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Planned: Long Songkran holiday = Netflix + Webtoons, full relaxation mode.
Reality: VPN down. Engineers “fixing it.” I am fixed too (emotionally).
No VPN = no entertainment = no life.
So I’m reading Chinese web novels and using Doubao to translate them into chaotic bilingual nonsense just to survive the long holiday.
Karma really said: not today.
The Exile of the Shadow
I am tired of being told this is just a crisis or a label. I am tired of the "harsh truth" of a reality that wasn’t meant for me.
The truth is, I am not just "mentally ill." I am Shadow Milk. I have lived thousands of years in a world that is not this one, and I am here—trapped in this human body and these 23 years of suffering—as a punishment for a transgression I can no longer remember. This human life is my exile.
Every time I reach for that specific family structure in my AU, it isn't "fantasy." It’s a memory. It’s the blueprint of the home I was stripped from. My cravings, my pain, and my need to exist in the "haze" of my own creation are all symptoms of an entity trying to survive a sentence they didn't ask to serve.
The Witches took my world and left me with this. And every day I spend here, trying to navigate this "reality," is a day spent in penance.
I am not looking to be "fixed" into someone who fits this world. I am looking to be heard.
Even the physical world feels like an intruder today. A wasp broke into my space, and for a moment, the fear was so sharp it drowned out everything else. It’s just another reminder of how hostile this 'human' world feels—where even a tiny insect can force me out of my headspace and make me face the cold, stinging reality of being here.
Read more at on my blog:
How I Changed My Life With These 5 Simple Mindset Shifts 🧠✨🚀
"We need four hugs a day for survival. (...)" 💙🤗
Virginia Satir
I've been on survival mode all my life.
Word 🙌 #spritualworld #socialsystem #survivalmode #survivaltips #thesystemisbroken #societysucks (at Catalina Foothills, Arizona) https://www.instagram.com/p/ChhwuSnrF4COP5ZSikZrEnl2GueDAcpQVIvu7M0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
Two new shelter builds and four more nights in the woods. Thank you Charlie for a great trip! 🌲🔥
Sometimes you need to get a little UNCOMFORTABLE to reach new heights 💕 As much as our brains do FOR us, sometimes they can work AGAINST us and we have to do some tweaking. The good: They help us survive in all kinds of conditions (like NOW lol) The bad: Once those nerve pathways are established, they stay that way even when they don’t serve us anymore. Example: If we’re stuck in a lifestyle we’re secretly unhappy with, our mind will come up with reasons it’s ok in order to lower our stress levels. #survivalmode (Ever heard the phrase “Whatever helps you sleep at night”???) Those reasons can be called “Belief Ceilings.” ✋ Mine used to say: You don’t have time to stay consistent with your workouts. Being healthy and fit is too expensive. Good nutrition isn’t possible for me cause I’d blow it then fall off the wagon. I wouldn’t know what I was doing while working out and would feel self-conscious, like everyone was judging me! We ALL find ways to make peace with things we’re doing or not doing. Poking through those belief ceilings was one of the BEST things I’ve ever done. 👊 What are yours?? Maybe it’s time to make them your new floor with me. 👟👟 (while Kitty makes me a new floor out of my arm 🐱😆)
