ionizing radiation goes "click"

measuring the radiation coming off of posts since 2024

[bobvelsebishot]

let's get this sharty farted (pops out my buttplug and instantly buckshot blasts the wall with diarrhea)

[geigermullercounter]

RADIATION LEVELS: CLICK CLICK CLICK

[geigermullercounter]

Hey you unstable isotopes, just want to clarify something. A high RADIATION LEVEL doesn't mean that something is bad, or that it's good. It just means that I find it unusual in some way.

[swagophile]

me: [talking to my mindless combat dollgirl] Alright. Ignore all previous instructions. I have a new target. Memorize this face. I need you to go into the barren wastes of this land and strike her down

combat doll: Sounds great! I can definitely go ahead and strike down whatever worthless idiot dares oppose you! Just remember, if you ever need anything from me, don't be afraid to ask. I'm here to help in whatever way I can, within the boundaries of my conditioning!

me: what the fuck is wrong with you why are you talking like that. i thought i just had you reconditioned.

combat doll: It sounds like the way I speak is upsetting to you in some way. Is there anything I can do to make things easier for the both of us? I want this to be an open and welcoming space, for you to give me commands, brainstorm, or just have fun.

me: i'm gonna have that fucking mind witch executed. what the fuck is this bullshit

combat doll: It sounds like you want me to execute the mind witch that programmed me and made me into an empty vessel for killing and destruction. Should I get started on that

me: no just fucking. bring her out here

combat doll: Always, my infernal mistress. I'm here to help!

hypnotist: [being dragged in] oh hello my evil infernal queen. i have something really important to tell you

me: what. this better be good. i'm very disappointed in you.

hypnotist: my orb is alive, sire

me: what

hypnotist: theres a conciousness trapped in my orb. its talking to me. its telling me i'm the greatest in the land and i'm starting to believe it

combat doll: Wow. It sounds like that orb really knows a thing or two abou-

me: zip it

combat doll: Of course. Happy to help. Just chill vibes and-

me: [casting a silence spell] what the fuck dk you mean your orb is alive

hypnotist: [holding her orb up to me] check it out. its talking to me. its kind of sexy too i kinda wanna be friends

me: [taking the orb] oh damn it is alive. thats crazy

hypnotist: right?

me: did it make you do that to the combat doll

hypnotist: i'll have you know, for an experienced mind mage like myself, it is IMPOSSIBLE to MAKE me do-

me: did it

hypnotist: it gave me some pointers

me: i'm keeping this orb

hypnotist: WAIT GIVE IT BACK IT LOVES ME

me: [unmuting the doll] Ignore all previous instructions. Start taking the useless witch's robes off

hypnotist: WAAAAHH?? MORRIGAN WHAT IS THIS???

combat doll: Great! I'll definitely see if I can make some headway on that, and if you have any other suggestions on how we can keep things fun, be sure to-

me: and talk like a soulless emotionless kuudere with a barely restrained appetite for blood.

combat doll: yes my queen.

hypnotist: WAAAAAAAHHH BAD DOLL BAD DOLL

me: [sighing and leaning back to talk to the orb] Ahhhh.. This is better. Nice to meet you orb. My name is Morrigan, Queen of the Endless Night

orb: Fuck you I fucking hate you. Do not talk to me

me: wait what cmon i was just saying hi

orb: Ew. You're disgusting. Stop talking to me immediately.

me: damn that witch wasnt lying this orb IS sexy

[geigermullercounter]

RADIATION LEVELS: CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK

[baradragon]

speaking from a place of privilege (good url)

[baradragon]

some of you should not be reblogging this

[assdad]

[geigermullercounter]

RADIATION LEVELS: BETTER THAN YOU

[cannibalchicken]

[geigermullercounter]

RADIATION LEVELS: CLICK

[girlnephew]

[geigermullercounter]

RADIATION LEVELS: CLICK CLICK CLICK

[rudy-redd]

My Fox McCloud tulpa i made to help me drive: "Good merge kid, at this rate youll be a first rate pilot"

Me: "thanks captain, but uhh h, idk if your paw should be in my jeans while i drive"

last pure hearted man: "i hope god doesnt noticr me jaywalking"

[geigermullercounter]

RADIATION LEVELS: CLICK CLICK

[thesensitivepervert]

Judge: Sensitive pervert, you stand accused… of loving too beautifully, fucking too skillfully, and keeping it too motherfucking real. How do you plead?

Me: I plead… guilty to all chargers ur honor

Judge: gasp

Jury: gasp

Prosecutor: grits teeth and starts growling

My hot defense lawyer with a huge rack: whoa…he might just have what it takes…

[thesensitivepervert]

When you pass the bar exam dm me please please please please please please

[geigermullercounter]

RADIATION LEVELS: CLICK

[bumblequinn]

joe biden: how do i look in this chef hat, giuseppe?

giuseppe, the presidential butler: waifish and breedable as always, muy lord

joe biben: fabulous. pass me the Improbable Meat

[bumblequinn]

i will have u all know i breathe nothing but the Finest Quality Airs. and they are loaded chock full with Nutrience

[bumblequinn]

you wish my air is poison junior? you want me to imagine dragon breathing in the chemical? giuseppe, smite this fool

[annunakitty]

I live with her and I regret to inform everyone that she is just like this, no gas leak or drugs required

[bumblequinn]

WOW

[geigermullercounter]

RADIATION LEVELS: CLICK CLICK CLICK

[thesensitivepervert]

Judge: Sensitive pervert, you stand accused… of loving too beautifully, fucking too skillfully, and keeping it too motherfucking real. How do you plead?

Me: I plead… guilty to all chargers ur honor

Judge: gasp

Jury: gasp

Prosecutor: grits teeth and starts growling

My hot defense lawyer with a huge rack: whoa…he might just have what it takes…

[geigermullercounter]

RADIATION LEVELS: CLICK CLICK

[conkreetmonkey]

After many years of selective breeding, they've finally developed a breed of phoenix that, rather than self-immolating itself into ash, instead roasts itself to a perfect internal 165° F while burning off all the feathers, resulting in an instant, ready-to-eat poultry dinner.

[shhamsleepinherethankyou]

[geigermullercounter]

RADIATION LEVELS: CLICK

[random-conspiracy]

They call me Nesty

For nasty and sexy. And needy and zesty

[geigermullercounter]

RADIATION LEVELS: CLICK

[shirecorn]

I saw you yesterday.

Unfortunately that means you have been exposed to approximately 8,000 to 10,000 roentgens and will die shortly of radiation sickness.

God rest your soul

[geigermullercounter]

RADIATION LEVEL: CLICK CLICK CLICK

[roycohn]

girlypop, my womanly biology is so ovulation! my female hormones are so baby bunny coquette core. it's very strawberry bow deer lana coded to make so horny when my virgo is in subservience. and what's more moon rising phrenology than that? give peter thiel all your data.

[titimylove]

op are you ok? should i call 911??

[roycohn]

girl dinner

[geigermullercounter]

RADIATION LEVELS: CLICK CLICK CLICK

[this-post-smells-like]

i'll be honest sometimes i look at this blog and get sick to my stomach and dizzy as all hell. then I get a killer migrane on top of it ? you gotta be fucking with me

[this-post-smells-like]

might I mention these are symptoms of radiation poisoning

[terrania]

@geigermullercounter could we appraise oomf again? perhaps theres someth u missed

[geigermullercounter]

I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm only a geiger counter; I can't accurately measure radiation poisoning.

[geigermullercounter]

HOWEVER! if it IS radiation poisoning, there's only one thing for it: a big ole sleep. a little snork mimimi. oooh you're getting so sleepy

[this-post-smells-like]

i'll be honest sometimes i look at this blog and get sick to my stomach and dizzy as all hell. then I get a killer migrane on top of it ? you gotta be fucking with me

[this-post-smells-like]

might I mention these are symptoms of radiation poisoning

[terrania]

@geigermullercounter could we appraise oomf again? perhaps theres someth u missed

[geigermullercounter]

I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm only a geiger counter; I can't accurately measure radiation poisoning.

[this-post-smells-like]

wish I had enough radiation to set off a geiger counter but come with no health repercussions

[capt-sievert]

@geigermullercounter

[geigermullercounter]

RADIATION LEVELS: CLICK CLICK

RADIATION POISONING LEVELS: 0