A Tale of Tragic Uncertainty and Trembling

I'm a generous spirit in the least warm way possible (they pronouns)

[showcasedisplaysofsanity]

ON PURPOSE, I'M GOING TO LOVE YOU ON PURPOSE

Jenny Slate // Casey McQuiston, Red, White & Royal Blue // Pleiades, Anne Carson // Taylor Jenkins Reid, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo // @oriley42 and @earth167 (and a half) on Tumblr // Jodi Picoult from The Book Of Two Ways // The Night Vale, Episode 100, The Toast // Adam Melchor, I Choose You // Kierston White, The Chaos of Stars

[meatsnail]

its my gender and i get to pick the appropriate times to misgender myself for comedic purposes

[meatsnail]

i beg you all please stop hiding these in the tags

[shilohtx]

pitter patter putter patter *you look down and see this*

[valtsv]

songs about love are fine and good but i think society would benefit a lot from more songs about werewolves

[distraughtlesbian]

ok i’ve washed my hair and put on a big t shirt there is no mental illness in this body

[theslowesthnery]

i feel like shit so can i show you guys my favourite minotaur statues/sculptures

[theslowesthnery]

warning for artistic nudity i guess

first, there’s this lovely guy

if i don’t gush over back muscles assume i am dead

then there’s this unnecessarily horny theseus and minotaur

another theseus and minotaur. theseus leave the minotaur alone challenge

nice butts and back muscles, i approve

then there’s this gorgeous lad

but my favourite is this pensive li’l guy

please look at him and his little tail and how he’s leaning on his own horn and is kinda just trying to figure things out. amazing

thank you, that’s all

[theslowesthnery]

wait i forgot one

“well now i’m not doing it”

[tiktaalic]

if you have a couple of bucks to spare, consider throwing them to The Indian Residential School Survivor Society (IRSSS). they provide counseling and other forms of support to first nations people who are residential school survivors. this is a list of other charities that support first nations people, this list is a mix of charities and ways to learn more about first nation activism and history, and this is a link to a free online college course called Indigenous Canada

[indiegenous-deactivated20260205]

hey all, I saw this post and wanted to share. it’s a flag created by a Two-Spirit person who designed a pride flag specifically for us. please go to her page and support her! 

everyone PLEASE reblog. indigenous lgbt folks should see that we can use our own flags and symbols. if you’re not indigenous don’t fucking clown on this post

[blackwoolncrown]

 THIS. I have seen far far too little of ppl willing to admit that uh, this is gonna be some kind of trauma for us; without taking that into account ppl are out here acting delusional.

Like sure be super productive or learn a new skill if you want but be very aware that you are a) coping via distraction and b) going to associate some of the stuff you’re doing with the stress of the pandemic/economic collapse

be real

[teaboot]

This may just be my experience as an autistic person, but the kids I’ve nannied whose parent’s complain of ‘bad awful in cooperative selfish autistic behavior’ are… Not like that? At all?

Like, for example, I cared for a kid for a while who was nonverbal and didn’t like being touched. Around six years old? Their parent said that they were fussy and had a strict schedule, and that they had problems getting them to eat. Their last few nannies had quit out of frustration.

So, I showed up. And for the first little while, it was awkward. The kid didn’t know me, I didn’t know them, you know how it is. And for the first… Day and a half, maybe? I fucked up a few times.

I changed their diaper and they screamed at me. I put the TV off and they threw things. Not fun, but regular upset kid stuff.

Next time, I figured, hell, I wouldn’t like being manhandled and ordered around either. Who likes being physically lifted out of whatever it is they’re doing and having their pants yanked off? Fucking few, that’s who.

Next time, I go, ‘hey, kiddo. You need a new diaper?’ and check. ‘I’m gonna go grab a new one and get you clean, okay?’ ‘Wanna find a spot to lay down?’ ‘Alright, almost done. Awesome job, thanks buddy’.

I learned stuff about them. They liked a heads up before I did anything disruptive. They didn’t mind that I rattled of about nothing all day. They didn’t like grass or plastic touching their back. They were okay with carpets and towels. They liked pictionary, and the color yellow, and fish crackers, and painting. They didn’t look me in the face (which was never an issue- I hate that too, it fucking sucks) but I never had reason to believe that they were ignoring me.

Once I learned what I was doing wrong, everything was fine. Did they magically “”“become normal”“” and start talking and laughing and hugging? No, but we had fun and had a good time and found a compromise between what I was comfortable with and what they were comfortable with. (For the record, I didn’t magically sailor-moon transform into a socially adept individual, either. In case anyone was wondering.)

I don’t like eye contact. It’s distracting and painful and stresses me out.

They didn’t like eye contact either.

Is eye contact necessary to communication? No. So we just didn’t do it.

Was there ever a situation where I HAD to force them to drop everything and lay down on the lawn? No. So the thirty second warning came into play, and nobody died.

“But they never talked!”

No, they didn’t. And they didn’t know ASL, and they didn’t like being touched.

So you know what happened?

My third day in, they tugged on my shirt. ‘Hey monkey, what’s up?’ I asked. And they tugged me towards the kitchen. ‘oh, cool. You hungry?’. They raised their hands in an ‘up’ gesture. ‘you want up? Cool.’ and I lifted them up. They pointed to the fridge. I opened it. They grabbed a juice box out of the top shelf, and pushed the door closed again. ‘oh sweet, grape is the best. You are an individual of refined taste.’ I put them down and they went back to their room to play Legos.

“But they didn’t say please or thank you!” “But you should be teaching them communication skills!” “But!” Lalalalala.

1. The entire interaction was entirely considerate and polite. I was never made uncomfortable. I was made aware of the problem so that I could help them solve it. There was no mess, no tears, no bruises, no shouting.

2. Did my brain collapse into a thousand million fragments of shattered diamond dust out of sheer incomprehension? No? Then their communication skills were fine. Goal realized, solution found, objective complete. They found the most simple and painless way to communicate the situation and then did it.

Kids are not stupid. AUTISTIC kids are not stupid.

I’m willing to bet real cash money that the real reason the last few nannies had quit had a million times more to do with their own ability to cope, not the kid’s.

To this day, that was the most relaxed and enjoyable job I’ve ever had.

And I know I don’t speak for everyone. All kids are different. All adults are different. But in my time and experience, pretty much 95% of all my difficulties with children come from ME not being understanding enough. Every single “problem child” I’ve worked with turned out to be a pretty cool person once I started figuring out how to put my ego aside and let them set the pace.

Again, not speaking universally, here. I’m just saying. Sometimes social rules are bullshit, you know? People are people

[13faeinapenguinsuit]

Have you ever read an article about the study that found that teaching the parents to cope with autistic kids yields better results than other therapies? Because this is exactly what they were talking about.

[unbossed-deactivated20251218]

Read that last line again. I’ll wait.

You want to read it again, I know. That’s the good shit, huh? 

Oh, yeah.

[seashellronan]

all those posts like “don’t give yourself bangs during quarantine” “don’t dye your hair” “don’t shave your head” are honestly bullshit this is the Perfect time you’re literally not allowed to leave the house for god knows how long do something crazy who gives a fuck

[breadknight-likes-things]

"First, He Was Home Alone, Now, He's Lost In New York."

Oh god that turned out grim, thanks a lot Home Alone 2.

[agilitylabs]

The Future Isn’t Big Enough for the Both of Them

[gettingvetted]

"The park is open."

Lol no it's not

[autisticmeme]

“Seven deadly sins. Seven ways to die."

[glitterandsaucery]

“in the media circus of life, they were the main attraction”

[falseknees]

Be yourself

[midsummernight98]

my #1 piece of advice for anyone who is not used being stuck in their homes is to remember, every day, to do things that ground you.

playing on the computer, watching movies and tvs, even reading books - these are all great ways to make time pass quickly BUT they are not grounding activities, they are activities that instead make you more prone to getting lost in your head a bit - you look up and it’s 2 in the morning and you don’t know where the day went.

so alternate any activity that involves escapism (text messaging, movies, video games, ect.) with a grounding activity.  otherwise, if you’re like me, you’ll start to feel all weird and floaty and nothing matters and what is time and when was the last time i ate.

obviously, work with what resources you have and keep in mind any issues, physical or otherwise, that might make these suggestions not right for you.  

also, i like to do all of these with my preschooler and toddler, because they benefit from the shared activity and from the grounding themselves as well.  i’m not a board-game mom or a mom that likes to coordinate cute art projects or activities - i just don’t have the focus for that (adhd).  instead i prefer to just share activities with my kids as described below.

suggested grounding activities:

*  cooking a meal.  not microwaving something, preparing a meal that involves chopping vegetables, requires you to stand over a steaming pan stirring constantly.  bake a boxed cake for no reason other than you need a grounding activity.  chop an onion.  make ants-on-a-log.  look at the weird leftover stuff in the pantry and make something equally weird with it.  (my husband likes to do this.)

*  walking (my favorite).  if you can, go outside to walk, if not, even walking around the rooms in your house will help.  take your kids on a walk.  raining? go for a (brief) walk anyway.  my kids LOVE a rainy day walk because they get to splash in muddy puddles.

*  loud, cheerful music that you sing along to.  this is not the time for wistful,  angsty breakup music.  you want abba.  you want cyndi lauper.  you want “you can call me al.”  PLEASE dance along.  PLEASE sing as loud as you can.  kids will love having a dance party.

*  making art.  glue popsickle sticks, paint with watercolors, anything messy or tactile is A+++.  everyone has 500 rolls of toilet paper, use those empty rolls for art projects. playdoh.  molding clay.  my kids’ favorite activity is stringing beads on pipe cleaners.  

*  heavy work.  if you have the resources and a backyard, a good thing to do is to go outside and start moving heavy things.  clear out a spot for a garden.  move bricks.  clean up trash.  if you don’t have outside space, move your furniture around the room.  push and pull and lift, if you can.   alphabetize your book collection, moving your hardbacks from shelf to shelf.  

*  picking a small area or room and cleaning it.  what i mean is: washing a window, wiping a baseboard, scrubbing a tub.  doesn’t have to be the whole room.  just one thing.  what i am NOT suggesting: organizing closets and shelves.  organizing requires making decisions.  you are probably not in the right headspace for descision-making right now.  please chose MINDLESS physical grounding activities.  as an added bonus, cleaning makes you feel productive AND soothes your anxiety over germs.  for example, my kids LOVE to mop.  they beg for that priviledge.  let them mop! make a big wet mess on the floor and then dry it up with towels.  

*  play with toys.  i am literally suggesting pulling out a box of blocks and sitting on the floor with your kids, if you have them, or with your pets, if you don’t.  blocks are great for grounding me (and my kids).  build towers, roads, cities, ect.  it’s tactile, mindless and meditative, and it’s probably something you don’t usually do every day, so it’s novel.  other suggestions: barbies.  matchbox cars.  nothing that requires batteries or makes noise.  no lego sets - an open-ended activity.  don’t try to follow directions.  just get a bunch of foam blocks and make a tower.

*  paint your nails.  paint your kids’ nails.  both my son and daughter love having their nails painted.  it’s tactile, it’s good physical contact, it tickles a little, it’s mindless.  

*  play with a pet.  order a laser pointer for your kitty or get a squeaky ball for the dog.  get on the floor.  

these are some suggestions off the top of my head, please feel free to add more

[pancakeke]

hate when people think I know stuff. I dont know anything, I just use Google. I Google simple words because they look like they’re spelled wrong and I cant be sure. I Google how to boil eggs every time I do it. this is who I am.

[fozmeadows]

Watching my toddler figure out how to language is fascinating. Yesterday we were stumped when he kept insisting there was a “Lego winner” behind his bookshelf - it turned out to be a little Lego trophy cup. Not knowing the word for “trophy”, he’d extrapolated a word for “thing you can win”. And then, just now, he held up his empty milk container and said, “Mummy? It’s not rubbish. It’s allowed to be a bottle.” - meaning, effectively, “I want this. Don’t throw it away.” But to an adult ear, there’s something quite lovely about “it’s allowed to be a bottle,” as if we’re acknowledging that the object is entitled to keep its title even in the absence of the original function.

[legit-writing-tips]

Another good post to read for those writing small human characters. 

[jennytrout]

My son was about three when he came to me in the middle of the day and said, “Mommy, there’s a knight behind the bush.” I thought he meant a toy knight or something. So I follow him outside and he goes, “Listen. Do you hear it? It’s night behind the bush.” It was a cricket. A cricket was standing in the little patch of shade under the bush, chirping. So, my son saw this dark area with accompanying nighttime sounds and decided, okay, well, that is a night right there. Their brains are incredible.

[deleted20211121]

My little bean knows she’s two, constantly saying proudly ‘I’m two!’ And the other day she saw this very frail old lady who looked one foot in the grave, pulled a face and said ‘oh shiiiit. She’s three.’ I almost screamed.

[cantnotknope]

I live in Korea and have a lot of international friends, and the same is true with language barriers in adults. 

*Looking at a bowl of pears* “Can you please pass me the… apple’s friend?” 

[masterofbirds]

OH SHIT SHE’S THREE

[glitterandsaucery]

I also have frequent aphasia and sometimes have some fun things come from it. Usually not as nice as children or non-native speakers, but sometimes.