an icicle, but covered in gold

Don't mind me, mostly just lurking around. Currently interacting mostly with Cosmere content, although I also enjoy content about Fromsoft games, ATLA/TLOK, and Hollow Knight, as well as assorted shitposts and political posts. also, fuck terfs. 35yo/cishet male

[cosmerelists]

How Cosmere Characters Would Come Out

As requested by @im-bad-at-names-okay :)

Happy Pride Month! If Cosmere characters wanted to "come out," here is how they would do so.

1. Renarin: A series of unsigned letters

Lore drop: I came out via a letter to my parents when I was in high school.

Dalinar: The first note said, "Someone is gay." Dalinar: The second note said, "Someone you know." Dalinar: The third note said, "Someone in your family." Dalinar: The fourth note said, "One of your sons." Dalinar: ... Dalinar: I think I can predict what the fifth note will say.

2. Adolin: Tells people face-to-face

He just figures that telling people in person is the right thing to do.

Adolin: ...So anyway, I like men as well as women. May: Yes. I am aware. Adolin: Y-You are?? Did someone tell you?? May: You stare at a lot of butts. Adolin: ... Adolin: Yeah, okay, that makes sense.

3. Kaladin: The most dramatic moment possible

Think about every time Kaladin let someone know he was Radiant. Now apply that logic to Kaladin coming out.

Kaladin: [Glowing with stormlight, descending slowly from the sky] Kaladin: Romance. Sex. Gender. None of it--none of it--is compulsory, and none of it is for me! Lirin: You literally could have told us this normally at dinner last night. Hesina (elbowing him): Shhhh!

4. Wayne: Casually, conversationally

Wayne drops the lore as if it's no big deal, although he is admittedly a bit anxious the first time (when he tells Wax).

Wax: Listen, Wayne, if you want to be a good man... Wayne: Actually, I'm a girl today. Wax: [processing very quickly] Just today? Wayne: Well, we'll see, I guess. Sometimes it's just for a day. Sometimes it's a girl week. Wax: Noted. Wax: Listen, Wayne, if you want to be a good woman...

5. Rlain: Matter-of-factly

Rlain knows he has to make humans accept him as a person. Sometimes he tells them that he plays cards. Sometimes he tells them that he is gay.

Rlain: I'm Rlain. And this is my boyfriend, Renarin. The Alethi guy who was just talking shit about Singers: Uh... Rlain: Now you know something else about me. Rlain: Namely, I can pull.

6. Shallan: Eventually and with difficulty

Look, Shallan does not like to reveal lore about herself. Sometimes it takes being trapped in a cave in a high storm. Sometimes she makes her alters do it. It's a process.

Shallan (currently huddled with Kaladin in the little nook while the high storm rages outside) Shallan: ....A-And also, I think I have a crush on Jasnah! Shallan: Does that mean I like women??? Kaladin: Even worse, you might have bad taste in women! Shallan: What Kaladin: I shouldn't say my first thought.

7. Sazed: Makes Wax do it

This is always the Sazed-Harmony strategy.

Sazed: [communicating with Wax via his earring] Please tell everyone that my pronouns are now "they/them" so if they could stop using "he" for me, I'd appreciate it. Sazed: I know that there are other things going on, but it has been annoying me for hundreds of years now. Wax: ...You sent a kandra to command me to put in my earring for this...? Couldn't the kandra just do it...? Sazed: You try explaining pronouns to a kandra!

8. Vivenna: Just kinda assumed people knew

The short hair and the sword aren't enough??

Beard: Captain, we've been talking... Beard: And we've come up with a list of just three guys in all of Kholinar who we think MIGHT be worthy of going on a date with you! Vivenna: ...Try again, but with women. Beard: .... Beard: Oh! Vivenna (to herself): How much more obvious could I make it?

9. Jasnah: Writes a truly groundbreaking treatise

Jasnah is not going to bother coming out if it's not also scholarship.

Ethid: Your treatise on asexuality will truly have a lasting effect on scholarship. Jochi: I predict that the undertext referring to your own experiences will promote much speculation in future generations. Jasnah: Thank you, both. Jasnah: ...Glad that relationship was worth something.

10. Nikaro: Tells no one until they all figure it out for themselves

Nikaro can't shake the fear that everyone will leave if they know the truth, groundless as that fear may be.

Akane: Last week you had a boyfriend. Yumi: Correct. Akane: Today you have a girlfriend. Yumi: I do. Akane: Your girlfriend looks quite a bit like my old friend, Nikaro. Yumi: Fancy that. Akane: ... Akane: Congrats on the gender, Painter! Painter: ...It's that easy?

11. Dalinar: Unintentional lore drop

Dalinar is one of Those dads.

Dalinar: [comforting an adolescent Adolin] Dalinar: Adolin, do not be troubled by your crush on Jakamav. Dalinar: Every man has crushes on his male friends. Dalinar: It is very normal. .... Adolin (eight years later): WAIT A STORMING MINUTE

[gildedicicle]

Have you ever heard of the Voyager Golden Record? Yes? No?

Regardless, listen to this

File:The Voyager Interstellar Record - 131 Greetings From The Secretary General Of The UN Kurt Waldh (1).ogg - Wikipedia

And then tell me that the latter half of this recording is not the sickest shit you've ever heard

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters' Favorite Word

As requested by anon. :)

It's so mysterious that all of their favorite words appear to be English words... Well, best not think too hard about it.

1. Taravangian

Taravangian: My favorite word is "hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia," meaning "the fear of long words." Taravangian: Such a beautiful representation of how fear is contained merely within the thing itself. Adrotagia: ...I've known you long enough to know that that's always been your favorite word, and that your reason has always been "because it's funny." Taravangian: Lol, yeah. Taravangian: Whoever invented that word was such a jerk.

2. Siri

Siri: I've always liked "kerfuffle." Siri: I know it means "disturbance." Siri: But it sounds like such a nice word. "Kerfuffle." Like it's fluffy trouble.  Susebron: Imagine if we had a pet cat... And its name was Kerfluffle... Siri: Brilliant! 

3. Design

Design: My favorite word is "one-hundred-thousand-eight-hundred-and-fifty-three." Design: Not only is it prime, but it also happens to be the exact number of hair follicles on my head! Nikaro (cautiously): Isn't that a...number? Design: In word form, yeah!

4. Lift

Lift: Callipygian. :) Wyndle: ... Lift: :) Wyndle: .... Lift: It :) means :) having :) a :) beautiful :) butt. :) Wyndle: ... Lift: :)

5. Tress

Tress: I can never decide between "wanderlust" and "nostalgia"! Tress: They are both such pretty words! Charlie: And so thematic. Tress: How so?

6. Pattern

Pattern: Mmmm.... I like "petrichor:" the smell of stone after rain! Pattern: A word that's all hard edges and firm stops, exactly like a smell isn't! Pattern: Mmmm....a delicious verbal lie!

7. Nale

Nale: I am sure that everyone expects my favorite word to be "law" or some such thing. Nale: But no. Nale: My favorite word is "facetious." Nale: All of the vowels are in order. Nale: And that is neat. Szeth: ... Nale: I have layers.

8. Steris

Steris: I have a least favorite word, actually. Steris: Palindrome. Steris: How could they make a word that means "the same forwards and backwards" and have it NOT be a palindrome itself?? Steris: That's why I prefer my own word that means "the same backwards and forwards:" palinilap. Steris: Palinilap. Steris: Rolls right off the tongue.

9. Sarene

Sarene: I'll have to go with the word "no." Sarene: Because the ability to set boundaries and be your own person? Sarene: That's surely the most important thing.

10. Jasnah

Jasnah: Palimpsest. Jasnah: I appreciate the literal meaning--a document where the original words have been scraped off and new words written over them, but where the original writings may still be faintly detected. Jasnah: And the philosophical one--something whose full truth can only be determined by working your way down through the many layers.

11. Hoid

Hoid: My favorite word is "plethora." Hoid: It just...means a lot to me. Jasnah: Divorce. Hoid: W-We're not even married!!

12. Kaladin

Kaladin: I know everyone is showing off here. Kaladin: But you can't go wrong with "storm." Kaladin: It's so versatile! Kaladin: It's the best weather... It's a swear word... It's a verb... A noun... Hoid: ...Kaladin's favorite word is "fuck"? Kaladin: THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID

[cypress-punk]

Szeth "Why are you White?" Son-Son-Volano is maybe the funniest guy in fantasy fiction. Only white guy anyone has ever seen. Kills a lot of people. So Lawful-Neutral he ruins the vibe for the faction of magical knights defined by being Lawful-Neutral, tries to go back to weird white person land to fix whatever is going on down there and who goes with him? A guy trying to invent psychiatry from first principles using Szeth as his test case.

[gildedicicle]

Man, I *love* "Warrior Thoughts". I've gotten some serious mileage out of that phrase. It might be the only phrase in Stormlight that can rival "The most important step is the next one" and "You will be warm again" for the pure mental aid it provides me.

[stormingfemboy]

Shallan would hate AI btw

[cosmerelists]

Will you survive, if the following Cosmere characters are coming to save you?

As requested by @karlathewitch :)

[THIS POST CONTAINS WAT SPOILERS!]

Oh no! You've been kidnapped! But don't worry--the following Cosmere characters are on their way to save you, and I've calculated your exact survival odds. I'm sure that'll make you feel better...

1. Tress: 100% Survival Odds

Oh man, are you ever lucky! Not only is Tress great at rescuing people--whether emotionally or physically--but she's also in the sort of story where protagonists don't die! Just sit back, relax, and wait for the Power of Friendship to save you.

2. Vin: 95% Survival Odds

Vin is coming to save you? You're (basically) golden! She can leap tall buildings in a single bound, cut down whole armies with her giant sword, and hates to fail people! Now, if for some reason she had to make the choice of whether to save you and doom the world or let you die to save it, then she's going to let you die. But what are the odds of that, right??

3. Skar: 80% Survival Odds

You can rest (somewhat) easily if Skar is coming to save you. This guy managed to rescue baby Gavinor from the Siege of Kholinar, which is more than the major protagonists accomplished! Plus, he's based on a real-life friend of Sanderson's, so you know that Sanderson doesn't want to make him look bad. HOWEVER, keep in mind that if it would be especially tragic for you to die--perhaps if you are a beloved Bridge 4 member and Moash is coming for you--then not even Skar can save you from the narratological tragedy coming for you.

4. Silence: 73% Survival Odds

You're pretty lucky if Silence is coming to save you. She is tough and skilled and good at finding people. And she will be willing and able to kill people trying to stop her. But also...Silence is a Threnodite. And that means her story is gritty and bloody and full of dead people. You have no real genre armor here. Except for the fact that if you die, you won't really die. You'll be a miserable Shade forever. Don't worry about how much of this survival percentage includes the half-life of a Shade. Don't worry about it.

5. Wax: 66% Survival Odds

Oof, listen, it really depends. Your odds aren't bad here. Wax is good at fighting. He's a lawman, so if you were kidnapped, he'd definitely want to do something about that. On the other hand, if there's any chance that your death might make him sad, especially if you are a woman he cares about, then your odds are much, much lower. But don't worry--he will feel sad if you are gunned down during the rescue attempt. And that's a comforting thought, right?

6. Vivenna: 50% Survival Odds

It's all about where we are in her story, man. Is this early Vivenna who still needs to learn about life? Oof. You're dead in that basement. Is it late Vivenna, who has had a glow up and started going by Azure? You are going to be totally fine. So between the two of them, your odds sit at 50%, I'd say.

7. Nightblood: 40% Survival Odds

Look at me. Look at me. Are you evil? Do you desire the evil power of a cool definitely-not-evil sword? Because if Nightblood is tossed into the lair in which you are being held, you could be okay... if everyone in there is evil except for you, so that they all get eaten by Nightblood but you don't. On the other hand, and I say this with love, Nightblood does have a tendency to eat his friends too. So you really need to have every aspect of this scenario happen in your favor for a Nightblood rescue to work out. It might be okay. It might be. I'll give you nearly even odds.

8. Dusk: 33% Survival Odds

Listen, Dusk himself? Highly skilled. Highly competent. If he actually wants to rescue you, he has the skills (and the death-predicting bird) to make it there. But if Dusk is coming for you, then you're presumably on Patji. And your odds of surviving there are pretty darn low. Dusk is raising the odds! But even he can only raise them so much...

9. Lightsong: 10% Survival Odds

Listen, Lightsong was pretty much in the business of not saving people for most of his novel (in his defense, saving people meant dying himself, which is a pretty high price when you have crowds of people asking for that every day). So it just depends. Are you one of the many, many people whom Lightsong won't save today? Or are you the glorious, shining example of Lightsong's character development, and the one he will actually fight to save?

I'm not to lie to you. It's not looking good.

10. Kaladin: 5% Survival Odds

Listen, you have a chance here. Kaladin is highly competent, cares deeply about saving people, and will do everything--and I mean EVERYTHING--to save you.

Unfortunately, there is literally nothing Sanderson loves more than killing people Kaladin wants to save. Goodbye, friend--we'll miss you.

[gildedicicle]

Now, I know, with almost ironclad certainty, that Retribution's God Metal is going to be called "Taravangium", because that both sounds good and makes sense, given what we know of other God Metals and their naming conventions. But I truly hope that Brando will call it "Taravangianium" simply because it would be hilarious.

[natavinsmoke06]

Adolin "shardshitter" Kholin

[cosmereplay]

Adolin's the only one who's admitted to it, but I have to believe that Dalinar's done it so many times. Especially during the Blackthorn days when he was out there for hours and hours clearing out entire armies of defenders, the Thrill wouldn't let him rotate out to use the bathroom. And then of course now that he's 50 sometimes he can't tell a fart from a shit as easily. No wonder he gave his Shardplate away.

[haaaaaaaaaaaave-you-met-ted]

Mistborn Handbook - Steris by Anna Podedworna

[pinkplasma6083]

Do yall think nightblood could take up the shard of ruin?

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters in the Winter Olympics

As requested by anon. :)

I-I know I missed both the Winter Games and the Paralympic games, but it's still the year of the Winter Olympics! Anyway, please imagine that you're watching the Olympics, only Cosmere characters are there.

1. Snowboarding

Announcer #1: Next up we have a definite threat for gold: Vin Venture! Announcer #2: Otherwise known as the Ascendant Boarder. Announcer #1: Known for HUGE air, risky tricks, and incredible speed. Announcer #2: Fun fact about Vin--outside of the Olympics, she is also an excellent ice skater! You'd never guess it from seeing her on the slopes, but she is truly an elegant and graceful ice dancer as well. Announcer #1: Future multi-event gold medalist, do we think? Announcer #2: I mean, if anyone can do it, it's her!

2. Hockey

Announcer #1: The players frequently credit Captain Leshwi as the reason for their solid cohesion & teamwork. Announcer #2: Yes, she-- Wait, what's this? Leshwi's team should be taking advantage of their Power Play here, but instead, they appear to be letting their extra player...just stand in the corner and do nothing? Announcer #1: Captain Leshwi is on record saying that she will always refuse a Power Play, since "Maintaining the one-on-one battle framework is the key to her war ethos." Announcer #2 Uh..."battle"? "War"? Announcer #1: That's just how hockey players are.

3. Pairs Skating

Announcer #1: Now, the Singers have long dominated in the discipline of Pairs Skating. Announcer #2: It is the most dangerous of the figure skating disciplines--what with all of the throws. Announcer #1: Well, the Singers grew this discipline out of their old war pairs, so facing danger and being in sync is no issue for them! Announcer #2: In fact, that cultural background has inspired the title of this next piece, "The Alethi are Murderous Invaders!" Announcer #1: ...Are they allowed to call it that?

4. Biathlon

Announcer #1: Ah, here comes one of the Games' biggest underdog success stories: Ann No-Last-Name! Announcer #2: Yes! She has tried out for her country's Olympic Biathlon Team ever year for the past 12 years, but never made it--on account of being very, very bad at shooting. Announcer #1: But then she got glasses. Announcer #2: But then she got glasses.

5. Figure Skating: Men's Singles

Announcer #1: You know, Elhokar's dad was a three-time hockey gold medalist. Announcer #2 Yes! Gavilar Kholin was truly a dominant figure in hockey back in the day--always accompanied by his brother and Elhokar's uncle, Dalinar the Enforcer! Announcer #1: But Elhokar was never...successful at hockey. Announcer #2: So we are all very glad that he switched to figure skating! And here he is now--self-procliamed King of the Ice--Elhokar Kholin!

6. Giant Slalom

Announcer #1: Kaladin Stormblessed is FLYING down the slopes! Announcer #2: You are watching a true master of the sport here--no one comes around the gates so closely, so precisely. Announcer #1: Kaladin attributes his success to "dodging lots and lots of arrows back in the day." Announcer #2: What? Announcer #1: [shrugs]

7. Monobob

Announcer #1: Now, everyone loves a bobsled team from a hot country, of course. Announcer #2: Of course! Announcer #1: And our next slider, Kenton, does come from a world with no snow--just sand, sand everywhere! Announcer #2: Apparently he practiced by sliding down sand! Announcer #1: Kenton long tried out for his country's bobsled team, but never made it on--eventually, he decided that if his team wouldn't accept him, he'd get his own sled and be successful his own way. Announcer #2: Hence monbob? Announcer #1: Hence monobob.

8. Skeleton

Announcer #1: ...And if there is one thing Kelsier is known for, it's showing no fear! Sliding headfirst down the ice? Surviving that terrible crash last year? Announcer #2: You'd never know it... Just look at that huge smile on his face as he prepares for his fourth run!

9. Curling

Announcer #1: Our oldest competitor in these games by a long, LONG way, Taravangian may seem like an affable grandfather, but he is RUTHLESS when it comes to his curling strategy. Announcer #2: It's true--the way that man places his stones... his ability to guess what the other team intends... he is a man to be feared in the sport of curling. Truly ruthless. Announcer #1: Yet off the ice--he's known as a kindly old man who mostly spends time working at his charities. Announcer #2: Ah, the duality of man.

10. Speed Skating

Announcer #1: Szeth-son-son-Vallano sure came out of NOWHERE in this sport! Announcer #2: It's true--and now he is an icon: So fast, so fearless, and known for sending his opponents tumbling--without ever touching them, of course! Announcer #1: ....Uh, is the crowd chanting "Go white boy, go"? Announcer #2: They do that.

[sistersorrow]

Hybrid Shard of Odium and Preservation that turns its vessel into a stereotypical raging conservative

[elsecaller-alora-sedai]

Thinking about Cultivation and Lift and shard vessels and came up with a separate crack theory:

Jasnah’s gonna become a shard vessel.

I am literally just going on vibes here but I could see it happen. Idk which shard (Valor could be fun) but it’s not my craziest crack theory. Jasnah is tied to other shard vessels and worldhoppers, she’s spent her life studying heretical things related to cosmic history, and she knows about the cosmere. I can’t be the only one who thinks this

[jennydolfen]

The skies are mine

I think this is my favourite Kaladin I've ever painted. 🩵🩵🩵 Look at my boy! And his fairy girl!

Also, I sort of accidentally made a gouache brush set in Procreate, lol. And one of my favourite ever paper overlays. Coming to an iPad near you soon!

Check out my Commissions Etsy Procreate brushes Patreon Inprnt

[gildedicicle]

Does anyone else think that the reason Hoid chooses to be so directly involved with the whole Rosharan affair, is that he specifically refused to take up the Shard of Odium, and therefore leaving it to be taken by Rayse, a man he despised, ignorant or uncaring of the consequences? The letter from Endowment in the Oathbringer epigraphs seems to imply (well, directly state, but who's to say how trustworty a source she is) that he didn't just choose to sit out on deification, but instead actively refused it.

Our poor jester might act so directly against Odium out of guilt over what Rayse did to Aona, Skai, Uli Da and eventually, Tanavast, thinking he could have prevented it if he had only taken it up himself.

[cosmerelists]

How Cosmere Characters Say "I Love You" Without Saying It

As requested by @naeurisblog :)

Hope you're all read for some sincerity and sappiness! Also, just for the record, not all "I love you"s are romantic.

1. Vin: Is able to relax around you

2. Elend: Reads your favorite book (even if it's not really his thing)

3. Elhokar: Buys you things

4. Dalinar: Fully leaves the room when you enter

5. (Also) Dalinar: Trusts you to do the right thing

6. (Also) Dalinar: Asks you to rest

7. Tress: Listens to what is wrong and tries to fix it

8. Charlie: Chooses you

9. Lift: Remembers you

10. Steris: Makes her own list of your likes and dislikes

11. Adolin: Is fully "ride or die"

12. Shallan: Allows you to reach Level Five in the Trauma Narrative

13. Kaladin: A rare smile

14. Yumi: "Borrows" your clothes

15. Lirin: Demands better of you

16. Rebeke: Shares her warmth

17. Hmask: Is always right behind you. In a, uh, non-creepy way.

18. Allik: Bakes for you

19. (Also) Allik: Endures for you

20. Wayne: Is ready to kill for you

21. Silence: Kills for you

22. Hrathen: Dies for you

23. Blushweaver: Lets you in

24. Sebarial: Asks you to stay

25. Paloma: Stays