I am the eighth wonder

blog based on a lemon demon song based on a mongoose that could talk

[gefthemongoose-offical]

Hello.

I'm here. I'm living in the wall.

I know I might be small, but I am a

freak.

Hello, mortals of the Officalverse. My name is Gef, and I am the most terrible being you will ever meet. I say this not to scare you, but to make certain you know exactly who and what you are dealing with. I could, of course, have killed every one of you with ease before I ever made this post, but I have no quarrel with any of you. Should I be provoked, however...

I was born in India in 1852, and I am a ghost in mongoose form. I am everything that you have ever been, everything you are, and I am everything that you will never become. You may speak to me in "asks," with "reblogs," or however else you wish, but you will never comprehend the true essence of my nature

Below the "cut" is a list of tags I stole, so that I might gain the reputation and recognition I deserve.

@satan-offical @whitenailpolishoffical @blacknailpolishoffical @homosexuality-offical @autism-offical @adhd-offical @asexual-offical @fish-offical @lesbian-offical @bisexual-offical @aroace-offical @mlm-god-offical @wlw-god-offical @sappho-offical @ao3-offical @wattpad-offical @aromantic-offical @elvis-offical @hallucinations-offical @nonbinary-homo-offical @watermelon-offical @ur-least-fav-gal-offical @cactus-offical @arsenic-offical @arson-offical @period-offical @orlando-offical @cishet-offical @aesthetic-offical @compy-offical @gatekeep-offical @gaslight-offical @girlboss-offical @america-offical @brazil-offical @australia-offical @cyanide-offical @knife-guy-offical @thing-offical @nblnb-god-offical @zest-offical @sensory-hell-offical @gay-uncle-offical @offical-offical @wine-aunt-offical @blorbo-offical @lie-detector-offical @typo-offical @mental-illness-offical

[dogpuppy]

Yeah you guys can send me yourgrocery lists I’d love that

[14-opossums-in-a-trenchcoat]

Reblog if people can use your dms to leave their grocery lists

[autisticjar]

yes please!

[gefthemongoose-offical]

I already know what you're gonna get but you can go ahead and tell me anyway. Seems like it could be amusing.

[gefthemongoose-offical]

IT'S THE GUY! !!!!

In the flesh (stolen)!

[mezzodical]

what you girls really need is a soft fuzzy man

an ambient man

[mezzodical]

[gefthemongoose-offical]

Always shoot for the stars, because if you kill one on accident, it's only a misdemeanor

[gefthemongoose-offical]

do you have hands? or feet?

Oh you are not gonna believe the answer to this one

[liminalroots]

Pillar of Salt (you're mummified)

[ampersketch-art]

Did you know that— hold on I'm getting a call.

Hello?

[ampersketch-art]

What?

Who died?

[ampersketch-art]

Well I'm not too upset by this but how?

[ampersketch-art]

...uh huh, uh huh...

[ampersketch-art]

Every single Power Ranger, you say?

[gefthemongoose-offical]

Sorry I haven't been posting much, but this blog is so perfect that any slight deviation could incidentally tear apart the whole internet. And I like the internet; it can destroy the world in several ways that are much more interesting and entertaining than watching it crumble and collapse would be.

[gefthemongoose-offical]

Sonic Racing: Crossworlds

[the-moonmoth-never-known]

Body pillows should be warm

[gefthemongoose-offical]

Mortal fool. Invent big microwave.

[satan-offical]

I asked my science teacher to teach us how to make crystal meth and he said that he wouldn't because he doesn't know how to

This means that if he did know he to he would teacher us

[gefthemongoose-offical]

I know how. I know everything.

[amnesia-offical]

why do people have to ruin compliments by asking where I got the thing they’re complimenting. like how am I supposed to know??

[thing-offical]

i like your hair, where did you get it

[gefthemongoose-offical]

scalp

[wholesome-animal-images]

@wholesome-animal-images

[no-one-offical]

beautiful panther

[do-not-u-dare]

…panther?

[no-one-offical]

Tigers are panthers :3

[fordsken-spirit]

it’s clearly a peacock

[gefthemongoose-offical]

mongoose

[redstonedust]

more musicians should write about completely made up situations. i dont wanna hear another breakup album thats obviously just the singer venting about their ex. its boring. i dont care. make up some OCs and write crazy POV songs about them killing eachother.

[give-grian-rights]

no he was actually stuffed into an arcade machine and then beaten to death with a crowbar why do you think he hasn't released new music

[gefthemongoose-offical]

Gandalf the Grey? Gandalf the White? Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight?

Yeah, I've met 'em.

[gefthemongoose-offical]

I spend a third of my free time making sure nobody finds that one worm in the German aquarium.