still was how often you'd allowed yourself to believe him. For eighteen months he'd made you feel like you were too sensitive just because you were an omega, and you'd let so much shit slide because of it.
"Yeah, well I hope you make each other miserable. I feel sorry for the baby,' you snapped back.
Rick took a step towards you but thought better of it as Bucky straightened.
"Just get your stuff and get the fuck out." He turned and walked out, leaving you alone with Bucky again.
"He cheated on you?" Bucky asked once the beta was gone. There was an anger in his voice that you didn't understand, partly because you'd assumed that he already knew but mostly because you didn't expect him to care.
"What d'you care?" You said, turning your attention back to your packing.
He was silent for a beat, then; "he usually talk to you like that?"
You shrugged, still not sure why any of it mattered to him.
"I should've broken his fucking jaw."
It wasn't some idle threat. He started towards the door, giving you no time to think before moving. You put yourself in front of him, hands on his arms, trying to stop him.
"Don't. Just... just leave it." You said. "He's not worth it."
You instantly realised your mistake. Too close. You were standing far too close. And, just as it had earlier, his scent started to infect you. Bucky followed as you stumbled backwards, and you found yourself pressed against the dresser. His gaze dropped to your lips and your heart started to race as he crowded you.
"What are you doing?" You hissed, daring to glance towards the door, making sure Rick wasn't lurking.
"Finishing what we started this morning." His head bowed and he let his lips ghost against yours. "I know you're not wearing anything under that dress..."
You almost lifted your face to force his lips to do more than just graze yours but the last vestiges of your common sense won out. Slamming your hands against his chest, you pushed him as hard as you could.
Bucky barely moved.
"Back off," you told him, despite the voice in your head pleading to let him bend you over the dresser and fuck you hard while your ex sat in the next room.
A low sound vibrated in the back of his throat and his head dipped again. He inhaled deeply and a tremor ran down your spine, heat licking through your core and giving him exactly what he wanted. Then he pulled away, grinning.
"Suit yourself," he shrugged. "Hurry the fuck up."
Two boxes, a suitcase, and a backpack later, your entire life was packed away, and you were ready to head back to your new home and figure out just what the fuck you were going to do.
A/N : See what I mean about people being assholes in this one? Don't worry, the why's will be explained in later chapters. Anyway, thanks for the great response to the first part of this, I'm really glad people enjoyed it, and I hope you like what I have planned for it going forward.
Again, there's no set upload schedule for this one, but there is a tag list or you can subscribe to the story on Ao3.
As always I love and appreciate every like/comment/reblog and keyboard smash of love. Thanks so much for reading! Hope you all have a great week!
To be very clear about this: CPUs aren't magical devices that can operate forever. They generate heat. They wear out over time. This happens faster when they're operating near capacity. This is not just an attempt to inconvenience you; this is an attempt to damage your property.
For the "crime" of not wanting to be tracked/have ads pissed into your eyeballs 24/7.
Even if you've paid for the "privilege" of the latter.
Fuck Google, and I hope they get sued into oblivion over this.
i see everyone in the notes talking about newpipe but nobody's talking about youtube alternatives for desktop
IF YOU USE A DESKTOP PC OR LAPTOP, TRY INVIDIOUS
https://invidious.io/
it is a free, open-source alternative YouTube front-end. in addition to not having ads, it has other great QoL features like a download button. try one of the several instances on that link up there ^^^^
so i was super pissed and concerned about this but i have just discovered that while this is true, it is apparently only true for google chrome users. i just tested this by having ten tabs open in firefox playing ten different youtube videos at the same time and my cpu usage spiked to 25% as the videos were loading and then dropped back down to 10% as they played.
if you ever needed another reason to switch to a different browser, this is it.
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