Ineffably So

[fearthefuzzybear]

oh uh. scuse me. just a lil snail crossing your dash

[teaboot]

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

[teaboot]

(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy

[teaboot]

One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable

[teaboot]

To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit

[teaboot]

"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."

[ruffboi-mags]

"Sure, he's done a lot of good for the city, we love the guy don't get us wrong, but it's not like he's fuckin SUPERMAN or anything."

[homunculus-argument]

I think the funniest dynamic for arranged-marriage royalty would be a queen who came here 100% prepared to murder her future husband and rule as a widow queen in her own right, only to discover that the king is autistic as hell and responds to her wish to rule with "oh thank god please do, I don't want to be bothered by these people. I can just tell them to go bother you instead, if you really want that. I've got beetles I wanted to study."

[stele3]

"I'm really not good at it," the king admits with horrible, aching grief. The country is in disarray. Peasants go hungry. Nobles trade power amongst themselves with impunity.

So the queen takes over and ruthlessly sets things to rights. Fires several generals, hangs nobles, redirects wealth to the peasantry. It isn't long before the first assassination attempt, which she expected.

She did not expect her docile, beetle-obsessed husband to go absolutely feral and fling himself at the assassins wielding a pair of sharp knives.

[stele3]

Also, the beetles are intended to attack and kill a certain type of invasive worm that has been killing off the gourd and potato crops for decades. He’s been trying since he was a child to crossbreed several native species to be hardier and better diggers. When he finally gets it right it’s all over for you bitches (“you bitches” being mass starvation of subsistence farmers).

[alexaloraetheris]

Mad Scientist and the Head of HR ass dynamic

[cipher-fresh]

I must not mock Gen Alpha. Mocking Gen Alpha is the mind killer. Mocking Gen Alpha is the little-death that brings total generational solidarity obliteration. I will engage with Gen Alpha lovingly. I will permit them to be cringe. And when they grow up I will turn my eye to their accomplishments. Where mocking has gone there will be nothing. Only generational solidarity remains

[goblim-life]

I can't wait to see the next generation grow up and bring positive change to the world like we've worked to do and will continue to do. Like do some people not get how exciting that is?? The world is changing!!!

[persephoneinspace-deactivated20]

If you ask yourself “Would Gomez Addams treat me this way?” And the answer is no, move tf on from that situation.

[natural--blues]

If you’re a wlw ask if Morticia would ever treat you this way.

If the answer is no, move on.

[patchworkheart-deactivated20200]

“Is this how an Addams would behave?” Is the best way to make sure you’re being treated fairly and with love

[sensicalabsurdities]

Except maybe not for sibling relationships because Wednesday likes to try to guillotine her brother.

[ozziedawn]

no that’s just how siblings are

[higglety]

she did that with Pugsley’s enthusiastic and informed consent, and it was a game that made both of them happy and, improbably, harmed no one. They’re fine.

[animentality]

[sarnakhwritesthings]

ok @mylittleredgirl @sigynpenniman you two are my language friends what the FUCK does this mean

[sigynpenniman]

In this case “chat” is as in Twitch Chat, like when streamers talk to their twitch chats directly, like “hey, chat, what’s happening?” Not sure what they mean by 4th person pronoun - I would consider “chat” a 2nd person plural (you all) but I can see the potential for defining it as a completely separate thing due to the nature of “chat” being a undefined person instead of a specific one? Idk it’s fascinating tho

[roach-works]

4th person is referring to the hypothetical collective of people beyond the fourth wall. the fourth wall is the invisible barrier between the stage and the seats, the actor and the audience. and actors 'break' the fourth wall when they address the audience directly and acknowledge that they're a person playing a character for entertainment. in some styles of performance this should never be done, like opera or musicals, because it can collapse the weight and momentum of the story. in others, like improv and game shows, audience participation is encouraged because it's explicitly a collaboration.

in the streaming era (in our panopticon culture) the fourth wall is extremely permeable in interesting new ways. streamers aren't just playing to an audience, they're able to read and respond to messages from that audience too. it's a collaborative improv, there's a call and response, the audience knows the streamer relies on them for attention as they rely on him for entertainment.

so, yeah, 'chat' isn't second person, it's fourth. i'm not referring to the 'you' that's here with me on this side of the stage, im referring to the people beyond this situation, watching our funny little problems. all the world is a stage, now. don't forget to like and subscribe.

[she-waves-at-cats]

I think it needs to become common knowledge that "inability to read social cues" can show up as overcompensating.

You don't know how much misbehaviour is allowed, so you become the perfect child who never tests rules.

You don't know if someone is irritated with you, so you'll be extra generous and self-effacing.

You don't know how much is expected of you at work so you'll kill yourself in a minimum-wage job and not notice that nobody else is working like this.

"Hardworking and quiet" should be as much of an autism red flag as "ignores rules and doesn't know when to stop talking". Or why don't we just start using words to communicate so i can stop tracking everybody's eyebrow twitches, that would be great.

[bread-tab]

Sometimes (though not nearly as often) you get subtypes of this where overcompensating even grows into a special interest. I'm looking at you, autistic actors, psychologists, etiquette experts, interculturalists, anthropologists, sociologists, hospitality gurus, fiction writers, philosophers... All you bemused scholars of humanity.

"Ah, this doesn't apply to me... after years of intense study, I can reliably read most social cues!"

When you spend all day in a performance where you are so incredibly Normal and Socially Skilled and then collapse into a nonverbal puddle as soon as you get home, that's an autism.

...

Also. "Not picking up on social cues" is a frame of the situation which looks in from the outside, where "social cues" are a mundane, obvious facet of reality.

As an internal experience, it feels more like: "Most other human beings are weird and unpredictable, especially in groups. They seem to have shared sets of secret rules and nearly imperceptible ways of communicating which lead to erratic, disturbing behavior."

[grison-in-space]

In addition: if you notice that your ability to parse and respond to social cues suddenly goes to absolute shit when you are tired or distracted... you might be looking at hypervigilant social compensation. like a swan gliding through a pond full of sailboats. sure, you might actually be more maneuverable and faster than the sailboats in some circumstances, but boy howdy are those little feets paddling underneath the surface..

[tlbodine]

....oh.

[wuxiaphoenix]

So much this.

[goblim-life]

Oh ..dang.

Dude, who is in my walls right now??

No but seriously, I'm an autistic actor who spend my entire autism assessment talking *at* the assessor because someone FINALLY wanted to hear how I see the world and I spend my life overanalyzing the ever loving SHIT outta the world... Anyway, she was really lovely and my assessment want definitely not as shit of degrading as the internet led me to believe (as an adult getting assessed). I mean it was definitely not designed for my age but the assessor did a great job of making me feel seen and respected.

[goosewithajob]

If anyone tries to tell you that Shakespeare is stuffy or boring or highbrow, just remember that the word “nothing” was used in Elizabethan era slang as a euphemism for “vagina”. 

Shakespeare has a play called “Much Ado About Nothing”, which you could basically read in modern slang as “Freaking Out Over Pussy”. And that’s pretty much exactly what happens in the play. 

[kiralamouse]

It’s also a pun with a third meaning. There’s the sex sense of much ado about “nothing”, there’s the obvious sense that people today see, and then there’s the fact that in Shakespeare’s day, “nothing” was pronounced pretty much the same as “noting”, which was a term used for gossip. So, “Flamewar Over Rumors” works as a title interpretation, too.

The reason we call Shakespeare a genius is that he can make a pussy joke in the same exact words he uses to make biting social commentary about letting unverified gossip take over the discourse.

[ms-demeanor]

Hey, hey, hey, you’re forgetting the fourth thing, that noting (again, pronounced note-ing) was a pun on music NOTES and that’s why there’s a shitload of singing and dancing and puns about singing and dancing because Much Ado About Noting is basically Freaking Out Over Pussy The Musical: Gossip Making a Mountain out of a Molehill.

[justalurkr]

Today I learned

[aparrotandaqrow]

You know who I think about in far too much depth sometimes?

That little clock guy from Beauty and the Beast. Cogsworth.

This scene specifically. He is so proud of himself when he tells this joke. And he's so proud of the castle.

We see pretty explicitly in the film that the castle servants are lonely, and desperate for something new, after 10 years of the curse. But think about what the curse means for someone like Cogsworth, and what this little joke he tells implies.

He's so damn proud of the castle. He's so eager to take Belle on a tour, and tell her all about the castle's history, and not just its history, but its art history. And he's probably not the first of his family to serve in this castle; his family has probably lived and worked in this castle for generations. The heritage of the castle is as much his own family legacy as it is the Prince's.

He was so ready with that joke; it was a polished and rehearsed line. You get the sense this is a practiced tour; he gave it to dignitaries and guests frequently before the curse. And he hadn't had a chance to use it on anyone for ten years.

I dunno, I'm just struck by what it must have felt like for this man, for the curse to not only mean his physical transformation and confinement, and isolation from the outside world, but also to lose the ability to tell the story of his family home to guests from near and far. So much of his purpose was wrapped up in telling the castle's story, and for ten years he couldn't really do that—when all the other guests were transformed into representations of their purpose (brightening a room through entertainment, cleaning up, cooking, etc), all he can do is mark time, unable to tell his defining story.

And then Belle walks in, and he cannot resist but tell the stupidest fucking joke that he's been holding in for 10 years.

[headspace-hotel]

idea: scene with two characters eagerly stripping each other clearly about to bone, but they keep getting interrupted by finding carefully concealed weapons in each other’s clothing, so they keep just unholstering, revealing and unstrapping increasingly ludicrous amounts of hidden guns and knives as the clothes come off, and it’s lowkey killing the mood a little

[findingfeather]

Alternatively: it's not killing the mood at all but it's totally making both of them giggle like they're twelve and possibly get lowkey competitive in a subconscious way about who has the most to drop.

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

The more that I think of it the more I'm seeing the incredible intimacy of letting someone know where you keep your backup knife.

Like my god, the trust involved in letting someone undress you and learn your secrets instead of popping into the bathroom to change where they can't see and hiding all your weapons under the sink

[headspace-hotel]

...Oh

[brainsforbabyjesus]

second alternative: you go to hide all your weapons under the sink but there’s already a bunch of weapons hidden underneath the sink.

awkward

[tyrannosaurus-trainwreck]

It’s not that there’s already a bunch of weapons hidden underneath the sink that makes it awkward so much as that there’s so many weapons hidden underneath the sink that they fall out of the cabinet with the unmistakable sound of a knife-alanche, and then the other person comes in like “I can explain!” and you’re just dead-ass standing there with your own armload of weapons like “I can also explain.”

[fenrislorsrai]

Married version is shoving your hand in your partner’s clothes when you’re out of weapons because you KNOW where their spare is.  Or wearing a weapon in a spot you can’t draw from yourself because its now spare storage for your spouse’s weapons.

[justlookatthosesausages]

Every single one of you is a genius

[charcubed]

say what you will about alleged preexisting plans for the good omens sequel aka now good omens s3 (and there is a lot to say about All That), but one of the few things on the record by Neil is that Aziraphale was going to be taking notes on porn. like literally in the original sequel plan he was watching 2 minutes of soft core porn in a hotel room and taking notes for reasons unspecified, and it’s one of the few things ever said about the sequel.

and now here we are with a show that is a very blatant queer love story, and Aziraphale and Crowley kissed on international streaming television, and Aziraphale may or may not still end up taking notes on porn in s3 in some fashion to complete that previous plan/prediction, and now the Implications will be extra unavoidable and thus extra hilarious, and what I’m saying is: they are going to FUCK.

furthermore: my hottest genuine take is that if we had to witness Anathema and Newt fucking then there is absolutely zero legitimate non-homophobic reason the gay angel and demon should not get to fuck too. spectacularly. to their full natural hedonistic level.

I simply think Aziraphale’s long foretold porn research should not go to waste.

[cahootings]

it's so funny that they're actually making shows gay now. Why do I even need to be here anymore I don't need made up scenarios they're out there kissing each other on the face on my actual tv screen. gonna pack up my little kerchief and stick with a chunk of cheese and piece of bread

[iantoharkness-jones]

They are married, they just don't know yet. 😁❤️

[unusualshrimp]

felt gay, saved a bunch of crowley images. who wants them

[actual-changeling]

i have watched the kiss scene and the breakup as a whole more times than i can count and my brain is still trying to process all the things it picked up on.

my newest painful obsession: aziraphale thought crowley came back for him.

they kiss, aziraphale says i forgive you and instead condemns them both, crowley leaves. the lip touching itself is fucking essay worthy because holy SHIT the amount of micro expressions flickering across his face is endless, michael sheen acted his ass off.

i think it's a mixture of surprise, unspoken love, a HEAVY dose of fear, disbelief, and oh my god what did he just do what did i just do. he turns away from the door and we get a very very quick shot of how exactly he is angled.

standing up straight with faked spiteful anger, the same anger he spit at crowley out of fear and insecurity, chin up, clearly waiting for something - or rather someone. we gotta remember that every single time crowley has left aziraphale, he came back. every. single. time. he came back and apologized, that's what they do.

crowley comes back and aziraphale forgives him and they continue bearing their silence.

the bell rings when the door opens again, just like it did when crowley left, and just. look at his face. how quickly he swivels around. the blink and you will miss it spark of hope.

and then the pure devastation when he realizes it's not crowley.

aziraphale thought crowley was coming back for him. he was WAITING for him to come back. even after all that, he couldn't imagine crowley actually leaving him behind, especially not after that kiss and his entire indirect love confession.

just like crowley thought for a tiny heartbeat that aziraphale was kissing him back, aziraphale hoped, hell, he fucking thought he KNEW crowley would never abandon him. not after "i could always rely on you. you could always rely on me." aziraphale has taken him for granted, of course he thought it was him coming through the door.

but that spark of hope gets stomped out beneath the metatrash's feet and he fully turns around, unable to face him and the reality of it all.

this time, he went too far.

this time, crowley did not want forgiveness.

he was about to say i love you and turned it into i forgive you, still clinging to their old ways, their old rituals, just that they are no longer those beings, no longer in that specific relationship. everything has changed.

they both thought the other would never abandon them. turns out they were both wrong.

[xjade-lotusx]

What if we actually get to see flashbacks of Crowley's Fall in season 3. Since Aziraphale will be supreme archangel, he'll have access to all the files. Crowley's files. He'll learn how heaven erased Crowley's angelic memories too. I am unwell.

[goblim-life]

I actually may never recover from this

[zumerkka]