Warnings: mentions of- a fight scene, death, drinking, smoking, partying, sleeping around (but itâs all consensual so i donât see a problem with it. But i know some people do so TW ig), name calling (but they donât actually mean it and none of them think they do, theyâre loving nicknames), crying, pining/angsty love, blood, another packâs fight, Yeonjun being dumb basically poor baby
Authorâs Note: Home sick with Covid so I figured Iâd put out another chapter! Hope it does totally suck :/ it was a bit rushed on my part so Iâll end up going back and editing some things later Iâm sure. I know itâs a bit slow but itâs leading up to the next chapter i swear. Let me know what you think!
Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! Theyâre just for fun/entertainment!
There Will Be Blood Masterlist
The Smart One: Part 1, Part 2, Part 4
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Bold- Dialogue Italics- Thoughts
Tag list- @hihello-pinky
It took Yeonjun a while to stop sobbing mindlessly so he could explain himself and apologize to the pack. And at first, the pup of the pack was really mad at him for refusing to interact with you. Though after he began tending to his wounds, Huening Kai started to think about just how bad the fight they had couldâve ended.
So he, in a way at least, understood that his brother was just trying to protect you. Which the younger boy appreciated, he cared for your safety as your friend too.
Though as the day slowly faded into night, he kept thinking about the current predicament the oldest had to face. And the more he thought about it, the more unfair he found it all. In fact, he still thought the whole situation was bullshit.
He didnât get the purpose in keeping you in the dark about everything. He didnât see why you shouldnât get to decide whether or not you wanted to be part of the family on your own. He didnât understand why he and his brothers had to live their lives only half fulfilled when all the normal humans got to go on and live normal lives.
But mostly, he didnât get why Yeonjun shouldnât be able to have the love of his life by his side.
For as long as Kai had known him, the eldest wolf rarely cared for anything, or anyone, enough to fight for it as much as he had fought for you the last day alone. Truthfully, he hardly even seemed to care about what was going on with his own pack unless he absolutely had to. All he acted like he cared about was the party boy lifestyle he had relished in.
And oddly enough, before the dayâs incident, Yeonjun hadnât even ever fought with his brothers before. Sure he smacked them every now and then to make them come to their senses. Sure he raised his voice at them when he was angry with them.
But he never got to the point of physically attacking them. Other people yeah, he was known to start fights with people outside of their pack. Just never within the pack.
Thatâs how Kai knew just how badly the whole situation was affecting his hyung. When he knocked him to the ground, he could see panic race across his face. He could see the fear behind his crimson eyes. And he could feel the internal conflict he was going through with every punch thrown his way.
He wanted his brother to be happy. He wanted him to get to live the life everyone should have the choice in living. And he wanted you as a sister.
It wasnât even because it would mean youâd be able to help him with school whenever he needed. Or that youâd feel the need to take care of him as the only mate in the pack.
The truth was, Hyuka was already sandwiched between two sisters in his real family. He loved having them around, even if it meant constantly fighting and bickering with them. So he knew heâd love having you, one of the few friends he had ever managed to make on his own that he never disagreed with, as a new addition to their pack.
And the pup just knew youâd have the best influence on Yeonjun. Where he was frantic and illogical, you were calm and rational. Where his brother was unpredictable and borderline dangerous at times, you were steady and always comforting. Where he was cold and charming, you were loving and awkward.
The two of you were like Fire and Water. Your personalities were so different it was almost comical. But Kai knew that fate wouldnât have brought the two of you together as mates if it wasnât exactly what you both needed. And it was cruel of outside forces to try and pull the two of you apart.
He couldnât stand for it anymore. He wouldnât. He brought you two together and he was damn determined to keep you that way.
And he knew that once Yeonjun had gotten to know you personally and spoken to you for just a little bit longer, heâd be unable to keep his word on distancing himself from you. All Kai had to do was find the perfect way to get you two talking.
ââââ
Soon, days of ignoring you turned into weeks. And soon those weeks turned into over a month. Yeonjun had managed to stay away from you for over a month, and he was proud of himself for it. Proud, and gutted for not being able to be anywhere close to you for your own safety.
Anytime he felt like giving into his instincts, anytime he could sense he was about to throw it all out the window to go and get close to you, he had to stop and remind himself it was for the best. You were safer with him out of your life now.
Even if you still got bullied relentlessly by some of your so-called classmates. It was better than getting attacked by a werewolf or put in harm's way because a hunter decided to go after their little pack again.
But he would be lying if he said his lack of knowledge about how you were doing wasnât killing him.
So much so that he had actually gone back on his word to follow you around campus a few times. He hadnât meant to, truly he was pretty good at staying away from you.
But he just had to make sure you were doing alright every now and then. He stayed out of your line of sight, you had no clue he was anywhere around you. He still kept his word.
He just⊠had to make sure you were doing okay. Which he soon found was a hard task to figure out without speaking to you as a lot of the time you had the same neutral facial expressions and body language.
The only time he knew you werenât okay was when he noticed a group of guys lead by someone Yeonjun was friends with came and started bothering you and pulling on your hair, with one of the body even threatening to cut it which nearly sent him into an uncontrolled rage.
He took care of it by throwing the jackass against a wall, threatening to cut him somewhere if he ever so much as looked in your direction again, and let him know that you were off limits to the lot of them till the end of time. Which his friend, or ex friend after he saw how cruel he was being towards you, thought he was absolutely fucking crazy for. But it made your life a little easier and thatâs all he cared about.
Still besides that, he had no real contact with you and so he had no idea what was happening in your life minus what he had seen with his own eyes.
In fact, the only news Yeonjun got of you was what he had managed to catch from the pupâs conversations with their other brothers. The eldest didnât have the courage to ask for any information himself, fearing that if he heard just the wrong thing heâd go running to your side and ruin your life.
And his brothers didnât want to tell him anything about you if they could help it, figuring that it mustâve been torturing enough to be away from you.
Even so, the oldest of the pack couldnât help but keep his ears open for any mention of your name or topics that couldâve been related to you whenever he was near them.
So he knew you had picked up two new students to tutor because your teachers asked you to help them out. Because you were someone that cared for others.
He wished he could ask you why you felt the need to spread yourself so thin just so you didnât let your teachers down. He wished he could ask you if you were getting enough sleep and taking care of yourself enough to compensate for the added stress. But he couldnât. All he could do was hope his baby brother was doing it for him.
He knew that you aced your physics exam you had been worried about because Kai insisted that he and the other boys take you out to lunch to celebrate since you had no one else to reward you for the good job you did. He wished more than anything he could have celebrated your victory with you too.
Yeonjun hoped you listened to the boys when they told you how proud they were of you. He hoped that you believed every word he secretly coached/begged Huening to praise you with because he couldnât tell you himself.
He knew that you recently went back to visit your mother in⊠Kenya? At least thatâs the word he thought he had heard Kai tell Beomgyu when he questioned why you didnât have a tutoring session with him that week.
He wondered what your life was like there and if you had a good time. He wondered what your family was like and if you missed them as much as he missed you.
Yeonjun felt like a hollowed out shell. Most days he only woke up or ate because his brothers practically forced him out of bed to shove food down his throat.
He didnât even try to attend classes anymore, something that his school had sent him a notice for. But he didnât care, he knew his rather well off and neglectful parents would just donate some large amount of money to the administration so they wouldnât make a fuss over it or ask anymore about it.
He no longer attended parties. He still drank and smoked, but only when he could actually pull himself out of bed long enough to light a cigarette or pour himself a drink, which wasnât very often.
And Yeonjun definitely didnât give a fuck about sleeping around anymore. He had even had a few of his fuckbuddies come knocking on their front door asking why he wasnât around or why he wasnât responding to their late night texts. A few even questioned if he was dead they were so confused on why he had just fallen off the face of the earth.
But it didnât matter to him, he closed the door in their faces with ease. None of them were attractive to him anymore. None of them excited him anymore. None of them made him feel anything anymore. Because none of them were you.
His behavior was beginning to concern his brothers, so much so that they were beginning to think he was facing some sort of rejection from refusing to be anywhere near you. But truthfully he wasnât. At least, he didnât think he was.
He just felt like the flame that kept his hot head floating went out. He was tired and over dealing with any and everything if it didnât pertain to you.
Yeonjun thought maybe heâd feel a little better once the pupâs birthday came around. They usually celebrated by ordering his favorite foods and playing games together.
But instead, he was informed earlier in the day that Kai had already planned on going to some party one of his classmates invited him to.
So there he laid in bed, staring at the giant digital 11:55 PM on his alarm clock, waiting for his exhausted brain to finally let him sleep while all he could think about was you.
He laid there waiting for the subtle closure of his eyelids hoping you were okay. And that your classmates would finally start to leave you alone. He hoped you enjoyed visiting your home country. And that you ate lots of yummy food and were keeping yourself healthy.
He wondered if his brain would let him visualize your beautiful figure and get to see your glowing smile again in his sleep. If heâd finally get to hallucinate actually getting to hold your hand or getting to feel how soft your hair really is when he would imagine tucking it behind your ear.
Soon, as he felt the familiar heavy weight take over his sight, he began to fantasize that he was hearing your soothing voice ringing through his ears once more.
But just as he had begun to finally close his eyes, just as his mind had finally started to shut off so that he could rest and hopefully be with you again at least during his slumber, his phone began to light up and buzz on his bedside table. Someone was calling him.
He was about to just say fuck it and let it go to voicemail. But something inside him told him to answer it, that the call could be important.
So begrudgingly, Yeonjun propped himself up to grab his phone to see who it was, and low and behold Huening Kaiâs goofy contact photo popped up on his screen.
Why in the ever loving fuck was Hyuka calling him so late? Shouldnât he have been out at some party?
He swiped right to unlock his phone and answer the call, âHuening itâs almost fucking midnight what in the hell could you possibly be calling me for?â The older boy groaned in Korean, his voice no doubt sleepy and dazed sounding.
âI-Iâm sorry! I-I didnât want to wake you!,â a feminine voice told him in English, a British accent slipping through as she stuttered in a panic, âThis i-is Yeonjun right?â
His eyebrow lifted in confusion. Why had some random girl answered his phone? Why was she calling him so late? Where was Hyuka? And why did the girlâs voice sound so⊠familiar?
âYeah, this is Yeonjun,â He automatically replied in English, not knowing if the person on the other end even spoke his native language or not at that point, âWhoâs this? Why are you calling me from Hueningâs phone?â
He heard the person clear her throat through, what he knew from experience to be, club like music before speaking again, âIâm sorry to bother you, but I wasnât sure what else to do,â The girl apologized, âKaiâs very very drunk right now-â Yeonjun carefully tried to listen to the pretty sounding voice, wanting to be sure his tired brain didnât mix any of its English words up, âHe called me to help him get home. But I donât have his address. Iâd take him back to mine but the dorms donât let us bring back opposite genders at night.â
He knew he knew your name. He was positive he had heard your voice before. It was on the tip of his tongueâŠ
But before he could mentally guess anymore, another very familiar voice began speaking loudly in the background, âNoona wait! Is that- is it- Hi Yeonjun-ah!!â He heard Hyuka giggle as the girl begged him politely yet patiently to be quiet so she could speak.
âIâm sorry but Kai told me to call you because the others were busy?â
âYes noona! Very verrry busy!â Huening laughed.
Based on his tone of voice, Yeonjun figured he mustâve been drunk off his ass. Which was worrying for two reasons.
One, the pup was a light weight who was naive as fuck when he was sober. The wrong person getting near him meant he was easy to take advantage of.
And two, it meant he wasnât in control of his emotions. And that meant he could end up dissolving his contacts or shifting, at any given minute, and end up blowing their secret to a room full of random people.
âRight- yes busy. Anyways if you could just give me your address so I could bring him home I would really appreciate i-â but Yeonjun cut you off, knowing full well what was gonna have to happen.
âDonât worry about it. Just watch him please. And send me the address. Iâll be there soon.â And with that, the older boy regretfully threw his blanket off of him, sat up, and threw his leather jacket over his tank top and some sweats over his boxers to head to the bathroom to put his contacts in. It was gonna end up being one hell of a night.
ââââ
When Yeonjun got to the gathering of young people, his nose was immediately hit with the smell of partygoer sweat and bad weed. He used to welcome the unsavory odor. But since he met you, he learned it did nothing but give him a headache.
Walking into a less than ideal place hadnât even been the worst part of his night that far. He also had to wake Soobin up to get his car keys. Hyuka felt like throwing up when he went for a ride on Yeonjunâs motorcycle when he wasnât piss drunk. On top of that little lovely fact, the elder boy had recently gotten it detailed and he absolutely was not gonna risk his baby brother ruining it. Even if it was his birthday.
He probably wouldâve more than likely fallen off of it anyways given the fact that the pup had probably drank so much he couldnât hold his head up straight and had to have some random girl use his phone to call him for him.
So he had to unfortunately wake up the alpha to ask him if he could take his safer care. A car Yeonjun wouldnât normally have been caught dead in because of the mom vibes it gave off.
Yeonjun was also still a little ticked off that Kai had told whoever it was that called him that he was the only one available to help when all three of his other brothers were at home. Two of which were still actually awake.
Not to mention he was ripped from his bed just as he was finally falling asleep and beginning to have a dream that involved you. So Yeonjun didnât care if it was Hueningâs birthday, he was gonna have to owe him big time for the nightâs turn of events.
He managed to squeeze through the front door and did his best to zero in on the pupâs scent. He quickly figured out however, that that task would be nearly impossible. There was too much going on around him and he was far too out of it himself to be able to use his super powered nose properly. His other senses however, seemed to be in overdrive.
And it certainly didnât help that he could also hear everything within the house. He could hear a guy down the hallway get rejected by a less than interested girl. Not that the guy was taking the hint in any sort of way.
Yeonjun soon found himself wondering if you would do the same to him if he had been able to ask you out. But then he realized he was being ridiculous. Of course you wouldnât do that. You were too nice a person to try to blow off anyone asking you for a date.
He could hear all the best friends fighting outside about who was betraying who and why. He found one girlâs argument so compelling that he almost felt the need to take her side on the childish matter. Her voice was cracking and Yeonjun just knew that she mustâve been on the brink of tears.
He wondered if you would argue like her, if fighting with other people would overwhelm and upset you so much that youâd cry publicly to prove a point. Which he soon remembered was a dumb thought to have. You would never be in the position to argue with someone to begin with.
You didnât like attention and, according to Huening, you werenât someone who would fight with your friends. You were more someone who would fight for your friends.
He could hear all the people hooking up in the most public and odd places. Not that Yeonjun could say much, he used to do the same thing before he met you. He had actually had fun doing similar antics with random girls he would meet at parties. He liked the thrill of potentially getting heard or even caught by someone else.
But he knew that, even if he was willing to look through the mortal danger he could end up putting you in, and even if he was willing to have sex with someone he cared for as much as he did you somewhere that could end up getting you caught and getting your scholarship revoked, chances of someone as shy and as anxious as you would never agree to doing something so daring. He wouldnât have minded though.
At least he would have had the opportunity to be with you at all in the make believe realm the sounds around him constructed in his mind.
All the pining and internal pain he was feeling from his brain somehow finding a way to put you into his every thought on the situations around him was making him feel sick to his stomach.
Yeonjun wanted to go home and go to sleep already, at least he could dream about being with you. But no, he just had to come search for his alcohol intolerant little brother.
Though just as the older boy was about to cut his losses and call it a night, figuring Hyuka would just have to wait for his fast metabolism to kick in and burn the alcohol out of his system to get home as a consequence of getting fucked up, he caught a whiff of an all too familiar yet enchanting aroma.
His heart sunk instantly in his chest and a whine instantly found its way out of his lips, much to the confusion of other party guests around him. What were you of all people doing at a college frat party?
You volunteered at the library because you thought it was a fun place to be. You tutored other students in your spare time because you wanted everyone to succeed. You were a straight A student on the deanâs list for heavenâs sake. You were too good and too innocent a person to be getting fucked up at a party.
Were you drinking? He didnât feel any different than he normally did. Which meant you probably werenât too drunk⊠right? Surely you wouldnât have accepted a drink from a stranger. You wouldâve known the dangers and the scary intentions behind the gestureâŠright? The thought of what couldâve happened to you if you were naive enough to take a drink from someone made his stomach crawl.
Had you come to the party alone? Were you meeting someone at the party? Were you seeing someone at the party? Is that why you came?
The imprinting bond wasnât as strong for you, if you even felt it at all given the current state of his relationship with you. Meaning you were still able to date other people and feel something, unlike Yeonjun who now found no pleasure in other peoples company because he had imprinted on you. God he hoped you werenât there to hook up with some guy.
He didnât know what to think. A million questions ran through his mind at once, but two kept making themselves more prominent: were you alright? Were you being safe? Yeonjun had to know.
So against his better judgment, he started following your scent rather than looking for his brother. Which ended up working for the better anyways as he was sitting on the couch in front of you, lightly giggling as you kept asking him to take small sips of water.
And thatâs when everything clicked. A huge weight felt like it had lifted itself from his shoulders. You were the voice on the phone earlier.
Huening mustâve called you to come and help him because he trusted you and knew youâd come. Yeonjun just hadnât heard you speak English before. Because when you introduced when you first met, you introduced yourself to him in Korean to make him more comfortable because you were a better person than he was.
You werenât at the party getting wasted or getting it on with some random guy. You were at the party making sure his little brother was safe and well taken care of until he could be picked up.
He could hear you lightly giggling at Huening letting some of the water you were helping him drink fall down his chin. And he swore he would sell his soul if it meant being able to hear your beautiful laugh everyday for the rest of his life.
Yeonjun felt like he was on cloud nine. It was the first time he had been so close to you in what felt like forever and there you were being your usual loving and thoughtful self.
He felt such a rush of energy, in fact, that he hadnât even noticed he had started walking to get closer to you until he noticed a girl come over and hand your shyly smiling form another bottle of water.
But not just any girl. It was a girl Yeonjun knew. She was a mate. He instantly recognized her as Cherry, Seungcheolâs, Beomgyuâs brotherâs, mate. And she had ruffled Kaiâs hair and left just as quickly as she had come over to hand you the water.
âYeonjun-ah!â Huening squealed, making grabby hands at his older brother with a happy, albeit red, face, an action that had you turning around to look at him in return.
It was his first time being directly in front of you since the day Huening tried to introduce the two of you. He had thought that youâd hold a grudge at him for the whole situation. He thought maybe youâd hate him or call him names. Maybe even refuse to speak back to him or be blunt.
But the only emotion he saw from you was the light in your eyes going out as they widened in horror, mere moments before you dropped your grin and tilted your head down in what looked to be shame.
Yeonjun felt a knot twist in his chest. He knew you likely wouldnât be happy to see him again, and he was prepared to deal with any angry or agitated remarks that youâd throw his way.
Though you didnât end up being angry or agitated with him. You werenât annoyed or holding a grudge. You didnât pretend he didnât exist or run away so you wouldnât have to deal with him.
Seeing him made you feel sad. And that hurt him more than any words you could or any actions you could commit against him.
But you didnât know that nor did he want to tell you that and make everything worse. So he nudged all the extra sweaty bodies away from him so that he could stand near you and his brother.
âHi Ningning.â
ââââ
You had just managed to get another sip of water in Kaiâs mouth when you saw him. You knew he was coming, he had told you very aggravatingly over the phone that he would be coming to get your student from the party he had called you to so that you could help him.
And that was your original intent. You had received a call sometime after 11:00pm from your friend saying that he was drunk and needed help getting home.
Without question you put on the outfit you had already had laid out for the next dayâs classes, grabbed your keys, and sprung into action.
You didnât want anything to happen to him. You knew he was very shy and quiet normally. You didnât know what drinking a bunch of alcohol in a room full of strangers would do to him. But you knew what they could do to him. And you werenât going to let it happen. Not if you could help it.
But when you got there, you had very quickly realized that you had no way of getting him home. He was too drunk to be able to remember his address.
He had no real friends around him at the time that knew where he lived either. And you had never been to his house before because you had always met up at school or at food places to celebrate good test scores.
You wouldâve just taken him back to your dorm rooms if there wasnât a rule in place about opposite sexes not being allowed in the rooms after a certain hour. Sure some of your fellow classmates snuck boys into the girls dormitories all the time. But you certainly werenât one of them.
Doing such a thing was against the rules and you were an avid rule follower. And if your moral compass wasnât enough to deter you, the clause in your international student contract that stated you could lose your scholarships if you were caught with a boy in your room while on campus was.
But even if you were truly able to get over all the internal alarm bells in your head that told you under no circumstances could you do such a thing for your friend, you had no idea how you would even do it.
He was so drunk he couldnât stand straight. He was giggling and laughing and on the verge of vomiting every other second. He was worse off than your kaka was when you and your baba had to drive to get him and bring him home for the weekend during his first week at university. There was no way you could easily and quietly sneak him in your dorm without the entire building finding out.
So that left you with one last choice: phoning a friend. And, since you knew none of the people who did actually associate themselves with you knew where he lived either, you had to resort to phoning one of his friends.
You just werenât sure which one. You figured you could try Soobin or maybe even Taehyun since they both lived with him and were friends with him, you werenât even gonna consider Beomgyu because theyâd both end up needing help in the end anyways, but Kai insisted they couldnât help because they were busy.
In fact, when you listed off other people in his small contact list on his phone, he said most of them were. The only one that wasnât just so happened to be Choi Yeonjun, the guy that hated you for just breathing.
And while you hated that youâd end up embarrassing yourself talking to him again from sheer nerves alone, you also knew that Kai should be at home in his bed sleeping the alcohol off so he didnât get himself hurt.
Which is why you pushed down any embarrassment or anxiousness you may felt and ended up calling the popular boy to begin with. Which you could tell he definitely wasnât happy with given his oh so loving âwhat the fuck do you wantâ attitude over the phone.
Which of course made you frazzled and panicked, even though you logically knew he was probably only saying such things because it was so late and he thought his friend was calling him.
So you resorted to speaking English to him over the phone, not thinking that he may not even be able to understand your accent or know the English language at all.
He seemed to understand, at least enough, because he was presently sat in front of you, chastising the younger boy for getting so drunk.
âHyung, thatâs not fair!!â A very child like Kai crossed his arms loosely over his chest, âItâs my birthday. Iâm allowed to do what I want to do and no one should be able to stop me.â
While the small smile that had managed to find its way back to your face again at the boyâs cute antics did help you feel a little less uneasy over the situation, you still felt a range of emotions, almost all negative, that you werenât sure how to handle.
You felt bad for your friend and for not being able to do more by yourself to help him. You felt ashamed for having to call Yeonjun, someone who quite literally hated your very existence for some unknown reason, to come and get him in the dead of night.
You felt guilty for having probably woken the older boy up from his sleep and for forcing him to speak with you when he clearly didnât want to.
But mostly, you felt like you wanted to curl up in a ball in your room to cry again. You werenât even sure why. You werenât good at pin pointing your emotions, you just knew the way the elder boy acted felt like he shoved a knife through your chest. And, though it had been a little over a month since your last and only real interaction with him, the meeting had been replaying over and over at the front of your brain nearly every minute of the day since.
âJust because itâs your birthday doesnât give you the right to inconvenience people Ningning.â Yeonjun rolled his eyes and grabbed Kaiâs face, making him drunkenly follow his finger to see how far gone he was before letting his chin go and thumping him a little too hard on his head in annoyance.
Not that your friend seemed hurt by it anyways, it didnât seem to phase him at all really. He actually found it funny and stuck his tongue out at him in defiance.
As the two went back and forth about who was wronged and who wasnât, you somehow found the courage to move your gaze from your fingers to the party boyâs face.
How could somebody with such delicate features, no doubt handpicked by god himself, be so terrifyingly intimidating? Why did you have to think he was attractive? Why did he have to hate you? Why did life always seem to throw things your way it knows you have no way of getting through by yoursel-
Your thoughts were swiftly interrupted by the pretty boy, whoâs piercing stare went from looking at his friend angrily to staring at you with⊠a look you couldnât quite place as he spoke again, âYeah well iâm sure ____ wasnât too happy about having to drop everything to come help you either.â
Your eyes widened, not wanting to upset either of the two boys as Kai was trying to sober up enough to walk through the crowd of people blocking your way to the exit without having to be fully carried out.
He had said your name. He remembered your name. You had always hated your name. Back home, everyone acted as if it was too foreign to pronounce. It always sounded like they were pronouncing it with razor blades stuck to the roof of their mouths. But it was the first time you had heard it come out of his mouth and it flowed so smoothly and so melodiously that you wanted it to be the only thing he said ever again.
âN-No!â You stuttered rather quietly for someone trying to have a conversation at a frat party, yet still managing to bring both their attentions straight to you, âI-I mean, I didnât really- Itâs not that I umâŠâ
You noticed that, while Yeonjun had started to look at you with some much earned confusion, your friend began festering a devilish look in his eye and a mischievous smile.
You hadnât told Kai what you had thought of his roommate, and you didnât plan to. But part of you had begun to think that he may have caught on somehow.
And another part of you had begun to wonder whether or not your current meeting with Yeonjun had been part of some plan to get you to speak to each other again considering it was all he had been talking about the last few weeks.
âI-I didnât have to drop much to come,â you finally managed to get out, âI w-was just at my dorm. And Kaiâs my friend. I-I didnât want anything to happen to him.â
The two men in front of you dropped any previous faces they had. At first you start to think that perhaps they were getting thrown on by your stress induced stutter you had worked so hard over the years to cover.
But as time went on and no one said anything, you realized the reason they went silent was because they hadnât been expecting such a sincere reply from you.
Though how were you supposed to know what they wanted you to say or how they wanted you to act? It wasnât as if situations such as the one you found yourself in were common for you. You hadnât ever even been to a college party before Kai called you asking for help.
You didn't drink or smoke, the smell of alcohol made you physically nauseous and you steered clear of cigarettes because you had asthma. You didnât party, you were always taught that education was more important and should always take priority. And you definitely didnât have friends to joke around with. So you didnât have a frame of reference on how to properly reply to people.
âHey Huening? You feeling any better? Or am I gonna have to carry you back to that god awful Kia Carnival?â Yeonjun joked, clearly only wanting to lighten the mood.
But your face started to heat up and you dropped your head down slightly, trying to help your very unstable friend stand so that he could get to his vehicle.
âUh Hyung,â Kai slurred, finally getting to his feet as the older boy dove to put his arm over his shoulder so he could walk with support to keep him from falling flat on his face, âThatâs not a very nice thing to say about ____âs car hyung.â
Your eyes widened, but you kept them straight as you stayed on his opposite side so he could safely move through the crowd of people without falling.
You shouldnât have been surprised. You already subconsciously figured someone like Yeonjun would never agree with the way you lived your beige lifestyle.
Your schedule was as predictable as your responses. Your grades were as perfect as your attendance and your cookie cutter wardrobe. So it only made sense that your car was as bland as the rest of your life choices to him.
Someone like Choi Yeonjun lived life on the edge. He drank and smoked and partied. He never attended his classes or cared much about his grades. He drove a cool motorcycle and wore leather. He lived a fast paced lifestyle that you just⊠didnât.
Part of you wished you could. That you could throw all your ambitions and scary thoughts to the back of your head and live a hectic lifestyle. But that wasnât your life. You were bland and boring by most peopleâs standards. And so was your car apparently.
But it was a car you felt you could drive in a foreign country with little to no worry about your safety. It made you feel comfortable and thatâs all that mattered to you. So you truly didnât regret purchasing it.
It was just a little embarrassing that someone so popular and wild decided to say such a thing about it out loud though.
Yeonjun scoffed at him in return, âHuening I know youâre drunk off your ass right now, but letâs try not to put words in my mouth. I was talking about Soobinâs ugly car.â
â____ has a Kia Carnival.â Your friend defended you, even though you just secretly wished you wouldâve been swallowed whole by the dancefloor you were walking on.
You hadnât planned on saying anything. You were actually internally praying Kai wouldnât either. But you shouldâve known better.
He was drunk and said what he was thinking out loud when he was sober already. Of course heâd still do the same while he was so drunk he couldnât walk straight. And of course it would be you of all people heâd defend out loud to his friend who he thought was making a personal dig at you.
Out of the corner of your eye, you could vaguely make out Yeonjunâs own fox eyes becoming bigger in surprise to Kaiâs response.
âOh shit- Wait! I didnât mean to say shit I mean I- Iâm sorry ____!â Yeonjun swiftly let out, saying your name in a way that made your stomach do backflips, âI- I didnât mean it in a bad way!â He insisted, nearly dropping his roommate in an attempt to get his point across to you by facing you, something that confused you greatly.
His tone sounded almost⊠apologetic. What was he sorry for? Why would he care if he offended you or not when he hated you?
The popular boy didnât even care enough to give you basic human decency the last time you had met. So why did he seem so startled at the realization that he couldâve potentially hurt your feelings by making fun of the model of your car?
All you could think to do was shake your head to hide your blush, âD-Donât worry about it. I hear stuff like that all the time from the students I-I tutor all the time.â
Then once more from your peripheral vision, you could have sworn you saw Yeonjunâs face fall into an emotion you could only place as guilt.
Part of you wanted to ask if he was okay. Part of you also wanted to ask what was wrong with him. But you didnât. You figured it wasnât your place. You were a stranger to him after all.
Instead, you helped walk Kai back to his car with his friend, the only sound being made by anyone coming from the younger boyâs mouth.
Warnings: violence (fight scene where YJ kinda loses it tbh), mentions of- death, drinking, smoking, sleeping around (but itâs all consensual so i donât see a problem with it. But i know some people do so TW ig), name calling (but they donât actually mean it and none of them think they do, theyâre loving nicknames), crying, pining/angsty love, blood, another packâs fight, Yeonjun being dumb basically poor baby
Authorâs Note: So Yeonjun will have either three or four parts depending on how much i can cut it all down.
Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! Theyâre just for fun/entertainment!
There Will Be Blood Masterlist
The Smart One: Part One, Part Three, Part Four
đ„
Bold- Dialogue Italics- Thoughts
Tag list-
Once he found out he could get quite literally no one else to pick him up, Yeonjunâs original plan was to just stay by his bike and text Huening he was in the parking lot when it was time for him to take him home. He originally had no plans of going inside the library. He knew he couldnât, for your sake he just couldnât.
But before Yeonjunâs brain could stop them, his legs threw themselves over the seat of his motorcycle and made their way through the libraryâs double doors.
He knew immediately it was a bad idea. For every quickening beat of his heart he felt, he felt more dread and guilt slip into his body. But he knew the pup had already seen his figure in the building when he lifted his head up from his book to see who had walked through the door, a maneuver in which you followed suit. He knew it would be suspicious if he just back tracked and bolted through the entrance, so Yeonjun had to play it off like nothing bothered him.
He promised himself he would not get any closer to you than he already was. He promised himself he wouldnât speak to you to prevent himself from getting attached, he knew it would make staying away from you in the future ten times harder. But of course his baby brother had other plans.
Kai hurriedly shoved all his things into his book bag, threw it over his shoulder, grabbed your unprepared delicate hand much to your confusion, and rushed to where Yeonjun was standing with you stumbling behind him in an attempt to keep up.
The elder boy panicked internally. How was he going to play it cool when youâd soon be standing in front of him close enough to overwhelm him? How was he supposed to remain calm and collected when your sweet scent got heavier in his nose the more you moved towards him? How the hell could he hold a conversation with you when all he wanted to do was get lost in your warm sparkling eyes-
âHyung!â Huening choked out, finally getting to the doorway Yeonjun had moments ago found himself prancing through, âBefore we go, I wanted you to meet ____! Youâre the only one of the guys that havenât met her yet.â
The pup proudly pulled you forward and presented you to Yeonjun as if you were a prize he had worked incredibly hard to win at a fair, a prize the eldest wanted nothing more than to take home himself. The act made a hot blush appear across your face and had you playing with the hem of your pleated skirt nervously.
It was in that moment Yeonjun knew, he was totally totally unequivocally 100% royally fucked.
ââââ
From the second you had seen him earlier in the day, your stomach instantly developed butterflies. Because of course your favorite tutoring student just happened to have the prettiest man on earth for his best friend. And of course your sweetly extroverted new friend wanted to introduce you to him at the end of your session given that you had seemingly met all his other friends already. So to say you were anxious was a bit of an understatement.
It wasn't that you didnât know how to speak to people, you had learned how to have appropriate conversations with people outside your family a long time ago and had gotten pretty good at it. At least, you would say you were good at it.
But that didnât mean socializing was something you did regularly, let alone with people who were practically sculpted by the gods themselves.
Sure you had some acquaintances youâd grown fond of during your stay in Korea for university. And sure a lot of people you spent the majority of your time around, regardless of if they liked you as a person or not, usually respected and admired you for your intelligence and dedication.
But youâd never felt genuinely attracted to someone before. At least you were pretty sure you hadnât, though you werenât 100% positive. You werenât always the best at understanding your own feelings, much to your own dismay.
You just knew the fluttering feeling in your abdomen was definitely new and that the second you made eye contact with the boy it felt like your breathing hitched in your chest, neither of which you had experienced before.
And from your understanding of modern literature, those were ways some of your favorite authors would personify feelings when one of their characters was rather taken with someone.
So you were walking into new territory. Usually youâd attempt to introduce yourself and shake his hand because youâd learned that was the societal norm. Though the manâs sharp facial features and piercing eyes had your heart racing too fast to go through the motions youâd gone through in countless therapy sessions to be able to do relatively comfortably.
Luckily for you, your student got the hint that neither of you were planning on saying anything and started the conversation for you, âSo hyung, this is ____. And ____ this is Yeonjun-ah. Heâs one of my roommates,â the younger boy led, hoping to get one of you to say something.
Thatâs when it all clicked in your head. The dark and leathery clothes, the rather pointy accessories on his person, the motorcycle helmet, the gorgeous appearance that was enough to humble any everyday regular person.
He was Yeonjun, as in the Choi Yeonjun. Truthfully you shouldâve put two and two together when you had first seen him earlier in the day. But it wouldâve never occurred to you that adorable little Huening Kaiâs oldest hyung was your universityâs notorious âbad boy.â
You didnât get out much other than to the library or to your classes, two places the popular boy normally wouldnât be caught dead in, so naturally you had never actually met him face to face before. But you just because you had never met him before doesnât mean you hadnât heard of him before.
You had first been told about the boy in front of you before by your eager student. Heâd personally called him his ârough around the edges but loving hyung whoâd do anything for him and his friends at the turn of a dime.â
But the more recent rumors youâd heard around campus about him told a completely different story. So much so that you werenât even sure how they could be friends, the two seemed like polar opposites to you.
Where Kai was rather shy and reserved around people he didnât know and took time to warm up to others, Choi Yeonjun was blunt, always spoke his mind, and was considered by many to be the life of the party. Where the younger boy was inexperienced with the world and loving, the elder boy was experienced with⊠many things and was known to be quite distant emotionally from his peers.
Yeonjun was infamous around campus as being the guy who gets⊠intimate with anyone he wanted to, never having had a real or steady relationship. Kai was infamous around campus as the boy who everyone was assuming never had relations with anyone/had a girlfriend before.
The boy in front of you had a thing for getting overtly intoxicated at parties and getting into trouble with the wrong end of the law. The boy to your side had hardly been to any parties, never really drank alcohol, and probably didnât even know what a rap sheet was.
As far as you knew, the only real thing the two had in common was that they both struggled in school, though Huening Kai was the only one who seemed to actively want to change his situation, hence why he sought after you for tutoring.
âI know who she is.â The boy, Yeonjun apparently though it felt incredibly uncomfortable and far too intimate to be calling him by his real name, monotonously cut through the silence, no emotion to be seen on his face as the words left his plump lips.
It was true that most people around your university knew who you were. There werenât many people like you in South Korea at all, let alone going to your school. British-Kenyan students werenât as easy to find as Chinese, Vietnamese, or American ones. At least, you couldnât name another student of your background off the top of your head.
Sure he couldâve maybe known you as the girl who was set to graduate number one in her class, though you doubted someone like Choi Yeonjun cared too much about class ranking.
He couldâve also known you as the girl who tutored a sizeable portion of the student population but, as he had never sought out a tutor at your university for himself, you didnât think he wouldâve known about you that way either.
It was likely he knew you as the African girl. Otherwise known as the girl who got bullied by the more popular studentâs for her thick accents and her darker skin color on the daily. The girl who never spoke unless she was spoken to and never raised her nose from her books. The girl that disliked being around people, was rather quite awkward with them, and had not managed to make more than one friend in the entire time she had been a student in Korea. Yes, him knowing of you that way wouldâve made more sense.
And, while you had gotten rather good at reading social cues over your years of having to deal with the general public, you knew you still had times where you couldnât read between the lines. But this time, the tension seemed so thick even you were able to swiftly pick up on the boyâs negative attitude and apathy towards having to speak to you.
His arms crossed over his broad chest indicated he was closed off and non-reciprocating. His tapping foot meant he was either in a hurry or wanted to be done with the conversation. His flat vocal tone said he either hated you or was over having to deal with you. And his lifted brow meant that he was probably fairly annoyed with you and/or Kai for having taken up his time.
All those small facts seemed to make the nerves in your body strike at your heart. The only guy you ever found remotely interesting romantically, even if it was only the untouchable and unattainable Choi Yeonjun, and he hated you without having ever even spoken to you before. How delightful.
But you werenât gonna let that deter you. Kai was much like you in that he didnât have many friends. But the friends he did have were important to him, thatâs why he wanted to introduce you to all of them. And you werenât one to let your student, or your friend, down.
So you decided to power through as best as you could, âItâs very nice to meet you Yeonjun. Huening Kai talks about his friends a lot, so itâs nice to finally be able to put a face to your name!â You replied with a kind smile in perfect Korean, extending your hand to him intending for him to do the same and hoping he wouldnât notice the slight shake of your extremity.
Though your polite gesture was unreciprocated, the boy in front of you leaving your hand hanging through the air as his gaze bypassed you and went to the younger boy beside you.
âAre you ready to go yet Hyuka? We really need to get going,â Yeonjun cold heartedly questioned his friend, jaw clenched as he awaited an answer.
Even though you could see the shock in Kaiâs eyes from such an unexpected answer from the elder boy to your formal action, he hurriedly pulled his composure together and nodded, you assumed to keep you from having to deal with his emotionally distant friend any longer.
âY-Yeah! We can go,â Your student turned in his heels to give you a hug and say goodbye, âThanks again ____. Same time tomorrow?â
Nodding fiercely, you tried your best to put up a brave front as you patted his back and tried to keep the pains in your chest from being outwardly visible in your expressions, âOf course! Text me if you end up having trouble with the problems I gave you to work on okay?â
You didnât want him to feel bad about the interaction you had with his roommate. Kai was a sweet, albeit easily distractible, kid. He just wanted everyone important to him to get along or at least be able to civilly interact with one another when needed, it was one of the reasons you got along so much. Having parents that bitterly divorced, you never wanted conflict around you either. In your eyes, he was as close to a true friend as you had made during your time in Korea.
That was because Kai wasnât judgmental or rude. He wasnât intentionally cruel. He, like you, was a constant target for bullying and ridicule because he was considered a foreigner in the eyes of Koreans even though unlike you he actually spent the majority of his life growing up in Korea. You had bonded a lot because of that.
You had grown so fond of him that now, the idea of something upsetting him, like his friends not getting along, stung your heart almost as much as Yeonjun ignoring you did. So you wanted to assure him everything was fine with you, even if it currently felt like you had a gaping hole in your chest.
With one last little wave and a nape of his shirt collar grab from his friend, your student was off and you were left alone with your thoughts. Usually you wouldnât mind, you had actually preferred to be alone.
That night though, you felt as if you needed to go home and sob into your pillow at the sudden unexpected rejection you felt from a total stranger. So, in order to prevent your nervous system from having a full on meltdown, thatâs exactly what you did.
Why couldnât you just be normal? Why couldnât you just shake something like a simple introduction gone wrong off like everyone else without feeling so overwhelmed? Why in the world had you been cursed with the in ability to regulate your emotions properly? What god or deity had decided something needed to be different about you?
As you laid curled in a small ball surrounded by your blankets and pillows you fashioned into a make shift security nest and tried your best to calm down. You thought about just how disadvantaged you felt. About how different your life couldâve been had you been born the same as everyone else around you had been.
But most importantly, that night you couldnât stop questioning what exactly had you done to make someone hate you so much without having ever even met him in person before.
ââââ
âWhat the hell hyung?!â Huening demanded as soon as they walked through the door of their shared apartment, his bag being thrown somewhere across the room in anger because he sensed none of his other brothers had made their way home yet to yell at him for it.
Yeonjun found himself plopping down on the living room couch with a defeated sigh, âWhat the hell was what Ningning?â
The eldest boy knew exactly what the pup was referring to. He just didnât have it in him to discuss the matter any further if he could help it.
Yeonjun knew he was unnecessarily mean to you today and he hated himself more than anyone could ever possibly know for it. Because the reality of the matter was that the promise he made to himself and, inadvertently you as well, was already hard as fuck to keep.
Because it was hard walking away from you today. The second he saw you, it felt like time stood still and his heart stopped beating all over again. Like once again he just wanted to go up to you, spin you around, and kiss away the space between your lips.
He wanted to stay and speak to you about your day, maybe even tease you on why you got so nervous when he first walked in the room and watch you get all cutely blushy all over again.
It was also hard to finally get a closer look at your lightly freckled face and your, what he once thought were curls but were actually, twisted locs and not be able to compliment you on how gorgeous you were.
But it was even harder pretending he wanted nothing to do with you, especially once he saw the light in your eyes drain away when he ignored your hand. He hated himself for it. And, while there were many times in his life where he wished he had never gotten the wolf gene passed down to him, he had never hated being a werewolf more than he did in that moment.
Huening growled at his elder brother unintentionally, clenching his fists in anger, âDonât âwhat the hell was what Ningning?â Me! Why were you being a dick to ____? What in the hell did she ever do to you hyung?!â
âNothing,â Yeonjun answered, seeming as cool as a cucumber on the outside but slowly feeling his heart break on the inside.
That was the only answer the eldest in the pack could come up with. Anything else wouldâve been suspicious. Anything else wouldâve gave it away. And giving it away could put you in harms way, which was something he could never live with.
The pup stomped to stand in front of him, eyes spotting crimson red as more rage filled his body, âWhat the hell do you mean nothing?!â He questioned, quickly leaning over Yeonjunâs frame over the couch to get him to look at him face to face, âYouâre telling me you were a jackass to one of the only friends i managed to make outside of the pack for no good fucking reason?!â
Yeonjun had never seen the younger boy so mad before. Truthfully, Kai usually just put up with whatever it was his older brothers did and didnât complain.
He always had a smile on his face and laughed it away. He was someone that the whole pack had come to know as a âsuffer and cry alone in silenceâ type of person. So his sudden manic like behavior did freak him out slightly.
Because the elder boy wasnât sure he had ever heard the pup even raise his voice to someone else before. But now, Yeonjun had gotten him so mad he was screaming in his face, eyes blood red, nearly shifting in their living room.
He figured that Huening felt the need to defend you as you were the one friend he made on his own whose feelings got hurt because he introduced you to his asshole of a brother. He couldnât blame him though, he wanted to rip his own heart out for doing it to you too.
But what could he do? He was trying to keep you safe and protect you in the only way he knew how, just as the pup was trying to protect you and defend you in the present.
Even so, his younger brother getting into his face in a threatening manner over you sent his instincts flying, immediately making him feel as though he needed to put him in his place for coming to your aide.
âHyuka, I know you canât understand this with your little pea sized brain, but believe it or not I was doing her a favor!â Yeonjun snarled, jumping up from his place on the couch and forcing Huening to stumble backwards slightly to cope with the sudden loss of dominance over the situation.
But instead of the young wolf backing down as Yeonjun had expected and hoped, he went right back to getting into his face, forcing their foreheads to nearly touch as he too began to snarl, âWhat fucking favor do you think you were doing for her?! The only thing you did was make sure she went home and cried!â
The thought alone sent a rush of pain to his chest that the eldest had never felt before. Seeing you get discouraged mid conversation because of his own actions was one thing. But the mere thought of you going back to your home and crying because of him made him want to get back on his bike and drive into the nearest concrete wall.
âShut up Huening!â Yeonjun could feel his eyes get hotter, signaling that he was worked up enough to also melt through his contacts and begin shifting his eye color in anger.
It wasnât Huening Kaiâs place to say what upset you. It wasnât his place to speak for you. And it sure as shit wasnât his place to make Yeonjun feel bad about trying to protect you.
âNo fuck you!â Huening protested, doing his very best to hold off from shifting in their living room as he screamed at his eldest brother, â____âs a good person! Sheâs nothing but kind and fair to everyone regardless of how they treat her! In fact, sheâs the best person I know!-â
Fuck Kai. Of course he knew you were a good person. You were you.
But Kai shouldnât get to make that judgement about you. Not when he couldnât get to know you and find out what youâre actually like for himself. The little asshole didnât get to talk about you like you walked on water. Not when Yeonjun couldnât talk to you at all.
Now it was Yeonjunâs turn to clench his fists with rage, âI said shut the fuck up!â He seethed, getting even closer to his brotherâs face to try and get him to back off.
But the pup wouldnât budge, âNo you shut the fuck up! ____ has issues with people as is! She already has issues making friends and socializing!â The pain in Yeonjunâs chest spread farther and farther the more the pup spoke, âShe already gets bullied! She didnât need you coming in making her think sheâs done something wrong!â
But he didnât know you had issues with people. He never wanted you to feel like that. He never wanted to hurt you. He was just trying to protect you the only way he knew how.
He was just trying to keep himself from getting too eager and getting too close to you. He wouldâve never been able to let you go if he actually had conversations with you. He didnât mean to make you think you did anything wrong.
Yeonjun could see a cloud of tears begin to form at his water line, causing him to close his eyes and clench his jaw so hard he thought he was gonna shatter his teeth, âYou have no idea what youâre talking about.â
You didnât do anything wrong. He did. But he just wanted you safe.
Safe from him and his pack. Safe from all the things that came with being attached to them. Safe from all the dangers he knew him being in your life would cause you. He didnât know you were getting bullied.
âThe hell I donât!â Hyuka exclaimed, feeling his claws begin to elongate but refusing to care, âI know her better than you! I know her better than anyone here! You donât know her at all!â
Yeonjun wanted to throw up because he knew he was right. As much as he wanted him to be wrong he knew Huening was right. He didnât know you. He couldnât know you.
âAnd I know what she goes through on a daily basis and how hard her fucking life is! I know that she feels completely and utterly alone!â Kai snarled.
Yeonjun didnât care if it meant heâd have to spend the rest of his life alone as long as it meant youâd have a chance at finding happiness with someone.
He didnât care if it meant heâd never feel whole or loved as long as it meant youâd get to live a whole life with someone else who could love you in a way you deserved to be loved.
He didnât care if he ended up dying from his self induced rejection of you as his mate as long as it meant protecting you. He didnât care about any of it hurting him or what it might all do to him. All he cared about was you.
âKai stop.â The elder boy warned, his younger brotherâs words piercing into his chest like a knife through butter over and over again.
All he cared about was that youâd get to be happy. That youâd get to have a normal human life. That youâd get to be healthy and unharmed. That youâd get to keep breathing. He didnât know your life was hard. He didnât know you felt alone in Korea.
Hearing his brotherâs warning only seemed to urge him on, âPeople are awful to her here! They bully her even worse than they bully me!â
Yeonjun couldnât imagine how bad your life mustâve been in Korea if people went after you worse than they did Kai.
They would call him every name they could think of. They would purposely exclude him and keep him out of things. They would throw things at him and mock him. People had even tried to attack him before.
âDo you know how many times a day she wishes she could just disappear into thin air?â Huening quizzed.
But it all ended up okay for him. He was fast enough to run away and strong enough to take any objects being thrown at him or beating they tried to unleash on him because he was a wolf.
You couldnât outrun people the way Kai could or take the abuses they threw at you the way he did. You were just human.
âDo you know how many times a day she calls her parents crying?
He had his parents in the country. He had his sisters in the country. He had the pack and the other packs theirs had managed to make friends with.
Your family was in another country. You had no friends or support system to get you through anything other than Kai. He was all you had and he knew it. Thatâs why he was fighting Yeonjun the way he was.
You had no one else. You were all alone. And it was partially Yeonjunâs fault.
âDo you know how many times sheâs gotten the hell beat out of her because some fucking students donât think she belongs he-â
But before Huening could finish his rant and rub even more salt in his already gaping wound, Yeonjun socked him in the face, causing him to fall back to the floor in shock.
âDo you think I wanted to do that to her?!â He spit, instantly throwing himself on top of the pup and throwing another punch into his left cheek.
The younger wolf tried to fight back but it was no use, Yeonjun was stronger. And he had lost more that day than Hyuka did. Except he couldnât do a damn thing about it.
âDo you think I wanted to hurt her?!â Yeonjun demanded as he jammed his fist against his brotherâs rib cage, causing him to cry out in pain.
He hated Huening Kai. He hated the words he was saying about you. He hated that he was bringing ugly truths about you he didnât previously know to light. But mostly, he hated himself for it all.
âDo you think that was what I wanted for her?!â
For ignoring you. For not going up to you and hugging your sadness away the second he saw you. For not being able to go and comfort you. For not being able to tell you everything was going to be okay and that you werenât alone. That none of the rest of it mattered because you at least had him.
âIs that what you actually fucking think?!â Yeonjun was so lost in hashing out his feelings with his fists, he didnât even notice when the tears started streaming down his face. Or when the front door opened.
âYou didnât stop to think for one second that maybe I had a valid reason for staying away from her?!â Yeonjun punched Kai up his jaw.
He didnât want to tell anyone. He knew the moment he did theyâd try to change his mind. But his mind couldnât change. It was too dangerous. Just the other day Beomgyuâs brotherâs pack got attacked by another pack and a kid got hurt. He couldnât let that happen to you.
âThat maybe I was thinking of whatâs best for her?!â Yeonjunâs knuckles were sore and raw now, not that he cared when he popped the pup in the eye.
He wasnât gonna tell anyone really. But after Kai kept going on and on about how good you were and how horrible the world around you was he couldnât take it anymore. He snapped.
âSheâs my fucking mate do you really think I wanted to hurt her?! I was protecting her! I was just trying to protect her!â The eldest finally lets out with a choked sob wracking through his body, leaving just enough time for Taehyun to wrap his arms around his biceps and dive with him off the pup to the floor.
From the corner of his eye, Yeonjun could see Soobin helping a very shocked and bruised Kai off the ground. But he didnât care.
He had finally given into his tears and began crying harshly against Taehyunâs hold. He was just trying to protect you. Now he wasnât sure what he did to you.
âWhat the actual fuck is going on here?!â Beomgyu questioned as he stood in the doorway watch his brothers, one bloodied and limping, another with cuts all over his hands as he wailed violently, and his other two doing their best to keep them apart.
Warnings: mentions of- violence, death, drinking, smoking, sleeping around (but itâs all consensual so i donât see a problem with it. But i know some people do so TW ig), name calling (but they donât actually mean it and none of them think they do, theyâre loving nicknames), crying, pining/angsty love, Yeonjun being dumb basically poor baby
Authorâs Note: Ahhh so Iâm back. I hope no oneâs too made i started a new addition to the werewolf/college universe but i really think these stories are gonna be nice and get me excited to start writing again so hereâs to hoping! Let me know if anyone wants to be added to the tag list for any of the characters!
Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! Theyâre just for fun/entertainment!
There Will Be Blood Masterlist
The Smart One: Part Two, Part Three, Part Four
đ„
Bold- Dialogue Italics- Thoughts
Tag list-
Yeonjun never understood his brothers. He never understood half of the weird shit they did. He never understood their constant need to be around one another. And he certainly never understood why they were so eager to find their mates.
So naturally, when he was sat on the living room couch scrolling through his phone out of boredom and suddenly heard the pup of their pack arguing with their alpha over what their future mates must be like at the kitchen table, he couldnât help but roll his eyes.
âHyung, thereâs no way youâll get a mate thatâs like you,â Kai reasoned with a dry chuckle, âThat relationship could never last! Two control freaks donât make for a happy couple!â
âSurprised you could do that much math,â Soobin scoffed semi-bitterly at his younger brother, âIn fact, you better hope yours has half a brain because youâre too dumb to not have someone looking out for you for the rest of your life!â
Everyone in the pack knew that the youngest in the pack wasnât always the smartest when it came to basic schooling and common sense. Hell, the only reason they found him and added him to the pack in the first place was because he had somehow managed to piss off a group of fifth graders who began chasing him, a high school senior, down the eldestâs home street.
So Yeonjun knew the alpha wasnât entirely wrong for insinuating Kai probably needed a mate with a solid head on their shoulders. But that didnât mean that he thought the boy was stupid.
He actually thought he was quite bright when he wanted to be. In fact, the eldest often even went to the pup for some sound advice when needed because he knew he had an incredibly high emotional intellegence for someone so young.
Huening just wasnât all that book smart. But so what? Yeonjun himself couldnât necessarily say he was either. He loathed school and his grades were a perfect reflection of his feelings. He couldnât even count how many classes he flunked on one hand anymore. But that didnât mean he was stupid or dumb. He just⊠didnât do well in school. Obviously that meant he wouldnât waste his time or energy trying.
Kai on the other hand very much cared about doing a good job at school. He was a people pleaser and an overachiever, two personality traits Yeonjun didnât envy him for having.
The youngest of their pack worked tirelessly to get his grades to something his parents would consider to be an acceptable score. He found himself people willing to tutor him, spent countless hours at the library at their shared university, and even mapped himself out a schedule that was dedicated to maximizing his study efforts. It was evident to anyone with eyes that he was working his butt off.
So part of him did think what the alpha said was a bit of a low blow. It probably even hurt the youngestâs feelings, not that heâd ever show it.
But part of Yeonjun also thought that the topic at hand they were arguing about was a stupid topic to argue about to begin with.
âI can take care of myself you know hyung,â Huening insisted.
You see, Yeonjun didnât like the idea of mates. He didnât like the idea of signing away everything that made them themselves to some stranger their weird werewolf instincts told them they would have to love forever. He didnât like the idea that his brothers were all trying as hard as they were to find theirs.
And he sure as shit didnât agree with wanting to give up the lifestyle he had gotten used to over the years just because his dumb wolfy brain would be too obsessed with some innocent unsuspecting human to think straight.
Soobin snickered, âYou literally wouldnât be able to tie your shoes if it werenât for us but whatever Huening.â
Because who would want to be tied down like that? Who would want to have to answer to some random person for the rest of their life that something as ridiculous as fate set them up with? Who would want a life that basically took away everyone in the situationâs free will and personal choices? Not Yeonjun, thatâs for sure.
âThat was one time!â Kai groaned with a theatrical throw of his hands in the air, âAnd it was only because I couldnât find my contacts hyung!â
At that point in his younger brothersâ conversation, Yeonjun had pretty much tuned them out. Not that he could help it, theyâre the ones who got his brain stuck on a topic he otherwise wouldnât have given five seconds of his time to. Now because of them, his brain was laser focused on what finding a mate would mean for him in particular. And the thought started making his stomach churn with unease.
Because he was someone who liked going to parties. He liked the opportunity to make friends and socialize. He liked the free drinks and party favors. He even liked the god awful music because it meant he could dance his troubles away without a care in the world.
If he had a mate, chances were they wouldnât want him to go to parties. Or go out. Or have a good time with his friends.
He was also someone who liked to drink and smoke pretty regularly to handle the stress of his everyday life. Not that he was an alcoholic or anything, but he was definitely someone who had to go to the hospital more than a handful of times to get his stomach pumped after partying a little too hard. And he was definitely someone who always had a pack of cigarettes in his jacket pocket in case he needed to chill out. But that didnât mean he thought he was a chain smoker or anything.
Regardless of what he thought, the pack was friends with other packs in the area and letâs just say more than a few of them had mates that were heavily against their mate doing any kind of smoking or drinking.
With his luck, his mate would be the same exact way and heâd be forced to give up something he knew loved for someone his instincts would tell him he loved.
Yeonjun also liked to hook up with random people at the parties he went to. Some of them even on a regular basis because it was a situation that benefited everyone involved. They all would be satisfied with their sex lives and no one had to worry about mushy gushy relationship stuff like going on picnics or planning cheesy dates to get laid.
But he knew the second he got a girlfriend, that favorite pass time of his would be over or it would become the center of all their arguments. Which is exactly why he had never had one before.
Which was another issue: he wasnât exactly a guy destined for monogamy. Hell, he wasnât even able to promise his situationships that he wouldnât go fuck someone else right after he was done with them.
And everyone, everyone, knew that about him. Even people he had never even met or people from other universities knew he was the kind of guy who girls brought back home to their beds, not back home to meet their parents.
If he had a mate, chances were they wouldnât be okay with an open relationship. In fact, theyâd likely want to be completely exclusive and to only be with each other. And, since being a mated werewolf apparently meant youâd do anything your mate wanted, heâd have no choice but to comply.
But if he had a choice, Yeonjun would want the opposite of that. Not that he would even know how to begin going about having that kind of awkward talk with someone. Actually, he couldnât even imagine the issues that uncomfortable conversation would cause him if he had a mate.
As the eldest stayed seated adorned in his usual black and leather get up and witnessed Kai bang his fist slightly against the kitchen table causing it to still shake rather violently due to their heightened strength, he couldnât help but think of another rather unsettling complication finding a mate would cause him if he somehow did manage to warm up to the idea of having one: bringing a fragile little human into his rather chaotic and dangerous life.
Sure he had plenty of human friends, not having them wouldâve been strange and they had to stay unsuspecting to the outside world after all. And it wasnât even that he thought less of them or had them for appearances sake. Yeonjun did genuinely like, and even at times envy, his human friends. But none of them knew half the shit that really went on in his life.
They didnât know that he wore brown colored contacts to hide his naturally golden eyes. They didnât know that his roommates were actually his packmates. They didnât know he had to be locked up for almost a whole week twice a year to keep from fucking everything and everyone that crossed his path during his rut.
And they definitely didnât know that if he ever let his emotions go unchecked and got too mad he could phase and hurt, possibly even accidentally kill, the people around him.
Yeonjun had known he had to take all that into consideration during every interaction he had with his human friends. He couldnât let his guard down or let his emotions take control for even a second around them.
Despite that, he had never really thought about what falling in love with a human would mean for or what the consequences would be for them.
Being a mate meant being part of his pack. His pack of very kind, albeit very dumb, brothers and their future mates. It meant always having to be tethered to them because Yeonjun was, no matter how big in size it would get or how rocky a relationship the person would have with any one of them.
Being a mate meant having to keep a secret, a huge one, from all friends and family outside of said pack in order to protect everyone. It meant his mate would have to watch everything they said to be sure they never let anything slip out.
And being a mate meant being put in dangerous, possibly even deadly, situations. It meant that his mate would have to always be on the look out for werewolf hunters trying to use them for leverage.
It meant theyâd have to be conscious of rivaling or vengeful packs/rogue wolves whoâd have a bone to pick with theirs for one reason or another. It meant theyâd have to get wrapped up with other packs and their business because Yeonjunâs never turned others away when they needed help.
It even meant that he could hurt his mate himself if he wasnât careful while phasing or using too much strength when their weaker human body couldnât handle it.
Being linked to him meant being linked to a revolver with one bullet in the chamber randomly firing: you just never knew when it would go off.
How could Yeonjun ever be okay with doing that to someone who never had a say in the matter to begin with because of the feelings they would catch due to his werewolf instincts?
Even if his instincts told him he didnât have a choice, how could he ever willingly be okay with putting someone he supposedly loved in harms way each and every day? How could he ever be able to sleep at night? Or even live with himself if something ever ha-
âJjun hyung,â Soobinâs voice suddenly broke through Yeonjunâs thoughts, âI need you to drive Hyuka to the library for his tutoring session today.â
The eldest couldnât help but pull his brow together in annoyance, âAnd why the fuck would I do that?â
Yeonjun couldnât lie and say he meant for his question to come out as rude as it did. But he truthfully didnât see why he needed to be the one to take him. Sure the pup of the pack couldnât drive yet, but others in the pack had recently gotten their licenses and could take him. Why did he have to do it?
Especially after he went and bummed himself out by overthinking his whole existence and future from a conversation the alpha and pup started without his control. It just didnât seem fair.
âBecause Iâm in charge and because Iâm asking you politely to do it,â Binnie spoke hurriedly as he shoved some books into his already overflowing bag, clearly rushing to leave the house for, what the eldest could only assume based on his polished appearance anyways, work.
Yeonjun didnât really think that was a good enough answer. Why couldnât Beomgyu take the younger boy? Or Taehyun? Why did it have to be him?
He drove a really nice motorcycle that, even though it could fit two people on it easily, he didnât like other people getting close to because they could scratch or dent it. Not to mention Hueningkai was absolutely terrified of riding it as he so lovingly pointed out when he deemed it a âcoffin on two wheels.â It would just make more sense for one of the others to drop him off, right?
So Yeonjun let out a dry chuckle, âNicely? Sounds more like a command if you ask me. Huening failing out of school is not my responsibility. Besides someone else will have to do it anyways because I have school myself sorry.â
While he knew that statement was a selfish thing to say, it was also true. If he could manage to get by in school all on his own with a hope and a prayer, why couldnât the youngest of their little family learn to do it?
Sure other people did try to âhelpâ Yeonjun with his issues once upon a time, but they just made him feel even more stupid than he already knew his parents thought he was. So he didnât even fully see the point of the pup going to tutoring anyways. Chances are it wouldnât really work for him either. So it was a waste of money in his eyes.
The alpha pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly agitated and over the fight he hadnât even had with the eldest yet, âJesus fuck Yeonjun-ah, I donât have time for this!â Soobin insisted with a hiss, âTweedle dee and tweedle dumbassâs class start times today wonât let them do it and I have work. We both know youâre just gonna blow your classes off today like you do nearly everyday anyways so you can do it you just donât want to.â
Soobin sighed jaggedly as he ran a hand through his messy hair in an attempt to steady his breathing, âBut if thatâs what it takes to get you off your ass and to get you to be helpful for once then yes, itâs a command then!â He practically growled because he had to do something he hated and had to force his status on his brothers as he threw his bag to sit on his shoulder, âTake his ass to his tutoring so he doesnât fail out of school. I dont know about you but i donât want his sisters to come and freak out on us for being bad influences on him again!â
Even though he heard muffled snickers coming from Taehyun and Beomgyu sitting nearby, all Yeonjun could do at that point was throw a harsh scowl Soobinâs way.
He couldnât disobey an alphas order anymore than he could stop breathing. And he couldnât necessarily say the alpha was wrong in saying he was just planning on not going to his classes today anyways. He just really hadnât planned on being Hueningâs personal taxi driver for the day. Sometimes he really hated being a werewolf.
âLooks like youâre stuck with me hyung!â Kai put his arm over the eldestâs shoulder with a squeeze, a cheshire grin happily plastered on his face.
âYou know I hate you right?â Yeonjun rolled his eyes as he got up to grab the keys to his motorcycle, much to the sudden mortification and realization of the younger boy.
ââââ
A whiff of old books and ancient dust seemed to flow through the air as the two boys stepped through the double doors to their collegeâs library. A library Yeonjun hated.
He hated the smell, even if the smell today wasnât as putrid as usual for some reason. It still smelled musky and moldy like it normally did, just⊠less moldy and musky than he had known it to be previously.
He hated the goodie goodie people sitting at their tables studying, who no doubt thought they were better than him. Which was total bull. Because just because he wasnât book smart like they were and could barely scrape by in his classes didnât mean the brown nosing assholes scattered about the depressing building should have the right to judge him.
And he definitely hated having to be anywhere near the grouchy librarian who always told him he was too loud to be there. Which he found ridiculous because why should he have to be less noisy and more tame when she let everyone else do what they wanted to all the time anyways? He was 99.99% positive that the old crone just had it out for him.
âYou just haaaaaad to suck at calculus didnât you?â Yeonjun rhetorically asked his brother under his breath, his nose automatically scrunching up at the foreign aromas around him, slightly catching a whiff of someoneâs delicious smelling cherry perfume that was sweet enough to almost have him forgetting why he was there in the first place. Almost.
But Huening paid no mind to the sulky boy as his eyes began to scan the rather large and echoey prison of a room for his rather small and quiet tutor.
The eldest knew that Hyuka had been doing sessions with some girl for a little over three months now and heâd say they had paid off substantially, his calculus grade went from a failing D to an average B. Which was something none of his brothers had managed to help him do.
So, as annoyed as he was at his alpha for forcing him to take him to school, Yeonjun tried not to be too annoyed with the pup. At least he was putting in effort to do something good for himself.
But that didnât mean he had to like the place his little study sessions took place. The school library was just like one of those cheesy kdramas the pup used to make him watch, just minus the romance part and more focus on the boring part. How ugly.
âThere she is!â Hueningkai practically squealed, his high pitched voice causing you to look up from the book that was in front of you at your table with a small, though obviously very startled, smile.
While Kai was just happy rambling about what they were going to work on that day and why the session would take so long as he was getting tutored by someone he considered a friend, one of the few he had actually managed to make on his own, Yeonjun was in his own little world.
From the moment his eyes turned to you as you looked up to shyly greet his younger brother from afar, everything else around him faded away.
All the students mumbling around him were tuned out when he quickly realized the sweet cherry smell looming in the air was linked to you.
All the sounds of chairs being pushed in and out from the tables scattered about went mute as your beautiful curls residually bounced from moving your head to look up.
All the passerbyers around you practically floated out of his line of sight as your dimpled smile radiated a warmth bright enough to reach even the coldest person in the room.
Before his current interaction with you, Yeonjun had only heard about you from his younger brotherâs constant babbling about his new tutor friend. Soobin, Taehyun, or Beomgyu had always been the one to drop him off because the eldest never wanted to and/or was never home.
He never cared enough about something so trivial to listen to Kaiâs mentions of you, which was something he was regretting very much in the present.
He didnât remember much, but what did manage to sneak itâs way into his brain made sense. He had once told Yeonjun something about you being a foreigner. You definitely didnât look as Korean as the people around you, yet you still managed to outshine every single person in the building by a landslide.
He thought the younger boy had once spoken about how shy you were and, based on how your cheeks lit up with noticeable hues of pink and red even through your darker complexion once you saw that Kai hadnât come alone, he guessed his assessment of you was correct.
Huening had also said something about you being very polished and conservative in appearance. Which was something exuded in your outfit choice: a pastel yellow cardigan that brought out the glow in your ebony skin and an olive green under vest that fit your rather curvy body perfectly.
And from what Yeonjun could see just under the open library table, you had a pleated skirt composed of similar colors and white laced tights that matched your headband on top of your beautifully and expertly styled hair.
To say you were the most gorgeous person the elder boy had ever seen was an understatement.
All Yeonjun wanted to do was go over, pull you up from your chair, and kiss your perfectly glossed lips until you both ran out of breath.
Sure it would be a little difficult to maneuver, Yeonjun could tell by referencing the size of everything around you that you were quite a bit shorter than him, actually probably a lot a bit shorter than him. But with his strength and your small frame, he was sure he would still be able to lift you with ease.
In fact, you would probably be just the right size for him to be able to wrap your legs around his waist and walk around comfortably. Which would mean that walking you over to the nearest room with a lockable door wouldnât be a probl-
But before he could finish his line of thinking, you lifted your delicate hand in the air to signal Kai to come over to you and suddenly the panic of the situation truly set in, causing Yeonjun to react on instinct.
Heart nearly pounding out of his chest from the shock of having seen you, he quickly threw himself to the side of the nearest bookcase to hide himself from your view. Much to the confusion of his younger brother who dutifully followed suite in order to see what was going on.
âYeonjun-ah,â Kai hesitantly spoke to get the elder boyâs attention, âIs everything okay?â
No, nothing was okay. Five seconds ago his life was great. Five seconds ago he was Yeonjun, the guy who smoked nearly a pack a day. Five seconds ago he was Yeonjun, the guy who always had a drink in his hand to take the edge off.
Five seconds ago he was Yeonjun, party boy who slept with whoever he wanted to whenever he wanted to without a care in the world. Five seconds ago he was Yeonjun, a normal (relatively speaking anyways) human guy.
Now he was Yeonjun, the werewolf whose senses were going into hyperdrive and whoâs brain was ready to throw all that away over some girl he had only seen once for less than half a minute.
âT-That girlâs your tutor?â The elder boy asked as he worked on catching his breath, deeply gulping back a crack he knew his voice was desperate to let out.
Huening tilted his head in confusion and gripped the strap of the bag that was thrown over his shoulder a little tighter in discomfort, âYeah⊠thatâs ____⊠whyâŠ?â
Scanning the pupâs expression, Yeonjun could tell he was getting suspicious of what was going on. He knew the second the youngest understood what was going on heâd run an tell everyone in the pack.
After that thereâd be no going back. After that everything would change, for him and you. But he couldnât let that happen.
He couldnât lose what little life he had found for himself outside of his pack. He couldnât let go of the few things he had left that make him happy. He couldnât throw away a life of freedom for a life of fear.
And he couldnât get you caught up in the mess he had created that was his life, not when he finally saw you. Not when he could tell you were a happy sweet innocent person who deserved a hell of a lot better than what he could ever give you. Not when every instinct in his body was telling him to protect you from the biggest threat around: himself. He could ruin your happy, normal life.
Yeonjun knew heâd have to respond to his brother in a matter of seconds. He knew he was acting weird and that the youngest would come to his own conclusions.
But he still had one hope: no one else in their pack had gone through imprinting or mating yet, so no one knew 100% what the signs really were in real life. They only heard second hand accounts from their friends in other packs. So there was still a chance he could hide it. You still had a chance.
âNo- No reason,â Yeonjun did his best to pull himself together and recreate his shattered normal cool guy persona, even though his heart was still in his throat and it was causing him to become light headed, âJust wondering. Thatâs all. What time do you need picked up?â
Based on Kaiâs still confused face, he didnât seem to buy Yeonjunâs answer fully. Probably because he could physically hear his brotherâs pulse racing.
But he at least let it go soon enough when he heard you softly call his name in the most painfully beautiful voice Yeonjun had ever heard, âI need a ride back at 4. I gotta go, thanks for the ride hyung!â
With that, the pup went off in a hurry to meet you at your table, giving you a quick hug and placing his things on the table for you to get your session started.
And while Yeonjunâs immediate instinct to his internal decision to stay away from you was to need to whimper because you were so close yet so far away from him, he shakily began to walk to the libraryâs exit so he could get back to his bike.
It felt like his heart was crushing in two. It felt like the world was crumbling around him. Like all the air was being pulled from his lungs with every step further from you that he took. It felt like he was slipping away into space and that the only thing that could bring him back to earth was you. But he refused.
As he jumped on his motorcycle, started the engine, and he sped off and away from his university at full speed, tears began to slide down his face underneath his helmet.
He made a promise to himself and to you to keep you away from him, no matter how much it hurt. It was better for everyone that way.
He wasnât meant to be in relationships. He wasnât meant for commitment. He wasnât meant to love people unconditionally. He physically couldnât, he had no frame of reference to mimic to even show you he would be willing to try to figure it out for you.
He couldnât be a boyfriend, he legitimately didnât know how to be one. And he wasnât about to force you to teach him while also putting you in mortal danger every single day because of him and his pack.
A part of Yeonjunâs distraught brain wondered if he shouldâve felt bad for taking the choice away from you. After all, thatâs why he hated the idea of mating in the first place.
But he decided that nobody should have to make that choice. Nobody should have to choose between a quiet life with someone you could never love right and a dangerous life that may be cut short because of someone you love madly. Nobody should have to feel guilty for unintentionally killing someone if they rejected them. Nobody should have to be put through it, least of all you.
Youâd be safer and happier this way. And he could continue on living for his pack because you wouldnât have verbally denied him.
He didnât like the idea of mates and what they stood for. He hated that they took away free will. But as cheesy as it sounded, seeing you for the first time changed everything he felt just earlier in the day.
He saw you and he immediately wanted to stop partying. He saw you and wouldâve instantly quit smoking and drinking if thatâs what you wanted him to do. He saw you and felt the need to send out messages to all his previous fuckbuddies to let them know it was over between them, that he had no need for them when he had you.
Because all he could think about was the future he could have with you. The stereotypical one people always referenced with the nice big house with a white picket fence he wouldâve helped put up himself.
One where you two had a stupidly expensive wedding where you looked absolutely stunning walking down the aisle towards where he would be at the alter bawling his eyes out knowing you would be his forever.
A future where you had normal human jobs you came home from at the end of the day and complained to each other about while making dinner.
A life where you had two kids: a boy who looked and unfortunately acted just like himself and a girl that luckily looked and acted just like you.
Now that he had met you, he wanted you to be together. He wanted you to be his mate, to be his. He was fine with his free will being taken away if it meant he was able to freely spend a lifetime with you.
But he couldnât put you through that.
And driving away from you when he couldâve just gone and introduced himself to you and asked you out was single handedly the hardest thing he had ever done. And his life was only gonna get harder.
So itâs been a while⊠and Iâve decided to add another part to the college werewolf series with TXT in it. Iâm hoping it gives me the want to finish the other two sets! Sorry if anyoneâs waiting on the others but Iâm trying to get back into it by getting excited with something new!
Finding love can be challenging for normal young adults. But when you throw in an angsty teen, a stressed giant, two children, and one solid brain cell, youâd be surprised just how chaotic things can get.
Every member will have their own love story with their own mate. The stories will be written in a specific order. So when the stories start coming out, I suggest that theyâre read in the order they are written so that the rest of the stories make sense. They also correspond at times with the stories written for Seventeen and WayV so be sure to read them if you want a more well rounded story!
Please also be sure to read every storylineâs set of warnings BEFORE you start reading any of the stories as theyâll all be different!!! Also read the warnings BEFORE you read every new chapter as they can change and things can be added!!
Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! Theyâre just for fun/entertainment!
Overall Masterlist
Yeonjun- The Smart One: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, & Part Four
Okay after a long ass time i am back. Iâm gonna ease my way back into writing by going over some of my old work and editing it to make it more legible. Once Iâm back to it Iâll hopefully start writing new chapters again thanks for being so patient <3
I apologize for not being active and not letting anyone know sooner but i havenât felt like speaking much. I recently had a completely unexpected passing in my family and itâs affected me pretty hard. Iâll be back to posting when i start to feel more like myself
HI I'M BACK I MISS YOU AUTHOR AND YOUR FICS!! JUST SAW KUN HAVING HOKKIEN I JUST WENT HELL YEAH (cause I can speak hokkien but a variety of itđ ) Gonna go read the rest I missed out on. Hope your doing well!! đ
đ§
Good to see you đ§! I hope youâre doing well! Iâm working on the rest of Kunâs fic for his part. Itâs also tied in with Joshuaâs part from Paved with good intentions so you might wanna check there too!
Warnings: mentions of childhood abuse, hints at past sexual assault by a family member, mentions of cheating, mentions of hunger and food, mentions of women not being allowed to do much because the governments shit, mentions of war, mentions of running away, mentions of an animal attack on a human (though not super graphic), mentions of passive suicidal ideations, mentions of parental death, dark humor about it tbh, sort of cheating but also not?, I think thatâs all but let me know if i missed anything!
Authorâs Note: This pairs with Joshuaâs The Taken One as well, with Joshuaâs first part going first then Kunâs. Then the same goes for part two. Prepare to be sad. Sheâs a long one folks.
Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! Theyâre just for fun/entertainment!
Watch It All Burn Masterlist
The Taken One: Part 2
Joshuaâs The Taken One: Part 1, Part 2, & Part 3
Mostly đ„
Bold= Korean Dialogue Italics= Thoughts Pink= Cantonese Red=Mandarin Green=English
Tag List-
You had known Kun a long time. Everyone said you were the power couple. The âitâ couple. The couple that couldnât be broken no matter what obstacles tried to throw themselves in your way. Who couldâve known that they could all have been so wrong?
You first met him when you were in school. Well, when you were sort of in school. You had known of him for most of your life since he was all anyone at your school had ever wanted to talk about. But he wasnât in your grade. You were one grade below him and, even though you took advanced classes for your age, your paths never really crossed until one faithful day when he caught you walking through the woods with your backpack on.
Normally, Kun wouldnât have thought twice about seeing a girl walking around with her backpack on her back out of the corner of his eye while he was playing a ball game in his schoolyard with some of his friends.
But because of the growing war tensions, many laws had recently changed. One of such laws made it to where women werenât allowed to learn in a public setting anymore. Nothing specifically said they couldnât learn, but the new conservative policies definitely put severe and direct restrictions over what women could and couldnât do.
When Kun saw a small girl struggling to carry her school bag after the law was put in place, his first instinct wasnât to run and tell a teacher that there was a girl breaking policy, it was to run and hide the girl out of sight so she wouldnât get caught.
He and his family thought the law was stupid and shouldâve never been implemented. He grew up with a sympathetic father who was saddened by the struggles of others and a strong willed âdo it yourselfâ mother who didnât like when bad things happened to others. In turn, they taught their son to always protect and care for others even if his own life couldâve been put at risk, just as they themselves would.
So he knew immediately that he had to help her. He quickly dismissed himself from his game on the premise of having a leg cramp and bolted to the edge of the woods as soon as no one was looking.
He ran for what seemed like forever until he stumbled upon a very sad, very distressed smaller girl: you.
You were quietly sobbing into your hands while you sat on a tree stump with a bag stuffed so full of stuff, he was worried it would burst with any sudden movement from you.
âH-Hello, are-are you okay?â Kun practically whispered, trying to keep his tone down not just to not worry you but also so he wouldnât raise any nearby alarms about a girl so close to school grounds.
You immediately darted up from your sitting position with wide eyes, allowing him to see the cuts and bruises on your face, and ducked behind the back of the stump, knowing full well that being caught would mean certain death for you.
Though you werenât sure if at 12 years old you even cared at that point about whether you lived or died, you did know you didnât want to die as vicious a means to an end as death by firing squad. You had already been through and gone through so much unnecessary and painful abuse and trauma. You werenât sure if you could handle such a violent death too.
âItâs- Itâs okay. I wonât hurt you or turn you in.â The boy promised, causing you to peak up from your hiding place just enough to see if you could tell if he was being honest or not.
You were met with a handsome boy in a slightly crouched, less menacing position. But based on his height and demeanor you figured he was probably a year or two older than you. You thought you vaguely recognized him but you couldnât place a name to his face.
You did note, however, that his deep dimples and starry eyes held nothing but earnesty and compassion in them, âI donât know if you know me or not, but my nameâs Kun. Qian Kun.â
Oh. You definitely knew his name alright. Everybody knew him. He was a goody goody teacher's pet that did whatever he could to get ahead to some. To others, he was just a kind and thoughtful misunderstood boy whoâd do anything for anyone and not ask for anything in return. But how could you know which version youâd heard about him was the truth?
Kun understood your hesitation and reluctance. Not only did he not recognize you, meaning you had most likely never met, but you probably didnât know what to think of him.
He knew the stories surrounding him and you were probably trying to decipher which were true and which werenât. Because being wrong couldâve meant being executed for you.
He could practically see you shaking with fear. It made his heart twist in his chest uncomfortably. Heâd never felt such⊠sorrow for someone else before. You were trembling in fear and looked like you lost to someone in a fighting match even though you were so young. It didnât seem fair to him that you were put in the position you were in, whatever that position was.
But because it was only a matter of time before someone noticed he was missing himself, he decided to play his odds and be direct with you, âLook, i know you must be scared. But why would I have told you my name if I was gonna turn you in? Even if you believe everything people say about me, you must know that even the informers can get in trouble sometimes too.â
You couldnât deny that he had a point. Some people would go out of their way to find citizens who were breaking the law to turn them in for the reward money.
But you always thought it was stupid of them. Everyone had heard the countless stories of all parties involved going missing or being murdered simply because they stood next to someone who broke a law or because the government wanted to keep the whole thing quiet so they could pretend everything was just peachy throughout your country. But how could you be sure the boy was actually there to help you?
There were just as many cases of the informer being awarded money or much needed ration cards for turning people in after tricking them into thinking they would help harbor them. He couldâve easily just been trying to gain your trust so he could do the same, you didnât know. So you opted to stay silent.
âIâm just trying to help you. I swear! You shouldnât be around here. Theyâre patrolling more and more. You need to get out of here!â He pleaded quietly with you, but you couldnât help but still worried.
You were always taught men were bad. You were shown that men were bad. Thatâs why you were out in the first place. And even if you did believe the boy, you didnât have anywhere else to go.
You didnât want to go back home. You wouldnât go back home. You couldnât go back home. After this last time, you promised yourself youâd break free and thatâs exactly what you did. You threw your most important and necessary items in your old school bag and ran for it. You figured you could run away to a new country. Somewhere where people wouldnât hurt you for sport. Somewhere where women and children had a say and were protected. Somewhere better.
Kun had just caught you in the middle of some much needed rest from your night of running and crying. Now, you faced each other as he tried to convince you trust him.
But before either of you could make any move at all, you both heard tire tracks hitting the dirt road not too far from where you were. And they were getting closer. Much closer.
Out of desperation, Kun ran and jumped over the tree stump. He crouched over you so his chest hit your back (which was of course covered by your backpack), wrapped his arms around you and threw you both into a rather large bush with him landing on the ground first before you could try anything that wouldâve no doubt gotten you both killed.
Once you were both settled in the bush, you were practically in his lap with how you landed, he trapped his hand over your mouth and whispered for you to be quiet.
Almost as if on cue, you heard a car stop not too far from the bush you found yourself in and listened as soldiers got out. Though you could hear a group of them talking in mandarin. But, as you werenât as fluent in mandarin as you were in your mother tongue of cantonese, you didnât really understand what they were saying.
The voices were using a very formal way of speaking and a much more developed vocabulary than you had learned. Mandarin itself was already very hard for you as the language was very differently set up than your own. But you had only just begun taking lessons in it a year ago, when it had been mandated by the state that every Chinese citizen be required to speak it in public at all times in yet another new law.
Since you stopped going to school so early on in your teachings, your progress in the language all but stopped. So you hadnât become proficient enough in it to be confident you understood what even fellow young students said, let alone what a bunch of adult soldiers said.
But as his arm tightened around you and his legs moved to cover your balled up body, part of you knew he could and realized he was doing his best to shield you from whatever couldâve been coming by using his body as some sort of a chrysalis around you. The move probably wouldâve made your heart beat a little faster had it not already been pumping like crazy from terror.
Neither of moved. You were both hardly even breathing. As you heard the footsteps and their shoe crunching getting closer and closer, you were worried youâd freak out just from the sheer horrifying thought of the soldiers catching you and you didnât want to risk potentially exposing the both of you when you couldâve still had a chance to get away.
So you decided to find something, anything, to focus on that wasnât them. You landed on Kunâs rapid heart beating behind you, something you could still somehow hear despite your bag creating what almost certainly was at minimum six inches between your back and his chest.
Even though the both of you were the most scared you had ever been in your young lives, for some reason being in the situation with him made you feel less worried. Hearing his heartbeat so close to your own gave you a sense of comfort and security you had never had before that moment.
Sure you were downright terrified that the soldiers were gonna come and shoot you both. But for some weird reason, some part of you thought you wouldnât have minded if the both of you met your end there so long as you had each other.
It was quite a while before the shoe crunching and footsteps went away. It seemed like hours till you heard their car turn back on and drive off. At least, thatâs what it felt like. But once the elder of you deemed it save, he slowly uncoiled himself from around you and checked to see if the coast was clear. Once he realized it was, he fully got out of it and then turned his attention to helping you get back out as well.
Which itself proved a challenge as the near brush with danger left young you feeling as though your legs were jello and made your body feel faint. After a try or two he managed to sit you back down on the stump you had previously used to hide from him with so you could try and calm down.
While you were trying to steady your breathing again, he finally was able to get a real look at you. Sure he caught a small glimpse in the .03 seconds he had before you went straight to panicking at the site of him, but it didnât give him enough time to realize you were actually kinda⊠cute.
Your long jet black hair now had little twigs and even a small leaf in it, your what he could tell were naturally large amber colored eyes were now widened even further from the shock of the military men trying to catch you, and the scarlet lips he had previously held behind his palm to keep you from giving away your location were now protruded into a child like pout.
He realized you probably werenât much younger than him, or at least would probably be considered taller than most girls your age based on the fact that you werenât really super short.
But something he definitely couldnât help but notice was that you smelt amazing, like fresh linens with a hint of daisies, even though the both of you had literally spent the past hour hiding to save your lives. He figured his 13 year old self mustâve smelt nowhere near as good as you from the sweat that had formed due to the stress of him trying to keep you both alive.
âH-helloâŠ?â You gently spoke to gain his attention in the sweetest little voice he had ever heard in his life.
Once he realized that you mustâve been trying to get his attention and that he had more than likely zoned out while staring at you, he jumped out of his trance, âuh- um sorry. W-What did you say?â
âI said: you should probably go. Theyâll⊠probably come back and uh⊠Iâm sure you donât want to be here when they do.â You suggested, refusing to look him in the eye and instead determined to keep your eyes on your now cut up legs.
They were pretty banged up from the long walking and the suddenness of being thrown into hiding. And thatâs not all. You had small cuts and bruises everywhere, you tights were snagged, the arm of your dress shirt was ripped, and you couldâve sworn you had some sort of new rather large cut on your forehead based on the dripping stinging feeling you were feeling.
Though, you werenât trying to seem ungrateful for him saving you. Far from it, you were trying to thank him for saving your life by saving his life.
Theyâd probably come back again since they were cracking down on people even harder now. You didnât want him around again for that since he still had a chance.
And the more you though about it, the more you realized you definitely couldnât go home and really only had two options: let the soldiers find you and hopefully give you a quick death with a bunch of guns or starve to death slowly on the streets. You opted for the first of the two so youâd have less of a chance of suffering.
Kun moved around uncomfortably in his spot, âOh⊠right. Yeah theyâll- theyâll probably be back soon. We should go.â He agreed, putting his hand out to help you off the stump like the gentlemen he was raised to be.
But instead of grabbing it to get up, you kindly pushed it down and shook your head, âNo,â You simply stated, âYou⊠You should go. Iâm staying here.â
âWhat do you mean youâre staying here? You know what just happened. Itâs not safe! We need to go!â He insisted in a haste, trying to pull you up from the stump using the closest arm of yours he could grab.
But you refused to leave your spot and grabbed onto the top of the tree stump with your free arm, so his efforts were much to no avail.
âStop it,â you hissed through thickly accented mandarin, âI-I canât go anywhere.â
âAnd why on earth not?â Kun questioned, still using as much strength as his tired body would let him in his current state to get you up out of your seat.
âBecause- I⊠I have no where else to go okay?â You tried to pull your arm from his grasp but you soon realized he was too strong, so you instead settled for giving him the evil eye.
With your new statement though, he dropped your arm in shock anyways, âW-What do you mean you have nowhere else to goâŠ?â He asked softly, now with saddened eyes.
He didnât know you, but something about him already had him having a small crush on you. Which was stupid considering neither of you were really in a position to be making google eyes at each other, but he figured it was his teenage hormones. Either way, that same part of him didnât like the way you said what you said and gave him a bad feeling in his gut.
âI⊠I wonât go home,â You spoke slowly as you tried to think of the correct words to say in mandarin, âItâs⊠not safe there.â You answered, once again refusing to look the strange boy in the eyes, âAnd since Iâd just⊠go hungry living on the street, Iâd⊠rather go down by the- oh whatâs the word? The firing squad.â
Kun didnât understand. Why were those what you saw as your only two options? Why did you choose those as your two options? Why would you choose to die? Didnât you realize your parents were probably scared out of their minds looking for you?
âWhy the firing squad?â He asked.
He was honestly just trying to scare you into backing down and going back home. He didnât think you had thought out what you were saying properly and that bringing the idea back up may shock you into rethinking your whole statement. He didnât think you thought any of of what you said through.
âAt least itâs quick.â
Kun was in absolute disbelief. And if he hadnât been in disbelief from your actual words, the look of pure acceptance on your face was enough to leave him completely dumbfounded.
Because he realized you had actually really thought it through. But what couldâve been so awful at your home that made you want to commit second hand suicide than to return? What in the world couldâve made you think that that was a better alternative than living at home with your parents.
âYouâd prefer to be shot than to just go back home to your loving parents?â He asked a question, again just more trying to scare you than anything.
You nodded and answered in a tiny, âYes.â
Kun was borderline in tears at that point. How could you in all your childishness think dying was better than going home to your family? He could never leave his parents. He loved them. And he knew they loved him. So how could you just get up and leave people who loved you so much?
âBut⊠Why?â He quizzed quietly.
âBecause my father he⊠he loves me too muchâŠâ you quivered barely above a whisper.
Part of you wasnât even sure if the older boy heard what you said. Part of you hoped that he hadnât so you didnât have to live through the shame of telling your story out loud. But it just⊠slipped out.
He wasnât sure what you meant by your statement at the time. He wasnât even sure why you were crying as you said it or why you brought your legs up to your chest and began rocking back and forth. But it gave him an ominous feeling he had never quite felt before.
He didnât know who you were, and he still wasnât really sure of why you didnât want to go home. But if you didnât want to go to your home, surely he couldnât just leave you out in the open to be found by soldiers by yourself.
So the older boy thought for a moment as he watched you, trying to decide what to do.
But in the end, he could only think of one option, âWell if you wonât go back to your home, why donât you come back to mine?â
You quickly stopped your mini breakdown at the boys suggestion, wiped your tears, and sniffled to clear your throat, âW-what?â
âIf you wonât go back to your home, why donât you come back to mine? At least for the night. That way youâll at least get some food and a warm bed to think on it for a little while.â
And that was how you found yourself at Kunâs house sitting in his room while him and his parents spoke in the living room without him having even known your name or where you came from.
ââ
You honestly only agreed to go with him because you figured best case scenario: youâd get a warm meal and bed for the night, Worst case scenario: theyâd tell you to leave immediately at their sonâs crazy idea. At that point you really had nothing to lose. It wasnât like Kun was gonna take no for an answer and chances were that his parents would just throw you out and youâd be on your own anyways. What was the harm?
But to your ultimate shock though, even though they were fairly hesitant at first, after their little family talk they let you stay with them. Kunâs mom made dinner and you were able to have some like he said youâd be able to.
Had youâve actually eaten that week, youâd have been slower eating and been more careful with your manners like youâd been taught. But the smell of an actual home cooked meal coupled with the grumbling knife feeling in your belly practically made you a wild animal at their dinner table.
You were sure after that little stunt theyâd have kicked you out because of your unintended disrespect. But they didnât.
They let you stay the night in Kunâs room and he instead took the couch in the living room. It was strange, having an actual bed to sleep in. It was soft and cloud like. The blankets were warm and inviting. And the pillow they gave you was calling your name. It made it easy to fall asleep.
But then you woke up screaming from another one of your nightmares. Youâd had nightmares nearly every night of your short life back then, that night was no exception. And thatâs when you were positive your luck had ran out and youâd be back on the streets in an hour.
Though instead of being angry at you for disturbing their sleep, the Qians were nothing but concerned for you. Kunâs mom even cradled you and sang old Hokkien songs from her childhood to get you to go back to sleep.
When morning came, you fully prepared yourself for them to throw you out as soon as daylight hit. You got all of your things repacked in your bag and got dressed for the long journey ahead of you before the Qianâs had even woken up themselves. You ended up falling back asleep waiting for them to come and tell you to leave.
But they never did. In fact, you didnât wake up from the exhausting night before until Kun had already been in school for three hours and Mr. Qian had already gone to work.
Ms. Qian said that they figured it was best to just let you stay asleep after the day youâd had and she made you some eggs. She asked you a lot of questions about you and your life. She didnât push you to answer them, but she was too welcoming a person to ever deny her answers. So you told her the truth. The whole truth, which was something you hadnât ever done before with anyone.
When you were done you were a bawling whining mess and told her youâd understand if they wanted you gone as soon as possible. You told her you wouldnât blame them in the slightest if she decided to throw you and your things to the curb the very next second.
But instead, she pulled you in for the most loving hug youâd ever had, possibly the only real hug you even remembered at the time, and told you you were welcome to stay for as long as youâd liked.
It wasnât something that was uncommon. During the war, no one really cared about kids so they could do basically whatever they wanted as long as they didnât break any laws. Millions went missing. Thousands got jobs or left schools. Hundreds moved to new families. Somehow, you happened to be all three.
Your father reported you missing of course because he was a twisted controlling man, but since the cops didnât care about even their own kids, they didnât care about his. You had to leave school because the government said the only role women had during the war was to bare children, to become housewives, or to prepare for their future duty to do both. And you became part of the Qian family.
And it was a good family. Mr. And Mrs. Qian loved each other just as much as they doted and loved their son. Their happy family environment took you a long time to get used to since youâd never had one like it before. But once you did, you were glad you got to witness it. Eventually when you were comfortable enough just seeing them be the sweet family they were, they also had you really become a apart of it.
They began treating you like the daughter they never had but always secretly wanted.
Mr. Qian was quiet and reserved but always had some stupid dad joke ready that seemed to make all the worried of the day all better and helped to tutor you for the subjects youâd missed in school so that youâd be able to continue whenever the war was over and the stupid law was reversed.
Mrs. Qian showed you how to cook, play musical instruments, and taught you all about herbal Chinese medicine and supposed potions to pass the time. They acted like you had been born into the family, something youâd never expected because they already had their own son. But they always told you that their son saw you as his family, and being his family meant you were their family.
Whenever you asked Kun what theyâd meant by that or why he considered you his family when you were going through his homework for the day, he just shrugged and told you it was just a feeling he had. And for some reason that answer made you feel incredibly loved and cared for, you werenât sure why either.
ââ
About a year into your staying with them, you and the Qianâs went to the park to get some fresh air, something that was only permitted on weekends by the new government as during the week it couldâve been considered a distraction. It was rare that Mr. Qian could get time off work for family time, so everyone was pretty excited.
You and Kun decided to go down by the Min River just off the park to skip rocks, something he was shocked to hear youâd never done before. He had only just finished helping you glide a small stone through the water successfully when you started hearing noises from behind a tree.
At first, you thought nothing of it. But then you notice that Kun was standing straighter and more rigid than usual. Even then, you didnât think much of it. You figured maybe he was starting to get tired or maybe he had something on his mind.
It wasnât until the hairs on his arms began to stand up and a growl like sound emitted past his chest that you really noticed something serious was going on with him.
Just as you were going to ask him what was wrong with him, you heard a voice you had prayed to a higher power you didnât even believe in that youâd never have to hear again.
âSo this is what youâve been doing all this time my little ________?â
Immediately you turned on your heels, hoping the voice you heard hadnât actually materialized into existence behind you.
But it did. He did. And once your fears were confirmed with your very eyes, you thought youâd pass out from the sheer anxiety and terror that suddenly started to radiate through your body.
âF-father I-â You couldnât help but stutter in your native language out of habit, you didnât seem to have control over your words, or your legs based on the buckling state of your knees for that matter.
âYou ran away from home-â your father seethed as he started coming closer to you.
Which was something that had you attempting to walk backwards to gain some distance. But the previously peaceful scenery around you betrayed you once your feet soon stumbled upon the riverâs dirt edge. You had no where to go.
âYou worried your mother and I sick-â the closer he got to you, the more youâd wished youâd never had gone with Kun that day.
You wished you couldâve taken back the whole year of happiness and love because now you had to deal with a year of your fatherâs repressed rage and abuse. You suddenly wished youâd never ran away and that you just stayed back in your old home. You wanted to die everyday your father came near you, but at least you knew what you could expect of his treatment of you.
âMade us file a police report-â His everyday fury was enough to cripple the strongest man.
You didnât want to even think of what heâd do to do now that heâd found you. Would he force you home? Would he hit you in public? Would he just kill you already and get it over with? Part of you already knew heâd never let you go, but part of you also hoped heâd just put you out of your misery before it started.
âAll to be goofing off with some boy? Are you kidding me ________?! Whatâs our rule about men huh?! Huh!?â You debated whether or not jumping into the seemingly never ending river to end it all would be an option.
You knew he could swim and you couldnât. And you also knew your father was definitely the type of man that would save you only so he could continue to torture you for the rest of your life. So it seemed like a pointless move. Youâd never be free of him. Heâd never let you go.
As he got within a five foot radius of you, you looked around for Kun so you could at least get one last glance of the boy that had given you the best year of your life, so you could say goodbye to the boy who had kindly taken you in when you had no where to go. You wanted to catch a glimpse of him for the last time to let your eyes express to him the words you had never gotten to say to him: i love you.
But you soon realized he was nowhere to be found. As much as you wanted to whine out loud at the thought of not getting a chance to see him before your fate was sealed, you knew it was for the best. You didnât want him to see what would happen to you, whatever it was.
You gulped once you could perfectly see your fatherâs nostrils flaring, âI- I-â you tried to answer in the hopes of lessening the anger he felt towards you, but your words and voice still failed you.
You hoped Kun got to his parents. That he ran to them as soon as he realized it was your father who had interrupted your private moment together.
âWell ________?!?â Your father exploded, getting so close to your face you could feel his breath hit your face, the scent of vodka filling your nostrils as he tried to intimidate an answer out of you like he had done so many times before.
You hoped the Qianâs left already. You hoped they were gone and that they stayed gone. You hoped theyâd forgotten about you the second Kun got to them to save themselves and that they realized trying to help you anymore than they already had was futile.
Your father would no doubt try to find the family that sheltered and cared for you. Heâd make them regret ever crossing paths with you like heâd done to anyone else in the past that tried to show you even an announce of kindness. If they left, theyâd at least get a head start. Theyâd at least have a chance to save themselves.
Tilting your head down to look at your feet, you tried one last time to give him acknowledgement, âT-They-â Your voice started to fail you once more, causing more anger to erupt from your fatherâs throat.
You wished you could have thanked the Qianâs. You wished you could have told them how grateful you were for their kindness and generosity towards you. You wished you could have thanked them for treating you like you were their own flesh and blood when you were just some strange girl Kun had picked up from school. You wished you could have told them that their help in your time of need meant everything to you and that you wished you could have repaid them somehow.
You wished you couldâve had one last day with them to memorize the warm feeling that hit you the second youâd walked through their front door to keep the cold abyss that would soon be your prison once more from getting to you.
You wished you couldâve sat down with the respectful Mr. Qian once more before youâd be stuck with your pig of a father for the rest of your life. You wished you couldâve cooked with the joyful Mrs. Qian as you chatted about your day one last time before you got stuck with your silent and resentful mother. You wished you couldâve sat at the dining room table while a happy Kun tried to explain his homework to you for the hundredth with his beautiful dimples flashing at you as he smiled before you lost the ability to see his smile forever.
âLook at me when youâre speaking! Donât tell me youâve forgotten your manners ________!!â Your father shouted in your face, quickly bringing his hand to grab you by the jaw to force you to look at him. It wasnât until his rough hand squeezed your face that you realized the tears you had been holding back were now sliding down your cheeks.
But mostly, you wished you wouldâve had the courage to tell Kun you loved him. Even if someone as kind and caring as him couldâve and shouldâve never loved someone like you back, you wished you couldâve told him how much he meant to you before you never saw the light of day again.
Waking up to him and his lovely family everyday made you have hope that the world wasnât such a bad place afterall. In that moment, all the hope you had left was praying heâd be able to quickly forget you and realize what heâd meant to you.
âIâm-â Just as you attempted to apologize in the hopes of softening the blow you knew was no doubt going to be making contact with your face soon, you heard a loud deep growl of what you could only assume was a wolf animal come from the trees.
Your father moved his attention to the sound as well, signaling that he too had heard it and was wondering what was going on. But instead of seeing a bear or some other creature, you saw Kun standing by the trees while tightening his fists so hard you couldâve sworn he wouldâve broken his fingers.
âLet go of her. Now.â He sneered with a stone cold face, pushing himself out of the tree line and out into the daylight to be better seen.
You werenât sure what but something seemed⊠different about him. Sure he had changed quite a bit since you had first met him, but you chalked that up to puberty. This however, was new. Something you hadnât experienced before yet. Something strange.
Your father let out a dry chuckle, âOh if i were you boy i would be running as far away as possible because youâre next on my list.â
But despite your fatherâs warning and your eyes widening to tell him to run, Kun just kept his same emotionless face, âHow about we just put me at the top of your list now so we can get it out of the way then old man?â He suggested, not even seeming worried over the fact that your father was a grown adult and he was just a young teenage boy a little over half his size.
Your father let his grip on your face go and you fell to the ground, apparently your legs had finally given up what little strength they had and could no longer keep themselves upright.
âFine kid. Itâs your funeral.â Your father shrugged, turning around in his place so he could start to walk over to your beloved savior and probably off him.
You couldnât let that happen. Even though your voice failed you, you refused to let it give up on the first person who showed you even a hint of kindness, âK- Kun, donât!â You cried out.
This only caused your father to swing back around and kick you straight in your rib cage, making you go from your kneeling position to fall straight on your side.
âThatâs enough out of you!â He spit at you as you desperately gasped for the air your lungs lost.
But this time when your father tried to turn around, he wasnât met with Kun. He was met with the biggest wolf youâd ever seen lunging straight at him.
In second your father was on the ground being ripped apart by the beastâs long sharp teeth and claws as he cried out in agony.
As much as you shouldâve been scared of the wolf because it wouldâve most likely have come for you next, you werenât. You were much more concerned for your friend and started scanning your surroundings to make sure he knew to run. But he was no where to be seen.
You went from being concerned to confused as you were sure that just before you hit the ground you saw a very worried Kun watching you fall to the ground out of the corner of your eye. You wondered where he couldâve possibly gone in the small amount of time.
Your thoughts were soon interrupted when you realized your fatherâs pained yelps and screams had ceased and you saw that the wolf was headed straight for you. You couldnât move your legs still, your arms couldnât even lift you from the ground if you tried, and you were still struggling to catch your breath. You had no hope of getting out of the situation you found yourself in. So instead of even trying to get away, you just laid there and let it zero in on you.
Except when you closed your eyes so you didnât have to actually see the wolf charge at you and began mentally preparing yourself for the attack, you soon realized it never came.
When you opened your eyes you could see the wolf clear as day with its muzzle in front of your face. But instead of the ferociousness you caught a glimpse of on its face just as it jumped on your father, you were met with a sweet almost puppy like face that began licking your face.
It quickly stopped licking you once it realized your eyes opened and thatâs when you noticed itâs own big yellow ones staring at you.
You shouldâve been afraid. You shouldâve ran away screaming. You shouldâve at very least been trying to push it away from you. But you werenât. You actually felt⊠relieved that the giant animal was in front of you.
Which was again something that confused you, but it wasnât until it laid down in front of you and emitted a small whine from its body that it clicked in your brain. It made sense why you werenât afraid. There was no reason for you to run away screaming. You didnât need to push the thing away from you.
You werenât in any real danger. It didnât want to see you get hurt. It was protecting you. It wanted to keep you safe. And now that it saw you were preparing for it to hurt you, it calmed down because it didnât want you to be scared of it.
When you pushed yourself up on your forearms and watched the animals strange behavior, you felt a tugging flutter in your heart youâd only gotten from one other person before.
You didnât understand what was happening. You didnât understand why a wolf animal would suddenly come to a girlâs aid in the middle of the day where visitors wondered about frequently. Shouldnât it be in the woods looking for food or something? More importantly, shouldnât it want to hurt you for being foreign to itâs natural habitat?
Before you could personally seek any answers out yourself, someone came in and have them to you in a haste. And that someone was Mr. Qian.
âKids!â He darted to you in a rush, eyes noticeably a similar color to the animal in front of you, âKids are you ok-â Mr. Qian stopped dead in his tracks and sentence to take in the scene in front of him.
As he slowly got closer to you, both you and the wolf lifted your heads to turn in his direction completely.
Mr. Qian cleared his throat to regain some semblance of composure, â___, w-what happened here?â
Thatâs when you finally spoke up and explained what went on, at least, what events you knew for sure took place. You described to him the moments of you and Kun skipping stones, the fact that a man came out of no where to try to hurt you, and that Kun had disappeared.
âOkay thatâs- thatâs extremely worrying. First things first: The man,â Mr. Qian quizzed, seemingly trying to wrap his head around the situation at hand himself, âThe man who tried to hurt you, where is he now?â
You pointed to the newly formed mangled corpse on the ground and told him it was your father and that the wolf came out of no where to protect you. You just werenât sure why.
You also werenât sure if he was truly just as shocked by the whole ordeal as you were or not. His facial expression showed nothing but concern, confusion, and worry. But his eyes gave off nothing but acceptance and compliance.
It wasnât until he sighed heavily and bend down to the wolfâs level that you realized he probably wasnât in awe of the whole scene for the same reason you were.
âSon, youâve gotten us into quite the mess here you know that?â Mr. Qian shook his head with a slight airy laugh, something that caused the wolf to lay itâs head on the ground in a huff, â___, mama is back at the picnic blanket. I want you to go find her and tell her to bring me the supplies she always brings in cases of an emergency. Then i want you to stay at the blanket until we return, okay?â He tilted his head to look at you as he spoke as gently and as simply as he could to not scare you any further.
You vigorously shone your head after taking a moment to process his request, âN-No i canât. What- what about Kun? We have to find him!â You insisted, unwilling to leave your dear friend behind.
Mr. Qian gave you a kind smile and nodded, âDonât worry about my son. Iâll make sure he comes back with us i promise. But itâs not safe for you here and i know that he wouldnât want you in any sort of danger because of him, alright?â
You were going to refuse again and push that you needed to help find him. But before you could protest again, the animal in front of you let out a small whine directed towards you that made your heart ache. And, though you still werenât exactly sure why you felt the need to care about such a weird feeling, so you finally nodded in agreement and went to find Mrs. Qian to do as you were told.
ââ
It took a little while for them to get back to your meet up spot. You had already packed up the lunch you and Mrs. Qian prepared, folded the blanket that was brought to sit on into itâs large designated bag per your foster motherâs request, and began pacing in place before the small family came back.
Seeing Mr and Mrs Qian made you feel better, but seeing a very tired looking Kun nervously walking behind them put you at ease. You didnât care that your father had came back and hurt you. You didnât even care that your father was killed by the giant wolf thing. At that point, all you cared about was Kunâs safety.
So you ran to him the second he got close enough and wrapped your arms around his broad figure, âYouâre okay!â You whimpered into his chest happily, tears threatening to spill from your eyes as Kun returned your embrace.
âOf course Iâm okay ___. Are you?â He pulled you out of your hug and held either side of your face to no doubt check for bruises and injuries, his eyes being a very familiar but different color than you couldâve sworn they used to be.
But truthfully, even if you had any visible wounds, it didnât matter to you. Those would heal. You were just mentally thanking every god that there ever was that he didnât get caught in the cross fire of everything that happened.
You quickly nodded your head to confirm that you were, in fact, okay as you brought your own hand up to hold one of his that he had cupped around your face and squeezed it.
âYes, yes. Everyoneâs alright. But we really do need to be going. We canât take any risks being out and about right now,â Mr. Qian smiled reassuringly.
âWait!â You halted everyone from beginning the journey back to the house, âDonât we need to talk about what happe-â You tried but you were quickly put at ease with Mrs. Qian putting her arm around your waist to usher you to follow them.
âYes dear. We will. Just⊠not here. In fact, wait until we get back home to even think about it, okay? Letâs just be glad everyoneâs okay, okay?â Her warm tone rhetorically questioned you, letting Kun and his father lead you to the car with a fair bit of distance between your two pairs.
ââ
Once you got back to the house, Mrs. Qian told you go up to Kunâs room to get cleaned up so she could refix the lunch you had all missed. You offered to help her as you usually did, but she insisted she had it covered and that you had been through enough for one day.
You did note that she didnât have Kun go get changed the same way you had to. He stayed downstairs to speak with his parents.
As ashamed as you were to say, you did try to listen in to what they were saying as you had a feeling they were trying to get rid of you so they could speak to one another freely. But you recognized that they were speaking Hokkien, a language that, while you understood some due to living with the Qianâs for so long, you werenât even conversational in. So it all sounded like a load of gibberish to you. At least you knew your hunch about them not wanting you to be around so they could speak was correct.
After you changed and made yourself presentable, you finally made your way back downstairs and found all three of them already sitting and mumbling to one another at the dining room table, no lunch in sight.
â___!â Mrs. Qian chirped to get the boys attention, causing them to cease their muffled talk and turn their attention to you.
Mr. Qian simply chuckled at you and made a silly comment about you taking a long time to get ready that you knew was just him teasing you, before he went to help his wife grab all the lunch supplies out of the fridge.
Kun on the other hand, immediately had his eyes locked on you and didnât move an inch.
Not that it was an issue. It never bothered you when the elder boy gave you his undivided attention. You actually rather liked it when he did which, while not necessarily rare, definitely didnt happen every single day as he was generally too busy with school stuff and chores.
This time however, it was almost as if he refused to take his gaze away from you. Even when you pulled your chair out to sit down and cleared your throughly out of nervous habit, he didnât budge. You werenât even sure if he was blinking, not that you knew if he was or wasnât.
You didnt dare to look at him back for more than half a second. Your teeny tiny crush on him plus your naturally introverted personality making such a task far too nerve wrecking for you.
Though even throughout eating lunch and you making small talk with his parents, you still felt his eyes on you. It wasnât a creepy feeling you got when you noticed him staring. It was more of a⊠longing feeling maybe? You werenât too sure if that was the right word you would place it as or not but it was the closest you could get to the right one.
Whatever it was, you just knew it made your stomach do cartwheels and made your cheeks feel as though they were on fire. Almost like your body was embarrassed that he was so openly observed you. In fact, him watching you so intensely had begun to make you a bit self conscious of how messy you couldâve looked eating.
Which was ridiculous. You had lived with the Qianâs for a year at that point. He had shown no sign of attraction to you that you recognized. As far as you knew, he just saw you as a little sister he never got growing up or as a close friend that just happened to live with him and his family. You, being the young girl you were, were just probably reading far too into what he was doing because you secretly wanted him to like you back.
He was probably just worried about you after everything that had happened throughout the day. He was probably just trying to look for any hint of discomfort or sadness by watching you closely. He was just being the good boy his parents raised him to be by looking out for his friend.
So you just had to slap away the butterflies in your belly, cool down the fire against your cheeks, and pretend everything was fine with you as you kept eating your food.
ââ
âAre we gonna talk about it now auntie?â You asked Mrs. Qian as you helped her clean the dishes from lunch.
Her eyes ever so slightly widened at your question and you saw a small panic wash over them, almost as if she had been hoping youâve forgotten what happened earlier in the day.
She cleared her throat at turned to look at Kun, who was on her other side putting the dishes away in the cabinets after you washed and she dried them.
Kun was still acting weird. He wasnât staring you down as he had been earlier, but he definitely wasnât his usual self.
Normal Kun was always joking and laughing with his parents. The Kun you were dealing with was withdrawn and quiet. Normal Kun wouldnât think twice about eating as much dessert as his parents would allow him to. The Kun before you barely even touched his lunch.
You would have understood if he had seen all you had at the park and was just in shock. But he didnât see any of what you saw. He completely disappeared for that matter so you were really confused by his strange behavior.
He deeply sighed while running a shakey hand through his hair before nodding to his mother, who in turn turned to you with a smile, turning off the faucet in front of you and gesturing for you to sit at the table while she went and got Mr. Qian so you could all talk.
Truthfully, you werenât even sure what there was to talk about because you had assumed they knew just as much about what happened as you did. But it just felt⊠odd to have witnessed your own father be killed by a wild animal and not discuss their ideas about what happened. Or at least acknowledge what you saw and potentially go to the authorities. You figured they left his body where it was, not that you cared too much about his final resting place after everything. You just didnât want the Qianâs or yourself to get into trouble for not reporting it.
âOkay ___,â Mr. Qian puffed as he sat in the chair next to you and across from his wife, âWhat do you want to talk about?â
You tilted your head at the older man in confusion, âO-Oh. I- um- i dont know. It just⊠feels weird not to at least say something about it. Itâs weird to like- i dont know- pretend it didnât just happen,â you shrugged, biting the inside of your cheeks to stop yourself from rambling anymore while waiting for one of the other three at the table to say something.
Mr. Qian nodded solemnly in understanding before letting out a long breath, âI see. Todayâs been a very eventful day for everyone.â
Mrs. Qian smiles and shook her head in amusement at her husbandâs obviousness but said nothing. Kun just stared straight at the center of the table, no emotion visible on his face.
âWell, Yeah. I- I mean giant dogs donât just come out of nowhere and maul my dad to death after he also attempted to kill me everyday. So Iâd say itâs been a pretty eventful day,â you tried to semi joke with a side smile, but instead of receiving a similar reaction from the others, you watched as Kun, who sat across from you at the square table, brought his head down almost shamefully to stare at his lap.
The confusion and hurt mustâve been written on your face at the idea of potentially having upset the older boy as Mrs. Qian grabbed and squeezed your hand under the table to comfort you.
At your word choices, Mr. Qian thought it was best for everybody involved that he just lay it all out on the table to prevent you from accidentally saying anything more to upset his son, â___, about the giant dog-â He uncomfortably shifted in his chair, âIt⊠well you see, it wasnât exactly a dog.â
âIt wasnât?â You innocently asked, completely dumbfounded that the large animal youâd met earlier wasnât actually a canine.
âNo sweetheart,â Mrs. Qian answered for her husband, who was looking increasingly distressed by the second, âIt was- well still is that is- a human.â
After Mrs. Qianâs statement, the entire table went completely silent as they all watched you nervously and waited for your reaction. But really, you didnât know how exactly to react.
The thing that stopped your father earlier surely looked like a dog to you. A very very large, very very bizarre dog, but a dog nonetheless. Granted you had never been allowed to own one before, but you still knew what they looked like. You werenât an idiot. It was furry and it had four legs and a muzzle. How could it have been human?
âBut Mr. Qian, you saw it. It was walking on all four legs and it had fluffy fur. Humans donât do that and they donât have fur they have hair!â You reasoned out loud, trying to get the room full of older people to see sanity.
And why wouldnât you have? You didnât know what they knew. You hadnât seen what they had seen. You had no way of knowing that, while they knew you were telling the truth, they were telling you the truth too.
Mr. Qian broke out of his anxiety ridden state once he realized you would probably only listen to him on the matter. You trusted Mrs. Qian and Kun, but as far as you knew, he was the only other one at the table that had even seen the big dog, âYes ________, youâre right. Humans donât have fur. But what you saw, who you saw, wasnât exactly human either,â he clarified, âIt was, well, he is a werewolf.â
You were crazy, thatâs what you decided. You were all crazy. Youâd lost it at seeing the traumatic events youâd seen.
ââŠwhatâŠ?â You spine just above a whisper, not even sure they had heard you.
But you werenât aware that two out of the three people at the table wouldâve definitely heard you yet.
âThe animal that saved you,â Mrs. Qian reaffirmed her husbandâs statement, âWasnât an animal. Not really. It was a werewolf. A human who can turn into a wolf.â
You were sure they could see the disbelief on your face, or at least they could see if in your eyes, âBut werewolves, guys- werewolves donât exist. Thatâs make believe stuff.â
Everyone had their own set of beliefs and morals, you knew that. But they were speaking of fairytales and nonexistent creatures parents told to their children at night to scare them.
You heard Mr. Qian let out an exhausted sigh before you watched him stand up from his chair and gestured for you all to follow him into the living room.
He then said something to Mrs. Qian in Hokkien and she rushed around the room quickly to close all the blinds and curtains.
âDad,â Kun finally spoke fearfully around you for the first time since youâd gotten back from the park, âAre you sure this is a good idea? Isnât there any other way?â
The elder man let out a dry laugh to his son, âXiaodan, sheâs been here for a year now. I think we all know her well enough to know that the only way sheâll believe us is if she sees it.â
And just like that, you watched as Mr. Qian began to grow his nails into what you could only call claws. You could only stare in shock as his usual perfectly squared smiled transformed into elongated fangs and black fur began to emit itself from his skin. You listened as you heard what you could only assume was bones breaking and moving inside his body. You witnessed the usually rather average size, meek Mr. Qian turn into a creature similar looking to the one that protected you earlier in the day.
For a moment, you thought you were going to pass out and fall over from the flush of color suddenly draining from your face. But before your buckling knees could drop you to the ground, Kun caught you with ease and held you against his strong body to compensate for yohr weakened one.
ââ
âSo you do like him then?â Mrs. Qian asked you as you helped her make dinner.
With a darkening blush on your face you squealed, âAiya auntie! Donât put words in my mouth!â You giggled continuing to finely dice the onion as you were told.
After they told you, more like showed you, that werewolves existed, it took you a while to swallow the new truth you had been given. Once the Qianâs deemed you had accepted the idea as reality, they began to tell you more about them.
Between the knowledge that Mr and Mrs Qian and Kun had collectively given you, you thought it was safe to say you were an expert. At least, as much of an expert as one who didnât actually turn into a werewolf could be on werewolves.
Youâd learned all about how werewolves are genetically produced and not created by bites like some movies suggested. You learned that the fact that they traveled and found their own packs was true, but that they didnât actually have to have a full moon to shift. You learned about alphas, something that apparently Mr. Qian, and eventually Kun when he matured enough, were and that they were the leaders of said packs.
They told you about werewolf hunters and how they tried to kill as many werewolves as possible with silver, but that if theyâre wounded by something not made of silver they can usually regenerate and heal themselves pretty quickly. They told you that, while they had potions or contacts to conceal their real eye color, getting highly emotional could easily burn through either and show their true colors.
And thanks to Mr. Qianâs meticulously âno filterâ way of teaching, during one of his lessons you learned about rut, which happens once a season for males, and heat, which happens one week every month for females. It was during the very same lesson that you learned about mates and imprinting.
Which were, in Mrs. Qianâs words, essentially soul mates werewolves got instantly by looking at someone fate decided they needed to stay with forever. Apparently every werewolf had one, some unlucky werewolves even imprinted on the same person. But each wolf only had one themselves unless something happened to their mate. Then fate would do another lottery guessing game and let them have another one.
Mr. Qian made mates seem so scientifically simple. Mrs. Qian always made it sound much more serious and heartfelt. She insisted that, while her husband was right for the most part, he neglected to emphasize just how strong the feelings could be and that nothing else in the world could ever compare. According to her, everyone and everything practically falls off the face of the earth to a werewolf once he or she meets this mate and no one else will ever matter romantically to them again.
While you enjoyed the sentiment, you also wished Mr. Qianâs calmer version was more true than Mrs. Qianâs Romeo and Juliet version. You were glad that werewolves got to have the same happily ever after that everyone deserved. You were just sad that you would never get yours.
Werewolves apparently instantly fall in love with their mate and imprint at first sight. If it doesnât happen then, it wonât happen later. Meaning Kun would get a happily ever after without you in it.
That sad reality hit your fragile little teenage heart more than you had ever meant for it to, and it mustâve been pretty obvious too. Because Mrs. Qian couldnât seem to stop teasing you for your little crush on him ever since.
Mrs. Qian scoffed, âIâm not putting words in your mouth. Iâm just asking a question i already know the answer to.â
âAnd how do you KNOW the answer already huh auntie?â You raised your eyebrow at her.
Because she had caught you crying over your pathetic teenage feeling for him a few days prior. You hadnât told her that was why you were crying of course, she just⊠knew.
âBecause a mother always knows ___.â She proudly smiled, taking your finished onions pieces and adding them to her pan.
Mrs. Qian treated you like the daughter she never had. And anytime she implied or referred to you as her daughter, it made you unbelievably happy. But when she brought the topic up when she had also been trying to get you to admit your unrequited love for her son, you couldnât help but let the cosmic knife that hit your heart force you to miss a breath.
You didnât know why she had insisted on bringing the topic up over and over again or why she wouldnât just lay it to rest already. You both knew your feelings for him would amount to nothing even if you had told the truth.
Because Kun had already shifted. In fact, the first time he had was when he protected you from your father, which was a detail he was too ashamed to admit to you for the first couple months after it happened. You werenât even sure why he felt that way. Your father was a monster in your book and, in your eyes, Kun had saved your life.
But it was because he had already shifted to protect you that you knew your feelings for him were nothing more than a school girl crush that never meant to be spoken about in the light of day. He wouldâve imprinted on you that day if you were his mate and since he hadnât told you he had when he told you he was a werewolf too, you knew he didnât.
âKnowing stuff is overrated sometimes though auntie,â you sadly shrugged because you had started to think about how you and Kun werenât meant to be, âSometimes knowing stuff is a lot more painful than not knowing stuff.â
It was soon after this sentence that you began to feel burning tears brimming your waterlines and you had to excuse yourself so that you didnât end up crying over everyoneâs dinner, much to your foster motherâs dismay. But you knew in the end your decision to stop making dinner was what was best for everyone.
What you didnât know however, was that when Kun got home from school Mrs. Qian was waiting for him. She told him how she thought you ran out on making that nights dinner with her because she had made you upset in her efforts to get you to admit your feelings for him.
Kun had been careful. He had been really really careful on how he interacted with you since he shifted. He never got too close to you, made sure to keep contact minimal, kept conversation light and simple, and refused to be left alone with you. He didnât want to scare you away.
You had been so initially hesitant about werewolves and everything having to do with them, which was something that wasnât helped by him attacking your father to keep him from laying his hands on you. He didnât want to overburden you with more stuff that could cause you to have an emotional breakdown.
He didnât want to tell you that even though you were already struggling with the idea of werewolves existing, he had imprinted on you which meant you were his mate.
But when his mother sat him down and told him he needed to be 100% honest with you because you were breaking down thinking he didnât love you the way you loved him, he raced up the stairs to tell you the truth.
And thatâs where he found you crying in his bedroom under his old comforter. He couldnât help the small whine that escaped his lungs at seeing you so sad and hurt because of something he unintentionally caused. He pulled you onto his lap and let you cry for as long as you needed to before he told you you were his mate.
He actually practically got on his hands and knees so he could beg you to get you to forgive him for making you question his love for you. But you werenât mad at him, you were just happy he told you because it meant that no one could take him away from you. Then Kun got happy because you accepting him mesnt no one could take you away from him. And everything seemed like it was gonna be okay.
Even after the both of you and your newly formed pack had to flee your home country so you wouldnât get killed like some of your friends and their families had, you still didnât really care all that much about the dangers and the hardships. When other packs came and tried to hurt yours you were never worried. When you had no money and no possessions but the clothes on your backs, you never once batted an eye. Because at the end of the day, you always had Kun by your side.
Thatâs how you and Qian Kun became the power couple. Thatâs why everyone knew you as the âitâ couple. Thatâs why some of the other couples even in your own pack envied what you both had.
No matter how stressful your respective college majors got, you never took it out on each other. No matter how limited your time got with each other due to crazy schedules, you never have up on making time with one another. No matter what life threw at either of you, you never once fought. No matter how hard the universe tried to break you down, you never once let the other break apart. No matter how tall the waves of misery and sorrow got, you never let the other drown. You were unbreakable together.
He was the love of your life. He was your other half. He was your soul mate. He was your world. But as you stood in the kitchen of your student Genjiâs boyfriendâs home, you soon realized that those titles now also applied to a boy named Joshua Hong.
Warnings: anxiety to the maximum, questioning of sexuality i guess, controlling and manipulative parents, existential crisis mentions, sex mentions/implications but nothing too serious, bad influence Ten, mentions of cheating (though the couple doesnât really care for each other anyways sođ€·đ»ââïž), mentions of forced/arranged marriages, crying and couple fighting, i think thatâs it but let me know if i missed anything!
Authorâs Note: the ending is kinda word vomit so Iâm gonna go back through it in a few days when i have time. Other than that, what do you guys think?
Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! Theyâre just for fun/entertainment!
Watch It All Burn Masterlist
The Confused One: Part 1
Mostly anxiety and đ„ with a teeny tiny bit of đ if you squint.
Bold= Korean Dialogue Italics= Thoughts Pink= Cantonese Red=Mandarin Green=English
Tag List-
âAm I making you feel good?â
Truth be told, you felt terrible. You felt like a horrible person. You felt like you were just another guy letting his dick do the thinking instead of his head. But you couldnât admit that to him out loud.
âFuck- yes!â
The dry chuckle you heard from the boy behind you made you feel like you needed to throw up. This wasnât you. It couldnât be you. But it was.
âI know baby.â
His words sent shivers down your aching spine. Every part of you yearned for him. Every cell in you wanted him to want you the way you wanted him. But that was wrong, so so fucking wrong.
âAre you close?â
You couldnât help it. Your girlfriend hardly gave you the time of day. You tried to be understanding and rational given your situation with her. But you needed the release she so frequently denied you and he was willingly dangling it in front of you, it was yours for the taking.
âI- I need to come!â
Waves of lightning shot through every one of your veins deliciously as you felt your body shake back your orgasm. You'd never been touched the way he was touching you. Youâd never been used the way he was using you. You'd never felt the way you felt with him. You knew you shouldnât give in. But you just couldnât stop yourself.
âOf course you do love.â
Part of you hated how sweet he sounded. The butterflies fluttering throughout your belly at his sentence shouldâve made you hate yourself. But it only made you like him even more.
âNow, are you gonna be a good boy and come for me?â
You wanted to cry. The pleasure he was forcing on you and the guilt your mind was making you feel was all too much for you to handle. You shouldnât have been there. You shouldâve been at home studying. But you chose to be with him instead.
Though, just as you felt your body start to convulse in the constant jolting it so desperately craved, an all too familiar sound started buzzing through your ears and your eyes youâd thought youâd closed due to the pure ecstasy youâd been enduring shot open in shock.
The all too familiar decorum of your boring beige room cascading throughout your line of sight had begun being a painful reminder of just how much youâd wished your dreams were real.
âThey could be,â Ten had promised you when you mentioned your secret shame to him during one of your many midnight rendezvous, âYou just have to say the word.â
You rolled your eyes at the burning memory and the charming boys' tempting words. As if youâd ever get the option to back out of your sad sham of a life you were living.
But that was Ten, the ever so care free and unpredictable boy who changed the course of his own destiny on the turn of a dime. Heâd never understand why things had to stay the way they were for you.
Then again, he lived a completely different life than he lived. Not just because you were a goody goody and he just, well, wasnât. But because he had different problems than you did. After the two of you had gotten together, you began corresponding with one another daily. After months of confiding in each other over just about every thought, feeling, and experience you had, he eventually told you he was a werewolf.
Of course you didnât believe him at first. And Why would you? It sounded ridiculous at the time. It even sounded ridiculous when he took his contacts out to show you his strangely inhuman eye color. It wasnât until he actually shifted in front of you that you had actually come to terms with what he said being the truth.
Not that the truth changed much. You needed a little time to get over the idea of fairytales and fables possibly being true but once you had, you realized he was still the same Ten you had come to know and love.
He was still kind and caring, still funny and charming. He still made you smile in a way you werenât sure you ever did before he came around. He still lit up your world in a way no one else ever seemed to be able to. He still made you feel things no one else ever had or probably ever would. And he still made your pathetically dull and plain life worth something for the first time.
Everything with him was so simple. His chaos was the perfect fit to your calm. His crazy was steadied by your levelheadedness. He brought fire to your life and you brought water to his. Being with him would be as easy as breathing. But it just wasnât meant to be.
Sure, in a perfect world youâd love to be with him. But your parents would never allow your little affair to continue if they knew it existed. Not only did Ten bring the exact opposite of everything their plans for you represented, he was also untouchable in their eyes for people like them.
Ten was a practicing Buddhist foreigner from Thailand. He was in the right economic class as you which might have helped when it came to him being a foreigner to your snotty parents sure. But even if his family did have a pretty big privy purse to match the extravagant scenery his country was known for, it didnât change two simple facts: 1. He was a boy and 2. Your parents were freakishly religious Christians.
They would rather be killed than let their only beloved son be with a non-christian, non-Korean, party boy. You could almost hear the disapproval dripping from their voices as you thought of what would happen if you told them what you really wanted of your life.
âNo son of ours will make a mockery of this family by being with the likes of him.â
You felt massively naive for not realizing how ridiculously uptight and homophobic they were when you were younger. The reality only dawned on you when you realized just how much more you liked being with Ten than your own girlfriend, something you tried to keep under wraps as much as possible.
But you were positive the fact became apparently to her the first time you had all hung out together when you brought her new âfriendâ over for a project and she noted just how quickly you became friendly with the Thai boy, a rather odd occurance considering how painfully shy you were by nature.
Still, she said nothing and pretended to see nothing. All the nights you snuck out to see him, all the times you left the room to take a call so you could hear his voice, all the hurried messages youâd type and send to him throughout the day while blocking your phone screen from view. She acted as though she hadnât noticed your growing affections for him and that all was going on as normal with your relationship.
You werenât too shocked by the move. You had both realized long ago that you werenât in love with each other but rather created a compromised friendship in the hopes of making the best of a bad situation. If you werenât weary about whether or not sheâd break your big secret to either of your parents accidentally, you wouldâve openly even told her about it. You hated lying and sneaking around her back because you knew it wasnât respectful. But you felt you just didnât have another choice. You just couldnât risk it.
So, like many morning before your current one, you quickly got up from your bed, your girlfriend still snoring softly from her side of your shared mattress, and bolted to the bathroom to clean yourself and your shame up.
As you washed away the sticky substance that had accumulated against your abdomen while your shower head pelted your body with hot divets of water, Tenâs words kept playing through your mind like a broken record.
âYou just have to say the word.â
If only your life could be that easy.
ââ
âOh,â Your girlfriend, Hae, groggily spoke from bed while rubbing her eyes as you emerged from the bathroom of your apartment with your towel draped across your waist, âYouâre up already.â
You gave her a polite, albeit awkward, smile and nodded, âYeah, I uh- woke up early again and figured instead of sleeping I should just try to get a fast start on the day, you know,â You lied, going to your dresser to rummage through it so you could find yourself some clothes to wear.
She bowed her head in understanding as she watched you go about the room so you could get ready. Observing you was something she did a lot, it was another reason you just knew she already knew about you and Ten, but that didnât mean it made you any less nervous.
Being around her, even when you were children, had always made you nervous and on edge. Then again being around people usually made you feel that way. Well, people aside from Ten that is.
âWeâre supposed to have dinner with your parents tonight,â She reminded you, breaking the uneasy silence that had rested throughout the air causing you to jerk your eyes away from buttoning your pants and bringing them up to look at her in horror.
âD-Dinner? W-What dinner?â You stuttered.
She mumbled something about you never remembering anything before she exhaustedly ran her fingers through her hair, âThe dinner your mom texted you about the other day. You know, the one where she said they wanted to talk to us about something important? Ring a bell?â
Your eyes widened even further. It did ring a bell. Mostly because you remembered sheer panic spreading through your body as you received and read the message. Your parents hardly ever actually saw you except on holiday breaks now that you were in college. So when your mother texted you out of the blue and requested the four of you have a meal together, you couldnât help but be so worried about what their intentions were for the dinner that you forgot all the details you had discussed.
âO-oh yeah,â You thickly swallowed the whine ready to pass through your throat, âY-Yeah I remember. But- uh remind me again what time it was scheduled for exactlyâŠ?â
Hae rolled her eyes at you in disbelief, clearly no more excited for the event than you were, âItâs at 6pm ____. And you know if weâre late thereâll be hell to pay,â She added with a raised brow, getting up out of bed to throw on her own clothes for class, âSo you need to make sure that whatever it is you were planning on doing at that time tonight gets moved to another time okay?â
Okay, you were 100% positive she knew about what you had been up to considering you had originally been planning on seeing your secret boyfriend at that exact time later.
âYeah,â You tried to play it cool, âyeah of course. I wonât be late I promise.â
You truly meant what you said. You didnât want her to be stuck stalling with your annoyingly boring and judgmental parents while you went out and had fun. If she knew about your little other life and was willing to keep it mum, then you figured the least you could do was have her back when it came to dealing with them.
âI hope not. Because if I have to listen to your father talk about the importance of cosmetic surgery as you age again Iâm gonna throw myself out the second story window,â She laughed, causing you to force out a small chuckle of amusement as you planned out how you were gonna tell your boyfriend you couldnât meet up with him because you and your girlfriend were going to meet up with your parents, whoâd never approve of him and could never know of him, for dinner.
ââ
âSeriously?â Ten practically growled through gritted teeth as you sat and ate a very late lunch across from him on a patch of grass that was just out of view from your universityâs campus.
To say you felt bad was a bit of an understatement. You had originally just decided it was best to just tell him you had to reschedule your little date, if you could even call it that, for another time because something came up. But, as he always seemed to have a way of getting you to open up about any and everything, you ended up telling him the whole story.
You told him you had forgotten about dinner with your parents, that they would probably hate him if they knew he existed or was in your life in any capacity let alone a romantic one, that you didnât want to go but had to because you didnât want your girlfriend to suffer through it alone, and that your girlfriend seemed to already know about the two of you being together and didnât seem to care. And of course as you originally assumed, he was pissed at the explanation you gave.
âIf she already knows about us then why are you still even with her?â He quizzed with a hint of venom lacing his tone, his true eye color beginning to seep through his fake contacts.
All you could do was let out a deep sigh, âYou know why.â
But your answer only seemed to aggravate him more. He stood from his cross cross position on the grass and stared down at you with now fully crimson eyes, this time with flaring nostrils, claws beginning to elongate from his fingers, and a jaw so clenched you were sure his teeth would break.
âNo I donât know why!â He protested, clearly doing what he could to contain his anger for your sake, though you also knew he couldnât help some of it.
After you had come to terms with werewolves being real and with actually knowing one, Ten answered just about every question you could think of involving them.
He practically gave you lessons on imprinting and mating. He talked about a really weird time when wolves got super sexually aggressive called rut. He had you meet his pack and disclosed to you how pack business and connections worked, thatâs also when you found out your favorite student was not only in said pack but also mated to Tenâs baby sister along with another one of their âbrothers.â
But most importantly, he told you all about shifting. You realized his claws and teeth could grow whenever he wished and that his body even rejected the contacts he used to cover his eyes so often he had to change them multiple times in a day to keep people from seeing their true color. He explained the whole âchanging during a full moonâ thing was complete horse crap and that they could change at will, at least, most of the time.
You knew when he got too emotional, whether it was good or bad emotional, he could end up shifting out of instinct. And he cautioned you that people could get hurt when that happened, much like his sister Minnie apparently had when her mates fought over her and lost control. Though he swore he would do whatever he could to keep a similar situation from happening to you, not that you were ever really worried about it considering Ten was the only person in the world who made you feel safe and secure.
But as he towered toward you, part of you did start to get a little worried, even if it was only for a moment, he could turn into a super strong giant animal after all while you were just a weaker than most human he could crush with one paw.
As angry as he had worked himself up to be and as much as you tried to not show your fear, he noticed you shrink into yourself and turned away from you to collect himself. He may have been mad and hurt, but he didnât want to scare or frighten you.
Truthfully, you didnât understand why he was so upset. Sure you were still in a relationship, but what did it really matter to him if you were or not?
You always thought you had felt for him maybe a tad more than he felt for you anyways. Thanks to your newfound werewolf knowledge, you figured it was because at any moment he could imprint on a passerbyer and heâd have to dump you so he distanced himself. It stung, really stung actually, but it was what it was and you knew that.
You thought you both did. Thatâs why whenever he talked about wanting you to give up your current life and try for a new one with him you didnât really entertain the idea much at all, even if you really wanted to. You were just a human who had trouble controlling emotions and severing ties and he was a werewolf whoâd have no control over who fate decided to pair him up with.
Having to reschedule sucked yeah, but it wasnât like the love of his life was blowing him off for someone else and telling him they could never be together.
Ten never told you he imprinted on you. He figured it was a lot for someone as nervous as you to take in all at once. So he decided to wait until he thought you were ready for it.
He always figured once you told your girlfriend or she found out about your little affair, the two of you would finally get to be together fully. But he was wrong.
Now you didnât know you blowing him off for someone else and telling him you could never be together was crushing him. You didnât know the reason tears were now flowing freely down his face was because it felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest at your so nonchalant refusal to leave your girlfriend. You didnât know you were the love of his life.
âI donât know why it has to be like this and i donât think itâs fair for it to be happening,â Ten said just above a whisper, barely audible to your human ears.
You called his name to get his attention, but he seemed cemented in his place and wouldnât move. You tried once more and received no response once more.
So you eventually got up from your spot on the ground hesitantly and gently laid your hand on his shoulder, âTen?â
Finally, he turned himself around to face you. Thatâs when you saw his tear stained cheeks and pulled him in for a hug instinctually and without thinking.
He was quick to return it, wrapping his arms around your waist as he buried himself against you and sobbed âitâs not fairâ over and over in English.
Ten hadnât meant to start crying in front of you. Even if he had, he wouldnât have so easily let himself be wrapped up in your arms. But he couldnât stop himself once the pain of you basically telling him you wouldnât leave your girlfriend even if she knew the truth.
Because it meant heâd still have to share you. Heâd still only get partial moments with you and not full ones. Heâd still have to restrain himself from grabbing your hand and lacing his fingers between yours in public. Youâd still be saying goodnight and good morning to someone else that wasnât him. Youâd still be sleeping with and sharing the same bed with someone who wasnât himself.
You acting like your girlfriend knowing about the two of you changed nothing meant heâd have to keep living a hallow life in the shadows while your girlfriend got to keep living a filling life in the light with you. It hurt him in a way he wasnât ready for and so he broke down. And instead of pulling away from you like he shouldâve if he had been stronger, his heartbroken inner wolf yearned for your touch and gave in to you holding him.
When he was upset normally, you were who heâd turn to to comfort him. Now that he was faced with the harsh reality of having to hide your love from the rest of the world, you were the only person that could make him feel even remotely better.
ââ
After about half an hour of crying and sobbing, Ten eventually calmed down enough to relax back down to your original spots. You apologized for having to see each other again at another time and promised to make it up to him, something he unconvincingly responded to with âokay.â
And, while it made your chest hurt to know he was still so upset over something you really had no control over, time had gotten away from you and you soon had to leave him to get ready for dinner.
And dinner was going okay enough. You had arrived together with Hae on time, dressed sharper than you had been earlier in the day as per your parents usual dress code. Even though the food you knew there was no way either of your parents cooked was good, the conversation was as dull as the day was long. That is, until desert came and your father halted everyone from digging in to their treats.
â____, Iâm sure the two of you are wondering why your mother and I wanted you and Hae over today,â Your father accurately pointed out, taking another sip of his brandy with a light hiss.
You cleared your throat to keep your voice steady after having it go unused for most of the evening due to your parents obsessing need to talk about themselves, âYes father, I suppose we are.â
Truthfully, you didnât even really like your dad all that much. Even more truthfully, you didnât really like either of your parents all that much, but you disliked your dadâs personality more than your motherâs.
Sure, your mother had no idea what quality family time or house work/chores were, she had maids and nannyâs hired especially for all that, but at least she put in the effort to send you a text message every now and then to make sure you were still alive. You were pretty sure youâd never once received any form of distant communication from your father.
So listening to him go on and on about his work and how all your friends mustâve been jealous of you for how much money your parents made really made you want to cave into your seat and disappear.
Your father was quick to glance over to your mother, who strangely gave him a nod of approval before he continued on, âWell ____ my son, your mother and I, as well as Haeâs parents, believe it time the two of you finally get married and start a family.â
Hae, who had just been in the middle of swallowing some much needed wine, began coughing aggressively while you stared up at your beaming parents in pure confusion.
âW-WhatâŠ?â You barely murmured out just as your girlfriend managed to get her coughing under control and began to question âcome again?â
Your father let out a hardy laugh while your mother mustered a strangled giggle, âMarriage son. Then children. Just as we planned remember?â
You shook your head as if to shake out all the unpleasant feelings beginning to build up in your stomach, âN-No. W-We planned for later father. Much much later.â
âYeah. We werenât supposed to do any of that till after we both graduated and had our careers where we needed them to be.â Hae confirmed.
But it seemed it didnât matter much to your parents what had been originally scheduled anymore, âYes we know that children,â Your mother ever so nonlovingly replied with an eye roll, âBut the plans have changed.â
The fact that she said something so life changing so casually and finished her sentence by taking another rather chill sip of her expensive wine only made your stomach churn that much more. That meant they had already had their mindâs dead set on the idea.
They went on to explain that your maternal grandfather was getting sick, very sick. And it seemed that his dying wish was that his only grandchild be settled down and married, hopefully with a child on the way, before he passed. Which meant your parents had to have their plan jump started a little, or you would say a lot, sooner than anticipated.
Your father told you that the two of you would be married as soon as your mother could put together a lavish enough wedding to impress their friends and that afterwards, you would switch universities to one closer to the house they would get ready for you and you would finish your degrees there. He also stressed the need and want for a child as soon as the two of you were happily, though not by either you or Haeâs standards, married.
You were unsure of what was going on for the rest of the night, but you could guess based on where your parents' statements were heading. You started to feel dizzy and flushed and essentially blacked out the remainder of your visit with them so you wouldnât burst into tears right then and there. It wasnât until you and Hae managed to get to your car that you finally broke down.
Part of you expected her to be upset with you for not at least pretending to be happy when the two of you were together. The other part thought she might even be pissed at you for doing something as childish as crying. But to your shock, when you looked over to your right, she had the same drops of despair rolling down to her chin.
The two of you stayed like that for what seemed like forever, just staring off into the distance as tear after tear was shed in mourning of your previously mediocre lives. You never know what you had until itâs gone.
âWhat in the hell are we going to do?â
ââ
âNo! You canât!â Ten declared loudly with a stomp, almost as if the small childlike protest would help change what was to come.
But, as much as you wish it would, you knew that it wouldnât change a thing. Your fate was set in stone long ago.
You let out a long winded sigh and ran a shakey hand through your hair while you tried to find something to focus on to ground your never ending nerves, âI donât have any other choice Ten.â
After having fallen asleep after a nightâs worth of dry heaving and silent sobbing, you called him the next morning to tell him you needed to speak with him about something important. Once youâd met up in your usual spot in the woods just off your universityâs campus, you told him all about the previous night and what had happened with your parents at dinner. And he was clearly taking the news about as well as you and Hae were taking it.
âThereâs always a choice!â Ten practically yelled at you, doing his best to hold back both the pathetic whines threatening to spill out of his mouth and the burning tears trying to pour past his waterlines, âYou can tell them no! You can say-say you donât want to! Y-You can call it off!â
You still didnât fully understand why he was so upset over you having to get married and break things off. Sure youâd been sleeping together and all, but it wasnât like youâd be together forever. You both had known that since youâd started your little hang outs and midnight rendezvous.
Heâd eventually have broken up with you when he found his mate and youâd eventually have had to cut contact with him when you got married. That was just how it was and you thought youâd both been pretty clear about that.
Even though part of you never wanted to leave his side and wouldâve preferred to at least keep him in your life once youâd had to get married, you could never do that to your girlfriend.
Hae was many things, but a bad person wasnât one of them. She didnât deserve to have an unfaithful husband or to be reminded of his past infidelities by having your ex-lover brought around all the time.
Still, seeing Ten so hurt broke a piece of you. You had fallen for him the night of the party and ever since seeing him in any sort of distress made you went to smother him with kisses and cuddle him until he felt better.
So the only thing your heart could think to do was apologize to him, even though you hadnât actually done anything to him to warrant one in the first place, âThis is just the way itâs supposed to go. I canât do anything about it. Iâm sorry.â
Ten just scoffed at you like you had just spit in his face directly.
âNo, don't you get it?!â He tried to question with an angry tone, but really it came off as more desperate sounding if anything, âThis isnât the way itâs supposed to go!â
The statement caught you off guard. You were standing in the middle of a forest clearing doing your best to hold yourself together to break things off with the guy you had such strong feelings for you couldnât separate yourself from him for much longer than a few hours. You were trying to do the right thing by being nice and apologetic while he started freaking out on you. Like he was the one who got the short end of the rotted stick that was your life.
How was that fair? You were the one who had to marry someone you didnât love. You were the one who had to give up the one good thing youâd managed to ever find in your life. You were the one who had to be a stand up guy, a good son.
If you were anyone else, youâd have been able to pick your own friends growing up. If you were any other kid on the block, you wouldnât have been forced into an arranged marriage. If you were like any other college student, youâd have been able to pick your university or your own major. If you had been literally any fucking body else in the world, youâd be able to fall in love with someone and stay in love and with them for as long as you lived. So how was any of what he was saying fair to you?
You could see why he would maybe be a little bummed, hell, you could maybe even see him being a bit sad youâd have to break things off. But why the hell was it supposed to just be so cool that he could pretend you were being the bad guy and deny what you were saying?
Youâd tried being kind and youâd attempted being amicable and understanding. But his sentence ran through your heart quicker than a damn bullet train. âThis isnât the way itâs supposed to go.â
As if he knew anything about what life meant for you going forward.
Why did he get to stand there and act like you were the bad guy? Why should he get to pretend you got a choice in anything? Why was he able to question you or make you feel bad? What was he losing? Heâd eventually get a happily ever after, you wouldnât. Heâd get to live the life he wanted, you wouldnât. Heâd get to grow old with the love of his life, you would never get that.
âAnd how do you know that?â Your demeanor changed from your usual passive self to a rather defensive one as your hands closed into a fist and clenched tightly, âYouâre the one that doesnât get it!â You chuckled dryly, leaving Ten dumbfounded as you towered over him, âI donât like this anymore than you do!â Your voice began getting louder and higher pitched the more you spoke, âAnd neither does Hae for that matter! But there is no calling it off!â You finished, your body beginning to tremble in aggravation and frustration as you stared down your boyfriend.
It only took glaring at him for a few seconds for you to notice that heâd semi-sunk into his shoes at your new found sudden confidence to speak your mind. He almost looked rather⊠frightened that youâd finally managed to obtain a backbone.
But as overwhelmed and overworked with the situation as you were, you couldnât let someone you cared so much about stay so obviously worried over your current state and not at least try to hold back some of your rage.
So you managed to turn yourself around and sit your lanky figure down on a fallen over tree log to calm yourself down, or at very least make yourself look less menacing. Not that you probably were to him in all reality since he was a werewolf that could rip you to shreds easily if he wanted to after all. But you wanted to show him it was your life you were truly mad at, not him.
âNot all of us have a plan literally designed by fucking date to give us happiness like werewolves do,â you whispered as you threw your head into your hands, âUs humans get whatever the fuck life throws at us and unfortunately for me this is it,â you began to muffley sob behind your hands, unable to keep your true emotions back any longer, âI donât get a mate like you and your friends. I donât get to be happy with one person i love for the rest of my life like you. I get whatever my parents plan for me or Iâm fucking screwed,â after that, you cried hard over and over about life being unfair and how you didnât want it anymore than he did until your throat hurt.
You couldnât help it. Your life as you knew it before him was already intolerable and the one good thing, the one fucking thing youâd managed to find to bring some happiness to yourself was being taken away from you because you had to be a decent human being. You were close to having a full on mental breakdown at that point. And because he just happened to be around you, your boyfriend had to be the one to listen to you choked wails and curses as you cracked at the seams.
It wasnât until you felt Tenâs nimble hand lay against your back and his warmth sit still next to you that you began to collect yourself enough to speak like a regular person again, âI hate fate for putting me in this position! I hate my parents for forcing shit on me I don't want!â You whimpered in a pout, Ten drying your eyes with the pads of his thumb before shushing you and bringing your head into the apex of his neck to comfort you.
Not that it helped much, because now that the flood gates were broken, you couldnât help but vocalize everything that had been truly bothering you since youâd met him. It also didnât help that the angle he had you in was also a bit awkward due to your height difference, which meant you were a little uncomfortable when you breathed too hard and jerking in his hold.
âA-And I hate you for dangling happiness right in front of my fucking face knowing i canât do shit about it! I hate myself for fucking letting myself fall in love with you w-when i canât fucking have you!â You turned and sniffled to look into his shoulder, too ashamed to hold your face against him while you told him how you really felt, âI fucking hate this whole situation more than you or my parents or Hae or anyone else will ever know,â you let the now tired tears slide down your cheeks and chin onto his nicely ironed dress shirt.
As you let a deafening silence fall over you because Ten didnât react to your confession, you couldnât help but think how you always liked when he dressed up even nicer than he usually did when he saw you. It made you feel like he wanted to put in the extra effort to be even more presentable for you and gave you the most ecstatic butterflies in your stomach thinking the man you loved cared that much about you.
Though in the current moment, it only made your chest ache even more knowing youâd probably never get that feeling again, âBut it doesnât fucking matter! None of that fucking matters because my life as I know it is o-over and thereâs not a damn thing I can do about it!â You stuttered as you exhaustedly cried against the smaller boy like a defeated child.
You clung to Ten like you were going to fall away from the earth if you let go of him. You didnât know when or even if youâd ever be able to hold him so tightly again. So you refused to release him from your grip even when you began letting the tired sobs wreck through your weakened body.
But after a few minutes of you hiccuping and whining, the small Thai boy finally pulled together enough courage to speak, still keeping you tight against him as he spoke softly, âY-You love me?â
What kind of dumb ass question was that? You couldnât help but push yourself off his shoulder and jerk back to stare at his face, your own no doubt red from the constant tears and hyperventilating, âOh fuck off!â You used language you wouldnât have normally used to show him your annoyance at his statement, then again, you werenât normally in the position to lose someone you loved as much as you loved Ten, âDonât act all shocked now! If you didnât notice it before then youâre as big a moron as I am for letting myself get caught up with you!â
You never really meant to be so informal or improper, it just wasnât how you were raised to be. Even when you were upset, though youâd let out a few swear words out of frustration, youâd never actually told someone to fuck off. Nor had you ever called someone as impolite a name as moron before.
But Ten had a way of bringing out a side of you you had never thought existed before. Itâs one of the things youâd grown to love about him. And one of the things youâd miss the most about him.
Barely above a whisper, you heard Ten stutter, âI-I though- I mean, I- I didnât knowâŠâ
You used the sleeves of your cardigan you had thrown on before you left your house to wipe off your face in an attempt to look a bit more presentable and stable, not that it worked much considering how roughly you had been crying only moments prior. But you had to try.
âWell now you do, happy?â You asked rhetorically, looking down to the forest floor at your feet as you tried to figure out what to do now that you had let your true colors show.
Though once an awkward and slightly uncomfortable silence, something youâd never experienced before with Ten as youâd never ran out of things to say with him before, took place for longer than a minute, your body went into survival mode and did what it always did when things got awkward: ramble.
âItâs not like it changes shit for you anyways,â you tried to half heartedly joke to lighten the mood, âYou still get to imprint and love and be happy and ride off into the sunset and all the bullshit I read about in books.â
Learning was always a love of yours. You and the others around you considered yourself a bookworm for it. Some of your favorite stories involved good ending romances. A small part of you had secretly hoped that maybe your relationship with Ten would receive the happy ending you in your stories that you so deeply craved. But fairytales were just make believe. Your own current desperate situation was living proof of that.
âI donât because I have to get married because a forced arranged marriage is the best thing someone like me is ever gonna get,â You sighed, picking at your finger nails out of nervous habit while trying to keep the once more burning feeling in your eyes from making matters worse as you let out the words.
Because admitting it all out loud stung almost as much as keeping it all in. Really, what other choice did you have but your arrangement with Hae? Even if you somehow managed to convince your parents to call it off, you just knew youâd never find someone youâd love as much as youâd come to love Ten. So it was your only real option at that point anyways.
Ten nearly immediately started shaking his head at your sad words, âNo, itâs not.â
But it was. And that was probably what hurt the most. The best you could get was a set up arrangement by your parents to some girl whereas the guy you really wished you could be with would end up loving someone the way you loved him.
Youâd just be a distant memory to him then. Heâd get to find someone the universe deemed fit enough to be his soul mate and heâd probably forget you even existed. Then it hit you: Heâd forget you one day.
Heâd forget you and even if he did care even the slightest bit enough about you to remember some part of you and what you had together, heâd probably only remember the bad things.
Humans always remembered the stuff that hurt. And one of the last few memories heâd have of you was you yelling and crying at him, making it seem like the whole situation was because of him.
Youâd told him you hated him for godâs sake. Surely heâd remember that if he remembered anything about you at all.
âFuck Iâm sorry,â You winced, hoping he wouldnât be able to see the sorrow and the new tears building up in your eyes as the pain in your chest grew worse with each passing thought, âTen none of this is on you and none of it is your fault.â You hated how sensitive you got sometimes because it meant crying over and over was something you did frequently, and you were sure he must have hated it too, âIâm just⊠upset and depressed. You should just probably leave because I donât see it stopping anytime soon and I don't want to upset you or say anything else I don't mean to say.â
You sniffled, attempting to steady your breathing so the Thai boy could leave your line of vision in peace without being disturbed by your waterworks. Then you could break down all you wanted.
But instead of seeing his figure walk off into the distance, you heard him voice out the word, âNo.â
âW-What do you mean no?â
âNo, I'm not leaving. No, i wonât be happy. No youâre not a moron and no neither am i.â Ten simplified, taking your large hand in his smaller one as he forced you to turn your glossy eyes to look at him and sighed, â____, I imprinted on you the first day I saw you. I just never told you becauseâŠâ He breathed deeply, though you could really only focus on his confession, âBecause I didn't think you could handle it at first.â
While you were beyond confused and bewildered, most of what he had said had been blocked out by the sudden racing pulse sound ringing in your ears.
He admitted he had imprinted on you. Which meant you were his mate. Your strong feelings for a man you hadnât known nearly as long as you felt like you had all now made sense.
Before you met him, you were content with just playing the role your parents had given you your whole life without fighting it. But after you met him, you started to see just how colorless and emotionless it all truly was because he brought an instant connection to your life you had never had before.
âThen when i did want to tell you you basically told me you were staying with your girlfriend even though she knew we were fucking and i figured that meant i needed to just leave you be because that meant some part of you wanted to be with her,â Ten shrugged as he uncomfortably shifted his weight on the log.
He had done exactly what you had done. He assumed you liked someone else deep down the same way you assumed heâd find someone else and leave you anyway. You both really were the worldâs biggest morons.
âI was just gonna keep doing whatever it was you wanted to do no matter how much it hurt because I just⊠wanted you to be happy,â Ten admitted rather sheepishly while scratching the back of his neck with his hand that wasnât holding yours, âBut marriage is permanent and babies are permanent and I don't want you to be stuck in anything that permanent with anyone unless itâs with me because I love you.â
You assumed as a werewolf he would have because, if you were his true mate and if what Ten had told you about werewolves was true, he mustâve instantly felt love for you the second he laid his eyes on you. But still, hearing him say those three little words practically took the breath out of you as you never expected to hear them from him even though you felt them for him.
âY-you love me too?â You stuttered, your brain barely able to form a sentence because of all the new information it had been flooded with.
Ten smiled earnestly and his eyes glistened with what you could now place as fondness, âOf course I do. Youâre my mate.â
And before you could even think of a proper reply back, you realized your body seemed to have had other plans as, you found your lips quickly connecting with his own and your hands flying behind his head to weave into his soft black hair to pull him closer to you.
The kiss was beyond electrifying as it finally confirmed your real feelings for each other. It made you feel like something other than a puppet of your parents. As Tenâs own hands found purchase on either side of your face to deepen the kiss further, you realized being with him made you feel human, maybe for the first time in your life.
Eventually, the molding of your bodies had to end and someone had to break the ice in starting a conversation, âI know youâre scared of your parents and it goes against everything you were taught and told and all, but can you please for the love of god call off that stupid wedding so I can hold your hand in public and not be called an adulterous homewrecker?â Ten joked with his forehead resting against your own, finishing his sentence by pecking your nose gently.
You couldnât help but smile like an absolute idiot while taking your boyfriends hand with a nod and tears in your eyes.
Were you still scared of your parents? Yes absolutely. Were you even slightly worried they might try to fleece you for your actions? Sure. But weâre you worried about your future or your happiness being put at stake? No.
Because with Ten by your side, it didnât matter to you that your parents didnât accept you. It didnât matter that youâd lose all their âloveâ and financial support. It didnât matter that all, if not most, of your friends and family would turn their backs on you.
Because with him by your side you knew youâd forever be in love and be loved back by the only person thatâs opinion actually truly mattered to you.
Characters: Yoon Jeonghan x Joshua Hong x Female Reader (But youâre barely in it babe sry)
Genre: Unrequited love, angst, longing, high school reunion scenerio
Warnings: Hella angst (made me sad writing it but I like it still), lots of panicking and sadness of the reader, Jeonghan low key being an ass but also heâs a sweet heart, Shua is also low key oblivious to love and going through it, mentions of miscarriage (but not really causeâŠwell read it Iâm not spoiling), unrequited love?, fist fight between Joshua and Jeonghan so a little bruise cut and pain mentions.
Authorâs Note: I havenât edited this yet because Iâve been busy today but I figured I should at least get it out. So things might change a bit later on.
Her. - (Part 1)
The girl Joshua had fallen in love with was a girl from his philosophy class. The first time you laid eyes on her was when he slid a diamond ring on her finger and she wailed and sobbed âyesâ over and over again.
She was very attractive. Her flickering hazel eyes, long neatly styled raven colored hair, and cute little button nose topped with her perfectly chiseled heart shaped face all made sure of that. You thought her beauty outmatched your own easily.
And from what you eventually learned about her, she was also quite intelligent. Always having no trouble keeping up with conversations ranging from the most silly to the most serious of topics. So when you found out she was majoring in law, you werenât surprised.
She came from money too. Her family had sent her to boarding school in the united states during her early years and finished off her education at a girls finishing school in Switzerland. And, while parents loved you, they could never afford to give you such luxuries on their modest salaries.
She held herself high and had a posture so straight it wouldâve made seasoned ballerinas cry. You were a known slouch due to your years as a student.
Her nails were always done in neutral tones and her clothing choices always refined and luxurious. Used to a life of the lower middle class, you never splurged on such extra pleasantries.
Her personality clashed with yours often, her thoughts and choices much more on the right whereas yours were far more left. So you naturally bickered and fought, something you truly did try to keep from happening so your best friend wouldnât be caught in the middle. But he didnât have to be caught up in the drama between the two of you for too long.
It was right before the two were to be married. They had chosen a destination wedding in France because her parents wanted only the best for their darling daughter. Joshua was the dream husband they couldâve ever hoped for her to end up with. So of course it wasnât a stretch for them to want their only child to have her perfect dream wedding to match.
You thought everything was running smoothly. Well, as smoothly as could be when the love of your life was marrying someone else.
You were at the grand hotelâs bar knocking a few shots back with your two male best friends as if everything was fine. As if nothing had changed, reminiscing about old stories and laughing about the good times youâd had. Of course, over those past few months everything had changed.
She suddenly came down from her shared suite with Joshua, angry as youâd ever seen her, and yanked him away from the bar counter harshly before you or Jeonghan could even comprehend what was happening.
You wanted to tell her she was gonna end up hurting him with the way she was pulling him around. You wanted to smack her for the iron tight grip she had around his forearm. But you couldnât. It wasnât your place anymore.
After a few minutes of mumbled arguing with each other towards the barâs opening, Joshua eventually returned to you, looking as if all the life had been drained out of him.
âWhatâs wrong Shua?â You softly asked, not wanting to overstep your recently formed boundaries with him that sheâd set for you to follow, but also wanting to give your friend a way to speak about what was troubling him.
The boy turned to you with eyes so watery and so broken, you couldâve swore you heard his heart tearing into two beneath his dress shirt.
âN-Nothings wrong (Y/N),â He promised, grabbing Jeonghanâs shot from the table and throwing it passed his lips with a hiss, âJust stressed over the wedding is all.â
You all knew he was lying. Something was hurting him so much more than he was letting on, but he didnât want to speak on it. Had you been in your old friendship with him, the caring and loving one you had been used to before she came into the picture, you wouldâve pressed him on the matter. You and Jeonghan wouldnât have let him leave his seat until he spilled his guts to you. But that was then, this was now.
Instead, all you could do was give him a warm smile and a statement youâd hoped would bring him some comfort in his time of trouble, âDonât worry Shua, the wedding will be over soon and everything will go back to normal.â
He turned to face you, lip slightly trembling as he put on a brave face, âYeah, everything will be over soon.â
If only you had realized in the moment just how much he had meant those words.
ââ
*15 years later*
A decade and a half had passed since youâd spent time with your two best friends all together. The day of his honeymoon, Shua seemingly cut all contact with both you and Jeonghan with little to no explanation.
You had tried to message him like you normally did to see how he was the day after his big day, but you didnât get an answer.
As days passed, you tried to call him to make sure he was okay and not dead in a ditch somewhere. Jeonghan started too because, when the two of you got back from your little extended vacation from the wedding, all of Joshuaâs stuff was gone from your shared apartment.
Thatâs when you even went so far as to call his mother to make sure he was still alive only to be met with an apologetic âI donât know whatâs going onâ from her.
Of course she knew what had happened, you found out later that Joshua told her everything the day of his nuptials. Sh just didnât know how to break the big news to you because she knew how close you were and how much pain it would cause you.
He eventually sent you a letter explaining why he wouldnât be associating with you or Jeonghan any further. In the letter, he kept insisting that it was no oneâs fault but his own. That heâd simply grown apart from the both of you and your childish ways and the move was a long time coming now that he was a married man.
While you were reading the heartbreaking announcement to Jeonghan, who was beyond pissed at the cowardly move you ex best friend had made, with tears flowing down your cheeks, you remembered your very last conversation with him.
*Flashback*
âWanna dance with me?â The cheeky, now wedded, boy smiled slightly at you with an elongated hand held out your way.
The warm alcohol you had consumed to make it through the ceremony was running through your system, which caused you to be a bit bolder than you normally wouldâve been at the request, âYou can dance with me whenever youâd like Mr. Hong,â you giggled, grabbing his gentle hand with ease and letting him pull you to the dance floor.
As you swayed to the music, your head held to his chest so you could listen to the calming thudding of his heartbeat while he spoke about the wedding, his doubts of being a good husband, and how he was absolutely dreading his honeymoon.
âI donât know how Iâm gonna do this (Y/N),â He gulped, probably not even registering how lost you were while you kept your ear to his body for what you assumed would be the last time, âI-I wish things couldâve turned out differently.â
The shakiness in his voice broke you out of your longing trance. He wasnât your husband to hold yourself to the way you were holding yourself to him. You needed to snap out of it anyways.
âWhat do you mean differently Shua?â You lifted your head so you could look up to face him reluctantly, trying to focus on the conversation you were having with him rather than the feelings you felt for him.
He sighed and gripped the hand you held to his shoulder and brought it towards the center of his chest, âN-Nothing. I donât really mean anything by it really. I don't think anyways, itâs just-â He paused, training his glittery eyes to your own as if he were trying to memorize the stars that shined only for him within them, â-Donât you ever wish things were different?â
The question threw you off. You didnât understand what he meant by the question, nor did you figure it out decades later. You were at a loss for words and needed more clarification. From the jittery boy youâd always see as your first love.
So through your tipsy state you asked, âDifferent how?â
Thatâs when he broke eye contact with you to drop his head down. Through your drunken and saddened state, you couldâve swore you saw his lip quivering behind your intoxicated vision. But at the time you couldnât be sure as you were far too busy trying not to forcefully cling yourself to his feet and beg him on your knees not to leave you for her.
âI don't know just⊠different.â
Had you not tried so hard to bury your troubles in liquor, you mightâve caught on to the pregnant hesitation within his tone. Had you not been so wrapped up in your own internal conflict, you mightâve noticed him battling with his own.
But at the time, you just wanted him to enjoy his moment. It was supposed to be the happiest day of his life. So you thought you needed to remind him of that, even if you didnât agree with his choice of bride.
âI don't know Shua,â You tried to lighten the mood by pretending to think, âDifferent is just another word for change. And youâve changed a lot recently. I donât think you need anymore different than youâve already got. Youâre an old married geezer now. I donât think your little heart could take anymore!â You joked, causing Joshua to let out a small snort and relax his worried face some.
âI may be married now but Iâm not old!â He defended himself with the most genuine laugh youâd heard from him all night.
Your plan of relaxing him had been working. Only you could get him to calm down and let go of his stress. You knew him better than anyone else after all.
âMmm I don't know. She already chooses your clothes and tells you what to do,â You stifled a giggle, âI think that pretty much classifies you as an old married couple even if youâre just starting out.â
You couldnât tell if it was just your imagination or not, but you thought you saw the smile on his face faltered for a split second at the mention of her.
âYeah, she does tell me what to do a lot doesnât she?â He asked rhetorically, once more looking at his feet as you both tried to stay on rhythm with the music blaring through the loud speakers.
You hated when he tried to hide away from you. And you really especially hated seeing him so down on a day that was supposed to be everything he had ever wanted. So you were determined to make him happy again. Or at very least show him that the feelings you thought he was having were perfectly normal given the circumstance.
âMaybe. But thatâs what married life is about right?â You quizzed, âDoing things you donât always wanna do to make your spouse happy.â
You werenât sure how marriage really worked. You didnât think about the topic too much. The select few times you had previously, you only thought of marriage with Joshua, which you knew would be anything but ordinary. So you could really just only go off of what other people had spoken about to you in the past.
âYeah I guess,â He sadly replied, âBut sometimes, the things your spouse wants you to do can⊠have unforeseen consequences.â
You smirked at him with a raised brow, attempting to pull an answer out of him, âWhat type of unforeseen consequences?â
You watched as Joshua let a breath out through his nose, clearly uneased by the question, âJust⊠stuff. She doesnât like my job or the amount of money I make. She doesnât like the way I dress or act sometimes. She doesnât like a lot of what I do or say. Just a lot of things really.â
A pang of pain shot through your already near crumbled heart at your best friend's words.
He loved his job teaching kindergarten. Sure it didnât pay well, but he enjoyed waking up in the morning and actually looked forward to going to work because he loved the job and the kids so much. Joshua never cared about something as petty as money. But you knew his new wife and her family did.
You had noticed before just how much she tried to change his personality and the way he dressed. You had to watch every time she swatted him when he said or did something she didnât like with anger bubbling over in your blood that you could never let boil over into the real world.
Youâd known Joshua Hong nearly all your life and you knew he deserved better than to be treated as some sort of pet project for some rich family who looked down on poor people whoâs standards were far too impossible to reach.
But part of you couldnât help but feel bad for another reason. A lot of what she smacked him for was for the dirty jokes heâd learned from you and Jeonghan. A lot of the time when she rolled her eyes and told him to grow up was when heâd mimicked your usual behavior of stuffing his mouth with marshmallows to see how many he could fit in at once. Much of what she considered his unsophisticated behaviors were things you and Jeonghan had taught him your whole lives.
Him getting scolded was all your fault. Him being frustrated and pained with his new marriage was all your fault. His issues with his wife were all your fault. You were the one that made his life so difficult. And that thought hurt almost as much as when Joshua had told you he was marrying another woman.
âShua Iâm-â You tried to swallow back the lump that had formed in your throat, doing your best to not cry out of shame, â-Iâm so sorry! You get in trouble because of me and Jeonghanâs personalities and humor! If we were better friends, if I were a better friend, you wouldnât be going through all that!â
Your best friend could see the panic and guilt begin to wash over your face, so he stopped you dead in your tracks of both speaking and dancing and forced you to look up at him, â(Y/N), you listen to me right now. None of my life choices are on you or Jeonghan. None of them. I am a better person because of the both of you. I am the way I am because you showed me living everyday as if it were my last would never let me have any regrets. Weâve been through hell and back together more times than I can count,â He insisted softly, starry eyes never leaving your glossy ones as he attempted to get you to see the weight of his words, âI need you to remember that. None of this is on you,â He promised, âAbsolutely none of this is your fault.â
*End of Flashback*
You still remembered that day as if it were yesterday, the ache and hurt an all too painful reminder of just how much it affected you to your present day.
But you couldnât let it stop you from going on. So you stuck your last earring in your ear and took a final look at yourself in the mirror.
It was the day of your 20 year high school reunion. You had managed to get a sitter for your kids and had convinced your husband to attend with you in an act of emotional support.
You had only kept in contact with a few people from your younger days. You knew chances were youâd only be gone for an hour or two and then youâd no doubt find yourself going home before night had truly set simply because youâd get bored.
But you couldnât help the horrible butterflies you had in your gut. Part of your brain couldnât help the obsessive praying it was chanting that a certain someone wouldnât end up coming, not that you thought he would. Joshua never was a person who attended special gatherings, he never considered such things were important.
Still, you couldnât help the pure anxiety that ran through your veins. Something that was also very visible to your very concerned husband, who was also not someone who would usually attend such events if given the choice. But your comfort was far more urgent to him than his need to stay antisocial. So he agreed to go with you.
You were so busy nervously passively nitpicking at every possible imperfection with your appearance as you got lost in your negative thoughts, you almost didnât notice the two strong arms that made their way to circle your abdomen.
âAre you ready to go now my love?â Your husband gently whispered into the shell of your ear before he dutifully kissed your temple, something heâd done a thousand times over your 12 year marriage.
You gave him a reassuring smile back and reached your arms over to cover his own, âYes baby. Iâm ready. We can go.â
There was no backing out.
ââ
As you entered into the halls of your old high school building, taking in the memories and nostalgia of it all while your adoring husband went to find you both some refreshments, you heard a voice you hadnât heard in such a long time, you wondered if you were dreaming.
â(Y/N)? Is-Is that really you?â
But sure as the sun rose, you saw a real life Joshua Hong standing near the expertly crafted balloon arch with a big toothy smile on his somehow still perfectly pretty face.
He had changed some, it had been nearly two decades since youâd last seen him after all, but he was still the same Josh youâd grown up with. Just with some salt and pepper hair and a few more fine lines plastered on his face.
You all but froze in place, your blood running cold as you watched him make his way over to you with a drink stationed in his large hand.
âO-oh,â You stuttered, surprised heâd find the time to actually make it to the reunion since, last youâd seen on his motherâs social media account before she passed a few years ago, heâd become quite the successful and busy human rights lawyer, âH-Hello Joshua. W-what um⊠what are you doing here?â
You hadnât meant to sound so cold towards him. But truthfully, how could you not be at least a little bit awkward with the man?
Sure everything happened a long time ago. But you had also known him your whole life at one point and he had easily left you hanging without even saying goodbye. So you figured being polite yet civil would be an appropriate way to speak with him.
He was very evidently hurt by your lack of enthusiasm to see him, though he tried to play it off like it didnât affect him, âIt is our high school reunion isn't it? Arenât I supposed to be here?â He gave a small chuckle to lighten the mood.
âYeah no of course!â You backtracked, not realizing how your tone of voice probably came off to him in the moment, âI just meant- well i mean- I know how busy you must be. Most of us didnât think youâd make it.â You honestly told him.
Once he realized you werenât necessarily telling him you didnât want to see him there, he seemed to calm down a bit, âAre you kidding? How could I miss this?â He scoffed teasingly, âI had to see how some of these guys ended up! Especially the jocks!â
You quickly burst out laughing without ever having meant to. But you reasoned it was justified. The popular crowd made all of your lives a living hell while you were in school. The jocks in particular had it out for Joshua and bullied him relentlessly while also somehow finding time to crush Jeonghanâs carefree attitude enough to have him consider nearly dropping out. So you knew he meant he wanted to see if they turned out as badly as you all hoped they would.
Thatâs when you and him started to remember some high school memories out loud to each other like bad dances, failed science fairs, and student fights.
You were actually having a decent conversation with him that you found entertaining enough to not find a way to run for the hills, something you never wouldâve pictured happening. You dared to say that it almost felt like old times. Almost.
It wasnât until Jeonghan came to give you a drink that things really began.
âHere you go baby, one cup of something-that-will-most-probably-give-you-a-hangover as promised,â He reported, kissing you on the cheek whilst handing you a red solo cup full of a liquid you just knew youâd regret drinking tomorrow before properly turning to see who it was you were having a conversation with.
Though instead of him and Joshua starting to say their hellos with each other like you expected, the two men just stood in place staring at each other with looks you couldnât quite place.
You knew Jeonghan was still just as upset with Joshua as you were, he was his best friend too after all.
In fact, it took some serious convincing to get him to agree that going to the reunion was a good idea because he didnât want to relive any memories he had with Josh, or the âtraitorâ as he so lovingly referred to him.
But you didnât expect him to just go mute. Get angry, swear a little, maybe cuss him out/flip him off sure, but you certainly didnât expect him to have a strange silent staring contest with the younger of the two boys in the middle of the reunion.
After what felt like forever, you decided to finally put a stop to the buffoonery by nudging your husband in the side to catch his attention, âLove, donât you think you should actually, you know, say hello to each other?â You urged him with wide eyes.
But instead of complying like he normally wouldâve when youâd done the same thing in similar situations, he just looked back at Joshua with an intensity youâve never seen behind his glare and simply said âNo.â
You were left dumbfounded. You always knew your husband was mad at your former best friend, he always made that very clear to anyone who brought the subject of him up, but to actually go as far as to announcing he didnât want to speak with him out loud? To go as far as to break social etiquette just to spite someone he was pissed off? That was very very unlike your usually passive aggressive at best Jeonghan.
âWhat do you mean ânoâ Hannie?â You turned to question him, though he refused to move his body or his sight away from Joshuaâs direction.
Not that it mattered, because the younger man was doing the exact same thing. He just didnât apparently have his wife there to try to get him to come to his senses like Jeonghan did.
Dryly, Jeonghan spoke with no expression anywhere to be seen on his face, âI mean what I said. No, I don't think we should say hello to each other.â
Your mouth fell open at your husbandâs rude and blunt words. Youâd seen him be nasty to people before, hell, youâve helped him be nasty to people before. But even if he was mad as hell at him for what he did, it was still Joshua you were speaking about.
Even though he wasnât your friend anymore, he was for most of your childhood and young adult lives. You figured the least he could do was be courteous enough to politely excuse the both of you to leave or subtly show him he wasnât interested in starting a conversation with dry replies for the sake of your old friendship.
âHannie thatâs really ru-â you attempted to scold your husband, only to be cut off by Joshua instead.
âAnd why is that Jeonghan?â Shua asked with venom lacing his tone and an aggravated expression youâd never seen on him before.
Before you could deescalate the situation, you heard Jeonghan scoff, âBecause youâre a fucking traitor!â
Now it was apparently Joshuaâs turn to exhale in disgust, âOh Iâm the traitor?!â He huffed, getting a bit closer to Jeonghan, causing both men to quickly nudge you to the side so youâd be out of their lines of fire, âYouâre fucking kidding me right?! If anyoneâs a traitor here, itâs you Hannie!â Joshua spewed the accusation viciously while he brought the pointer finger of one of his hands towards Jeonghan and tightly clenched his other fist.
âGuys stop this really isn-â You wanted them to quit while they were ahead.
You were starting to draw a crowd near you that wanted in on your business. Both boys were getting visibly more defensive and angry. Youâd seen that look in both of their eyes before. You knew they were pushing each otherâs buttons somehow to the brink of no return. You knew where it was all headed.
But once more, your pleas would go unheard as they continued.
âHow the fuck am I the traitor?! Iâm not the one who fucking abandoned his best friend without even having the balls to end things to her face!â Jeonghan maliciously growled.
You witnessed Joshua grit his teeth to keep from screaming and scaring you, âNo, youâre just the one that fucked your best friend!â
At that point you had no clue what either male was talking about. Jeonghan had always told you that he knew as much about why Joshua left as you. And you sure as shit didnât understand why Joshua thought your husband was the one that fucked him over. But the two sure sounded like they had more unfinished business than they let you in on.
âItâs not my fault youâre so damn thick skulled Shua! Besides, youâre the asshole that left! You canât blame anyone for what happened afterwards but yourself!â Your husband borderline yelled in Joshâs face.
You definitely were starting to realize something else was going on. But you couldnât really focus on that at that moment. All you could think about was how close their faces were getting and how white their knuckles were becoming.
Joshua let out a dry laugh that sounded more like a demon had voiced it than a human, âAnd you sure as shit took advantage of me being gone didnât you?! You couldnât even wait until the corpse of our friendship was cold huh?! I mean seriously Jeonghan, this is a new low even for your cheap shot throwing ass!â
And that was when your husbandâs fist made contact with Joshuaâs jaw, causing him to stumble and opening the sea of people surrounding them that didnât want to get hit. Which meant there was no one there to keep him from falling backwards onto the ground.
You screamed when you saw Jeonghan lunge forward to continue the scramble on the ground.
It was a hot mess. First Jeonghan had punched Shuaâs eye socket, then Shua flipped your husband over and returned the favor. And of course Jeonghan just had to continue hitting the younger boys sides from his point on the ground, but then that also meant Shua got angry and put his hands around the elders neck.
Then you donât know what happened cause the next thing you knew both men were rolling around on the floor sending as many hits into the other as they possibly couple before some of the guys from the reunion, you couldnât really say who, pulled them apart. Then it was up to you to start convincing the reunion coordinator to not press charges.
ââ
âI canât believe you fucking hit me.â Joshua snarled, holding the bag of ice to the side of his face to bring down some of the swelling that was no doubt the source of some of his discomfort
Jeonghan snorted, âAnd I canât believe you were ballsy enough to start choking me,â as he held his bag of ice up to his eye to hopefully help some of the bruising from getting worse.
The two of them had been sat outside on the curb being babysat by a couple of their old male classmates while you had been left to try to smooth things over inside the building.
âSo,â Joshua broke the awkward silence that loomed between them, âHow mad at us do you think she is?â He questioned, genuinely curious about whether or not he ever had a chance of you speaking to him again.
Jeonghan groaned as he mulled just how bad your reaction would be later over in his head, âMad? Try pissed! Sheâs totally gonna kill me when we get home.â
Joshua chuckled lightly, quickly regretting the decision when he realized just how badly the move made his rib cage hurt, âHonestly, sheâs probably gonna be happy you started hitting me.â
He hated to say it out loud. It was bad enough his words were more than likely true after everything that had happened, but saying it out loud, vocalizing that you probably hated his guts, hurt more than his freshly created wounds.
The elder of the two rolled his eyes at the statement and bit his bloody lip, âShows what you know. Iâm probably sleeping on the couch for a month Minimum!â
âWhy though? If she hates me doesnât that mean sheâd be proud of you for hitting me?â Josh asked in a whisper, trying not to let his heartbreak show.
Jeonghan just swallowed thickly, âWhy? Because I got into a full on fight at a reunion where I promised her Iâd be on my best behavior. Because instead of using my words like an adult I used my fists, like an idiot-â he paused, almost not wanting his next words to come out of his mouth, â-But for the record, she doesnât hate you. She was mad at you for leaving us without giving us the courtesy of knowing your real reason for leaving. But that doesnât mean she hates you. I⊠I donât think she could ever hate either of us.â
Now it was Joshuaâs turn to not want to speak. He was still mad at himself for it all and how he handled it. He was still ashamed of it all and how it turned out.
But Jeonghan was right, the letter he had sent wasnât his real reason for cutting contact, anyone with a brain couldâve seen that. Which means you definitely did see it. You deserved a real answer and, even if he could never say it to you out loud or to your delicate face, maybe someday Jeonghan could for him.
âThat day at the bar, the day before the wedding when she came down stairs and ripped me away from you guys,â Joshua spoke as he tried to blink away the painful memory to keep it from resurfacing to the front of his mind. He didnât want you to know he cried, âShe told me⊠she told me that she was pregnant.â
Jeonghan let the bag of ice he had against his face fall onto his lap, âWait? Are you saying you dropped us because you had to be a family man or some bullshit? Because I swear to god Shua-â He threatened, but his worries were quickly squashed.
âNo⊠thatâs not why,â Joshua halted him, nearly starting to shake from holding back a harsh sob, âAt least⊠not really why.â
She never liked you or that he was friends with you. She hated that he always put you above anyone and anything else. But she knew there was only one thing heâd ever put above you, and that would be his own kids.
âMy dad left pretty much right after I was born so I donât really know,â Shua had told you and Jeonghan one day in middle school after you had asked him where he was.
You had known that his mom raised him alone, but whenever the topic of his father arose, heâd change the subject.
In that moment, you found out why, âIâll tell you what though,â He held back a sniffle as you came and gave him a warm back hug to comfort him like you always did whenever he was having a rough time, âIâll never do what my dad did to me to my own kids.â
He never even really liked her. For a while, he managed to trick himself into thinking sheâd be a decent enough replacement for you, that he could fool himself into believing she was the next best thing to you. But she never was.
By the time he realized that, it was too late. By the time he was ready to tell you how he felt for you whether he thought you loved him back or not, he couldnât do it. He was engaged to be married.
Even the day before his wedding as he sat at the bar stools with you and watched you laugh and giggle and smile, he was genuinely planning to cancel the whole wedding that night to ride off into the sunset with you.
But he soon found he couldnât because his bride to be, who he was beginning to see as the spoiled entitled brat she really was, was pregnant.
Torn between the decision to either keep seeing you, the girl who heâd literally take a bullet for, and raising his own kid, he chose the kid.
He knew youâd be alright, even if it sucked and hurt everyone involved, he reasoned that you still had Jeonghan to make himself feel better.
He knew that if he stopped speaking with you, even if he was still allowed to speak with him, Jeonghan would stay by you and tell him to go fuck himself if he said he wanted to still be friends with him. So he had to cut the both of you out of his life.
He spent the last day he had with you trying to be as normal as he could when the reality was all he wanted to do was throw himself in your arms and die there everytime you came within hugging distance. In his mind, he might as well have since it felt like he was already a walking corpse.
You helped him get ready, carefully helping him tie his tie and button his blazer all while he wished he could carefully bring your lips to his. You expertly kept his focus in memorizing his vows while he loosely tried to keep up, hoping youâd realize they were the words he wanted to say to you.
When his future bride walked forward down the aisle, he kept his site sideways on you. He noticed your teary eyes, probably from dreading having to deal with the woman he was marrying for what you assumed would be for the rest of your lives, and wanted so badly to comfort you in a time he needed comforting from you himself.
He couldnât focus on his wifeâs beauty that was enhanced with the best fillers and Botox money could buy that were forever and would always be visible. He was too mesmerized by your own natural beauty that would soon vanish before his eyes for what he knew would be forever.
Throughout the entire reception and dinner, he watched as you poured back shots with Jeonghan and longed for the days he was able to witness your drunken snorting giggles beside him.
Anytime he scanned the crowd, he witnessed your shared and carefree best friend try his damnedest to cheer you up by making fun of the stuck up in law family he had inherited.
All night he had to pretend he cared about his brideâs petty concerns and angry outburst when all he really cared about was the amount of times he saw you stepping out and coming back with tear stained cheeks.
Then, when the ceremony and reception were coming to a close and his now wife stared him and the clock down, he was finally able to ask you to dance. The last one heâd ever get with you. The last time heâd ever get to be near you.
He shouldâve told you then and there what was going on. He shouldâve let you down easy in person. But he couldnât. You were trying so hard to see the bright side of things for him, he couldnât break your heart.
When you started apologizing for being the reason she treated him so poorly, he shouldâve explained everything so you knew it wasnât your fault. But he couldnât. He didnât want his last happy moments with you to be tainted.
So instead, he held you close to his chest, hoping you could hear his heart beat only for you. He kept you talking, hoping he could memorize your voice and have it ingrained in his brain for all the times heâd long to hear it and youâd no longer be there. He swayed you side to side while you danced, trying to gain the courage to grab you by the hand and run away with you.
But he couldnât. He had to give up someone who meant everything to him for someone who meant nothing to him.
So at the end of the night when everyone was seeing them off, when everyone was saying their temporary goodbyes, he said goodbye to you for good.
You gave him a hug and he wrapped his arms so tightly around you he was worried he had cut off your air supply.
He thanked you for all the help you had given him, not realizing he meant for the help you had given him during his entire duration of his existence.
You told him you loved him and that you were proud of him. So he told you he loved you too, once again not realizing the true meaning behind his words.
He gave you a final kiss to the top of your head, wanting more than anything for the action to say all the things he wish he could. Then he let you go.
He had his mom arrange to get all his stuff out of your shared apartment while he was on his honeymoon and knew you and Jeonghan would still be in France. He wanted to answer all your messages, he wanted to answer all your calls. But as soon as his wife found out about the spamming from the both of you, she made him change his number.
Joshua still didnât want you to think he abandoned you without even telling you he wasnât coming back. He planned on going to the apartment to tell you in person after he chickened out at the wedding, but he just⊠couldnât.
How could he look you in the eye and say he ruined everyoneâs lives by being an idiot? How could he tell you he had to choose someone he wished heâd left for you? How could he listen to you cry as he told you it would be the last time youâd ever see him? How could he be right in front of your beautiful face and be able to leave afterwards?
He just couldnât do it. So he wrote the letter.
However, once his wife found out about it, she threatened to leave him if he sent it. Eventually, he managed to convince her that if he sent it, youâd never try to contact him again.
But her knowing meant he had to have her permission before he could actually send it out, meaning he couldnât tell you the truth about why he wouldnât be coming back like he wanted to.
He did his best to keep you from blaming yourself by offering an excuse of it being all his fault, but his wife made him add that he had outgrown you because she didnât feel youâd ever truly leave the two of them alone if it didnât show he didnât want to be near you anymore.
He was told a few weeks later, just around the time she probably wouldâve started to show, that his wife had miscarried. And he was devastated at the fact that he lost a child.
But he was more broken over the fact that he had to stay in an unhappy marriage for no reason because he had burned his bridges with both you and Jeonghan and she was all he had left.
Some years later during their divorce proceedings, he found out that she had made it all up. That there never was a real baby and that he had indeed given you up for nothing but an empty promise and an evil woman.
Joshua didnât see a point in remarrying after that, why would he have? The only woman he ever wanted now assumed he didnât want anything to do with her.
He didnât have any kids either. Why have kids when the only woman heâd ever actually wanted them with was probably having them with someone else?
He told Jeonghan that he mostly spent his days drinking and working a job in a career he only went in because she made him change it to try and numb the loneliness in his life he had created. He told him the only reason he started to fight back with him was because he was hurting.
Just thinking you were happy with someone else was enough to, on a good day, make him want to ram his head through a garage door. But actually seeing you happy with someone else? Knowing it was Jeonghan you married instead of him? Knowing that you had Jeonghanâs kids instead of his? Knowing that he lost his chance to grow old with you and be happy to his best friend felt like a hot iron was shoved down his throat and out the other end.
âYeah, I figured pal,â Jeonghan nodded, still taking in everything Joshua had told him.
Josh wiped the flowing tears from his face, âWhat do you mean you figured?â
Jeonghan let out an exhausted sigh and a dry chuckle as he reached in his pocket to pull out his phone, quickly unlocking it and heading to the photos in his phone, âYou know, I wasnât just trying to hurt your feelings when I said you were thick-skulled. Sounds like you were so concerned about hiding your own feelings for her, you never took notice that she had them for you too.â
And thatâs when Jeonghan showed him a video from the day he proposed. It showed you in the older boy's car, doing your damnedest not to burst into tears as you explained to your now husband why you had to help with his proposal.
Joshua felt sick to his stomach, no, it felt like his stomach was gonna come out of his body from the sheer repulsion he was feeling. You actually loved him. He couldâve been with you all this time but because he was so busy trying to find someone like you, he never saw you or your feelings for him.
A small part of him was thrilled to finally hear you say those three words after so many years of having been in love with you. He couldnât help but let his body finally fall into broken wails as he began to cry into his hands, Jeonghan bringing one of his own to gently pat him on the back.
Because they both knew they now meant nothing. You were married to Jeonghan, the guy who actually stuck around and was there for you, with a family you built together as husband and wife.
He couldnât confess his feelings to you and live happily ever after with you as he once couldâve. You were adults with responsibilities and people who relied on you now.
Joshua wanted to take it back. He wanted to take it all back. He shouldâve never asked his ex wife out, he shouldâve asked you out. He shouldâve never proposed to his ex wife, he shouldâve proposed to you. He shouldâve never married her, he shouldâve married you.
He shouldâve had children and a life with you. He shouldâve been the one who sees you first thing in the morning and got to kiss you goodnight. He shouldâve told you how he felt when he had the chance.
âI-Is s-she at least h-happy n-now Jeonghan?â Shua quivered, barely able to hold back the body racking sobs long enough to speak.
He shouldâve known you loved him too. All the times you sat and listened to him play awful guitar when he was first learning to play, all the times youâd stay on the phone for hours on end just to hear him rant about his day, all the late night study sessions you didnât need but he so desperately did that you accompanied him on, he shouldâve known.
âYeah, buddy. Sheâs really really happy now,â Jeonghan assured him, feeling unbelievably sorry for his former friend who was still very obviously in love with the mother of his own children.
ââ
It took Joshua a long time to calm himself down, but luckily for him, you seemed to need just as much time trying to convince whoever was in charge not to press charges against them.
It also gave Jeonghan time to tell him some of the things that had gone on in the both of your lives since heâs last seen you.
For some reason, it made him feel better to know that you and Jeonghan grew closer when he left because of your shared grief and Jeonghanâs constant need to protect you.
Youâd been married over a decade and, based on some of his stories, he had no doubt in his mind that Jeonghan was still making your life a living hell with his constant need to cause havoc.
It made things easier for him to know that Jeonghan was able to fulfill his wish of becoming a psychologist so you could be a stay at home mom and raise your children the way you always wanted to. You used to talk about wanting a boat load of children when you were growing up together and, even though you only ended up having two, he knew with them being half Jeonghanâs they mustâve kept your life busy enough to feel like you had more.
Knowing that Jeonghan made every Wednesday night date night for the both of you and took you to nice restaurants was helpful, it meant he treated you right. Listening to the pride in Jeonghanâs voice as he boasted about your children made his heart happy, it meant he was a good dad to your kids. Hearing Jeonghan talk about you like you were the sole reason the earth kept spinning gave him a lot of hope, it meant he loved you the way Joshua loved you.
âHannie?!â You shouted as you rushed from the doors of your old high school, making your way to the both of them just as Jeonghan finished telling Joshua about how your 6 year old daughter was now refusing to go to sleep without tucking everyone in bed and kissing them goodnight herself, which apparently your 10 year old boy was not very fond of.
Both men turned around to face you, watching as you pulled your heels off your feet and ran through the front grass in a hurry, âYes, love?â Jeonghan answered, nearly forgetting the events that took place earlier in the night and smiling.
âOkay Iâm suuuper pissed at you right now so donât try to be cute, but we have to go! Like right now! The sitterâs only paid up till 11pm and itâs 10:30pm!â You breathlessly shouted to him.
Joshua watched as pure panic drenched over Jeonghan within seconds, âOh fuck!â He stood from his place on the cement and patted the younger boyâs back, âIt was good seeing you again Shua. You gonna be good?â He urgently asked, clearly concerned for your children back home as you made your way to the both of them.
He laughed back, confusing you as you had no clue what had been going on with the two of them while they sat waiting for you, âYeah, man. Iâll be okay. You guys go go!â He pretended to shuuu you both towards the cars before Jeonghan placed his arm out in front of you, stopping you as you tried to make your start to rush your car.
âYeah love you are not running across the asphalt without shoes.â He insisted breaking his panicked father persona and falling into his adoring husband one.
âBut Jeonghan-â you tried to argue, but you were met with resistance within an instance.
Jeonghan tsked his tongue and began crouching down enough for you to get on his back, âNot up for debate princess. Now say your goodbyes, hop on and letâs go! We got babies to see!â
You rolled your eyes at your husbandâs need to be overdramatic but complied with his demand anyways, too exhausted with the nightâs events to put up a fight, âWell even though you two suck and fought it really was good to see you again Shua, even if it was only for a little while,â you half smiled, your dimples still showing through your tiredness as you wrapped your arms around Jeonghanâs neck and brought your legs to his side, ready for him to take off and go.
You werenât allowed to go just yet, at least, not until Jeonghan forced your heels out of your hand so he could carry them himself, much to your fake annoyance.
And just like that, Joshua watched as the both of you ran off into the parking lot of your old high school with you scolding him about being ridiculous and Jeonghan making conceded compliments about himself.
Seeing the both of you interact together, even though you were complaining about your husband and Jeonghan was being⊠well, Jeonghan, gave Joshua comfort, it meant you both loved each other very much. And even though heâd never get you to himself now, at least he knew you were in the best hands he couldâve ever hoped for.
Please, I beg for Her Part 2. or the complete story. Please, u made me sob and it was such a good story.
If i were to write a part two though, would you want a happy or a sad ending? Because the reason for me not writing a part two yet is because i canât decide
Warnings: anxiety to the maximum, questioning of sexuality i guess, controlling parents, existential crisis mentions, sex mentions/implications but nothing too serious, bad influence Ten, mentions of cheating (though the couple doesnât really care for each other anyways sođ€·đ»ââïž)
Authorâs Note: I changed his mate like 10+ times before i actually wrote anything for him because i kept forgetting to write the story line down so cut me some slack on this one pls and thanks. Also let me know how you feel about a male reader. I created his personality after a nepobaby i knew growing up
Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! Theyâre just for fun/entertainment!
Watch It All Burn Masterlist
The Confused One: Part 2
Mostly just anxiety. Not even đ„ or đ€Ș. Just pure plain and simple nerves and butterflies all over the place with some sex talk
Bold= Korean Dialogue Italics= Thoughts Pink= Cantonese Red=Mandarin Green=English
Tag List-
You werenât a partier. No, in fact you were rather a homebody. Most of the time, people couldnât pay you to leave the comfort of your tiny studio apartment. So you werenât really sure how you found yourself surrounded by a bunch of sweaty, smelly, drunken bodies flinging themselves around you on a makeshift dance floor.
Though you supposed that statement in itself was also inaccurate. You knew exactly why you found yourself in your current predicament. You just werenât sure what possessed you to actually fall for another guy in the first place. Let alone a guy who was everything you swore never to be.
See you were the quiet type, some would even call you sheltered or protected. Not that you had really chosen that life or personality for yourself. No, your life and personality had been handcrafted for you in childhood by your overprotective parents.
You were the only son and child of a wealthy CEO and a successful plastic surgeon. You never wanted for anything. You never needed something they couldnât provide. You were set for life since they had a set aside a huge trust fund for you to live on when you got older.
Truthfully, you didnât even need to attend the university you were going to to gain a bachelors in your chosen major of biochemistry. But not going to university wouldâve gone against the well thought out plan your parents had carefully laid out for you. They had all your future major life decisions mapped out for you. Whether it was the housing layout they decided you needed or something as simple as the color of the suit youâd wear at your wedding, everything was set up for you down to the last detail.
You just had to go through the motions and follow through with the plan using the extreme disciplinary measures and the self control techniques that had been drilled into your head when you were young. It seemed simple enough: Do what you were told and youâd live happily ever after.
There seemed to be no way you could possibly fuck it all up. But you did.
Though if someone looked at it from your perspective, there was no way you could be fully to blame for it.
Because the very university your parents picked out for you to attend was where you met him. The extracurricular they signed you up for, tutoring others, to boost your after college resume as high as it would go lead you to your first meeting with him.
The housing complex they had you living in was only down the street from the party spots he frequented. And the very future wife they had arranged for you since youâd practically been born seemed to be someone you had virtually no problem cheating on given that you eventually found yourself pressed up against his bedroom wall while he kissed down your neck and had his merry way with you.
-
It all started on a random Tuesday afternoon. You hadnât originally felt any different. You woke up with your chosen girlfriend of 3 years beside you. You poured your usual cup of morning tea and made yourself a heart healthy breakfast. You drove to school an hour earlier than your intended class to start your typical tutoring session with a pupil of yours, Yangyang.
Only instead of his constant backpack for a companion sitting on the seat beside him as he waited for you to show, there sat an actual human being. And a rather cute one in your opinion at that.
âHey Yangyang!â You cluelessly beamed at the younger boy while trying to sneak another glance at the boy next to him, âWhoâs your friend?â
And instead of your dongsaeng replying with his usual goofy giggle, the raven haired male quickly stood to introduce himself.
âIâm Ten. You must be ____.â The boy, Ten apparently, smoothly reached his hand out for you to shake while staring at you with starry eyes.
Part of you wanted to run away in the opposite direction because of how frighteningly handsome he was. But the more rational part of you knew that would be very suspicious and strange and would probably lose you your tutoring student.
So you pulled up your metaphoric big boy pants and reached to shake his hand right back as quickly as your brain would allow you to as it began glitching.
Though, you couldnât help the no doubt obvious gulp your body automatically let out as you attempted to gain your vocal footing again, âY-Yep. Thatâs me.â
And as you felt your palm come into contact with the guy stationed in front of youâs hand, you felt a nonexistent fire spark up your skin.
âYangyang hereâs told us a lot about you and what a great tutor you are,â Ten spoke with an almost sinister grin, âand you must really be a pretty good one too cause i havenât seen anyone else actually get him to do his homework.â
Then the stranger in front of you let out one of the most harmonious and beautiful laughs youâd ever heard as your student smacked his side out of embarrassment.
âThatâs not true!â Yangyang insisted, â____ is a great tutor. But I can do my homework just fine without the extra motivation, thank you very much. I just need a little help with the teaching part sometimes is all. So donât listen to him ___ hyung.â
âWhatever you say kid,â Ten tauntingly reassured him as he turned to you as if he was privately conversing with you via eye contact.
But just when you finally got the courage to look the pretty guy directly in the eye, you couldâve sworn you saw some color in them that was definitely not a natural eye color surrounding his pupils.
Though before you could ask any questions, Yangyang nudged him in the arm to gain his attention. And whatever was said their private little conversation they had in what you could only assume was Yangyangâ native mandarin, Ten jolted in place and politely excused himself with the excuse of needing to get going and not wanting to interrupt your session any further.
And before you could even say your goodbye pleasantries back, he dashed off towards the library doors with a quick ânice to meet youâ being thrown over his shoulder.
Once the initial awkwardness of the interaction wore off, you quickly went to work and began your usual tutoring session with the Taiwanese boy as promised. But in the back of your mind throughout the whole hour you had laid aside for your teaching, you couldnât help but wonder when youâd get to see his lovely friend again.
The wonder confused you for a multitude of reasons, the first being you had never actually been attracted to anyone before, let alone some random guy you had quite literally just met. And the second reason was because having a weird guy crush on the boy wasnât part of your programming.
You werenât allowed to go outside of the plan that had been put in place far before your birth was anticipated. Your mother and father would have simultaneous heart attacks if they thought you entertained the idea for even a split second.
But some unhinged part of you just couldnât stop thinking about the mysteriously handsome stranger.
-
âBoy do you look lost,â Ten managed to chuckle out as he stepped foot in the kitchen you found yourself hiding out from the other party goers in.
He easily maneuvered his way over to your place on the counter after pulling a beer out of the friend he seemed so familiar with.
You let out a nervous laugh back out of embarrassment and the small proximity between you both, âYeah I um- was supposed to be meeting a friend here but they uh⊠made themselves known a little later than expected.â
Flirting was never your thing either. You were bad at it, anyone who even looked at you could tell based on your naturally shy demeanor.
But you had a drink and you felt the liquid courage flowing through your veins and decided to try it out, even though you knew it was a bad idea.
âOh,â Ten slyly smirked at you while leaning in dangerously close to your lips, âIs that all I am to you? A friend?â
And once again, the alcohol running through your body made you feel brave enough to do a stupid, stupid thing.
You quickly let out a breathy ânoâ and finally brought the painful tension between the two of you to an end by fully closing the small gap between the both of your lips.
-
Normally, Ten didnât go with Yangyang to his actual study sessions since he figured the kid was old enough to handle it himself. But after finding out how much his younger brother was struggling to come to terms with having to share his little sister with another one of their packmates, he figured checking up on him every once and a while couldnât hurt.
So he offered to come into the library of their shared university to help get him situated under the false pretense of âhaving too many books to carryâ instead of just dropping him off at the double doors and waiting for his own classes to start about half an hour later.
However, once Ten got inside, he could tell the younger boy was feeling a bit nervous. It was the first time seeing his tutor after their schoolâs break and he could only guess the boy mustâve been stressing out over the amount of work he was gonna be given to make up for lost time. So he decided to stay and sit with him until his tutor got there to be sure the guy knew who he was dealing with to help put him at ease.
But what he wasnât expecting when you walked through the door was to have the entire world instantly fall away from him, leaving you as the only thing keeping him chained to the earth. And you were unbelievably perfect.
Your perfectly buttoned nose made him want to melt to the floor. Your uncallused hands and geekish clothing showed him you probably hadnât once done anything other than be the bookworm he already knew you were from his conversations with Yangyang that were centered around you. Your disheveled hair and cherry red lips told him you were already flustered to the max after having only just made your tutoring session with him on time.
Ten wasnât sure he ever really understood, or even wanted for that matter, what a mate really was. Sure he knew all his brothers had imprinted. And of course he knew they were real because of the multiple sisters he had gained over his time with the pack. But he had never expected to find one for himself.
He was a partier. The wild child most parents told their kids was a perfect example of what not to be. So long as it was the weekend and he didnât have to be a responsible student or loving kindergarten teacher, he did pretty much whatever he wanted (or whoever he wanted for that matter) whenever he wanted with little regard for anything else other than to have a good time.
He drank, did the occasional recreational drug if he felt like it, dressed in dark sharp clothing to fit his nightlife, and slept around for as long as he could remember as often as he could. He figured having a mate just wasnât in the cards for him because of the lifestyle he chose to have, which was something he had come to terms with long ago.
But here you were, living breathing proof that he was wrong, dead wrong.
The only problem was, he was sure he was gonna mess it up. He was probably someone you considered scary by your own set of personal standards. You were a goody goody with a long term girlfriend and were set to be your graduating yearâs valedictorian. Your grades were as straight as you were and your lifestyle was so far from his own, he was sure youâd mini vomit in your mouth at the sight of him in the same vicinity as you. Youâd never go for a guy like him.
Still, you were his mate. And that fact was easily confirmed by his ever racing heart speeding up tenfold the closer you got to them, which was something the young maknae was quick to pick up on.
Whether Ten thought he had a real shot with you or not, he was gonna try. Sure heâd never thought heâd get you, but he had to attempt to after all. Heâd literally die without you.
So when you finally reached the table where youâd be doing your studying, he figured what better way to try to show you he was interested in you than a little bit of flattery. He introduced himself with a handshake and tried his best to keep his cool even though the minimal skin to skin contact he had with you for those few seconds set a bonfire alight inside him.
Then he tried to break the ice a little by mentioning something about you being a great tutor to Yangyang, which would end up being a mistake. Because if the small touch to your delicate hand had made his inner wolf crazy, the light blush that appeared across your face at the small compliment made him want to jump on you and smear kisses all over you, which was something he obviously could not just do having just met you.
But before he could say anything else, Yangyang gave him a little nudge to his side. When Ten turned his attention to the boy he saw that he was raising his eyebrows up and down, a silent signal used by most in the pack to let another know they had started to burn through their colored contacts that hid their true nature.
It made Ten panic internally. Of course he knew youâd eventually find out his secret, but he didnât want it to be in the middle of the university library surrounded by a bunch of strangers simply because he couldn't control himself.
So he hurriedly let out a goodbye and dashed out the door, careful to keep his eyes fixated on the ground as much as he could till he got to his car and could go home.
Sure the interaction wasnât everything he had hoped for, but it was enough to get the conversation started. Which was all he could ask for given the circumstances.
-
Little by little, he started seeing you more. Heâd rearranged his schedule so he could catch a glimpse of you on campus more often. Heâd always have his ear to the ground listening for someone mentioning you or your girlfriends name so he could keep tabs on you both. Heâd even gone so far as to actually befriending your girlfriend, who, much to his surprise, wasnât nearly as horrible as heâd thought sheâd be.
Sure she was a stickler for the rules and always had to keep up her own appearances with her naturally styled makeup and ironed prep school girl clothes, but she actually was⊠pretty cool.
Ten had already known who she was and knew of her activities on campus simply because he shared a few classes with her. She was a psych major and he was majoring in early childhood development, so their paths crossed a lot.
He already knew your girlfriend didnât like to talk to anyone she didnât think was worth her time based on how seriously she took her class schedule. So when she responded to him in their shared psychology class when he asked her to explain what the teacherâs lecture answer meant in an attempt to get her to speak to him, he was pleasantly caught off guard with her willingness to help him out. She knew he was a foreigner and she didnât want him to unjustly suffer in his class just because he might not be 100% fluent in current like she was as a native.
Thatâs how he got her talking to him and soon enough, they almost became sort of⊠friends. Ten definitely knew her other friends didnât like that she was associating with someone as âlowlyâ as himself, but she didnât seem to care. In fact, she didnât seem to care much at all about what anyone thought of her.
As the days passed, he learned that she was someone who stood up for others a lot more than standing up for herself. Ten watched over and over as her friends seemed to make decisions that hurt her personally, but she never said anything to them. Yet when she saw one of her friends make fun of a student with less money, Ten watched from the sidelines as she had to practically be held back from slapping said friend for being so rude to an innocent stranger. Unlike many in your world, your girlfriend wasnât one to judge others based on looks but rather how they treated others.
Ten also figured out rather quickly that she too tutored others in her spare time like you, something he asked her to help him with to gain more knowledge about you and what your lives looked like together. Except unlike you, she did it because she wanted to, not because her parents forced her to.
But that didnât mean her parents didnât force other things on her, like you.
According to her ranting during one of his study sessions with her, neither of you had wanted to be together in the first place. It was something your parents had decided when you were both young without consulting either one of you, but you were both too quiet and timid to say anything against it.
Though, youâd both worked out a harmonious way of living together by the time you had started college and had become good friends to try and cope with your situation. And thatâs how you found yourselves practically silently engaged in the present.
It turned out your girlfriend was quite a nice girl who was just playing a part she had been assigned since sheâd been born. He almost felt sort of bad that he had imprinted on her boyfriend and was using her to get an in with you. But what else could he do? You were his mate and you were both clearly miserable with the life that had been shoved on you. He figured he would just be doing you both a favor by trying to split you up and get you to be with him.
And once that thought process had been established in his mind, he decided to up the stakes.
-
Ten had started to drop Yangyang off to every tutoring session so he could speak with you for a few spare moments, even if it made him late to his own classes. He wanted to get to know you personally, not just from the odd little snippets of information heâd get from your girlfriend.
He figured heâd just make some sweet small talk to get more familiar with you. Then after heâd done that for an appropriate amount of times, heâd eventually move to becoming friendly enough to ask for your number and get you comfortable being around him alone. Finally, heâd eventually make his move, at least that was his plan originally. But when he saw you walk in with what was almost certainly bed head and yesterday's clothes from what was no doubt a long night of cramming for your biology exam Yangyang had mentioned you would have as soon as his tutoring was done, that idea went out the window.
As you came and rushed up to the table with a hurried apology for not being on time once more and said your pleasantries, Ten could barely comprehend the two of you were even in the same building. He was in total awe of you, he figured he was probably even staring at you like some sort of love struck idiot. But he couldnât help it. You just looked so cute.
Your soft and messy hair only accentuated your already chiseled and perfect features. Your clothes hung even closer to your body than they had the day before because they hadnât been properly washed or ironed and seemed to lay over every crease of your delicate body. And to top it off, you smelt even more like the scent that had recently become his favorite thing in the whole world after having met you, old books and cinnamon, because you were probably trying to overcompensate for the lack of fresh clothes by coating yourself in your cologne.
So when your next set of worried words about potentially failing your upcoming exam left him an opening, no one could really blame Ten for what he did next.
âWell if your exam doesnât go so well, I know of a few ways to help lessen the blow.â Ten sleekly smiled up at you, much to your and Yangyangâs sudden shock.
You had to clear the nervous spit that had lodged itself in your throat before you asked him what he meant.
âI just mean thereâs a few⊠unconventional ways of relieving stress and frustration that youâre probably not used to.â The button nosed boy finished joking just in time for his younger packmate to nudge him in the side as a warning to tread carefully.
-
If the statement the attractive guy said hadnât lit your cheeks on fire, then him having you unlock your phone so he could put his contact information in surely did.
âCall me if you need to vent out your frustration from your test youâre sure youâll fail by hitting up a party sometime. Or if you ever just want to go to one really. One might help you loosen up a little and forget everything troubling you ____.â He winked before handing you your phone back with a flare and leaving you and his friend to get to your tutoring session.
Not that that was ever gonna be easy after you had the interaction you had. You werenât the best at interacting with people who werenât as bland as they were dull, so you werenât really sure what to make of the little conversation.
Was he just trying to get you to quit yammering about how worried you were about your exam? Was he flirting with you? Or was he simply trying to be nice and help you out?
It seemed like a thousand things and possibilities were running through your mind every second. You couldnât focus, something you were sure was evident to the younger boy you were trying to teach, though he was at least kind enough not to comment on your lack of awareness.
After what felt like forever, your tutoring ended and your exam began, something that also felt like it took forever to accomplish, but you finished.
However, now you were left with a choice, one you werenât sure if you should even be considering: Message Ten that you want to party or donât and pretend the conversation never happened.
You werenât sure of his intentions, you didnât understand what he had meant by his sudden invitation to contact him. And you werenât sure why you were having such a difficult time deciding whether or not to take him up on his offer. You could go to the party and most likely have nothing happen, you could not go and have your usual routine continue. Or, maybe⊠just maybe, you could go and have something youâd secretly been dreaming of happen.
Which was stupid of you to think. You were in a relationship, you were committed to your plan. However, it seemed like each time you saw Ten, you were becoming more and more attracted to him. More attracted than you had ever been to your sort of fiance/future wife.
You liked to consider yourself a loyal guy, one who would never willingly hurt someone else, and a good person. So you couldnât really explain why you had suddenly pulled your phone out of your pocket, or why you found yourself quickly unlocking it and clicking on Tenâs contact.
But what you really couldnât understand was why you started messaging him telling him you had failed your exam and needed to let loose.
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You had gotten a 96% on your exam. So you werenât sure what you were thinking. It was a bad idea. A very very bad idea that had your head spinning in all sorts of directions and made your heart yearn in a way you werenât sure it ever had.
When he touched you, it felt like the whole world lit itself on fire. When he kissed you, you felt all the oxygen being sucked out of your lungs. You knew it was a bad decision to go to the party. Of course you knew that. But if being bad meant you were able to feel as good as Ten made you feel, you never wanted to be good again.
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He knew he should feel guilty, in his head he knew that. No good person would try to breakup a relationship just to get with another person. Ten did know that. And if you were genuinely happy with your life the way it was, heâd leave well enough allow and not bother trying to get with you to keep you happy. But you were miserable in your life. You had to have been.
You had a girlfriend you didnât love, a major you loathed, and a social life you hated. How could he not do what he could to try and get you to be happy by potentially being with him? He couldnât live with himself if he let you stay stagnant. You deserved better than that.
And thatâs exactly what he planned on showing you as he made you cry out his name all night long.
