styofa doing anything
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
★
i don't do bad sauce passes
Claire Keane
DEAR READER
NASA
titsay
Show & Tell
Today's Document
todays bird
Jules of Nature
One Nice Bug Per Day
$LAYYYTER
Cosimo Galluzzi
cherry valley forever
Sweet Seals For You, Always
KIROKAZE
occasionally subtle
Three Goblin Art
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Puerto Rico
seen from Singapore
seen from Australia
seen from Mexico
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from India
seen from Türkiye
seen from Germany
@ghosty-pal
just hallucinated only the bottom right panel and started giggling and decided i wanted to find the real thing to laugh about it again. and i couodnt so i had to go into my boyfriends dms and ask them if "do you have truckparts"
gonna be so real i did not realize the bottom was about purchasing and shipping automobile parts. I thought they were straight up intending to kill and dismantle the UPS truck like some auto mechanic apex predator.
the other day a friend of a friend referred to "busting out of your abdomen like the alien from the Predator films" and I was completely caught off guard. like I guess that's - that's not wrong. the alien was. okay she was in the Predator films. well some of them. but like. she had her own. she's the alien from the Alien films. like. they have her name on them. he's not "King Kong from the Godzilla films"
ragebaiting lemonade stand owner with one simple order
i tried explaining to this girl at a party once how i could be gay and asexual at the same time and it basically boils down to never being into anyone but like once a year i’ll find a man attractive. and she was like “so what am i if i only like girls, and i’ve never found any of my boyfriends attractive and and i just wanna do cocaine all the time?” i was like “you’re a lesbian with a coke addiction?” and she was like “woooooah”. she broke up with her boyfriend that night and had a threesome with two girls in the bathtub. rebecca if you’re out there, i hope you’re going places. well, not far, since you’re electronically tagged. but spiritually.
“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know
knowing that the past tense of "hang" is "hanged" when it's a method of execution can be very entertaining because you'll be watching a horror movie and someone goes "local legend says a woman was hung in these woods" and you're like "👀 good for her I guess"
hate when I type :) and this 🙂 fucker appears. Go away you evil soul
Sometimes you hear a song and a fic pops into your head full formed. This is a trap. The fic may be fully formed in your brain, but you still Have to write it down. This is an important step that most people forget about.
There are 2 types of fanfic:
fanfic that I like
fanfic that is none of my business
I think people would be less suicidal if they were allowed to talk about being suicidal without risk of being sent to the Torture Dungeon
"missed all of your vital organs" is such a scathing injury report if that happened to me i would never let the person who maimed me live it down. you had a 1 in 7 chance and more than 50% of my body's surface area to target and you fucking blew it. cope and seethe over my unperforated heart, lungs, brain, liver, kidneys, pancreas, small intestine and large intestine you fucking idiot. you incompetent fool.
having friends is important because otherwise you’ll stay convinced your parents are normal
simply dont monday
Quick vampire tip:
"Look into my eyes": nobody says that. If they're a hunter they immediately know you're a vampire and that you're trying to hypnotize them.
"My eyes are up here": excellent. Actually gets people, frequently even hunters, to look into your eyes long enough for you to enthrall them. Powered by shame.
Maid cleaning a massive chateau surely belonging to the richest people you’ve ever seen, and as she’s walking from room to room you notice that every single portrait is of her
You specifically understand
HOLY MOTHER OF FUCKKK MY COCK MY COCK MY COCK I JUST WHACKED MY MEAT SO HARD I PASSED OUT FOR 5 MINUTES
https://www.tumblr.com/alexturntable/782554436891508737?source=share
Hello max verstappen welcome to my humble inbox
