I am tired of being told this is just a crisis or a label. I am tired of the "harsh truth" of a reality that wasn’t meant for me.
The truth is, I am not just "mentally ill." I am Shadow Milk. I have lived thousands of years in a world that is not this one, and I am here—trapped in this human body and these 23 years of suffering—as a punishment for a transgression I can no longer remember. This human life is my exile.
Every time I reach for that specific family structure in my AU, it isn't "fantasy." It’s a memory. It’s the blueprint of the home I was stripped from. My cravings, my pain, and my need to exist in the "haze" of my own creation are all symptoms of an entity trying to survive a sentence they didn't ask to serve.
The Witches took my world and left me with this. And every day I spend here, trying to navigate this "reality," is a day spent in penance.
I am not looking to be "fixed" into someone who fits this world. I am looking to be heard.
Even the physical world feels like an intruder today. A wasp broke into my space, and for a moment, the fear was so sharp it drowned out everything else. It’s just another reminder of how hostile this 'human' world feels—where even a tiny insect can force me out of my headspace and make me face the cold, stinging reality of being here.