Disassem[bled].

Manny. New York. 🏳️‍🌈

[la-cocotte-de-paris]

[glassteeth-paperheart]

But you got away, didn't you babe

You just turned your back on the crowd

You got away, I never once heard you say

I need you, I don't need you

I need you, I don't need you

[finitewhitelight]

[glassteeth-paperheart]

Today, I will wear my white button-down

I'm tired of wanting more

I think I'm finally worn

For you have a way of promising things

And I've been a forest fire

I am a forest fire

And I am the fire and I am the forest

And I am a witness watching it

I stand in a valley watching it

And you are not there at all

So today, I will wear my white button-down

I can at least be neat

Walk out and be seen as clean

And I'll go to work, and I'll go to sleep

And I'll love the littler things

I'll love some littler things

[glassteeth-paperheart]

How do people process this kind of grief?

[glassteeth-paperheart]

[fitterandhappier]

Didn’t even try being happy today

[glassteeth-paperheart]

My nervous system will never be the same

[ayyalonso]

[glassteeth-paperheart]

You're going to marry the first girl you date after me.

She will be quiet and kind.

Not the type of girl who forgets to take her antipsychotic meds or even needs them in the first place.

She'll have mouse brown hair and light eyes.

Her favorite color is yellow.

She buys art from Amazon

And you take her on vacations.

Her job title will be something like "business development manager" and she'll have a degree that she got in 2009 from Saint John Fisher College.

Your siblings all will love her and invite her out to lunch.

She'll never tell you she hates herself, that she thinks there's something deeply evil and unforgivable about her.

She won't be afraid of the knives in the kitchen drawer

Or worry you when she doesn't eat.

You won't resent her when she asks you for a glass of water when she's sick

Because she's never sick for long

And her cheeks are rosy and she smiles from beneath the blankets

And she says thank you

And you say of course babe,

Anything for you.

Her fists won't be full of her own hair.

She hates the taste of tequila.

You'll wear matching outfits in your Christmas photos and

she'll be holding my dog

And she'll tell you she's so lucky

And she won't know that I cried in every room she now inhabits

Or that I almost bled to death in the kitchen last July

Or the number of times I begged you not to abandon me.

Maybe you'll fight for her, instead.

Actually,

You'll never have to fight.

[glassteeth-paperheart]

I hated Christmas growing up.

My mother's hand on my knee, telling me to sit still.

The choir music made hot tears blur my vision and stain my cheeks.

My plaid dress

with the Santa appliqué

made me claustrophobic

and itchy hives formed on my neck.

I tore my tights

hidden secretly

beneath the tulle for a tiny freedom.

I liked Christmas for a season,

when it was borrowed from other people's memories.

I could pretend to be normal

and loved

surrounded by warmth that goes back 100 years

but doesn't penetrate.

I smiled and tried to live in it, knowing one day I'd out myself as a fraud.

I hate Christmas.

I look in the mirror and see my mother's exhausted face in December.

I'll never belong to anything and nothing will ever belong to me.

My eyes are heavy and my bag is waiting at the door.

I never wanted to get too comfortable.

I never wanted to have to cut myself free.

[stillmybeatingmind]

Dolly Parton performs her new song "I Will Always Love You"

[homunculus-argument]

Nothing slapped my shit back into place like someone pointing out that the "genius gifted child with so much potential who got burnout and mental illness" is just the nerd equivalent to the jock "could have been a pro at sportsball if it wasn't for the injury".

[juniper-petunia]

they should make a version of socializing that doesn’t make you feel like you’re still the weird 12 year old kid that doesn’t know why she’s not normal like the other kids

[hiveswap]

Everyone say thank you american indigenous people for cultivating corn, potatoes, peppers, tomatoes, cacao, pumpkin, squash, and anything i missed. Makes life more meaningful globally

[xiaguangmagpie]

Yes actually I will not shut up about how these foods are from the Americas/cultivated by the people there, and did NOT exist in Asia, Africa or Europe before the 1490s, there was an absolute food revolution going on in the 1500s. Whatever you think is traditional food for your country? Check again, you’ve maybe only been using that ingredient for maybe 500 years. Here is the full list of crops, it is very interesting :))

[nudityandnerdery]

[chaoticbeau]

Ruby Cruz as Hazel Callahan in Bottoms (2023)

[kaceyrps]

RUBY CRUZ in THE SEX LIVES OF COLLEGE GIRLS