What's it like for Qifrey to feel the Silverwood curse?
We first learn about him when he tells Coco. He explains that "secrets are a heavy burden, and nothing brings more relief than letting them go"
But he didn't always know what he was. Yet he could feel something was wrong. Something different twisted inside him. If we focus on his experiences and facial expressions as he learns about it, we can learn a lot.
Here's the first time. He was drowning. Literally, obviously, but also metaphorically. He's got no friends, no memories, nothing. Olruggio saves him. Olruggio holds him tight. He lets out a sigh. He feels safe. And there's the tree.
This next one I broke up into a few key points. I see people dwell on the hand reaching memory flashback, and they interpret this as a wholly terrifying experience, but I disagree.
Beldaruit is playful, kind, and praising Qifrey. There's no tree motif of telltale krrrk sound, but Qifrey says it happened again. He recognizes the feeling.
And then he smiles. He brings his hand up to where beldaruit touched him, and he smiles. He says it wasn't upsetting AT ALL.
Next, he tries to describe it to Olruggio. When people are nice to him, it makes him feel uncomfortable. There's the tree in the background but he doesn't look scared.
And here, no one is touching him, praising him, etc. Olruggio is there, but mostly just listening. This is Qifrey. Saying he's never even thought about the future. Thinking he never thought he'd get the chance to consider what comes next. He could settle down, in a place like this, under the stars, with Olruggio by his side. And there's the feeling.
This one is abstract, because we are between flashbacks here. Qifrey is remembering Olruggio, the only person who doesn't care about his past, who sees him for who he is now. Olruggio, bright eyes and smiling, promising to always be his best friend. He is narrating how he got too entangled with Olruggio. He views Olruggio as the best thing in his life, and with the benefit of hindsight, he views himself as the worst thing for Olruggio.
We see Qifrey's outstretched hand, covered in tree growth. I believe this to be metaphorically. Because it's adult Qifrey's hand, but when we fully transition back to the present day, he has his hand clenched on his lap. No tree growth that we can see. He wants to reach out to Olruggio. Olruggio is sleeping beside him, but Qifrey has to keep him so far away.
The memory has affected him. It creeps through his body, emerging from his scars and threatening to take over. He has to take action. He tries one of his coping skills, physical discomfort. He wades into the cold lake, letting the water he hates surround him.
And then he moves on to mental anguish. It isn't enough to feel uncomfortable. He tortures himself to recall what happened that day. At the tower. The day he found out who he was. The day he ruined Olruggio's life.
