Goblin Shane

@Heated_goblin on TikTok. @Addinavi on ao3. Gay goblin. Goblin who loves gay. I write gay stuff, and post gay stuff, and do gay stuff. Mid-20s. Minors DNI.

[goblin-shane]

wait a minute…does everybody…hates me? what i do wrong?

do you hates goblin shane?

yes, i hate you

no, i loves you

Voting ended onApr 24

[goblin-shane]

GOBLIN SHANE YOU’RE ON TUMBLR TOO!! Best day of my life 😭🙏

Thanky I loves you

[lavenderprose]

To be clear. Shane's whole thing about Ilya being a Sex God is because of the limerence. Ilya is nineteen and he can get a rhythm going and that's about it. He was throwing shit at the wall when he hit that 'Get on your knees' in Nashville but only he knows that because Shane's brain turned OFF. Ilya said "Let's do a little experiment here" and the results were "Oh my god oh my god oh my god." Shane came hands free because he was that obsessed with the idea of Ilya Rozanov being inside him. Ilya said "Do you like that do you like that" because he's nineteen and he needs the validation and Shane was like "YES YES YES I LIKE IT OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO DEEP YOU'RE SO GOOD" and objectively. It was okay. Ilya fully did not know where to put his hands a couple of times. He forgot about Shane's dick. Luckily, Shane is God's special angel who can come from the idea of Ilya's cockhead being in proximity to his prostate a few times. Mind over matter, says Shane Hollander's dick. And then Ilya said "Oh God Hollander" because it was also, objectively, one of the hottest things that had ever happened to HIM, Ilya Rozanov. Shane sits on that step afterwards plotting about how he's gonna get this over and over and over again for the rest of his life and he has no idea that there are women in Boston who have Ilya listed in their contacts as "Hockey Guy 6/10". Shane Hollander cannot fathom a world in which Ilya Rozanov doesn't lay the maddest pipe this side of Lake Michigan. "Ilya Rozanov is a some kind of nineteen year old sex God" No Shane honey he was just designed in a lab to score goals and make you cum and he's done scoring goals for the night.

[goblin-shane]

have you seens my cornchip?

yea i saw him get dragged by a bus

no…

your what?

Voting ended onJun 4

[bisexualincarnate]

I think Shane Hollander would use his hometown superstar hockey powers to rent out the Ottawa stadium for one night maybe for like one of their anniversaries so he and Ilya could be completely alone and maybe they actually suit up and play 1v1 for awhile (hard and fast of course. like the golden age) and maybe it is actually too cold to fuck on center ice so instead they feel each other up in the actual Sin Bin bc Obviously but Shane stops it from going too far so they go to the locker room bc Shane wants to roleplay the first time in the showers after the commercial except this time he actually gets to do what he really wanted to do and suck Ilya off right there in the middle of the shower and he doesn't have to worry about anyone there but maybe they pretend they will get caught a little bit...

[goblin-shane]

who makes the better brit? goblin shane, or cornchip?

goblin shane, bruv xxx

cornchip! he’s proper fit

i’m just poopied my pants…

Voting ended onJun 2

[goblin-shane]

girl, you know i wants your love. happy honeymoon. cornchip has wig rash. i tolds him not to wears this outfit.

[goblin-shane]

Beautifuls wedding couple?

So cute and beautifuls

Ewww. Ewwww. Ewwwww.

Voting ended onMay 25

[goblin-shane]

congrats on getting married! where ru and cornchip going for the honeymoon

Somewhere warm. I wants him to see my beautiful body in bikini

[goblin-shane]

beautiful couple. beautiful day. you will never have what we have.

[goblin-shane]

goblin shane and cornchip wedding. happiest day of my life except other than when i peed on myself a little bit during the ceremony but is ok it dried sticky.

[lexicanons]

You know that meme that’s like “A job will have you, a 21 year old, with a 55 year old bestie” Well, AU where Ilya gets hired at the Treasury Board and quickly becomes besties with David Hollander. They’re really good at their jobs so they finish most of their work by 10:30 am and spend the rest of the day fucking around and pretending to be busy together. They get lunch together and talk shit about their boss. David tells Ilya that he’s throwing a birthday party and asks Ilya to come. “You can meet my son and talk hockey! I think you’ll like him!” Ilya decides to go and the party is in full swing when he arrives. David takes him around, introducing him to people until they make it to David’s son. David introduces him to Shane and Ilya is taken by how beautiful Shane is. He’s admiring Shane’s freckles when it dawns on him that he’s staring at THE Shane Hollander, best hockey player in the league. David told him that his son plays hockey but he never put it together that David’s Shane was THE Shane. Ilya and Shane end up in the far corner of the living room, talking all night as the party goes on around them. Years later at their wedding, during his speech, David admits to throwing the birthday party to hook Ilya and Shane up.

[goblin-shane]

which cornchip is more beautifuls?

cornchip before eye transplant

cornchip after eyes transplant

Voting ended onMay 19

be honests….

[goblin-shane]

eye transplants surgery on cornchip was success. i am so talented.

[goblin-shane]

a successfuls bugs removal surgery on cornchip if i do says so myself.

[goblin-shane]

omg sorry about going to prison. surprisingly, you're not the first ao3 author I've seen mention being arrested. I once saw someone put in an author's note that it's hard for them to get inspired when their arrest-aversary and parole-aversary pop up. they did not give a date but there was a noticeable gap in their works, in terms of time, fandom, and number of works posted

It’s ok I deserved to be arrested after what I did with those bees. I was wrong and I learned my lesson

[goblin-shane]

Goblin Shane discord server for any of my loyals goblins who wants to joins

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