no I'm really serious about disabled people being comfortable without any consequences, I think the government should be obliged to make disabled people comfortable without fear of anything interfering with their comfort.
like I'm actually pretty serious and I'm not joking, make wheelchairs more comfortable and more bigger for fat disabled people, and just disabled people who want bigger wheelchairs because it's more comfortable, on top of that make doors bigger to accommodate those with bigger wheelchairs.
this isn't even that expensive for how much money the government has, they can do it, they just won't to feed the ableism that has been there since the start of capitalism, but is now starting to get less ignored.
Rabbot time travel au // E // Use of the F-slur // Jack is 50 Robby is 22 and Jack is 50 and Robby is 52 // nerdy little bubbe’s boy robby //
9.04am. Jack's face hits his pillow. His back aches. His leg aches. His temples behind his eyes ache. With no effort at all, he slips into unconsciousness.
4.27 pm. Jack blinks awake to his face pressed up against a matted foisty carpet. His back aches. His leg aches. His temples behind his eyes still ache.
Rabbot time travel au // E // // Jack is 50 Robby is 22 and Jack is 50 and Robby is 52 //
Jack blinks open his eyes and for a second his vision swims. When he surfaces again it's to his own room and his own bed. Covers rumpled like he'd just slept in them but when he puts a hand under his body the sheets are cold.
Huh. He sits up. Head fuzzy.
Maybe he could convince himself it's a dream but the shirt he's wearing is both too tight and for a band he's never even fucking heard of.
Shit.
He runs a hand down his face, he needs…. he needs to talk to Michael.
Robby looks a little worse for wear when he opens his door, which makes sense given it's 6am and his day off, but like fuck is Jack waiting. This is genuinely the craziest shit that's ever happened to him in his life. This is like, happens in a movie type shit. This is just fucking insane.
"Jack?" Robby yawns, squinting through sleep crusted eyes. "Was'up brother?"
"Hey. Hi. So." Jack starts, and then promptly stalls. Because what if he … is… crazy. "Yeah okay lemme in I need to talk to you."
He muscles in and flings himself on Robby's living room couch with a groan as his bewildered best friend comes trailing in after him.
"What's going on? You okay?"
"No. Yeah. Maybe. I just had a crazy fucking night Michael. I wanna- I need to return this I guess." He throws the t-shirt over to him and watches as he unfurls it, understanding dawning over his face.
It ripples through his face, confusion morphing into- fucking awfully- pain?
"Oh." Robby swallows hard. "Did you… just get back?"
"Yeah, just woke up and came straight here." Though as he says clarity hits him like a fucking brick. He still has Robby's lube and cum on his cock. From thirty fucking years ago. Jesus Christ. From the way Robby- his Robby- this Robby's eyes draw down he wonders if he's thinking the same thing too. "It's just- I needed to see you to see if you also… you know. That I wasn't crazy."
Robby snorts, laughing tightly. "Yeah I spent a good few years wondering that too. Wait a second. Just…"
He snaps up and heads out of the room, then upstairs, then before Jack can start to panic he's back with a small shoebox… his… fuck, his lube shoebox. Jack is filled, inexplicably, with a cloying fondness for lil' Robby all over again.
"Here." He throws Jack his boxers, thankfully washed clean of his cum, but undeniably the ones he went to bed in last night.
"Well."
"Yeah."
"Shit… do you have coffee? I feel like I'm like…. buzzing right now and you look like you're gonna pass out." Jack babbles.
"Right. Yeah." Robby says, standing stiffly and disappearing into the kitchen. Which isn't ideal either, leaving Jack here with all this nervous energy. So he follows Robby like a lost puppy into the kitchen and he's-
Is he?
Holy shit is he crying?
"Michael-"
"Jesus Jack. Can you just- can you give me a minute."
"Michael-"
Robby grits his teeth and looks up the ceiling, sighing when his fancy little bean grinder beeps. He turns away from Jack to the mugs and says, "You know I started going by Robby because of you. Because that's what you'd called me, and I wanted to remember you."
Jack swallows hard. He didn't think about- he's been too caught up in the fucking insanity of it and the need to share it with the one person who would understand to really think about Robby's response.
"Why didn't you ever say anything?"
Robby laughs humorlessly and froths the milk. When the noise of the steam fades he shrugs.
"You were married when I met you. I didn't know if- if maybe it had happened whilst you were with Liz? And then I got to know you and thought probably not. You're too- anyway, doesn't matter, because I remembered you with grey hair so." He waves his hand dismissively. "Then you were grieving, and then I didn't know if I'd just made it up or not. Seemed like a kinda crazy thing to tell you."
It flares hot and wild in Jack's chest and for a second he's angry. So angry that he snaps, "I can't imagine knowing that and keeping it from you."
Robby hardens right back. "Well I couldn't imagine telling you."
Jack scoffs.
"Jack come on. No, come on. That's a crazy thing to try and explain. When would you have done it then? If you were me? When I first met you and you were with her? When we were friends? Just how close would you have wanted us to be to be sure I wouldn't 302 you? How the fuck was I supposed to say hey do you remember when you travelled back in time and fucked twenty two year old me for four days and fundamentally changed the course of my life?"
Robby laughs, and Jack feels like he might puke.
"Go on, how would you have said it? Jack, you're my best friend- this version of us here and now? You're my best friend, but you were also my first everything- no. No, Jack. Don't look at me like that."
He runs a hand over his face at Jack's open eyed look. When he opens his mouth again he doesn't stop, he just goes and goes and when Jack blinks, the Robby in front of him shimmers and blurs with that insecure twenty two year old. The same defensive structures rising up.
"I was a shit liar, you must have known? There was no one before you. I'd never even kissed anyone. I swerved Kelsey on my 19th so she got my cheek I- there was no one before you. No one. And it's fucked because- because you were the closest thing I had to a father, a role model, a- a- I thought about you for ages. I had four days with you and I fucking- I fell in lo-" He stops himself, and Jack feels pain- real and physical- shoot up his chest. "I joined fucking MSF for you."
No, no, no. He can't. Jack can't have been responsible for that.
"You joined to run away from her death-"
Robby scowls at him, as if he didn't tell him himself that he struggled through his final exams, got his licence and flew straight overseas because he didn't want to deal with Esther's house.
"Maybe. But the idea of it was all you. Heroic Jack. The great army medic. Guy who taught me how to stand up for myself and to throw a damn good punch."
"Fuck off I couldn't walk two a step without needing your help for four days. I had to piss in your sink." Jack shouts. "I was a fucking mess. I don't know- god Robby how could you have- how did you-"
Robby must hear the desperation in his voice, because he softens then, just a little.
"I didn't see that." Robby says. "I just saw you and you were everything to me. You… you got to have both of us Jack. You've had me for near twenty years, your friend, and you've just had him for four days. I got you for- for just- and you made me feel special and wanted and like I could do anything or have anything and like my future was so bright, then you left me you left and I waited for near twenty years to not have you when I found you."
He left, like Robby's mother left and like Esther left. Oh god. Oh fuck.
"You don't understand." Robby continues like he's reading his mind. "I was so fucking lonely and I couldn't- I didn't even know your full name. To look for you- younger you."
"Michael I'm so sorry." He breathes out, grasping at the edge of Robby's elbow, but it's like he can't stop- or won't stop. Why would he? When he's been holding this in for years and he can finally say it without sounding crazy.
"I spent years missing you and being mad at you for leaving me but still when things were hard, when Bubbe died, I used to think… well if I get through this I get to have Jack soon. And I'd play out this. This stupid little fantasy where I meet you and then you travel back and fuck me and when you get back we'd be together. Real… real fucking happy ever after." Robby laughs bitterly, eyes swelling with un-shed tears. "It's been less than twenty four hours for you but its half my life for me."
"Micha-."
"Can you stop fucking calling me that." Robby snaps, turning back to the coffee and popping in Jack's single teaspoon of sugar. "It's fine." He wipes at his tears, furious. "Whatever. It's fine."
"I don't think its fine brother." Jack says carefully. "Look, lets- lets just sit yeah?"
Jack feels unmoored. More so than slipping out of time.
"I didn't-" Jack, for once, has no clue what to say. Usually the consequences of his actions are staunch and immediate. Here they ripple through time and space and weave through the life of his best friend, the man he loves, and he has no clue what to do with that. "I didn't think I'm sorry- I'm so sorry. I would have, if I'd have known you were… I didn't even know you swung that way."
Its not the right thing to say, but it's what makes it out of his mouth. The ceramic of his coffee mug burning his fingertips as he clutches it.
"Well, if it was real I didn't want to change anything in case it changed what happened. You said you didn't know so I was into men, so I made sure you didn't know."
Jack drops his head into his hands. Miserably, he mumbles, "thats- Robby that's no way to live."
Robby shrugs. "If I changed something, then it might not have happened at all. You don't know how many- how many time travel shows I watched and how many books I read… when you left it was shit, but the idea of you never coming in the first place?" He laughs, hollow.
"S' that why you won't watch back to the future with me?"
Robby's wet eyes gleam. He smiles softly and tilts his head. "Jack…"
"God. God I'm such a fucking idiot."
Slowly, Robby reaches into the shoebox and pulls out a small back moleskine. He flicks it open and passes it Jack silently. Inside is a list of things that Jack said, nearly everything he said actually, bullet pointed and itemised. Things about Robby, the future, them. He flicks through the pages and ends on a list of rules. 'DO NOT tell Jack I'm gay.'
Jack's hands shake.
"But you dated women. Robby you-"
"It wasn't like that. I wasn't… okay maybe a little. But I wasn't just dating women and waiting for you Jack. I wasn't a monk. I told you a few times actually, with the people that had ambiguous names. Alex? Remember? I just didn't want to change anything. If I- I thought I could be happy with them. I know it wasn't fair, for Janey particularly, but I did love them all Jack, in my own way."
"Michael."
Jack's face is wet. This isn't at all how he saw this going but. God. He didn't think. Why didn't he think. What was so important that he had to fuck up his friends whole life huh? Getting his fucking dick wet.
"What I don't understand though is. Here. This bit." Robby leans over and flicks to a well worn page. On it, is everything Jack told Robby about him. "This. Did you mean what you said? When you said all this shit about me."
Words he said just over three days ago, and thirty years ago, all at once.
He shakes his head. "Of course."
"I thought, back then," Robby's voice effects a careful neutrality, "that it sounded like you loved me."
"I do."
It's the easiest thing he's ever said. Years of feeling it and not saying anything. He thought it would feel different. More… substantial. But it just feels overwhelmingly, and slightly anticlimactically, easy. Michael is an easy man to love. He was then and he is now.
"You never said either." Robby whispers.
"Because I thought you were straight brother. Biggest cliche in the fuckin' book isn't it, to fall in love with your straight best friend. Fuckin- fuckin' classic." He sniffs. "Can you just- I'm sorry can you just get the fuck over here man. This is fucked. It's so fucked I- I-" His breathing is getting tight. "Sorry."
In a flash Robby is next to him, his big hands pulling Jack in against his chest and soothing his back. He makes his breathing big and deep for Jack to follow without saying anything- he knows how much having the box breathing spelled out pisses him off- and holds him while his panic subsides.
"I didn't mean to do that. To leave you. I didn't think it was real and then I just didn't think." He manages.
"I know Jack." Robby's breath tickles at his curls. "I know."
"God" He sniffs into Robby's chest. "Is this why you were so weird when we met? I couldn't ever figure that out."
"Well. Wouldn't you be?"
"Suppose."
He feels Robby shrug. "You never mentioned Liz. Those four days. I wasn't expecting it. Her."
Jack swallows. "Yeah."
"Jack, look at me, look at me Jack." When he pulls back Robby cups his chin. "I'm glad I got to know her. I'm glad I got to know you and grow with you, and I'm glad I got you when I was younger, just when I needed you- okay?"
Jack goes to shake his head, but Robby holds firm.
"No just…" He laughs. "Patrick? I did what we practiced and we became fucking friends. He's over in Canada working legal with a family and three kids. His eldest son is gay- can you believe? After all that. We send Christmas cards every year. I wish I would have spent more time with Bubbe none of that was a lie when I've talked about her, but I saw her a lot Jack- because of you. We always want more though right? And I joined Frisbee and some other bullshit society stuff- not chess- and I made some friends and I was happy for a good while. And maybe… maybe six months after I punched a guy creepin' on my friend Sarah and didn't break my fist." Robby laughs. "It wasn't all bad Jack. It wasn't all bad at all."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." Robby bites at his lower lip and Jack is overcome with a desperate urge to kiss him. To make it okay. To take away everything that was bad and to… to make up for lost time.
He pushes up and Robby's eyes widen before he crashes down to meet him, teeth clashing from the force of it. It's messy, awkward, not at all like the last kiss he shared with Robby only a few hours ago, but it's raw and real and desperate and Jack wouldn't change it for the world.
Nor would he change the way Robby kisses at his neck. The whispered Michael that makes Robby groan and bite at his ear. The soft and careful exploratory hands that shake as they slip under Jack's shirt. Don't leave me. Don't do anywhere this time. Please. His own under Robby's, going to slip it over his head, I won't, I won't Mike, I'm never going anywhere ever again.
"Wait." Robby's hand catches at the t-shirt. "I don't- I don't look the way I did then."
It takes a second for his lust slow brain to catch up. "What?"
"I know you wanted him," Robby nips at his lips. "You didn't say anything to me for years, but you wanted him and he was young and fit and uh-" He pulls back sheepishly. "-I've let myself go a bit and-"
"Michael, I didn't want you because you looked like a wet dream of a twink." Jack ruts his thigh between Robby's legs and feels the thickness of his cock. "I wanted him because he reminded me of you. Idiot. Not the other way around okay. Okay?"
"I mean-"
"No." Jack softly interrupts. "Come on, let me see you, please? Please Michael? Bud." He gambles, and Robby flushes a deep and satisfying ruddy red.
"Okay. I- okay."
~
Before Jack even knew Michael Robinavitch's name he'd already begun to shape him.
A man both out of time, and exactly at the right time, all at once. What luck, to get to fall in love with someone twice over.
Or no, that's not quite right, is it?
Maybe… what luck, to be able to know so intimately the man that you love, and then to have to live with the knowing that there is no version of Michael that exists without Jack's hands somewhere in the making of him. That the boy on the floor of a dorm room, and the man asleep now with his face pressed to Jack's sternum, are not two different people he got to love twice, but one continuous person.
Should he be searching for forgiveness? Or is it simply a thing that's always going to be a product of this fracture in time. This blip. This unexplained thing that Michael, at least, has searched for and found no answers to. Maybe both. Maybe neither. Maybe somewhere back in 1996 a young Michael is frantically scribbling in a moleskine notebook for the first time, and here in 2026 that same man is exhaling against Jack's collarbone finally at peace.
Jack thinks he might go insane trying to figure it all out. But maybe he doesn't need to.
It won't be easy, but maybe for the first time in their whole lives they're finally aligned in time.
~
I also made a little post for all four parts together here :) Thanks for coming with me on this lil Rabbot journey!
upon reviewing the notes I'm changing my position. games must be <50GB. no more mandatory 8k uncompressed textures!!! I don't believe in 8k I think it's fake
to be clear games really ought to be around 20 gigs or less. but I think in the spirit of generosity and mercy we won't criminally prosecute the developers until the file sizes breaks 50
just looked it up. holy fuck. they did it by de-duplicating assets. I'm just. my jaw is on the floor. supposedly duplicating assets helps load times on HDDs but. holy fuck at what cost
it's worse than that: The Helldivers devs were told that duplicating assets would help HDD load times, but then they actually tested it and it had basically zero effect on load times!
So they had more than sextupled the size of their game by following industry standard practice that actually did basically nothing!
having free control over our endrocrine systems and the ability to change our genitals is currently inextricably tied to trans rights, and for good reason, but frankly i don't think it even needs to be. it should just be a matter of bodily autonomy, and that should be universal. if a cis dude wants tits and a pussy i think that would be fine. if cis women want a dick or nothing at all that should be allowed i think. people shouldn't need to be transgender to be allowed to change their bodies. free the nipple, enlarge the nipple, remove the nipple. whatever the fuck you want. i dont know if there's a term for this belief but i hold it very strongly. everybody biohack yourselves NOW
actually very very grateful for the online slash long distance friendships and connections ive made on this hellsite and i don’t think i say that enough but!!!!!!!! i love you all so so much besties in my phone
