* NAP QUEEN ! @girlcrutched - Tumblr Blog

*･ WHEN LIFE OFFERS YOU A DREAM SO FAR BEYOND ANY OF YOUR EXPECTATIONS, IT’S NOT REASONABLE TO GRIEVE WHEN IT COMES TO AN END ! ❯ TEMPLATE CREDIT.

#* promo.

icebrbie-deactivated20180516

❛ even her rage is beautiful. ❜ independent / private / highly selective / canon-divergent rosalie hale of the twilight saga.

#* promo.#follow the actual love of my life

sparklinwiings

do me a favour and reblog this if you’re happy to rp with disabled characters?

#* psa.#* ooc.

ollifree

John Mulaney Sentence Starters

fentasm-deactivated20190203

ollioxenfreee:

NEW IN TOWN

❝ I was hoping that by now I would look older. ❞

❝ I never thought about how to handle real problems in adult life. ❞

❝ Looks like regular sand, but then you’re gonna start to sink into it. ❞

❝ That’s pure mom. ❞

❝ Luckily, I had a good alibi. ❞

❝ It’s a grid system, mother fucker. ❞

❝ Of the racial slurs, that has got to be the laziest. ❞

❝ Before I went through puberty I had the voice of a little flute. ❞

❝ No one knows what you’re talking about you idiot. ❞

❝ You will treat me with respect! ❞

❝ I am a tiger mom. ❞

❝ First off, no. ❞

❝ Midgets were never enslaved! Unless you count the Wonka Factory. ❞

❝ You’re gonna have to get used to that. ❞

❝ Yeah, you got it, man. ❞

❝ It was really easy to get away with murder before they knew about DNA. ❞

❝ Oh, good, it has a mind of its own. ❞

❝ It’s really easy not to go to things. ❞

❝ That you would do anything is totally remarkable. ❞

❝ The less amount of time you live the better. ❞

❝ I was definitely gay when I was a little boy. ❞

❝ I have girlfriend and she’s a female person. ❞

❝ Go, fetch! ❞

❝ Life is a fucking nightmare. ❞

❝ I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and one day I’ll die. ❞

❝ What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? ❞

❝ Let’s go over there and destroy the place. ❞

❝ Fuck da police! ❞

❝ I’ve never climbed a fence that high before. ❞

❝ Did I do that? ❞

❝ Hey, come here. I want to show you something. ❞

❝ Why do you do this? ❞

❝ I’m not gonna kill that guy. ❞

❝ Hey can you help me out? I’m very gay. I’d like a few dollars. ❞

❝ Yeah, that’s the type of lowbrow shit i’m looking for. ❞

❝ It was a lie. To get drugs. ❞

THE COMEBACK KID

❝ I know how big letters should be. ❞

❝ You totally forgot the lesson you just learned. ❞

❝ Do not fuck with me. ❞

❝ Marriage is gonna be very magical. ❞

❝ I bet he did kill his wife. ❞

❝ I never knew relationships were supposed to make you feel better about yourself. ❞

❝ Anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents needs to die. ❞

❝ Why would you marry a woman if she’s already having sex with you? ❞

❝ If you just bought the cow nobody would say that anymore! ❞

❝ It’s just a little bit wrong, isn’t it? ❞

❝ What a mighty king I will be. ❞

❝ It’s haunted, but it has a lovely kitchen backsplash. ❞

❝ You don’t deserve a beach house. ❞

❝ This is an on-fire garbage can. ❞

❝ I don’t care for that shit at all. ❞

❝ You’re never too young to learn our national no-snitching policy. ❞

❝ No one wants to applaud the penis of a thirty-two-year-old weirdo. ❞

❝ You know how I’m filled with rage? ❞

❝ So you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under. ❞

❝ This is the best movie idea I’ve ever heard in my life. ❞

❝ Kids have it very good now. ❞

❝ Doesn’t anyone wanna know why his dick was near my biters in the first place? ❞

❝ How did he lose his arm? ❞

❝ That’s exactly what you won’t ask. ❞

❝ You have your law practice, and me, I have all these fucking markers. ❞

❝ I’m just reading this Yellow Pages. ❞

❝ My dad loved us! He just didn’t care about our general happiness or self-esteem. ❞

❝ McDonald’s! McDonald’s! McDonald’s! McDonald’s! ❞

❝ That is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. ❞

❝ How perfect is that? ❞

❝ We’d rather you do it in the house than go somewhere else. ❞

❝ Ah…numbers. The letters of math. ❞

❝ One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet! ❞

❝ Don’t you see? I’m a duck now. ❞

❝ If you eat enough ass and suck enough dick, one day you can sell drugs. ❞

❝ Hey, man. I like your button. ❞

#* meme.

dovingmemes

zombie apocalypse meme

send in a number for a situation. some are shippy. one can potentially be nsfw.

—— SCAVENGING FOR SUPPLIES

001. our muses enter an abandoned super market / pharmacy / store that seemed quiet and zombie free … and then they heard a moan 002. your muse finds mine’s dehydrated and utterly close to passing out. 003. our muses run into a bag full of supplies … did the person who leave it die? did they forget it? or … is it a trap? 004. our muses barely get any alone time considering they’re always with their group; the only time they can be alone is during supply runs. our muses decide to take advantage of this by canoodling in the back room of the store. 005. our muses, who are strangers, run into each other in the pharmacy … and there’s only one bottle of antibiotics left.

—— LOOKING FOR SHELTER

006. our muses have been traveling the roads for weeks now, searching for a new place to rest their heads. they finally run into a town that appears promising … 007. your muse crashes in on my muse’s shelter, begging my muse to let yours stay for the night at least. 008. our muses are traveling up north when they run into a community. after some time, they decide to communicate with the leader of the community to try and get a place to stay. but something about this place just doesn’t seem right … 009. your muse is the leader of a community and my muse is the newest traveler to find it. your muse tries to gauge out if mine is a good addition for the community or not. 010. it has been weeks and our muses have gotten no luck in looking for a solid place to stay. it’s been messing with their mental, physical and emotional health … they’re very close to splitting up. they need to find something soon.

—— IN RIVALING GROUPS

011. our muses run into each other while out, they are both alone and have been instructed to kill anyone from the other group on sight. 012. our muses are the forbidden love of the zombie apocalypse : a part of rivaling groups but they sneak off and meet up whenever they can. OPTIONAL: one day my muse gets followed by someone a part of their own group. 013. your muse finds mine injured, your muse has to decide whether to help mine or leave them there to die. my muse is begging yours for help and is offering to give or do anything in return. 014. our muses are the leaders of their respective groups, they’ve agreed to meet to discuss a peace treaty. little do they know, they both planned to surprise attack the other. 015. our muses are caught in a heated war between their respective groups. my muse corners yours in a secluded area, they’re both about to attack until they realize … our muses are significant others that had gotten separated when the outbreak started months ( or even years ) ago.

—— VARIOUS OTHER SITUATIONS

016. my muse has the flu. a usually curable illness, but they ran out of medicine and now they have to find a way to go out and look for some without straining my sick muse even more. 017. our muses find themselves totally exposed in an open area with zombies staggering around them. they have to find a way to safety and fast. 018. our muses are leaders of their respective groups, both communities have been striving for over a year now. our muses are meeting to try and talk about the prospect of working together, trading, etc. maybe even come up with some kind of route so members ( and our muses ) can visit each other. 019. our muses are hungry and, by the grace of luck, there seems to be an animal they can eat and hunt. though, unable to use their guns with a fear that the noise would attract the dead, our muses need to find a way to trap that animal before they starve to death. 020. Mun’s Choice / Randomize #

#* meme.