Get it? Cause I electrocuted him. @gearsloose - Tumblr Blog

Username Change

marching_greek —> gearsloose

I did not expect this username to be free so WIN ig lmfao

I don't know which of you needs to hear this but "narc" is not short for "narcissist" when someone calls you a "narc" for snitching they are calling you a "narcotics officer"

gaesnek

monkey-mulch

technically narc isnt even short for narcotics officer its just cant for Cop, I believe Roma in origin

red-mercer

I read years ago in a book that it was derived from nakk, Romani for nose, as in someone who always has their nose in other people's business

grimeclown

ITS DERIVED FROM "NARCO" AS IN "NARCOTICS" WHAT FUCKING BOOK

grimeclown

Okay you know what pulling back on my derision because i can see how this mistake would be made but narc and nark are etymologically unrelated

headspace-hotel

Etymology is always doing some shit like this

bogleech

Convergent evolution.

bisexual-engineer-girl

Linguistic crab

backofthebookshelf

Two entire linguistic traditions have merged to remind you not to be a fuckin narc

vulcandroid

i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it

roachpatrol

Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”

Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”

lilian-cho

@sineala

star-lord

#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan

moonsofavalon

“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”

*prolonged silence* “oh my…”

“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”

*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”

evilminji

Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”

lierdumoa

The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.

Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:

adreadfulidea-deactivated202402

I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.

kaijuerotica

Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.

tanukiham

actual footage of first contact makeouts

saucefactory-deactivated2019103

The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes Cockrane’s–I’m sorry, Cochrane’s–hand… The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual… It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkar’s part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.

That’s why he’s so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar can’t believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him can’t believe how good it is.

I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkar’s pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochrane’s firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.

No wonder Solkar is all like, “TAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.”

explorerrowan

And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.

zinglebert-bembledack

Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.

gallifreyanwriter

#somehow the idea of vulcans being Horny On Main always gives me the giggles#like literally all they had to do#was be like actually#hand contact is very intimate for our species#and im p sure humanity as a whole would not find that insurmountably weird#there are human cultures that dont shake hands#vulcans are logical enough to think that through on their own#so clearly that vulcan was just down to fuck#down to fuck in a public#professional diplomatic situation no less#and he did not fucking care who knew it (via kittykatthetacodemon)

hazeldomain

Some Vulcan: we could probably just explain that handshakes are intimate in our culture

Solkar, rubbing lip gloss on his hand: don’t tell me how to do my job

dirhwangdaseul-archived

This is my favourite Star Trek post, complete with headcanons, corrections, the truth coming out of her well to shame Spock even. Seriously perfect fandom work.

theloverislost

as we are rapidly approaching pride month, here’s an obligatory reminder!

AROMANTIC PEOPLE

ASEXUAL PEOPLE

AND AROACE PEOPLE

ALL BELONG IN THE LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY

I WILL REMOVE EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY IF YOU SAY OTHERWISE

probuccalfat

pewdiepie was one of the harbingers of the alt right internet apocalypse i hate that skinny white man with all my heart

you-d-prefer-an-astronaut

I blame him (at least partially) for the rise in anti-indian racism in the late 2010s to today and people look at me like I'm the friend who's too woke when I say that. But it's true

probuccalfat

and you’d be right to blame him. he normalized the rise in anti-indian and anti-desi racism through “jokes.” it took me forever to take pride in my indian heritage bc of the culture he helped set up.

yandere-angela

you ever think about how mr beast is real life monokuma

acerby

I believe Mr Beast is just itching for the day he can do a real death game. I think he constantly pitches it to his team and they just keep going "not yet, but soon"

girlnephew

env0

innerchildabortionclinic

okay this property I reblogged has some people in disagreement with me that it is largely a monstrosity. so i'm curious on more opinions

is this a nice looking house? (interior pics in link)

no, mcmansion vibes

yes, it's uniquely charming

Voting ended onJun 5

#while I would live here and I think it rules #it's still ugly #tf you need ramparts over your garage for??#is someone gonna throw a fucking javalin at your toyota RAV4?

sanchomps

WRATH MONTH NOW

damnfandomproblems

Fandom Problem #15,030:

I'm not listening to shit about "subtext" from people who don't even understand the actual fucking text

sanguine-scales

i think something a lot of people don't get is that years of mocking your child, even in jest, does in fact tend to get under their skin

sanguine-scales

a decade or two of even light verbal harassment is very much accentuated when it's an authority figure you are in every meaningful way subservient to

hamlettheedane

imagine u meet louis de pointe du lac at the club and u offer him a sip of ur white monster and he says No thanks I already have one of those

upsettingandunfortunateclasshate

When Tess Morgan's son came home with a tattoo, she was griefstricken. She knew her reaction was OTT (he's 21) but it signalled a change in their relationship

This is gold this, absolute gold, the most over the top melodramatic hysterical ridiculous thing I’ve ever read

brawlcloud

This is actually so interesting to read- it’s from 2012 but its full of the same anxieties, even some of the same phrasing that many of the guardian’s later pieces on transness use. really hammers home how much of the terfism that emerged in the late 10s was middle class mothers angry at a loss of control over their adult children- whether that be their bodies or their friends or their opinions- and making that everyone’s problem because they have the power to do so

monkey-cat-vivi

He says, “I’m still the same person.”

I look at him, sitting there, my 21-year-old son. I feel I’m being interviewed for a job I don’t even want. I say, “But you’re not. You’re different. I will never look at you in the same way again. It’s a visceral feeling. Maybe because I’m your mother. All those years of looking after your body – taking you to the dentist and making you drink milk and worrying about green leafy vegetables and sunscreen and cancer from mobile phones. And then you let some stranger inject ink under your skin. To me, it seems like self-mutilation. If you’d lost your arm in a car accident, I would have understood. I would have done everything to make you feel better. But this – this is desecration. And I hate it.”

quasi-normalcy

Also just the classism of her associating tattoos with “vest tops, dogs on chains, broken beer glasses”; like, just say you hate poor people

adventures-in-poor-planning

prayer to whichever dead catholic person is most appropriate: may I not have to run a whole week of surprise camps on crutches. in a knee brace.

adventures-in-poor-planning

Im agnostic raised liberal protestant, but absolutely the catholics got saints right. Sometimes your problem is so fucking specific you need Some Guy. If you're listening, Guy of Workers Who Have Strain Injuries,

adventures-in-poor-planning