Hawaiian shirts are my aesthetic

toms the name and doing nothing with my life is the game

[hustlerose]

my chickens havent hatched yet but i think im just gonna start counting them now

[hustlerose]

just the one yeah

[angel0835-deactivated20210805]

[warlockwhore]

my favourite roast of all tiem is ‘‘you look like pepsi max’‘

[warlockwhore]

how do you fucking recover

[world-of-cats]

[janeplease]

Why does this cat sound like a fullmetal alchemist character

[bumblebeebats]

this cat is telling me about his many crimes in the Ishvalan war

[moved--306389]

I thought these comments were way too specific, but imagine my surprise to find out they’re 100% on point

[gothcostco]

looks bad michael

[gothcostco]

[fuckkkkkkkktumblah-deactivated2]

ok... cis male, tall and lanky, brown hair that i always hide under my hat (i don't leave anywhere without it!), italian/japanese, kind of a nervous wreck, terrified of ghosts and my fav color is green!

aw omg would date u sound adorable

[batz]

[catchymemes]

[catchymemes]

[usta1969]

[whitmerule]

how do they each sound like the other species

[musingsofaraven]

Kids

[kenzodiazepine]

[marvelsmostwanted]

Me waking up in the morning: Mm bed soft and comfy

Me refusing to go to bed at a reasonable hour at night: Mm screen bright and funny

[catchymemes]

[everythingfox]

kitty paws

[necro-om-nom-nomicon]

no thoughts head empty

[badjokesbyjeff]

Jesus was relaxing in Heaven when he noticed a familiar looking old man

Wondering if the old man was His father Joseph, Jesus asked him, “Did you, by any chance, ever have a son?”

“Yes,” said the old man, “but he wasn’t my biological son. He was born by a miracle, by the intervention of a magical being from the heavens.”

“Very interesting,” said Jesus. “Did this boy ever have to fight temptation?”

“Oh, yes, many times,” answered the old man. “But he eventually won. Unfortunately, he heroically died at one point, but he came back to life shortly afterwards.”

Jesus couldn’t believe it. Could this actually be His father?

“One last question,” He said. “Were you a carpenter?”

“Why yes,” replied the old man. “Yes I was.”

Jesus rubbed His eyes and said, “Dad?”

The old man rubbed his eyes and said, “Pinocchio?”

[yayitsmee]

Change your url Jeff

[sandersstudies]

My husband has informed me that around 2-3am he woke up to muffled screaming and discovered that the cat had pulled open the Tupperware drawer and crawled inside, but her weight had closed the drawer and she was stuck inside and needed rescuing.

[badgerdryad]

Permission to laugh?

[sandersstudies]

I mean I definitely laughed

[in-my-defense-i-was-left-alone]

how does a cat open a cupboard drawer?

[sandersstudies]

With her little criminal paws

[in-my-defense-i-was-left-alone]

can we see the little criminal?

[sandersstudies]

^^^ This cat is a delinquent

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[blancabitchcraft]

[mornington-the-crescent]