Disproportionate amounts of yelling into the void

I don't know what i'm doing or how this site works but no one can stop me

[charl0ttan]

hey bro qick question .do i seem like a person to you

[briarpatch-kids]

My answer to the "what is the point?" (Of living disabled) Question that ableds always seem to ask is "man, are you so disconnected from life that all you have going for you is an able body? You don't have people you'd miss and who would miss you, you don't ever see a nice sunset and feel a breeze and go 'that's really Nice?' Have you never tasted a really good cup of tea? What's the point of My Life? What's the point of YOURS?"

[vamptits]

I can't keep having the same conversations about love languages, mbti, iq, bmi, "brain fully formed at 25" and shit over and over again...

[vamptits]

these things exist on a spectrum from untrue to straightforwardly racist btw. so if we could retire them forever that'd be nice.

[villainessbian]

quick rundown so we can put it to rest:

love languages: MADE UP! it's just a list of some common things viewed as traditionally romantic (and mostly from a western society/european culture tradition)

MBTI: RACIST! its creator wrote "murder mystery" novels that revolved around the ideas that personality type could identify murderers, and that suicide is the correct answer if you discover you have non-white ancestry. the MBTI has cultural bias allowing corporations to effectively segregate by colour by pretending to be "screening for collaborative types" when in reality they only hire white people. It's also obviously bunk I hope this goes without saying but the racist stuff is never true

IQ: MADE UP! "intellectual quotient" tests can not test "the intellect," only a few functions across a narrow spectrum of what brains do. Not only are those functions not inherent, but trained (you can just get better at IQ tests by practising them), they're also used as a be-all-end-all of intelligence, a notion notoriously hard to define. RACIST! After being taken to mean "intelligence," the IQ has been demonstrated to be tied to abstract cognition functions mostly valued and trained in the global north, the reaction to which has been "well that proves the others are dumber" with IQ consistently used as an argument to support that claim

BMI: MADE UP! It was invented by and for health insurance, not health services providers. Exploring in detail claims about BMI showed most of them to be bunk and the others to need infinitely more nuance, some weak correlation never strong causation. RACIST! fatphobia affects non-white people a lot through a mix of difficult economic situations and compounding effects of already-strained access to healthcare

"brain fully formed at 25": MADE UP! A widely-quoted study on brain development just stopped looking after the age of 25 but brain development and maturation etc showed no sign of stopping before, and the criteria used in number of connections, readiness to create more etc showed impressive variance with young children having more "mature" brains than adults

[bugs-world22]

Ok so this is a sort of vent/rant post and not at all Star Wars but I don’t have any other accounts so I’m putting here.

I have 3 chronic stomach issues. 1 diagnosed (Gastroesophageal reflux disease) and 2 undiagnosed and people in my family have been pissing me off. SO here is what not to say to someone with chronic stomach issues/pain! (P.s. if anyone thinks they know what I’m experiencing please chime in!!!)

“I used to have acid reflux and I took — and then it went away! I bet it will help you!”

I have taken sooo many medications. And it’s not just normal acid reflux (which lots of people can get and is super easy to treat so don’t panic if you have it!) it’s very much chronic. Please please please stop suggesting stuff to me I guarantee I’ve either already tried it or know it won’t work.

“Going for a walk/run can really help gastro issues! Have you tried it?”

Now to be fair this can be true. My issue with it is that one of my issues cause pain and discomfort every time I stand up let alone walk. I have explained this many times to many people and I still constantly get this “helpful tip”. Please listen to me when I tell you I can’t do something.

My stomach hurts too when I eat/drink junk food. You’re overreacting.”

I guarantee you I am not. I’m sorry that it happens to you but knowing how I feel it’s probably not the same thing. I either feel like I’m on the verge of throwing up all day and sometimes for multiple days at a time. Or I’m in pain every time I stand up and try to do anything. Oh and it can be when I eat anything not just junk food. You don’t know my body and how it feels. And you can’t tell because I try to hide my discomfort to make you happy and to attempt to get on with my life. Please don’t ever tell me I’m “faking it” or “overreacting” you have no idea.

Anddd last but not least:

“Don’t eat/drink that. It will hurt your stomach.”

Yes you are right. The ice cream or cookie I’m about to eat probably will hurt my stomach. But I track everything I eat and have had so many tests done but still cant find a trigger. Junk food does usually trigger it but anything can, so I might as well eat/drink something I enjoy when I get the chance. Also, DONT TELL DISABLED PEOPLE WHAT TO DO WITH OUR BODIES!!!

Anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk. I really wish people in my family listened to me :)

[cock-holliday]

Idk man it’s so easy to get bogged down in all the bullshit online but when my then-6 year old cousin found out I was trans he said “ok” then corrected my grandma when she misgendered me. I was once the third between a gay man and a lesbian. Two lesbians once invited me back to their place when I presented as a man. I met an AMAB nb butch who looked strikingly to outsiders like a cis man and it was one of the more sapphic experiences I’ve had. I nervously wore a boydyke shirt to pride and got 3 different cis-looking femme folks tell me they loved my shirt. I once told a trans group at a protest that any pronouns were fine for me and one person said “wow, I’m impressed and intimidated by people like that. I don’t know that I could be that chill with pronouns.” I once told a GNC friend I wished I could wear a type of “opposite” gender clothing after I had already transitioned and so it would be associated with my AGAB and he said “You could just do it.” I’ve had cishet men fight cops for me before. The first time I had a doctor ask me if my name was different than what was on my forms I had to try not to cry. Last week, a phone call with a doctor’s office where I am generally cis passing asked unprompted if my name listed is what I want to be called. It touched me then too. I told a lesbian friend once I felt like my attraction to men AND women both felt gay. She said “makes sense.” And we moved on. I go by different pronouns in different circles. I’ve had gay women love my facial hair. I’ve had gay men like my tits. It’s all out there, I promise. It can be hard to find it but I promise there is community like you and community who likes you. And it’s more messy and beautiful than tumblr discourse makes it out to be.

[square-opossums]

watching gen z and millennials make fun of gen alpha has been torturous. "But they're actually stupid" 1. theyre middle schoolers 2. isn't that what older gens said about us? don't you remember being 11?

it truly is just "impulse reaction to cringe <- has not yet unlearned shame"

the cycle continues let me out of here

guys. guys I think we should kill cringe culture

[goandlivelife]

cringe culture can't exist without ableism.

Think somethings cringe? go unlearn that.

[auroramosaic]

happy disability pride month to everyone who is multiply disabled, especially people with both physical and mental conditions!!

most people with disabilities have more than one condition. comorbidities, aka associated co-present illnesses, are common with most physical conditions.

and this includes mental illness! MANY PEOPLE WITH PHYSICAL DISABILITIES HAVE MENTAL ILLNESSES TOO!

mental health in the physical disability community is so often overlooked or ignored but is SO important!

so if you've got multiple things goin on, and maybe are tired of listing everything off all the time, I LOVE YOU and I NEED you to live, and live as full of a life as you can

[goandlivelife]

I have both. It's so annoying- they blame my physical stuff on my mental illness, and my mental stuff in my physical illness.

They also blame my autism on my trans identity and my trans identity on my autism.

They tell me i have too many things wrong for any of it to be real. I promise i'm trying.

[boycritter]

sorry yeah ive got a bad case of Thinking About My Friends. im afraid its incurable. symptoms include happiness and love and wishes that they will have the life they want to live.

[pansyfemme]

polyamory would not always fix the love triangle. sometimes it would make it much, much worse. but they should do it anyway

[frigbob]

Person who wants to do stuff trapped in a body that needs to lie down

[viktor-the-leshen]

[rosslynpaladin]

I want this BLAZED across tumblr like a banner at the top of the screen, permanently

[energon-keeper]

Happy Disability Pride month everypony,

I wanted to ask those who are disabled and considered themselves queer or even allies. Do you think there is a ableism problem in the queer community? Please let me know, I want to do a video on this topic.

[goandlivelife]

Yes! there is! but there also is a lot more inclusivity in some queer spaces than i've found anywhere else outside of specifically disabled spaces?

I find it really depends on how politically queer they are? the groups that believe in "no one is free until we are all free" and actually put that into all they do - there is a lot less ableism. I also find those spaces are easier to speak up about your needs and not be spoken over (but a lot of work still needs to be done!)

whereas the more corporate gays, prides, events etc - they're downright inaccessible and i've faced a fair amount of ableism within them.

it's the difference of, there were two prides in my city. one had cops and sponsorships and lots of rainbows, and accessibility of the route was only assessed a week before because someone asked for it. and the other one was a grassroots protest, no cops, no corporations, and the route was chosen specifically so it was accessible, and not too long, so there was places to sit during the speeches in the middle, with all the information published beforehand. they were only missing a BSL interpreter but i know that wasn't for lack of trying to find someone.

for me i see Queer as a label you Claim rather than just are. Queer is something you fight for, and being Queer means fighting for all, and unpacking your shit even when it's uncomfortable. whereas queer spaces, that have not acknowledged their own upholding of unjust systems and capitalism- that's where i tend to get problems (and people being annoyed if i correct them on stuff!)

tdlr: in grassroot spaces, no i don't think there is an ableism problem- they aren't perfect and things happen, but they're trying and willing to learn. in other queer spaces... won't lie i don't really go to any anymore bc of ableism and sometimes transphobia

[heulwenflower]

Why I won't go to the doctor

Hello doctor

Yes I'm 20

Biologically?Well I have a vagina if that answers your question

19 stone isn't why I'm here

What's the problem?Well it's hard to explain

In one sentence it would be pain

It never leaves me

Day or night

Radiating my body

Never straying to far from my back

I'm sorry to bother you about this aswell

But tiredness weighs on my life

I carry it aswell as I can but its just getting too big

I can't go to events as often as i want

because it'll always be there

And for days after it'll bring a plauge that I can't shake

This is a bit embarrassing but I can't keep it secret anymore

It's my down belows

And it's a war zone

It's the world's strictest border force

Letting no one in

If you try to sneak in it'll push you out

Then attack itself for not being strong

While my tap keeps dripping

I know I've told you this before

But my heart is a runner when I stand still

I keep going dizzy and I see no sight in end

When I'm so used to seeing it start to fade to black

Don't roll your eyes

But I still feel sick everyday

I just don't complain because it's normal now

I know we're running out of time but just one more thing

My bones want to escape my body

Rolling,locking,grinding

Trying to break free

I know all of this is silly but please believe me

There an old curse I've been to ashamed to speak

I can't be haunted anymore so please believe me

Doctor Doctor

What's your answer?

It's all in my head and to get on a treadmill

Well alright then

[syn4k]

"who radicalized you" ever since i was a child i wanted other people to be treated nicely and fairly because i didnt understand why theyd deserve otherwise and it fills me with disgust seeing how people treat their fellow human beings sometimes

[goandlivelife]

the more "radical" i become, the more i feel true to myself. the more i unlearn from this world the more i feel like i'm honouring the kid who didn't understand why the world was so cruel.

so am i really radicalised? when i'm having to unlearn what this world has put into my brain?

[ladyshinga]

Doctors should snark at each other more, be a bit mean. Not for no reason, mind you. But if five doctors blow me off about symptoms and doctor number six FINALLY runs actual tests and gets a diagnosis, I think it should be Doctor Six's right to call up the other five and tell them they're lazy pieces of shit. That should be socially encouraged. Those first five doctors clearly can't listen to patients, but maybe another doctor might finally get to them.

[smoov-criminal]

im still frustrated about this, having to ask for something to be changed is NOT accessibility. i shouldn't have to ask for a baby changing table to be moved in order to use the bathroom somewhere. we shouldn't have to ask for an elevator key, for an "accessible" entrance to be unlocked, for a ramp to be brought out. you cannot call your business accessible if someone has to ask for these things, full stop. it honestly feels a bit humiliating to have to ask for these changes and have an employee roll their eyes at you before doing it, if it even gets done at all

if we can't use a business with the same dignity and ease of an abled person it is not accessible, so do disabled people a favor and just say its inaccessible so we dont waste our time

[goandlivelife]

no such thing as accessible if it isn't as independent as possible.

trains absolutely could have an automatic ramp built in. but no people keep getting left on trains bc no one's gone and got the ramp to let them off the train.

buses could be the same but no, bus drivers drive past because they don't want to get up to open the ramp for you.

there's a quiet room at my unis su, but it's locked. you have to go and ask reception to get security to unlock it for you.

i'm fucking 23, stop making me ask to go piss. stop making me rely on other peoples kindness (that is often not there) to navigate my life when it's completely unnecessary.

[storybookprincess]

probably my most powerful interpersonal communication hack is to, whenever possible, ask either/or questions rather than yes/no questions

for example, when chatting with coworkers, i’ll often ask if they have any fun weekend plans. but let’s be real - we all feel like friendless losers when someone asks that question and we go “uhhhhh… no.” so instead, i phrase it as “so, do you have anything fun planned over the weekend, or are you just going to enjoy having some time to relax?”

phrased like this, there’s rarely any awkwardness. you’ve presented two options & given both equally positive connotations, so your conversational partner has an automatic “out,” so to speak

but it works for higher stakes conversations too!!!! my mom was saying this weekend how she and her neighbor both like walking around the neighborhood & that she wanted to suggest they take a walk together sometime, but was worried about how to approach the conversation

so i said “how about you just say ‘i’ve noticed we both like taking walks! would you be interested in going for one together, or do you use walks for some precious alone time?’”

now Walking Neighbor has an automatic “get out of jail free card” if she wants to say no!!!! which means my mom doesn’t have to worry about the conversation being uncomfortable, because she’s set it up to go smoothly

either/or questions rather than yes/no questions. it is really like magic