everything is ruined.

aka V, she/her, Canadian. I barely even go here anymore.

[tsunderrated]

Oh you thought I would be your golden retriever boyfriend? Sorry I’m your husky boyfriend. AWOWOOOOOROTOTOOOOOOAUAUAUAUAUAUAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAWAWAEAEAEAEAWAWAWAWAWAAAAAAAAA

[prokopetz]

Friend groups in the movies: Unshakably united by shared traumas, secret handshakes, and reminiscence of better days.

Friend groups in real life: Unshakably united by cryptic references to that one time one of you managed to mispronounce the word "shrimp".

[pukicho]

Whats wrong, you barely touched your pellets

[mosscaller]

I need a mix of wet and dry food.

[pukicho]

What the fuck. You talk?

[galecstatic]

recentering the exact moment shane realized he prefers being the hole rather than the peg

[porcelainmortal]

This, he realized, was why people were so wild about sex. He had never, ever felt like this with anyone before. And of course Ilya Rozanov, all of nineteen years old, fucked with the confidence and skill of, like, a sex god.

[discoursedrome]

they're always bringing experts or activists on the news to agitate about porn and there's a standard script for this that's like "I think sex education is important, I'm not anti-sex, but so much of this porn is violent and misogynistic if not outright illegal, and it's far too accessible to our children"

I want to see someone finally be brave enough to say that the government should just make its own porn for teenagers that accords with community values, so they don't have to go to these shady places to get it. I think the government porn would probably be pretty bad but I would be so eager to hear about the process of designing it. there would be so many stakeholders and consultations. in canada it would have to be bilingual

[dickgirlsdaily]

[quendergeer]

no-one would find it at all sexy at first but then in 20 years there'd be a thriving fetish scene where people develop elaborate codes and practices around culturally-embedded tropes from government porn

[quendergeer]

guy who can only get off when his dom pretends to be badly dubbed into quebecois french

[aukkenopsia]

I like this thing a lot. It's got a good shape.

[shutyourmoustache]

*whispers* serving buster keaton realness in 2025 is such a move.

[cecoeur]

well...yes 🙂‍↕️ (and exactly the type of response you give to a People reporter when you're the Hudson Williams)

[aphantasias]

the avoidant attachment style whine is going in my top ten ilya noises folder

[fedorathexplorer]

I really can’t believe I’ve been on this hell site for 8 years

[chrownox]

Impart me in your wisdom of ancient times

[fedorathexplorer]

one time there was a tumblr user with the url “pizza” and she would just comment on any text post about pizza saying “omg that’s me” and then we found out she had an entire tag dedicated to saying the n word

[thetyrannosaur]

One time somebody paid $750 for the url ‘hi’ and got deleted in less than a year for promoting weight loss scams

[bathykolpian]

There’s always been something deeply wrong with this place.

[superwholock]

too much to document, but god damn we can try

[whereserpentswalk]

Seeing that this was from 2019 is like how ancient Egypt had people who studied even more ancient versions of Egypt.

[fresh-bag-of-ham]

it's the best game you can name 🍆💦👅

[fresh-bag-of-ham]

the reviews are in! thanks for watching 🥰🫡😈😜

[smokingrozanov]

Worrying about Shane Hollander until I remember he’s a landlord. Girl you deserve worse than getting ghosted

[smokingrozanov]

Ilya calls giving Shane head ‘the guillotine’ when he learns what a capitalist he is btw

[bornfreakdraws]

The moment Ilya begun thinking about that Canadian passport, probably

[offline-crowbot]

My hottest fanfiction take is I think people should stop posting multi-fandom oneshots as a single fic with like 50+ chapters and instead post them as individual fics

[chadhulk]

I have mixed thoughts on sex work. I love sex, but I hate work!

[kybercrystalgems]

“Yeah, we hate seeing you work too!”

[burglarsonarceny]

how does this post keep getting better

[galecstatic]

today i offer you a complete premium main course meal girl breakfast girl lunch and girl dinner

[hrgifs]

We haven't had time to see your show yet. It's about hockey, right? Yeah, kind of.