Mostly Text Posts, somtimes funny

[duskodair]

relistening to Taz and I'm really enjoying listening to each arc and relating it to the relevant bird.

like yeah here there be gerblins is about lup it's about you should have thought about that before throwing my dog in the fire, it's about falling in love with Barry Bluejeans, it's about trying to save so many people but failing, it's desperate odds and flying away from a disaster you couldn't avert, it's about being bitten in the back by an earlier decision to trust someone.

murder on the Rockport Limited is about Dav. It's about seeing the truth behind the illusion. it's about a town of people all with the same face. it's about losing the driver and trying to save the vehicle without him. it's about the youngest member of the crew holding a book that catches the truth and stops it reaching its destination. it's about beheading and loss of identity. It's about remembering to get your roommate pringles

petals to the metal is about Merle. It's about don't be chopping on these sweet sweet babies. it's about reaching out to someone you love who has been consumed by a power they can't fully control. it's about dying in the hope they can be saved. it's about racing as fast as you can, with all that you have, in the hope that something can be saved in the end.

crystal kingdom is about taako. it's about loving someone you've lost so much you'd turn the world to crystal to try and save them. it's about Kravitz. its about learning more from thousands of realities to make new and wonderful things. its about walking through your legacy. its about the best sandwich and taako's good out here. its about seven birds being seen, its about the thousands of lives that Boyland touched

the eleventh hour is about Magnus. It's about rustic hospitality. it's about recklessly breaking reality trying to protect people you love. it's about fate and choices you make in life. it is being a small town hero. it is making promises and keeping them. it's about the downfall of a corrupt leader and the people he took down on his way. it's about fallen temples and burnt out buildings. it's about embracing the inevitable and holding the hand of the clock that strikes your doom as the weapon that will save you

the suffering game is about Barry. It's about looping through endless pain again and again in the hopes of reaching a dream. it's about liches and death and love. it's about losing your body and being saved from permanent death by the power of your friends' love. it's about working out how things are working and then pulling them apart to understand them. it's about choosing to lose everything in the hopes that it might let you save something. arms outstretched. trust Barry, love Barry

the stolen century is about Lucretia. it's one hundred years of journals. It's learning world after world and watching them die. It's working to protect those you love by saving the light. It's about running away again and again, and loving only in goodbyes. it's about being alone and dying again and again. It's about bonds growing stronger even as something comes relentlessly to consume them

story and song is about the starblaster flying into, not away from the storm. it's about hear that babe, we're legends. it's about bringing together all the arcs and all the relics into one hope to undo mistakes. it's about the magic in a bardsong. it's about the light of creation being used as a barrier against darkness.

[alaspoorestyorick]

Thinking about how, in The Suffering Game, Taako sacrifices his "beauty" (whatever that means to him personally) and has his appearance permanently changed and how, on top of this being about his vanity, his appearance is unknowingly one of the only remnants/remainders of his sister he has? Like, they're identical twins, and the concept that his appearance is one of the only remnants of Lup left in the world after she was removed from everyone's memory is so interesting and sad to me. The idea that Taako unknowingly gave away one of his last links to Lup that he didn't even know he had, and feeling some sort of deep loss about it that he literally, physically cannot describe or think too hard about...and sure, he can magic his appearance back to an extent, but he has fundamentally lost such a big part of not only himself, but of the most important person in his life, and he doesn't even know.

[gingershambles]

In the past, on many occasions out of the corner of your eye, in the plane of a nearby window perhaps, or an especially shiny plate, you catch a glims of it. It feels like joy and the comfort of home and recognition and before it can sour, never lasting long enough for the taste of grief and loss to reach you, recognition hits and your reflection grins back at you, the joy must be pride, and the comfort is mearly confidence. and the recognition is you killing it once again in the outfit department.

You've spent hours since the suffering game staring at your reflection, tweeking the illusion you wear every waking moment, but despite knowing all the features that make taako taako, you don't get that feeling you called pride anymore when you catch your reflection.

Your confidence in your appearance is still intact but maybe it's the knowledge that it's an illusion that robs you of that moment of joy, replacing it with somthing that almost sticks around long enough in your static filled brain to be loneliness.

It seems the sacrifice you thought would cost you nothing has cost you something.

You just can't remember what it is.

[fritterlitter]

Love that apothecary diaries is the sort of show with so many well written women that maomao has several deep emotional connections with women (bonds of womanhood), deep emotional connections with women (friendship), and deep emotional connections with women (kind of gay)

[fastest-punslinger-in-the-west]

A new study finds that Apple has some of the highest employee turnover rates of any tech company. Google "apple turnover" for more information.

[april]

[romanimp]

younger people don't get it. The first time I took a flight by myself I was 4 years old. I remember my mum buckling me into the seat herself and then introducing me to the flight attendant who would be taking care of me. When the flight was over, the flight attendant took me by the hand and walked me off the plane and my auntie was at the gate waiting to pick me up. This was normal. This was a normal way to travel domestically.

[gingershambles]

When I was 5 my parents told me I was going to be flying by myself to stay with my grandparents for the summer. I agreed and weeks later on the way to the airport they could tell I was nervous and asked what was wrong.

I looked up at my dad and said "I'm not sure if I can land the plane"

Apparently 5 year old me was entirely confident in my ability to take off and fly across multiple provinces but didn't know if she could stick the landing.

[captoring]

Can you explain to me the dfab, fmab and any others I have missed. I have been seeing them around later but do not understand their meanings. Thank you

dfab means designated female at birth. fmab means Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood

[offonaherosjourney]

Me as a kid: wow I love Kim Possible, what an awesome cartoon. I mean... it's a bit unrealistic that she somehow has time for high school, cheer leading, other extracurriculars, and a social life... despite her side gig saving the world... but otherwise no complaints, 10/10.

Me as an adult: PRO BONO? PRO FUCKING BONO, KIM??? Kid, please, you need to start charging some of those millionaire CEOs that keep hiring you to save their companies. It's wild that you had to get a job at Bueno Nacho to be able to buy a jacket you liked when half of the world's governments subcontract you once a week. Bill their asses, PLEASE

[questionable-method]

sometimes pre-ts zoro is just so very Nineteen that it makes me emotional. he's reckless. he's vulnerable. he's never worried about wrecking his body because he's young and strong and he can bounce back. (or maybe it's that he's kind of suicidal.) he's lonely. he laughs at stupid things. he acts older than his friends who are barely younger than him. he completely overestimates his skill level. his guiding philosophy is "fuck it we ball." his sleep schedule is just whatever happens. he has not been held in a long time. he can barely contain the love he feels. he is so so awkward about showing it. he's sure of what he wants. he thinks he's much closer to it than he is. he really really needs a damn hug.

[questionable-method]

A lot of ppl are reblogging this saying they miss the pre timeskip characterization and he doesn't feel like him anymore he's not silly anymore etc. and what they're noticing is true but I'm not sure it's a writing flaw like everyone seems to think. I think actually Zoro's post timeskip behavior is a very realistic trauma response.

For one bright, shining moment in Zoro's life he wasn't alone. He was surrounded by family and love and laughter. And then he couldn't protect them. Even after wrecking his body in every possible way it wasn't enough. He lost them. Luffy, the man to whom he swore he'd never lose again, nearly died and Zoro wasn't there to help, because he did lose. Helplessly, brutally.

Then he spent the next two years doing nothing but fight and train and wonder if his friends were okay, aware even when he returned that he's still not the strongest fighter out there. That he still might fail and lose them all again if he's not careful. He had basically no social development at all during that time with only Mihawk and Perona to keep him company, both of whom are awkward loners themselves, really. All he had to occupy his mind with was grief, shame, and determination to be stronger.

So yeah he acts tough and stoic and he doesn't laugh as much anymore or goof off in the middle of fights because now he knows the cost. He knows what could be taken from him at any time. He is not going to let his guard down. If keeping his family safe and together means he doesn't get to feel as carefree anymore, he'll choose that in an instant. He will always choose the option where he takes on a burden and carries it as well as he can so that no one else has to.

In short, he's terrified. This is how Zoro acts when he's afraid and refusing to show it. And I don't think his characterization will stay this way forever. I think sooner or later he's going to break.

[happier-liam]

"This is my captain"

"Relax bro aint nobody takin him from u"

this got me dying ngl (anyways i drew more chimera zoro agadhgf)

[gingershambles]

I thought he was one of those shitty ice creams with the gumball eyes you get at the ice cream truck and Zoro was "like look captain"

[phantomrose96]

Okay I have a story.

So my birthday is this Sunday (May 26th). My mom ordered some presents for me but one of them (an Etsy purchase) was seemingly stuck in transit and might not make it on time. I tell my mom all good, no worries. She gets in contact with the seller. After a long delay in response they get back with "Right we'll fix it!" It ships, tracking label and everything, good to go! ETA May 22nd (yesterday.)

During the work day I check the tracking and it says it's been delivered in/at mailbox! I double check with my mom "hey, is it mailbox size?" because if not, I don't want it sitting at the front door where anyone walking by could snag it.

She says "it's definitely NOT mailbox size." Okay. I text my neighbors in the building "Anyone seen a package delivered? It's a birthday gift from my mom and I wanna make sure it gets inside!" Success! Floor 2 David (not to be confused with Floor 1 David) had brought it inside. Inform my mom. All good!

I stop by home briefly around 4pm, because yesterday was hot-hot and I just installed my window A/C that morning in the living room, and according to my cat cam my stupid cat hasn't spent a single second in the climate controlled living room and is, instead, voluntarily baking herself elsewhere so I'm like "great" and hop on my bike to go home (10 minute ride) to check on her.

I get in the building door. Patches is crying from the top floor because she heard me. I maneuver my bike in the front hall. The ugliest fucking 6-foot-tall cat tree(?)/totem(?)/statue(?) I've seen in my entire life is just. Standing there.

My first thought is "What the fuck is that." My second thought is "Oh fuck that is for me." I look around at the floor in case there's perhaps anything else that might, in fact, be the gift.

No. Me and Cat Pole.

It's taller than me. I turn it around to face me and its face is painted and this is, in fact, uglier than it looked from the back.

Um.

Patches is crying. So I just haul it up to my level. MAYBE it was supposed to come with twine that I wrap around it (and hide its face from the world) for Patches to scratch. Maybe this is a prank. Maybe this is an inside joke, because when my mom moved into her current house the neighborhood gifted her some ugly-as-hell totem that apparently, by tradition, each newest-comer to the neighborhood is required to have and display in their window so maybe this is a very good riff on that.

Patches rubs against it. She's not afraid of this horrid facsimile of her kind.

Great.

Meanwhile SHE'S fine and the condo is a little toasty but totally liveable so I'm like "Good, cool, you're not baking. You're having a good time. Enjoy your new sister, I guess, I'll see you later."

I go back to work because this is a problem for later me.

After work, after my run, after whatever, I get home and it's like 8:00pm and Patches is so happy to see me and the totem pole is still just. There.

I text my friends like "so a bday gift is here from my mom and it's the Biggest Ugliest cat pole I've seen in my life. Is this a bit? Did my mom go 'that's so ugly haha! send!' Maybe she genuinely found it cute. How do I navigate this." My friend Sarah has the good advice to maybe text my mom neutrally like "Got the cat pole!" and feel the waters whether my mom is like "Isn't it ugly? 😂" or "Hope Patches likes it! 🥰"

My mom goes to bed early so I don't do any of that yet. Problem for tomorrow me.

This morning, Patches wakes me up for breakfast. I get her situated and I'm staring at the fucking Cat Pole again. I wonder if my Mom's been wondering all night what I thought of it.

I take a picture. I text her.

Okay.

I get on call with my mom. I ask for clarity that the ungodly horrid thing is NOT my birthday gift and is in fact a mix-up from the seller who sent me this instead of my actual gift. She's wheezing between words. She thinks I'm being too charitable for the amount of Absolute Fucking Ugly this is. I have to gently talk her out of using the word "monstrosity" while messaging the seller asking what the hell happened here.

I tell her I need to apologize for harming her dignity with Floor 2 David, who thinks this fucking thing is my mom's idea of a great birthday gift for her to-be-28-year-old daughter.

My heart goes out to the poor soul who did actually order this cat totem and is lacking it on this lovely day.

[phantomrose96]

Update.

I receive a call from my mother in the middle of the day while I'm at work. I can't answer but I tell her I can call her back.

She texts me instead. Was there any return information on the cat pole? The Etsy seller responded and said he's never seen this thing in his life.

Okay.

There is in fact no return information, which I know for a fact because I scrutinized this thing up and down for any kind of "Happy birthday Chrissy!" note or "I promise this is a joke love Mom" that could have cued me in to what farce I was forcibly ensnarled in.

No information. No return address. Not from the Etsy seller, who I'd mentally profiled as some artisan of the ugliest hand-crafted cat paraphernalia possible and turns out, is some kind of t-shirt maker.

So if this is NOT from the Etsy seller and is NOT the missent present from my mom then I am left grappling with the reopened mystery of "Who the FUCK sent me this cat pole for my birthday." This comes with the spine-chilling possibility that this was an earnest, well-meaning, kind-hearted act of one of my friends who I may have already told about "my mom's butt-fucking-ugly-ass cat-pole gift."

Question also remains unanswered of "Where is my gift from mom."

Mom asks if Floor 2 David saw the mailman. Makes the point that the USPS would not deliver an unwrapped package, which makes sense and which I had not fully considered in the moment due to being poisoned with cat pole emotions. This answers even fewer things.

I make a net-zero of unanswered questions in the moment by reconsidering a different package which I did receive, and had thought was a later delivery from a friend, which I had not even considered could have been the Etsy gift from Mom because I really cannot overstate how much seeing the cat totem IRL resulted in a hostile takeover of 95% of my brain capacity. So that DIFFERENT package perhaps IS my mom's gift to me and leaves the cat pole... entirely unaddressed.

I need to text my neighbors about the false feline idol. I further poison my text history with the following.

And I receive a quick response.

My mom has apologized to the Etsy seller for cat-totem-pole related accusations.

Cat totem pole has been returned to the front hall to begin her new life as an ongoing source of strife between Molly's mother and Molly's father, I guess.

Here she is in all her glory.

God fucking bless

[asimovsideburns]

Sherlock Holmes modern adaptation but the main characters (Sherlock, Watson, Mrs. Hudson, Irene Adler, and maybe even Lestrade) are all vampires and they’ve just been doing their thing since the time period of the original books

Irene gets to be from New Jersey like she is in canon and she’ll occasionally show up and help Sherlock with a case but they don’t ever date or hook up or anything

[asimovsideburns]

OR… Lestrade isn’t a vampire, but there’s been generations of Lestrades, and they all have to deal with this guy

[asimovsideburns]

the latest one isn’t even a cop she works nights at the 7-11 and Sherlock keeps coming in at 2am to slam two gallons of Monster Energy and ask her what what the fuck an “amogus” is (it’s case related) and tell her how much better she is at lateral thinking than her tragically straightforward ancestor and also is her girlfriend still going to school to be a defense attorney, how’s she handling the workload

[anais-ninja-bitch]

okay, but who turned them and when? bc there is a lot of delicious angst and goofiness to be exlored if say:

irene has kids before being turned and is invested in her descendants

john was already with mary and has to see her age and pass

mrs. hudson is the vampire queen

the lestrades are like. the opposite of the vanhelsings. generational disinterest in vampires, but the holmes enclave keeps roping them back in.

[asimovsideburns]

1) Irene adopts and yes she is The Cool Grandma for generations of children forevermore

2) Mary is also a vampire, she got turned at the same time as John, she and Sherlock have Wine Wednesdays every third Saturday of the month

3) Mrs. Hudson is immortal but she’s not a vampire and nobody can figure out what her deal is

4) absolutely 100% correct

whenever anybody asks how they got turned the response is something along the lines of “that was like. Over five years ago. How do you expect me to even remember that.” or “idk man I just woke up like this” or “got bitten by a mosquito on a case” and it’s never the same twice

[asimovsideburns]

Yes the Sherlock Holmes books exist and whenever they’re brought up Watson gets very upset that this dude stole his writing and considers him his archnemesis despite the fact that Doyle is a totally normal human and dead as hell

[anais-ninja-bitch]

imagine Watson’s frothing rage at the Doyle estate insisting Holmes can never be shown having emotions. like he didn’t personally watch Sherlock weep during the moon landing.

[asimovsideburns]

Holmes and Watson are embroiled in a legal battle against the Doyle estate and have been for almost 100 angry, angry years

this is only ever mentioned in passing for comedic effect

[iamthedukeofurl]

Okay, but consider The Problem (Aka Sherlock Holmes) doesn’t hit ALL The Lestrades, only those that Holmes can rightfully refer to as “Inspector Lestrade”.  Obviously, police inspectors and detectives are affected by The Problem (as family lore refers to Holmes) but, like, subsequent generations have learned how loose the definition is.  Our latest Lestrade, let’s call her Billie, gets called up by her boss one day, and her boss is like “hey, Corporate says somebody at the store needs to know about health regulations and stuff. If you take a couple night classes and get this certification, we’ll give you a bonus on your next paycheck, and one of your jobs will be to sign off that we don’t have mold everywhere”. And Billie is like “Sure, sound good, whatever” and goes to the night classes and takes the test at the end and the tired bureaucrat who runs the course is like “Okay, congratulations, you’re now a Certified Health And Hygiene Inspector (Class D-Small Retail Food Storage and Service)”  And Billie just freezes and is like “Ummmm, is it possible to get something different? Maybe I can be a Health and Hygine Expert? And the bureaucrat is like “No, you passed the test, you’re now a Certified Health and Hygiene Inspector (Class D- Small Retail Food Storage and Service)”   And Billie is just SWEATING as she leaves the building, because she knows about The Problem, but maybe this wouldn’t count? Like, it’s not like she works for the government or anything. It’s just a dumb piece of paper that says she’s allowed to fill out other dumb pieces of paper. That can’t count. It’s not like her JOB changed or anything.  But, as soon as she steps out into the night and makes her way to the Bus stop, a slim figure steps out of the shadows and falls into step next to her. “Ah, Inspector Lestrade, congratulations on the promotion. I have a few questions for you about-” And Health And Hygiene Inspector (Class D- Small Retail Food Storage and Service) Billie Lestrade repeats the three words that have become motto and mantra for her family.  “Go Away Holmes”. 

[atlinmerrick]

I NEED THIS BOOK. So @asimovsideburns, howzit going?

[none-ofthisnonsense]

@leseigneurdufeu this looks like your kind of post

[prokopetz]

While I was going through my old school papers today, I found one of those trick quizzes that high school teachers who think they're terribly clever like to hand out – you know, the ones with a long, complicated series of instructions where the first instruction is "read all instructions in full before following any instruction other than this one", and the final instruction is "disregard all instructions other than first instruction and this one", and you lose a point for each preceding instruction you actually carried out – and now I desperately need to come up with an in-universe rationale for an SCP Foundation containment procedure article to be structured that way.

[gingershambles]

Not the point of this post at all but one of these questionnaires Is literally part of why I ended up dropping out of high school. My careers class (a mandatory class you're supposed to take in grade 9 to help you set yourself up for picking a career) had one of these and the teacher was so cruel about the people who didn't read all the instructions (My dyslexic ass) that I didn't go to that class again. I was already having issues with having panic attacks when being given feedback so bad I couldn't be at school this was one of two times when they actually called an ambulance because of my breathing. Eventually this got so bad I ended up dropping it my last semester.

Careers is a mandatory credit for passing and so I eventually got a job through my therapy program and later decided I actually did want my high school diploma at 25 just for the piece of paper (I was tired of writing highest level of education Middle School on forms when I needed 2.5 credits to graduate), I had to go to a class about getting a job and picking a career as a fucking 25-year-old with a full-time job and it was absolutely ridiculous.

At one point the teacher who was minimum 85 was talking about how he had two students in his class, one of whom pushed himself constantly because he wanted to retire a millionaire and the other one who said all he wanted to be happy was to have enough money to keep a roof over his head and his girlfriend fed and some left over for weed (he said this in a way that was super racist) he was trying to make a point about how a one guy became a lawyer and the other guy just ended up living in the same neighborhood he grew up in without his life becoming better, but all I can think of was that the second guy seemed actually happy and the first guy seemed super stressed for some theoretical peaceful future. And pushing yourself needlessly to fill societal expectations on success is why I ended up having panic attacks so bad I quit school in the first place.

So sure reading every question first and building towards the future may set you up for success. But taking it one by one, day by day focusing on the task in front of you can give you the satisfaction now when that one little piece is done rather than only once the whole of your life is.

I guess the real point is that I would die to the supernatural horror if I was given a list like that to contain it. Disregard my day-by-day philosophy when dealing with life or death situations.

[soaked-doors]

mom says it’s my turn to do a post TS redesign

i like to think zoro adds red to his palette for luffy. more design notes under da cut

[professorlizzard]

"Recall" is a funny word because I keep reading it as "Remember" instead of "Ordering to return", so I on first read I have interpreted "Tesla recalls the cybertrucks" as them going "Remember that terrible car we made? Good times..."

[louisegluckpdf]

google maps wrapped 2023

you confused your right and left 523 times

your most traveled-to destination was your own home

you said "girl shut the fuck up" to the voice giving directions every time it told you you'd made a wrong turn

[beanghostprincess]

[trashchaser]

I just think that brook would really stress law out, like, conceptually

[catsofyore]

In 1944 a kitten named George (short for General Electric) was saved from drowning by a U.S. Navy crew member. George was then photographed and given a liberty card and detailed health record. Source.

[ethicalhorseslaughter]

[bogleech]

There's too much going on here