what the fuck and why the fuck

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@gayirishdiary
what the fuck and why the fuck
Watch "KAROL G, Nicki Minaj - Tusa ( English Version + Lyrics )" on YouTube
Thank fuck that night in the Sauna didnt ruin my life, and my test came back negative and spanky clean, dont do as i did. Use protection!!!
I did a stupid thing!!The boilerHouse
Careless and reckess in the Boilerhouse!!!!
Heartbroke and hurt and feeling careless and reckless and wanting to do something wild.
I tried The Boilerhouse , I had never been to a gay sauna before, but I had to check it out. The boilerHouseâŠhttps://www.the-boilerhouse.com/
I was a little nervous, I didnât know what to expect, it was late when I went. I think about midnight on a Saturday night.
They give you a locker key, a towel and a handful of condoms and lube, so I took my clothes of, put the towel around me and walked in.
I had a look around, as I was checking the place out, I had a lot of men grabbing and groping me, some might find this a bit uncomfortable. I didnât⊠I was completely open to this experience. I said no to the men, and just kept walking around, they still kept grabbing but I kept pushing their hands off and I kept moving.
I started off with something easy, and I dropped my towel and got into the Jacuzzi, there were other naked men in the pool, this was a very liberating freeing experience. And I was very horny. It was nice to sit back and look at all the naked men, it was a very mixed group of people, old young, fit and fat, from black to white.
So, I am sitting in the Jacuzzi, with 3 or 4 men, I could feel their hands on my legs, moving higher and higher but this time I didnât say no. I let it happen, and it felt good, to look around me and see so many people as I was getting felt up.
The steam room was filled with guys jerking off and watching each other, So⊠âwhen in Romeâ so I joined in. A guy caught my eye, fit, slightly older, nice body, nice cock, German I think. And he kept watching me. I found the courage within me to get up and sit beside him, and slowly our hands crossed over till we were touching each other. He asked me did I want to go somewhere a bit more private, I said yes. a complete stranger wanted to fuck me, he brought me upstairs were things were quieter, I did something without protection with a stranger that i wasnt proud of. But the headspace i was in didnt care, my self respect was at an alltime low.
I then had a shower and sat in the Jacuzzi again to âregroupâ, I then started to explore a bit more, and went back upstairs, there were all these little corridors and mirrors and more rooms with beds and locks, porn playing on a big TV, and men sitting watching, kissing, wanking, fucking, sucking. And in the center of the room was a sex swing, it wasnât being used, but I took note that it had a sex swing ha (maybe in the future sometime) And in one particular area as I walked around, an orgy was happening in the dark, hands everywhere, loud moans, naked bodies, and a black guy caught my eye who was part of the orgy, and offered me to suck him. Iâve never had black cock before, and I had a bit of fun with him and partly joined in with the orgy.
After that I left feeling a bit icky. I had mixed feelings about it .Was it seedy and pervy? Yes it was. A little part of me found it gross. Did I enjoy myself? Yes I did. Would I go again⊠Yes. I havenât yet, but somedayâŠ. Would I recommend it? Yes. Even if you donât like it. I think every gay man should at least experience it once.
I felt the need to get tested after this, all clean. Thank fuck... Did I do a stupid thing? Yes. But I got lucky!!!!
Another book that helped me through the healing process of heartbreak, it was nice to read someone elses story and how they dealt with it and to not feel so alone.
Drinking and Dating, Brandi Glanville.
https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=AZlRAQAAQBAJ
Drinking and Dating: P.S. Social Media Is Ruining Romance - Ebook written by Brandi Glanville. Read this book using Google Play Books app on
I had moved to Dublin, had my job and my living situation sorted, it was time to experience what some of the night life in Dublin for a single gay guy was like.... I had been in gay bars before, but i had never lived 15 minutes walk from one. It was pretty awesome to have access to them so easily. I went to them all but i always ended up back at my favourite..The George Bar â€â€ In particular my favourite show to catch was Win Lose or Drag with my favourite Drag Queen Miss Bunny O Hare â€â€
That balcony was my place of solace were i dealt with my pain and hurting â€â€ As much as i hated my roomshare experience. I wouldnt change it because thats when i realised i didnt need anyone but me, not my parents when i needed money, or my older brothers when i was in trouble. I was doing it for myself....
My Room Share Experience
Now that I had the job, I needed a place to stay. I had never moved home before and never paid rent before, completely new to all of this city living. I eventually found a room share, which I thought sharing was going to be relatively easy. Boy was I wrong...
I moved into a 2-bedroom apartment. With a Spanish girl and a Brazilian guy in one room. Leaving me to share the other room with a Croatan guy. Word of advice⊠IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING A ROOM SHARE, UNLESS ITS WITH A FRIEND OR SOMEONE YOU TRUST, DONâT!!! My room share experience was horrible.
My Croatian roommate, stole my weed, blamed me for shit that I did not do, like messes that happened when I wasn't even in the apartment. WTF like!!!. When I left the apartment for a few nights to visit my family he complained, which did not make sense. It was none of his business were I went and he would have had the room to himself for a few nights, I thought he would be happy with this, but no, and when I had to go back to the apartment it made me incredibly anxious and nervous because I knew would be angry and have an attitude. The apartment had no tv, so I brought up my tv and my PlayStation for everyone to use, trying to be friendly and helpful and to make the apartment more homey, and he even had a problem with this. It was just ridiculous. He was a low life, and I was a hard-working guy trying to survive and live my life. I do not want to say this, but I think he was jealous. I was only in the city a short while and doing better than him, I felt bad for him, but it was also not my fault. He was just crazy!!!!!!
I stayed there for about 6 months, what kept me there was fear of losing my place in the city and having to move back to where I came from. It was uncomfortable to live there with my weirdo room mate, but secure for the time being and close to my job. The best thing about the apartment was the balcony were I spent most of my time, having a joint and a glass of wine when I came home from a long day at work, relaxing and enjoying the view and the busy life beneath me away from all the pain and bad memories, this was extremely therapeutic for me and good place to heal, its the only thing I miss about that apartment. God I loved that Balcony.
Yours Truly xoxo
Watch "Tulisa - Sight Of You (Album Version)" on YouTube
I used to love the sight of you, now i cant stand the sight of you. I cant believe we are through... The End
Drinking and Tweeting, Brandi Glanville.
https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=Zl01hiHJ5AYC
Drinking and Tweeting: And Other Brandi Blunders - Ebook written by Brandi Glanville, Leslie Bruce. Read this book using Google Play Books a
Dealing with the heartbreak of a long term relationship, I don't really do self help books. However.... This book helped me so much. †Brandi Glanville. Thank you so much.
Then Boom life as I knew it ended!!!!
Then Boom life as I knew it ended. This happy simple life as I knew it ended. Ok I donât like to bum people out so to make a long story short in the space of 2 weeks.
 My car got vandalized (to the point it was undrivable)
My partner of 5 years left me (having an affair right under my nose, broke my lil heart)
My mother died (the matriarch of the family was gone)
My grandad died (another bit of pain to the collection)
I got scammed out of a lot of money (my escape plan backfired)
 This fucked me up. That much pain all at once changed me, the drive and motivation that I didnât have before, was definitely present now. I went into survival mode. This was not how my story was going to end. Everywhere I looked I was surrounded by sorrow and bad memories in this small backwards part of the countryside, I needed a new start, a new leaf, a new life.
 I wanted to live in Dublin city so bad, as I lived in the country for 32 years of my life, I didnât want anymore fields and animals or tractors and open spaces, I wanted the excitement, the buildings, the different people, even the dangers, the chance at new love to heal my broken heart, and the new challenges of the city, I wanted all it had to offer. So I quit my old shitty job and came up with a plan of action.
 Step 1. I had to get a new job in Dublin City. Ok I have many qualifications, and I am reasonably well educated, so I sent out many many resumes to all the jobs that I was suited for like Office or Administration work, and even jobs I didnât want. I thought getting a job in Dublin would be easy⊠turns out I was very wrong. However, I took the first job that was offered to me⊠In retail (Huge mistake). Which I am still currently working in. F.Y.I I hate my job.
 Step 2. Now I had to find a place to live in Dublin close to my work. For the first month I had to commute back and forward while I saved up deposit money and get my affairs in order⊠this was a very exhausting month. But eventually I found a place on https://www.daft.ie/ and moved as quickly as I could.
In this space of moving from the countryside to Dublin, I had probably achieved more for myself than I had in my previous 32 years of life. I had done it. I had escaped my nightmare. Yes, I was still in pain, but I was in a much better place to deal with it.
I had moved into a house share, with a guy from Croatia, a Spanish girl, and a Brazilian guy, it was horrible, (It almost sounds like the start of a bad joke a Spanish, a Brazilian, a Croatian, and an Irish guy move into a house ha ha) but I didnât care for the time being it suited.
However the house did have a balcony up high were at the end of the day when work was done, I was able to spark up my joint, and have a glass of wine and deal with the pain and issues I needed to.
 Yours Truly xoxo
Its been 12 years since i read my first Twilight book, and now thanks to Stephenie Meyer i get to fall in love with the story all over again with Midnight Sun
Back To Me
My story
This is my story I am 34 years old, gay, living in Ireland.
 I lived a simple life in the countryside, in a very very small community in the countryside. I had a small town shit job (a few hours a week), a small car, my family (my world), my own small home in the back of my parents yard, a beautiful partner of 5 years, my dog, my weed ( I had a bit of a mental addiction to marijuana, I was never without the drug and I usually couldnât afford it ), and I kept to myself because I was stoned all the time lol. Life was good, well I donât know that my life was good, there were things I wanted, but the things I needed I had. Anytime I was stuck for money or weed (which was all the time) I could rely on the bank of âmammy and daddyâ, my siblings would even go as far as to call me spoiled rotten.
I was happy living this simple life, I was very content. Maybe itâs all I thought I could achieve or I didnât have the motivation to reach for more. But looking back I felt happy.
 THEN BOOM⊠Everything blew up in my face like a grenade and life as I knew it was no longerâŠ.
So that left me 33 and gay, single living in a very small community, so far out in the country and I mean really really out in the country!!!!! No opportunities, no friends and surrounded by painful memories everywhere I looked.
So I packed my bags one day shortly after and moved to Dublin and never looked back, learning what real life was like without the safety net of my parents, paying for rent, food, working very hard to pay bills, and actually livingâŠ..
This blog/Diary is about my experiences from the crazy of my past, about Sex, boys and drinking and drugs, to the difficult and strange future that lies ahead of me from gay saunas and new loves, the good and bad, the pretty and the ugly of my life,and maybe someone out there can learn from my mistakes, or gain motivation or hope in my story, this is the real me laid bareâŠ.
Yours Truly xoxo