Genzennial Friends

The One with the Parody Reboot

[connorwyndham]

F.R.I.E.N.D.S (1994–2004) 1X04 “The One With George Stephanopoulos”

[connorwyndham]

F.R.I.E.N.D.S (1994–2004) 4X08 « The One With Chandler In A Box »

[hmione]

FRIENDS (1994-2004) 04.09 — The One Where They're Going to Party

[emotional-emotion]

mood

[genzennialfriends]

The One with the Jobs

Chandler becomes worried - and then then secretly excited - at the prospect of AI taking his job. To his dismay, he is promoted.

Rachel works two waitressing jobs - Central Perk, and the same restaurant as Monica - to hide her tip income.

The the gang plays “Phoebe or Ursula” and start making bets on who they saw in an Odd Scenario.

“So you’re telling me you have an entire year of savings to fall back on if you get laid off?”

“Well, six months if you include my dependents.”

“…”

“Joey and Ross.”

[genzennialfriends]

Emily was 100% right about going no-contact with Rachel.

[genzennialfriends]

Phoebe Buffay

The longer you know her, the crazier the lore gets:

She speaks fluent French and everyone finds out when she’s randomly approached by tourists.

Identical twin sister? Oh yeah, she works as a waitress over in the next borough.

Didn’t you know she was homeless as a teenager and that’s why she knows how to use a switchblade? (Sorry about that mugging, Ross.)

She’s a registered massage therapist, a strict vegan, and lives with her grandmother in a rent controlled apartment. Loves plants. Lived with Monica until they realized they couldn’t live together due to their vastly different cooking and cleaning philosophies. Her close friendship with Ross is baffling until you realize that they like to get high together on the weekends and that she is subconsciously trying to make up for mugging him all those years ago. (Again, sorry!)

[genzennialfriends]

The One With the Binge Watching

Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe enjoy night in with a New Girl marathon, pizza, and wine. They compare their lives with the character’s lives and find themselves lacking until they remember it’s a TV show.

Chandler, Joey, and Ross get tickets to a Rangers game. Ross gets hurt thanks to an enthusiastic fan, and the guys wait for hours in Urgent Care. Ross quickly becomes a meme.

“How did they afford that apartment?”

“It’s just a television show, Pheebs, don’t worry about it.”

[genzennialfriends]

Chandler Bing

His mother writes erotica and has recently sold the movie rights to her fairytale smut series. His father owns a famous all-male burlesque in Las Vegas. They had split custody.

Some people would have this upbringing and grow up to be extremely confident and comfortable in their own skin. Unfortunately for Chandler, his parents’ ugly divorce made that impossible.

He’d rather make a sarcastic comment than acknowledge an uncomfortable feeling. Makes a lot of money at a corporate job no one really understands. Lives with Joey - and now Ross - and has to constantly tell his parents that no, neither of those guys is his boyfriend; yes, he knows it’s ok if he were gay; and he’s absolutely not smoking again. (He vapes.)

[genzennialfriends]

The One with the Red Flags

Monica isn’t sure if it’s a red flag that all her friends like her new boyfriend.

Chandler starts secretly vaping behind everyone’s backs.

Phoebe discovers her local vegan bakery buys their goods from a national chain. They end up giving her free pastries whenever she comes in, which she immediately gives to homeless people.

“Wait, if us liking him is a red flag does that mean WE’RE the red flags?”

[hezenkoss]

posting niche fic on ao3 is like releasing a small creature into the wild and hoping it survives and finds sustenance

[hezenkoss]

got one whole comment… the small creature may yet survive the winter

[bruntalism]

[despazito]

thinking about that kakapo egg that got crushed but the conservation team patched it up and it survived

[despazito]

life will persist against all odds

[despazito]

For those who don’t follow kakapo conservation, they are critically endangered parrots who only breed on years where the rimu tree they rely on meet a certain threshold of fruit production. One breeding season in 4 years can be typical, and about half of all eggs laid by kakapo are infertile (they still aren’t completely certain why, it could be a recent population bottleneck) so each fertile egg is worth its weight in gold.

This was one of only 5 fertile eggs laid on the Whenua Hou island population in the 2014 breeding season and it got crushed by its mother on accident. It was mended with glue and tape and incubated by the rangers until hatching.

At 150 days old kakapo chicks are officially added to the population total and given a unique name, until then they are given their mother’s name and a number for birth order laid in the clutch. This chick was known as Lisa-one before officially being given the name Ruapuke by local indigenous Ngai Tahu people.Here he is grown up:

[bogleech]

It’s sad when a species is so rare we know them all individually but at the same time I love that you can point at this one bird and say oh that’s Ruapuke, his mom sat on him too hard

[serenahaas]

[amygdalae]

i think “video games aren’t really the violent child-corrupting threat some parents worry they are” and “certain circles of gamer culture are incredibly toxic and can lead people down dangerous/hateful ideological rabbit holes” are ideas that can absolutely coexist

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

Artificial violence is not actually a corrupting influence but hanging out with assholes sure is.

[roach-works]

the real corruption was the friends we made along the way

[conphusedredpandaa]

Never forgotten but...never finished.

[genzennialfriends]

Ross Geller

The elder child (and only son) of a tiger mom, he did good - sort of. He’s got a phd, so he’s not that kind of doctor, but it’s pretty close! He’s a post-doc researcher making an ok living, had some articles published, got married at the right age, and everything was going great… until his wife came out.

Now he’s crashing on his old college roommate’s couch and lamenting about how he has to start a new Netflix profile because his ex kicked him off hers. He smokes weed with Phoebe on the weekends.