(Shakes violently) hi it is not very good and i cant do a readmore on mobile but I wrote ab my star wars oc.... hope u like it
CW: religious trauma (fictional religion), repetition, mild themes of overthinking and paranoia, unintentional s/h mention
Ace Insidious is a name that's become somewhat well known among the Coruscant underground- a musician who was known for constantly breaking the mold, shaking up norms, and turning tradition on its' head. Whether this was a GOOD thing... Well, that was yet to be decided.
But underneath all the edginess and overdramatic performances, Ace was just a person.
It had been an easygoing day for them so far.
Until someone made a comment on the holonet that, under normal circumstances, was seemingly innocent.
"COOLDROID95: Eh, this sound is personally a little too dark for me. Still, what you're doing is absolutely awesome! Stay epic, man!"
Before their eyes could even reach the encouraging message, their heart leapt into their throat at the first sentence.
Or more specifically, a certain phrase.
"A little too dark for me."
It's surprising how one word can ruin your day, isn't it?
The musician sat there. Time stood still, seconds melting into minutes, minutes stretching infinitely into what felt like hours.
No. Nonono. NonononoNONO THAT ISN'T WHAT I MEANt, I- I SWEAR, I'M NOT ONE OF THEM! I WOULD NEVER TURN! I'M NOT-
There is no emotion. There is peace.
Their thoughts raced miles ahead of them, harder to control than holding a slippery fish that was still alive and thrashing.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
The grip they had on their left arm was beginning to draw blood. It remained unnoticed, as did everything. No other thoughts were able to penetrate their mind as it scrambled for cover. They just want to forget, want to act like nothing was wrong, want to-
There is no passion, there is serenity.
Stop. Stop thinking about it. You're getting too heated. You need to let go. Stop. STOP.
No matter how long they tried to control their breathing, how many mantras they repeated, the feeling of cold, sharp terror clawed deeper into their chest, freezing them in place.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
Get a grip on yourself, Ace. Ya need to save the anger for the stage. The show can't go on like this! It's all in the past, anyways! Stop getting fussed over it, ya son of a bantha!
They closed their eyes, aggressively brushing the pink hair out of their face, the hair that had been glued to it by tears they didn't know they even shed. Why couldn't they get it together? It's just a stupid word. Their anger would only turn into fear and hate and lead to the dark side and NO NO NO THATWOULDN'T-
There is no death. There is the Force.
A violent bolt of lightning shot from their fingertips, destroying the console in front of them in a brilliant flash of light and color.
Look what you've done.
Look how you've fallen.
You went STRAIGHT TO THE DARKNESS.
YOU HAVE FALLEN. YOU HAVE FAILED THE ONE THING YOU WERE TAUGHT YOUR WHOLE LIFE. HOW COULD YOU TURN SO EASILY. SO WEAKLY.
Ace screamed.
Only a silence that brought cold chills followed.
"That's- that's not- That's not who I am!"
They pulled their knees to their chest, hiding their face from... nothing but themself.
"That's... that's not what I am."
