toad lesbian

🔞 ✡️ 🇵🇸 some-stars on bluesky AO3 // buy me a coffee

[pics-that-make-you-go-hmm]

[some-stars]

Euripides’ Bacchae, 405 BC (colorized)

[makingtrouble]

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

[makingtrouble]

Actually I've decided this is a poem

[bauliya]

everyone's like wehhhhh why doesn't doctor house gets suuuueeed! like my man. literally every patient he sees is someone that's been trying to find a diagnosis for ages. i could live with a little medical malpractice if it were coming from someone ready to break into my home to look for allergens and not simply half heartedly listen to me before suggesting I lose weight and take ages of back and forth arguing to order a single test

[bauliya]

"it's medical malpractice" have u ever been a doctor? most medicine is malpractice. let the man limp around chewing vicodin doing 50 invasive tests please

[clodiuspulcher]

Once Taub (derogatory) derisively said about a patient with unexplained chronic pain “7 doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with him, what does that mean?” and House replied without even thinking “it means they’re idiots” and proceed to work his ass off to diagnose the patient Taub wanted to write off as a faker or something. If a doctor had said that when that patient was ME, I wouldn’t dream of suing them in a million years

[waxcat]

[bigbigbigtruck]

Edit to add: i dont know what it says about me that i had to look up rouge the bat but can draw hugh laurie from memory

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[whitachi]

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

[araceil]

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

[argumate]

I keep thinking this! very frustrating

[argumate]

fuck!

[thelightcomingthroughthewindow]

Podfic is the ultimate portmanteau btw

[electroshocktherapist-deactivat]

everytime I’m reminded that men will straight up complain about how pussy smells and there’s a whole industry around women buying products trying to cure it like some kind of disease it Goes in the evidence pile towards heterosexuality being some kind of obligation based death cult wherein each side despises one another truly and deeply . What I wanted to post is I would huff pussy smell out of a paper bag in a back alley like it’s paint fumes but the thought went elsewhere

[queer-scots-geordie-dyke]

The Archbishop of Canterbury is secretly messaging people on tumblr. Seems totally legit 🤔🤣

[iamnmbr3]

This is the funniest scam I’ve ever seen

[teh-nos]

[rabbithaver]

BREAKING NEWS: SCIENTISTS* DISCOVER** FIRST*** EVIDENCE**** FOR MICROBIAL LIFE***** ON MARS******

*im a citizen scientist with no accreditations

**frankly he was probably there before i observed him

***we have had many before

****blurry low-res pictures of my mom's camera preview screen

*****baby cottontail bunny (small)

******actually in colorado backyard

[penny-anna]

Anyway uh unfortunately: some of the anti Nolan's odyssey takes on this website are really skewing into conservativism.

[penny-anna]

This is about that 1 Menelaus post. Playing Menelaus as a bad husband to Helen isn't new & even if it was, it's a completely reasonable way to go with the story. 'oh but Menelaus isn't like that' Menelaus is made up oh my god

[penny-anna]

Anyways changes made in adaptation are not necessarily consequence free - if an adaptation gets popular enough it can begin to eclipse the original work which can complicate engaging with said original work. This can happen even with really ancient stories.

That said: adaptational changes are inevitable and in fact desirable and if you experience a strong negative emotional reaction to them it's useful to try and curb that. It's not a good way to go about media criticism. 👍

[sapphling]

and honestly it's just fucking insane that every time we try to talk about harm to children in particular we have to talk circles around the fact that these things are very, very overwhelmingly done by parents/family members/teachers/religious leaders/known and trusted adults in a position of power over a child, to the extent that many people's suggested solution to child abuse is "give the people most likely to abuse a child EVEN MORE strangling legal and material power over the kid"

[sapphling]

you're not supposed to actually address who is abusing children and what can be done to give those children recourse and the ability to leave abusive situations because nobody actually gives a shit about child abuse beyond the familial property rights violation it represents to them and the cudgel against minorities which it can be turned into

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

You see something broadly similar in nursing where you have to tip toe round the fact that nurses can directly and intentionally harm patients; one of the most common phrases you'll hear when trying to address an issue is something like "well no nurse is coming to work deliberately wanting to hurt their patients". I don't say this to derail from the issue of protecting children from their parents/guardians, i say it because i think it highlights the consistent problems that not offending the sensibilities of people in positions of power over vulnerable people is seen as more important then actually protecting those vulnerable people. "How dare you suggest I'm a bad parent, I'm not going to listen to anything you say because clearly you just hate me, and my feelings are clearly the real issue now" type mindset that means you end you talking circles around issues trying not offend anyone instead of directly addressing what is wrong

[seracadash]

crazy concept. imagine

[fellahimedia]

It is so unsettling that Obama has killed thousands via drones covered up that children were being killed and families were wiped out and relatives have to live with the fact theyll never get justice and now I have to see people repost his reading list every year. Liberals would be horrified if Putin did something like that but when its Obama or Bush or Clinton they just dont care

[womenintheirwebss]

the fact that he felt comfortable enough to write this evil shit in his book.

[mizoguchi]

Black Myths Podcast did a whole episode talking about the self made mythologizing of Obama that's worth a listen

In this episode we sit down with Dr. Jared Ball and Dr. Todd Steven Burroughs to break down the myth of the "Anti-Obama Race Traitor." They dig into how that label was often weaponized to silence policy-based critiques of Barack Obama, forcing people to choose between unquestioning support or being ostracized. The conversation centers on how Obama’s public identity was a carefully constructed media strategy. The guests talk about how he learned to code-switch and use symbolic language to appeal to both Black voters and white power structures, all while avoiding any real challenge to the status quo. They reflect on how even among Black activists and intellectuals, there was an intense pressure to fall in line, often at the expense of independent political analysis. They also get into how this era set a template for other Black political figures to follow, prioritizing access and symbolism over radical policy demands. It’s a pretty candid look back at a time when criticizing the first Black president could get you labeled a traitor, even when those criticisms were based on his actual record, his cabinet appointments, and his imperialist policies. Ultimately, they discuss how the Obama years are being rebranded today as a "golden era," which they argue obscures the reality of what actually went down and the long-term consequences for Black political thought.

[fellahimedia]

Its actually not "extremely dodgy" because I thought it was pretty clear I meant by "if putin did something like that" as in if putin posted on his instagram his reading list or his Spotify that people would say who cares you bomb people. Idk how this got lost in translation but clearing it up for the people in my comments

[swarnpert]

[putting-swears-back-in-images]

There is so much fucking rage in my fucking heart when I see people censor the swears

I saw someone censor their own fucking fanfic description on AO3!!! "[The characters] f*ck." DO THEY??? DO THEY?!?!??! HOW CAN I TRUST YOU TO WRITE THE FUCKING WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN DARE USE THE WORD.

Your blog soothes my rage. You make right what has gone wrong.

God fucking bless you.

Honestly yeah tho. That’s why I fucking do this. There is a lot of complying in advance I am seeing that we do not need to be doing at all.

Do not lay belly up and die. Say fuck like your life depends on it.

[the-haiku-bot]

Do not lay belly

up and die. Say fuck like your

life depends on it.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[dickstolebyanalien]

hot ones seems tailormade for a hitman mission. important person eating poisonable food in public, bald guy to impersonate, its all there. presumably some kind of clockwork dollhouse of employees to surveil and subvert somewhere offscreen in the black void

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Natsuki Yonetani throws out Amira Hondras at first in the WPBL's inaugural game