@raggedyblue @sarahthecoat
So, is this how the location scouting went?
BBC location scouts: “Looking for a flat with paintings of a Moriarty style swimming pool, an elephant (multiple elephants preferred), something romance-y along the lines of Venice or whatever and a little red house because Sherlock’s fake parents in s3 will live in a little red house and we need to foreshadow some shit, alright. Applicants please contact XYZ.”
Half of Britain: *goes on a wild painting spree in their living room*
BTW, this also makes me wonder how the location scouting for the infamous ‘Buckingham Palace’ scene in ASiB went…
BBC location scouts: “For a Buckingham Palace scene with two lovers (ie, one naked sexy protagonist and one salivating soldier), we are looking for a location with an old painting or tapestry depicting A) a naked person and B) a salivating person. A cupid would be an added bonus.”
Goldsmiths Hall: *looks at their tapestry of Cleopatra and Mark Antony*… *raises hand and eagerly jumps up and down* “We’ve got one of those. You can film your thing here.”
BBC location scout: “Is the naked person on your tapestry a bit exotic, eccentric, not necessarily a classic beauty, but gobsmackingly sexy?”
BBC location scout: “Has the naked person just loosely draped a dressing gown/sheet/loose piece of cloth over their naked form?”
BBC location scout: “Is the other person on your tapestry practically salivating because of this display of sexiness?”
BBC location scout: “Is the salivating person on your tapestry a brave soldier and military commander?”
BBC location scout: “Are the two lovers sitting on the same piece of furniture: sofa, chaise longue or whatever?”
Goldsmiths Hall: “Absolutely.”
BBC location scout: “Sounds like we can film our scene right underneath your tapestry in that case… Wait! Are the two people on your tapestry in love?”
Goldsmiths Hall: “Madly. Love at first sight, actually.”
BBC location scout: “Perfect.”
Goldsmiths Hall: “There’s a cupid on the tapestry as well, you know. He’s aiming his arrow right at the couple.”
BBC location scout: “Sounds like exactly what we need.”
Goldsmiths Hall: “There’s just this one thing you see…The naked person on our tapestry is…uhm…giving the soldier a lap dance.”
BBC location scout: “Ooooh…I like the sound of that. A lap dance! This could give our audience a hint as to what is to come in later seasons of our show. Foreshadowing, you know.”
Goldsmiths Hall: “What the hell are you filming? Is this for an adult film production? Because we’re not allowing any por-”
BBC location scout: “No, no, no. This is for the BBC. It’s a Sherlock Holmes adaptation.”
Goldsmiths Hall: * :O * “Sherlock Holmes?!!! What is the world coming to…”
BBC location scout: “So, can we rent the place?”
Goldsmiths Hall: “Wait, did we tell you that the Victorians tried to hide the lap dance on the tapestry?”
BBC location scout: “The Victorians, you say? That fits our purposes.”
Goldsmiths Hall: “Really? They painted over the lap dance because they found the sexiness too shocking. They tried to cover it all up.”
BBC location scout: “This fits our purposes.”
Goldsmiths Hall: “It’s just…The Victorian paint job was really bad. You can still see the lap dance through the dye. You get all these hints and clues as to what is going on. It’s really noticeable to any art fan who has eyes to see.”
BBC location scout: “This fits our purposes.”
Goldsmiths Hall: “Actually, the lap dance is even more conspicuous now because of all the dye that was applied to cover it up. It’s such an obvious cover-up.”
BBC location scout: “This fits our purposes.”
Goldsmiths Hall: “You sure?…You know the soldier on our tapestry actually committed suicide, right?”
BBC location scout: “Perfect.”
Goldsmiths Hall: “With his service weapon.”
BBC location scout: “Even better.”
Goldsmiths Hall: “And the naked person on the tapestry committed suicide using poison from a snake.”
BBC location scout: “Well…Snake…Cocaine…practically the same thing, right?”
Goldsmiths Hall: “Well, if you want, you could shoot your scene on a sofa right underneath the tapestry.”
BBC location scout: “That fits.”
Goldsmiths Hall: “There’s just one other thing…”
BBC location scout: “What now?”
Goldsmiths Hall: “The naked person on our tapestry is…a queen.”
BBC location scout: *shrugs* “Oh, well, in a sense, that fits too.”
(Meta about the tapestry in ASiB here:x)
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